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Jesus Freak Josh
January 3rd, 2005, 02:10 AM
MissingNo - Evil Over - Ruler

Prologue:
"This will be our biggest break through yet!" said a voice in the darkness.

"I agree!" said another voice. "First we cloned Pokmon. Now, we have CREATED one!"

"The boss will be pleased," said the first voice again. "This will be the world's most powerful Pokmon!"

Light suddenly shone. A white flash that blinded me. Soon it disappeared and I saw two strange creatures standing before me. I did not quite understand what they were at this current moment.
The first one walked over to a switch and pulled it. As soon as the switch had been pulled, data suddenly went flowing to my head. I realised these two creatures were humans. Scientists known as Professor Mumbo and Professor Jumbo.

The two humans wore labcoats. Professor Mumbo was tall with black hair. Professor Jumbo was small with brown hair.
As I examined these two humans, data was still flowing to my head. I realised that I had ten encyclopedia's worth of knowledge in my head at the moment! And it was still coming!

"Soon this Pokmon will have all of the knowledge of all Pokmon!" said Professor Mumbo with, what I realised, a hint of joy in his voice.

"What do you mean?" asked Professor Jumbo, slightly confused.

"You see," began Professor Mumbo. "MissingNo will be created with data of all Pokmon. All of the cells from them. It may look like a gentle flamingo now, but soon, it will look like - oh I don't know... An Articuno with Charizard's tail perhaps? Or... a Pinsir with Hitmonchan's fast and strong arms.

"I get it now," replied Professor Jumbo who appeared to be finally getting the point. "MissingNo is going to know every move, therefore, Team Rocket will be invincible!"

"Exactly!" said Professor Mumbo snapping his fingers.

'I'm a tool?' I asked myself in my head slowly. '[I[Nothing but a tool? I wanted to be a bit more helpful. Maybe help injured Pokmon...[/I]'
As I was going through this in my head, I noticed that Professor Mumbo was walking to a switch. This time a different switch. He pulled it. I felt alot of pain in my body. I felt it enlarge, my brain was growing with it. Data was pouring into my head as fast as The Flash could run. As I was growing, in one section of my mind, I realised that I was turning evil. Evil thoughts flooded in my head. One was to destroy the lab. It wouldn't take much effort I guessed. Considering all of the equipment in the lab was sparking!

"What's happening?" screamed Professor Jumbo as Professor Mumbo worked hard trying to get it working again. The two noticed the lab was going to explode. As they ran, the data eventually stopped flooding in and I broke out of the test tube I realised I was just in. I took a look around the lab for the first and last time. It was fairly big and full of lots of test tubes.
I looked at my reflection through one of the test tubes. I looked like a giant barcode! I was all scrambled data. Ones and zeroes everywhere... and I think I saw a two!
Realising there was no such thing as 'two', I made an energy blast the size of my body and fired. This blew the lab completely!

Meanwhile, Professor Mumbo and Jumbo were in the helicopter escaping.

"I'm glad we got away from the lab!" said Jumbo.
"Yeah!" said Mumbo. "I know! And that MissingNo was giving me the creeps! Well, it went down with the lab. I don't think we'll have to worry about it ever again!"

Deep in the ruins of the lab, however, there was a small twitch in the wipqozn. Lots of twitches in fact...

TO BE CONTINUED.

References and Meanings:

Two: From Futurama.
Bender: Ones and zeroes everywhere... and I think I saw a two!
Fry: "It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two."

Wipqozn: From Dilbert. It means Debriss.

That's just the prologue and I won't do the rest in first person. I was just doing it in the sight of MissingNo,

emeraldslay
January 4th, 2005, 11:39 AM
Intresting! This looks good! I can't wait to see the rest! I love the way you referenced that futurama episode. It actually made me laugh! Keep up!

Jesus Freak Josh
January 4th, 2005, 12:15 PM
Intresting! This looks good! I can't wait to see the rest! I love the way you referenced that futurama episode. It actually made me laugh! Keep up!
Lol. Yeah that was pretty funny. I'll probably have the next chapter up on Friday. I may update it every Saturday I'm not sure. But I do have various other activities such as going for jogs in mornings, after lunch and possibly before it's dark.

Aiya Quackform
January 7th, 2005, 10:07 PM
Interesting, Batesy. I'm up for a good Missingno fic, it'll be interesting to see how you develop everything! I look forward to your updates.

Didn't you post something like this at GHPF a long time ago, or was that someone else?

Jesus Freak Josh
January 7th, 2005, 10:23 PM
Interesting, Batesy. I'm up for a good Missingno fic, it'll be interesting to see how you develop everything! I look forward to your updates.

Didn't you post something like this at GHPF a long time ago, or was that someone else?
Closest thing I remember (And pretty much only fic) was the one about the dogs. Sure it wasn't someone else?
I'll try and get the next chapter up today since I'll be gone for a week starting tommorow afternoon (We have church so we have to go after) and won't be on very much.

Aiya Quackform
January 7th, 2005, 10:41 PM
Closest thing I remember (And pretty much only fic) was the one about the dogs. Sure it wasn't someone else?

Musta been somebody else, then. I just remember a Missingno fic awhile ago that was never continued after the first chapter or two.

Anyway, yours is much better than the other one. It had Missingno represented by a purple Rhydon as it appeared in Stadium. It was supposed to be a mystery as to what the purple Rhydon was, as I recall, but everyone knew that it was Missingno so the author discontinued the series.

Jesus Freak Josh
January 7th, 2005, 10:51 PM
Thanks Aiya! ^_^
I'll have the next MissingNo chapter up in about ten minutes!
And it has a reference to The Incredibles. Wonder if anyone will find it.

Jesus Freak Josh
January 7th, 2005, 11:10 PM
Chapter 2 is up!

Chapter 2: Risking Lives - Idiocy of The Elite Four

Deep in the wipqozn of the laboratory, metal started to twitch. Twitches everywhere in fact. If anyone were walking by and stopped to look closely at the wipqozn, they'd notice a bit of barcode - like material.
Pieces of metal started to fling up. Again, if anyone were to look, they'd notice a greyish auroa in a rectangular shape.
A few minutes later, all of the wipqozn flung up into the air. MissingNo had regained himself and was freeing himself from the remains.

A helicopter flew by, narrowly missing the wipqozn in mid air. A girl who was sitting in the passenger seat with a camera had heard about th laboratory explosion had come to check it out as she appeared to be a reporter. But now she was more excited with a bigger scoop - MissingNo. However, MissingNo did not agree. It knew what the helicopter was doing and was not happy.
The reporter had begun saying stuff into the camera. MissingNo knew it would be about itself and begun flinging the wipqozn at the camera. The helicopter weaved around in the air trying to dodge. Eventually a small bit of it smacked legs into the reporters head and she begun falling to the ground.

"Dragonite save her!" a voice said. This voice was followed by what sounded like a dragons cry.
The reporter landed on the big back of an oragish dragon with small wings and antannae. The Pokmon had a very large tail.
The reporter sat up and at her saviour who was right in front of her. Her saviour was a man who looked as he was in his early thirties. He was quite tall and had a cape which waved in the wind.

"Thanks Lance," said the reporter who knew his name. Lance was the leader of the Elite Four, a group of people that were assumed to be the strongest in the world.

"No problem young lady," said Lance. "I'm here to help. However, I could not save your camera..."

"That's okay!" said the reporter relieved to be alive. "By the way, you should be careful with that cape. It could get caught in something!"

"Why whatever do you -?" Lance was suddenly swept away out of sight in a blink of an eye. The reporter looked back. They were flying quicte close the a plane. Lance was out of sight. However, falling down slowly, the reporter saw some of his clothes and what appeared to be skin.

"Ewww," said the reporter with a disgusted look on her face. Dragonite cried out in pain and landed hard with a big "THUMP!"

The reporter hopped off and tried to calm Dragonite down. "It's okay, it's okay. It's not your fault!"

The reporter turned around to see a the barcode creature known as MissingNo.
"There's no one to save you now!" said the monster laughing hard.

"I wouldn't say that!" said a bold sounding voice. The reporter looked back to see a man with black, spikey hair and big muscles, an elderly lady that had a cane and red cloak and a young lady around the same age as Lance who had glasses and long blonde hair.

"Why wouldn't you?" asked MissingNo in its ugly voice.

"Because we are the Elite Four, the strongest trainers in the world!" said the young girl.

"So the remains of the Elite Four are challenging the soon to be over - ruler of the world are they?" asked MissingNo. "This shall be fun,"

Deep in MissingNos head, was knowledge of all of the Elite Four. Lorelei, Bruno and Agatha had all of their data in there. MissingNo predicted that Lorelei would start with Jynx, Bruno with Hitmonchan and Agatha with Golbat.

"Go Golbat!" yelled Agatha tossing a red and white ball into the air. In a white flash came a fairly big blue Pokmon with purple wings. It's wings were bigger than its body and it had a huge mouth with sharp fangs.

"Go Hitmonchan!" Bruno roared tossing a green and white ball in the air. In a blue flash came a brown Pokmon that was up to Bruno's chest in height. It had a purplish outfit-like thing and red boxing gloves.

"Go Dewgong!" said Lorelei calmly tossing a red and white ball into the air just like Agatha. In a white flash came a white Pokmon that looked like a big dugong.

"Just as I thought!" said MissingNo calmly. "Three Pokmon I can easily over power!"

"He's bluffing!" Bruno called out. "Come on let's attack him together!"

"I don't think so!" yelled MissingNo fireing three blue-ish beams at the three Pokmon. They were too quick to dodge. The beams exploded on contact and when the smoke cleared, all three Pokmon were out cold. The three trainers looked shocked as did the reporter. "Now to take care of all of you!"

***
'We interrupt this feature movie to bring you an emergency news bulliten!' the television chimed out through the building. Several people looked up including a woman with pink hair and nurse's clothes. 'It seems that the laboratory experiments have resulted in the death of the Elite Four champion, Lance, and the fleeing of the Elite Four. Currently the experiment assumed to be dead, is chasing the remainder of the Elite Four through the city of Blackthorn - ' everyone in the room gasped. They were near that area. Blackthorn was only about ten kilometers from the Pokmon Center they were in. 'The experiment is blasting everything in sight and it is the cause of the stupidity of our heroes. Well now that that's over, Back to the movie: "Babe Gets What's Coming To Him"'
The Nurse walked up to the television and turned it off.
"Trainers," she began, "please get your Pokmon and leave. I do not want to endanger any of you or your Pokmon. The safest place to go to is through Dark Cave back to Violet City!"

Four trainers stood up and walked to each other.
One trainer was a girl with long blonde hair, a tall and thin body. Her blue eyes accented her skirt. Everyone who was superficial (sp?) would have thought she was extremely hot except for one small detail - one small wart on her cheek.

The second was a short boy with brown hair and a bucket hat that was black. Just extremely dark black. He wore a blue shirt and blue shorts. The boy however, was slightly overweight and thought this as a discouragement to his journey. However, he enjoyed the fresh air and exercise.

The third was tall with blondish hair. He had freckles over his face and wore a blue bucket hat. He had black clothes. Pretty much reverse to the second.

The fourth was a black haired teenager with green shorts and a black shirt with a white stripe accross the middle.

"Should we go after it?" asked the second.
"I'm not sure Josh," replied the first. "I don't think our Pokmon are strong enough yet..."
The third remained quiet as the fourth one spoke. "I think Katrina's right, Josh. We aren't strong enough!"
"What about Matt?" replied Josh. "He hasn't said anything!"
"Ty and Katrina are right!" said Matt. "We aren't strong enough. Let's just head out and train for a while -"
"Can you four get out," said Nurse Joy patiently. "The Pokmon Center is now closed!"


Anyone notice any references?

Aiya Quackform
January 8th, 2005, 01:36 PM
Interesting, very interesting. You've definitely piqued my interest! Lots of stuff going on, it will be very interesting to see how you develop the plot and characters. I'd prefer not to do too much reviewing of your plot just yet, so you have more time to develop it.

I will, however, mention a few things about your writing style. Every time I see your fics or RP posts, Batesy, I'm amazed at how much you improve yourself. You're using description of both a physical and emotional nature! That's excellent. There are a few problems that I will point out. These aren't really grammatical problems, but aesthetic. Sometimes you interrupt the flow of the story with discription. You take time out of the plot to add in a paragraph or two of pure description. This is seen most notably when you describe the four trainers at the end of this chapter. It forms a complete break in the action. Next time, try to incorporate action with desc. This is not easy, and I myself have by no means mastered it. This basically adheres to the principle of "show, don't tell."

Instead of saying "He had a blue cape," write "his blue cap flowed behind him as he walked." This is a very basic example, but it gives you an idea.

Overall, Batesy, you're doing a great job. Your story is good, your grammar is good. You've basically just got to work on your writing style. If you're really interested in improving your writing skills there's a book called "Writer's Inc." that you can sometimes get through school, or maybe you could order it through a store. In any case, it is excellent at helping you develop your writing abilities.

EDIT: Ack! I knew I was forgetting something. I find some of your pop-culture references very amusing! The cape thing was very funny. However, that's pretty tricky territory. Again going back to maintaining the flow of the story, putting in spoofs or references like that can distract a reader from the plot. Unless the fic is strongly comedic overall, be very careful!! So far I think you're doing fine, just be careful. I do personally think, though, that the 'wisqodn' or whatever that word was went a bit too far. That isn't even a word and I don't think it fit in very well with the serious and dramatic scene you were trying to get across.

Jesus Freak Josh
January 8th, 2005, 01:39 PM
Thanks. Yeah I have that description problem.
And I'll have the next chapter up next week. I'm not gonna be home all week...

EDIT: I'll try and get the story flowing.
Actually the word is 'Wipqozn'. Say it with me 'Wip-Quo-Zen"
Yeah I think I'll stop using it now...