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Miyu-chan
January 23rd, 2005, 09:04 PM
To Save The Future













Author - Miyu-chan aka Evelina C.

Authors notes - This was a writing project from my freshmen year, written for a English and Physics joint project. Its about time travel, romance, etc Kinda weird, but I think its nice, actually after I re-read it did I write it? n_n; Title is clichd, I know. Another class mate even had the same title as me, but I think it suits the story.

Copyright of story belongs to Evelina C. aka Miyu-chan

---[START STORY]---

On the very top floor of a skyscraper a man stood there, surveying the view outside the window. However, even the spectacular view of gliding vehicles couldnt ease his troubled mind. His face brightened slightly, a plan taking place. It was risky, yes, but it was a plan anyways.

He strolled over to his desk and pushed a button on it.

Kyler Degas, please report to the top floor at once. he said briskly into a receiver nearby.

A few minutes later, the man heard a knock at the door. Degas, coming in to report. said a slightly muffled voice.

Oh, please do come in. said the man pleasantly and settled himself in the chair in front of his desk. After saying this, the wooden door creaked open, and in stepped a handsome young man, his hair the color of freshly ground coffee, his eyes the color of fir trees. He was quite young, looking about to be in his late teenage years or his early twenties. Contrasted to the man in front of him, they were polar opposites in terms of looks.

You called me? he said abruptly, seating himself in a chair across the elder.

Yes I did, Degas. he said. As you might know, these years have been horrible. Theres a current world war going on, California and New York City are flooded, and terrorist attacks are a daily element of life, he said, pausing for breath. and thats not even all of it. he said sadly, his glasses reflecting the sorrow in his eyes. He took a deep breath before continuing. And it pains me the most because, I, being a leader of our country, can do nothing to stop it. He finished, folding his hands in his lap.

Yes, I know. Kyler replied, And your point is? he said, motioning with his hand.

There is a way to prevent this. I am talking about, at this point, he paused to look around to check if there was anyone else there before lowering his voice down to a whisper. Time Traveling. He finished dramatically.

Kyler leaped out of his chair, knocking it to the floor in the process. WHAT?! he said, finding it hard to believe. You mean that we are going use that instable Code: 4209135?! he said much more louder than his previous calmer voice.

The older man fidgeted nervously in his seat, Err Yes, its risky, I know but all we really have to do is go back to 1955 and eliminate a girl called Margaret Garret

Kyler cut off his explanation. Its not just risky! Its dangerous. He said, growling the last word.

But we dont have any other solutions. The older man said calmly. Then do tell me, what other solutions can you think of? How about declaring war? Or higher taxes? he listed a lot more possibilities, while Kyler stared into space. But they wont work. Trust me. He said, leaning over to stare Kyler in the eyes.

Kyler held his gaze for a while, but then he broke away, admitting defeat. Okay, you win he said in a tired voice. But just one question

The older man, sat back down, happy at winning the battle. Fire away Kyler!

Kyler sighed before asking, Who is going to perform the task? he said, his body feeling with dread as the words left his lips.

The older man slowly raised his head, refusing to look him in the eye for some strange reason. He seemed to be wagering an internal battle with himself before looking at Kyler, pain in his eyes. Its so hard to tell you this, Kyler he said softly, losing his former cheeriness. But Ive chosen you. You are the One. he finished.

Wh- What? I I cant be! Kyler sputtered. This is a highly dangerous mission! Paradoxes could happen!

Yes, but you are the only person that is capable of performing the task. If you wont go with us willingly, then well take you by force. after saying this, he snapped his fingers, and out appeared three heavily built bodyguards.

The last thing Kyler remembered was three dark shapes hovering above him, and a great pain in his skull.





Eighteen year old Margaret Garret was walking home from her job as a waitress in a drive in theater. It wasnt too bad, sometimes she could sneak a peek at the movie they were playing. But the bad side is that when her job was over, it was usually very late, and the streets were very deserted Margaret kept having the feeling that something was lurking in the shadows

Just then, a huge crash sounded in the darkest of alleyways, causing Margarets soul to leap out of her skin

Me and my carried away imagination! she scolded herself. Still, she found her feet moving there, as if they had a soul of their own, carrying her closer and closer to the dark alleyway. When she saw what had caused the crash, she could hardly believe her eyes.

Oh my God she murmured, looking down at the man sprawled down on top of several garbage cans. The man was quite attractive, if you ignored the chicken bones on his shirt and banana peel on his hair. There was also a bloody lump on his head.

No wonder hes lying in a dark alley Margaret mumbled to herself. Now, what to do with him? Leave him here? Nah, maybe the people who were trying to kill him will come back Or drag him home? Hmm that may arouse some unwanted questions, but then again, my parents are away on a vacation she mused over the solution, before deciding to take him to her home, which was thankfully two blocks away. Then she dragged him onto the guest rooms bed, and started tending to his wounds.





The first thing he remembered feeling was something wet and warm on his head. He tried to open his eyes to see where he was, and whos hand was on his forehead, but all he could make out was a blurry outline of a girl with blond hair, he squinted his eyes, trying to make out more of the image, but the girl leaned closer to him.

Rest youre tired she said, her voice as warm as her deep, honey colored eyes.

But - he started to say.

Rest. she said firmly.

Defeated, he laid back on the pillow, trying to fall into sleep again. He was having this bizarre dream, where he was time traveling. But troubled thoughts kept floating into his mind.

Where am I? Who is she? he thought, and he realized something else too. Who am I?

Jolted awake by this new thought, he sat straight up in the bed, the towel from his head falling in his lap. Where am I? he asked the girl, wide-eyed.

The girl seemed a bit shocked at his sudden outburst. This is my house, I found you knocked out and I was afraid that the person who beat you up would come back and make you look even worse youve been sleeping for a night already, now its morning she said, trailing down to look at her wringing hands in her lap.

The person who beat me up? he repeated as he tried to remember what had happened before he opened his eyes. He came up with a blank white space in his head. He tried to remember his name. Nothing. His face? Nothing. He couldnt remember anything, except for the girls beautiful honey-colored eyes, which were burned into his soul.

I dont think I was fighting. he confessed, unsure about how he actually knew that. But maybe you should have left me alone. he said softly.

I cant do that! the girl said in horror. What would you do if you found someone sprawled in an alleyway, half-dead?!

I dont know he said, meaning the words truthfully.

As another long, awkward moment of silence passed between them, the girl offered her hand and said, Im Margaret Garret, and you are?

He stared at her hand, unsure at what she was doing. Its a handshake a little voice reminded him in his head. He shook her hand. Nice to meet you, Margaret. Margaret Garret That name sounds really familiar

And you are? she asked, beckoning with her hand.

He looked down and said, I dont remember.





I dont remember. the mysterious stranger replied.

Margaret stared at him, clearly in shock. What do you mean, you cant remember? she asked him carefully.

I dont know I just dont remember my name, my face, how old am I, and my past I just cant remember. he replied in a frustrated voice.

Well, of you cant remember your name, I still have to call you something, wont I? she said, thinking about what she should call him. How about Joe? she said, suddenly thinking about the nearby diner with the same name.

Joe he repeated. I like it he said, a smile slowly coming to his face.

Margaret stared at him in wonder, marveling about miracles a smile could do to a persons face And a persons heart. You know, you look much better when you smile. she commented.

Thank you. he said politely, his former smile turning to a stiffly put on smile. I hope you won find me strange, but what year is it? he said, looking around the room, glancing strangely at the wooden grandfather clock down the hallway.

Its 1955, why youd ask? she said, glancing at him for a brief moment before putting on her coat.

Nothing he said, looking down at the bed with a particular expression on his face.

Margaret sighed, this guy sure was strange, looking at common household items like he never saw them before. Are you okay? she said, Maybe youd like to go to the drugstore with me, I was going to buy a few bandages she offered.

Joe nodded, Id love to. he said politely as he lifted himself out of the bed gingerly, wincing a bit when his muscles stretched.

Margaret noticed his wince and said worriedly, Are you sure? I can always go by myself

Nah, Im feeling fine. he said, brushing off her concern as he put on his jacket.

Okay then off we go! Margaret said happily.





On the way to the store, Margaret kept noticing Joe glancing at the streetlights, the fire extinguishers, and the sidewalk with wonder and amazement in his eyes.

Hes a strange one all right. she thought inwardly.

She opened the door, bells chiming to announce their entrance. Joe wandered off into the depths of the store, studying the various objects in the store.

Margaret shook her head, He must have been a very curious person. she thought as she walked over to the counter.

Margaret Garret! the storekeeper exclaimed merrily, What a surprise to see you here!

Good morning, Mr. Esters. Margaret said politely. Im looking for bandages, are any in stock? she asked.

Yes, theyre in the third aisle. He said, pointing over as he spoke. Have a nice day, Margaret. he said, cheerfully.

Same to you, Mr. Esters. she replied, smiling.

As Margaret was looking at the various kinds of bandages on the shelf, someone tapped her back.

Guess who? a female voice said happily.

Betty! Margaret exclaimed, hugging her childhood friend. Its been a long time since I saw you! she said happily.

Betsy giggled, Well, yes Ive been busy looking for cute guys. Speaking of cute guys, did you see that guy in the other aisle? Green eyes, brown hair Hes quite a catch she said, looking at the unsuspecting Joe lovingly.

Margaret smiled, Oh you mean Joe? she said slyly. I met him in a dark alley last night. she said teasingly.

Oh my God! Betsy gasped. Margaret Garret, you are the luckiest girl on Earth. she said enviously.

Oh, I wouldnt put it that way Margaret trailed off, blushing a deep crimson. Hes just someone I met she said, suddenly realizing that she didnt know much about the mysterious Joe. But she did know that she wanted to learn more about him.

Two aisles over, Joe was looking at a package of cotton swabs, reading the label over and over again. This is really getting frustrating What cant I remember anything? he thought to himself. A bit of info would pop into his mind once in a while, but when he tried to fit them into a puzzle, they wont fit. All they did was to make his life more confusing. But there was one particular fact about him, everything in this world was interesting and old He didnt know how he got the feeling, but he felt like he didnt belong in this time. Suddenly an image appeared in his minds eye.

Its so hard to tell you this, Kyler a man in his mid 40s said softly. But Ive chosen you. You are the One. he finished.

As the image finished, his head was filled was filled with a searing pain. Kyler put his hand to his forehead, trying to ease the pain, falling to the floor in the process.

At this moment, Margaret rushed to see what the commotion was, Joe! she cried, Joe, are you okay? she asked worriedly, kneeling down beside him.

Kyler looked up weakly at her, bright green eyes filled with pain. It all came rushing back to him now. He knew what he was here for. He knew what he had to do. He knew that he couldnt do it, for the girl has stolen his heart. Margaret, I - but before he could finish the sentence, he blacked out.







With the help of Mr. Esters and Betsy, Margaret managed to drag Joe back to the guest bedroom. Surprisingly, they managed to avoid any awkward questions, such as why he was sleeping in her guest bedroom in the first place. Margaret was forever thankful for that. She sat at the side of the bed, looking at his sleeping face, distorted with pain. She wondered what was tormenting him in his dreams to casue him such pain.

Inside, Kyler was fighting an internal battle with himselfHe was sitting in a little stool in a blank, white room.

Why does this have to happen? he asked himself, Why her, such a nice charming girl?

A small voice in the back of his head replied, This is the way it was meant to be, you should go perform your duty, seeing that shes sitting right next to you. Theres a nice sharp blade in your pocket. it finished in a sing-song voice.

Shut up! he exclaimed, frustrated. Youre not me, you dont know how it feels to meet a girl who turns your hearts into doing cartwheels.

Thats where youre wrong, dear Kyler. I am you. Im the nasty little thought that resides deep in your mind. Plaguing you with your every living second it said, as it materialized into a carbon copy of himself, circling his sitting form with a sneer on its face. How about this, dear Kyler it continued If you feel so guilty then after you murder the girl, you should kill yourself. it sneered in his face.

Kylers eyes widened in shock. No, I cant do that. I cant face her in the afterlife if I did. he mumbled, burying his face in his hands.

Oh But you should Kyler After all, it was the presidents orders it taunted him as it vanished just as quickly as it came.

As Kyler sat there, torn between fulfilling his duty and following his heart, his deceased mothers words floated into his mind.

Do what you think is for the best, Kyler she said, smiling.

And I will. he said aloud, as the white room disappeared replacing it with Margarets worried face.

Youre awake! she said happily, hugging him as she forgot all composure. Kyler smiled softly at her actions.

Yes, I am. he said, laughing. But first, he started, looking serious. I have something to tell you.

As Kyler told her his story, she listened carefully. When he got to the point where he was supposed to go to the past to murder her, she gasped, looking horrified.

When he finished, the lights of daybreak was spreading through the window.

So what are you planning to do to me? Margaret asked cautiously.

Kyler looked into her eyes and said, You are the most wonderful young woman Ive ever met. I plan to stay here and be better acquainted with you. he said softly as he kissed her.

The kiss that Kyler gave her saved the future, but they still didnt know their future. But Margaret and Kyler were sure that it was filled with many wonderful things to come.

---[END STORY]---

Pidgeot500
January 23rd, 2005, 09:13 PM
Very nice, very well-written! The fast pace works for it, I think.

Youko Kurama
January 23rd, 2005, 09:20 PM
very good. It was really well written, and the fact that he had lost his memory was a nice touch.
It was good, and I'm sad it ended so quickly....XD

Miyu-chan
January 24th, 2005, 04:11 PM
Thank you both~ =3 It's quick? well... *reads* Yes it is, but it's longer than anything I've ever written. xD;

Kyosuke
January 24th, 2005, 06:05 PM
Yes Miyu-chan excellent one-shot, it moved swiftly at a fast rate without taking too much time to get through diffrent scenes.

But the downfall of moving so fast to diffrent situations, is that its hard to get a proper feel of the story, and whats going on. I'm just talking in general,so don't take me so seriously ^^.

I really enjoyed the part where Kyler was having an internal conflict in his dream, nicely done XD.

Kelsey
January 29th, 2005, 06:08 PM
On the very top floor of a skyscraper a man stood there, surveying the view outside the window. However, even the spectacular view of gliding vehicles couldnt ease his troubled mind. His face brightened slightly, a plan taking place. It was risky, yes, but it was a plan anyways.

He strolled over to his desk and pushed a button on it.

Kyler Degas, please report to the top floor at once. he said briskly into a receiver nearby.

A few minutes later, the man heard the door knock. Degas, coming in to report. said a slightly muffled voice.

Oh, please do come in. said the man pleasantly and settled himself in the chair in front of his desk. After saying thus(this), the wooden door creaked open, and in stepped a handsome young man, his hair the color of freshly ground coffee, his eyes the color of fir trees. He was quite young, looking about to be in his late teenage years or his early twenties. Contrasted to the man in front of him, they were polar opposites in terms of looks.

You called me? he said abruptly, seating himself in a chair across the elder.

Yes I did, Degas. he said. As you might know, these years have been horrible. Theres a current world war going on, California and New York City are flooded, and terrorist attacks are a daily element of life, he said, pausing for breath. and thats not even all of it. he said sadly, his glasses reflecting the sorrow in his eyes. He took a deep breath before continuing. And it pains me the most because, I, being a leader of our country, can do nothing to stop it. He finished, folding his hands in his lap.

Yes, I know. Kyler replied, And your point is? he said, mentioning with his hand.

There is a way to prevent this. I am talking about, at this point, he paused to look around to check if there was anyone else there before lowering his voice down to a whisper. Time Traveling. He finished dramatically.

Kyler leaped out of his chair, knocking it to the floor in the process. WHAT?! he said, finding it hard to believe. You mean that we are going use that instable Code: 4209135?! he said much more louder than his previous calmer voice.

The older man fidgeted nervously in his seat, Err Yes, its risky, I know but all we really have to do is go back to 1955 and eliminate a girl called Margaret Garret

Kyler cut off his explanation. Its not just risky! Its dangerous. He said, growling the last word.

But we dont have any other solutions. The older man said calmly. Then do tell me, what other solutions can you think of? How about declaring war? Or higher taxes? he listed a lot more possibilities, while Kyler stared into space. But they wont work. Trust me. He said, leaning over to stare Kyler in the eyes.

Kyler held his gaze for a while, but then he broke away, admitting defeat. Okay, you win he said in a tired voice. But just one question

The older man, sat back down, happy at winning the battle. Fire away Kyler!

Kyler sighed before asking, Who is going to perform the task? he said, his body feeling with dread as the words left his lips.

The older man slowly raised his head, refusing to look him in the eye for some strange reason. He seemed to be wagering an internal battle with himself before looking at Kyler, pain in his eyes. Its so hard to tell you this, Kyler he said softly, losing his former cheeriness. But Ive chosen you. You are the One. he finished.

Wh- What? I I cant be! Kyler sputtered. This is a highly dangerous mission! Paradoxes could happen!

Yes, but you are the only person that is capable of performing the task. If you wont go with us willingly, then well take you by force. after saying thus(this), he snapped his fingers, and out appeared three heavily built bodyguards.

The last thing Kyler remembered was three dark shapes hovering above him, and a great pain in his skull.





Eighteen year old Margaret Garret was walking home from her job as a waitress in a drive in theater. It wasnt too bad, sometimes she could sneak a peek at the movie they were playing. But the bad side is that when her job was over, it was usually very late, and the streets were very deserted Margaret kept having the feeling that something was lurking in the shadows

Just then, a huge crash sounded in the darkest of alleyways, causing Margarets soul to leap out of her skin

Me and my carried away imagination! she scolded herself. Still, she found her feet moving there, as if they had a soul of their own, carrying her closer and closer to the dark alleyway. When she saw what had caused the crash, she could hardly believe her eyes.

Oh my God she murmured, looking down at the man sprawled down on top of several garbage cans. The man was quite attractive, if you ignored the chicken bones on his shirt and banana peel on his hair. There was also a bloody lump on his head.

No wonder hes lying in a dark alley Margaret mumbled to herself. Now, what to do with him? Leave him here? Nah, maybe the people who were trying to kill him will come back Or drag him home? Hmm that may arouse some unwanted questions, but then again, my parents are away on a vacation she mused over the solution, before deciding to take him to her home, which was thankfully two blocks away. Then she dragged him onto the guest rooms bed, and started tending to his wounds.





The first thing he remembered feeling was something wet and warm on his head. He tried to open his eyes to see where he was, and whos hand was on his forehead, but all he could make out was a blurry outline of a girl with blond hair, he squinted his eyes, trying to make out more of the image, but the girl leaned closer to him.

Rest youre tired she said, her voice as warm as her deep, honey colored eyes.

But - he started to say.

Rest. she said firmly.

Defeated, he laid back on the pillow, trying to fall into sleep again. He was having this bizarre dream, where he was time traveling. But troubled thoughts kept floating into his mind.

Where am I? Who is she? he thought, and he realized something else too. Who am I?

Jolted awake by this new thought, he sat straight up in the bed, the towel from his head falling in his lap. Where am I? he asked the girl, wide-eyed.

The girl seemed a bit shocked at his sudden outburst. This is my house, I found you knocked out and I was afraid that the person who beat you up would come back and make you look even worse youve been sleeping for a night already, now its morning she said, trailing down to look at her wringing hands in her lap.

The person who beat me up? he repeated as he tried to remember what had happened before he opened his eyes. He came up with a blank white space in his head. He tried to remember his name. Nothing. His face? Nothing. He couldnt remember anything, except for the girls beautiful honey-colored eyes, which were burned into his soul.

I dont think I was fighting. he confessed, unsure about how he actually knew that. But maybe you should have left me alone. he said softly.

I cant do that! the girl said in horror. What would you do if you found someone sprawled in an alleyway, half-dead?!

I dont know he said, meaning the words truthfully.

As another long, awkward moment of silence passed between them, the girl offered her hand and said, Im Margaret Garret, and you are?

He stared at her hand, unsure at what she was doing. Its a handshake a little voice reminded him in his head. He shook her hand. Nice to meet you, Margaret. Margaret Garret That name sounds really familiar

And you are? she asked, beckoning with her hand.

He looked down and said, I dont remember.





I dont remember. the mysterious stranger replied.

Margaret stared at him, clearly in shock. What do you mean, you cant remember? she asked him carefully.

I dont know I just dont remember my name, my face, how old am I, and my past I just cant remember. he replied in a frustrated voice.

Well, of you cant remember your name, I still have to call you something, wont I? she said, thinking about what she should call him. How about Joe? she said, suddenly thinking about the nearby diner with the same name.

Joe he repeated. I like it he said, a smile slowly coming to his face.

Margaret stared at him in wonder, marveling about miracles a smile could do to a persons face And a persons heart. You know, you look much better when you smile. she commented.

Thank you. he said politely, his former smile turning to a stiffly put on smile. I hope you won find me strange, but what year is it? he said, looking around the room, glancing strangely at the wooden grandfather clock down the hallway.

Its 1955, why youd ask? she said, glancing at him for a brief moment before putting on her coat.

Nothing he said, looking down at the bed with a particular expression on his face.

Margaret sighed, this guy sure was strange, looking at common household items like he never saw them before. Are you okay? she said, Maybe youd like to go to the drugstore with me, I was going to buy a few bandages she offered.

Joe nodded, Id love to. he said politely as he lifted himself out of the bed gingerly, wincing a bit when his muscles stretched.

Margaret noticed his wince and said worriedly, Are you sure? I can always go by myself

Nah, Im feeling fine. he said, brushing off her concern as he put on his jacket.

Okay then off we go! Margaret said happily.





On the way to the store, Margaret kept noticing Joe glancing at the streetlights, the fire extinguishers, and the sidewalk with wonder and amazement in his eyes.

Hes a strange one alright(all right). she thought inwardly.

She opened the door, bells chiming to announce their entrance. Joe wandered off into the depths of the store, studying the various objects in the store.

Margaret shook her head, He must have been a very curious person. she thought as she walked over to the counter.

Margaret Garret! the storekeeper exclaimed merrily, What a surprise to see you here!

Good morning, Mr. Esters. Margaret said politely. Im looking for bandages, are any in stock? she asked.

Yes, theyre in the third aisle. He said, pointing over as he spoke. Have a nice day, Margaret. he said, cheerfully.

Same to you, Mr. Esters. she replied, smiling.

As Margaret was looking at the various kinds of bandages on the shelf, someone tapped her back.

Guess who? a female voice said happily.

Betty! Margaret exclaimed, hugging her childhood friend. Its been a long time since I saw you! she said happily.

Betsy giggled, Well, yes Ive been busy looking for cute guys. Speaking of cute guys, did you see that guy in the other aisle? Green eyes, brown hair Hes quite a catch she said, looking at the unsuspecting Joe lovingly.

Margaret smiled, Oh you mean Joe? she said slyly. I met him in a dark alley last night. she said teasingly.

Oh my God! Betsy gasped. Margaret Garret, you are the luckiest girl on Earth. she said enviously.

Oh, I wouldnt put it that way Margaret trailed off, blushing a deep crimson. Hes just someone I met she said, suddenly realizing that she didnt know much about the mysterious Joe. But she did know that she wanted to learn more about him.

Two aisles over, Joe was looking at a package of cotton swabs, reading the label over and over again. This is really getting frustrating What cant I remember anything? he thought to himself. A bit of info would pop into his mind once in a while, but when he tried to fit them into a puzzle, they wont fit. All they did was to make his life more confusing. But there was one particular fact about him, everything in this world was interesting and old He didnt know how he got the feeling, but he felt like he didnt belong in this time. Suddenly an image appeared in his minds eye.

Its so hard to tell you this, Kyler a man in his mid 40s said softly. But Ive chosen you. You are the One. he finished.

As the image finished, his head was filled was filled with a searing pain. Kyler put his hand to his forehead, trying to ease the pain, falling to the floor in the process.

At this moment, Margaret rushed to see what the commotion was, Joe! she cried, Joe, are you okay? she asked worriedly, kneeling down beside him.

Kyler looked up weakly at her, bright green eyes filled with pain. It all came rushing back to him now. He knew what he was here for. He knew what he had to do. He knew that he couldnt do it, for the girl has stolen his heart. Margaret, I - but before he could finish the sentence, he blacked out.







With the help of Mr. Esters and Betsy, Margaret managed to drag Joe back to the guest bedroom. Surprisingly, they managed to avoid any awkward questions, such as why he was sleeping in her guest bedroom in the first place. Margaret was forever thankful for that. She sat at the side of the bed, looking at his sleeping face, distorted with pain. She wondered what was tormenting him in his dreams to casue him such pain.

Inside, Kyler was fighting an internal battle with himselfHe was sitting in a little stool in a blank, white room.

Why does this have to happen? he asked himself, Why her, such a nice charming girl?

A small voice in the back of his head replied, This is the way it was meant to be, you should go perform your duty, seeing that shes sitting right next to you. Theres a nice sharp blade in your pocket. it finished in a sing-song voice.

Shut up! he exclaimed, frustrated. Youre not me, you dont know how it feels to meet a girl who turns your hearts into doing cartwheels.

Thats where youre wrong, dear Kyler. I am you. Im the nasty little thought that resides deep in your mind. Plaguing you with your every living second it said, as it materialized into a carbon copy of himself, circling his sitting form with a sneer on its face. How about this, dear Kyler it continued If you feel so guilty then after you murder the girl, you should kill yourself. it sneered in his face.

Kylers eyes widened in shock. No, I cant do that. I cant face her in the afterlife if I did. he mumbled, burying his face in his hands.

Oh But you should Kyler After all, it was the presidents orders it taunted him as it vanished just as quickly as it came.

As Kyler sat there, torn between fulfilling his duty and following his heart, his deceased mothers words floated into his mind.

Do what you think is for the best, Kyler she said, smiling.

And I will. he said aloud, as the white room disappeared replacing it with Margarets worried face.

Youre awake! she said happily, hugging him as she forgot all composure. Kyler smiled softly at her actions.

Yes, I am. he said, laughing. But first, he started, looking serious. I have something to tell you.

As Kyler told her his story, she listened carefully. When he got to the point where he was supposed to go to the past to murder her, she gasped, looking horrified.

When he finished, the lights of daybreak was spreading through the window.

So what are you planning to do to me? Margaret asked cautiously.

Kyler looked into her eyes and said, You are the most wonderful young woman Ive ever met. I plan to stay here and be better acquainted with you. he said softly as he kissed her.

The kiss that Kyler gave her saved the future, but they still didnt know their future. But Margaret and Kyler were sure that it was filled with many wonderful things to come.


Wow, this story was really interesting. The fast pace was good, considering it was a short stroy. ^___^

First, I have a quick question for you. This sentence doesn't make much sense: "A few minutes later, the man heard the door knock." Now, I don't believe a door "knocks". XD Perhaps a more suitable way to say this would be "A few minutes later, the man heard a knock at the door." ^^

Secondly, I have another problem with a sentence further down the line. "Yes, I know. Kyler replied, And your point is? he said, mentioning with his hand." The 'mentioning' doesn't really make sense. I'd suggest you try using motioning instead. ^o^

Next, here are the spelling errors I spotted, I also highlighted them above:
thus = this
alright = all right (many people make this same mistake, but 'all right' is supposed to be two separate words)
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Well, this story gave me the feeling of James Bond, where he often has to decide on love and his job - I also thought of the movie Back to the Future; where the boy meets a crazed old man with a time machine, and they must go back in time to correct the future. ^^ I loved this short story, it had a great plot. Maybe you should consider making it into a real fan fic with more chapters, that would be shweet. ^___^

I have to say, my favorite part was where Margaret held out her hand for Kyler to shake it. Then it seems as though his mind is saying "It's a hand shake, stupid." XD

Keep up the great work Miyu! I hope my advise will be useful for you. ^^

~Kelsey

Miyu-chan
January 31st, 2005, 10:16 PM
Thank you so much Kelsey! n___n

It was really helpful~ =3 (I would have givin you rep, but I need to spread some more rep... >.>; )

But thanks~! =D

Kelsey
February 1st, 2005, 07:38 AM
No problem Miyu! Helping people with writing is something I do best. ^_~ I hope my advice will be useful to you. ^___^ Keep up the great work! ^o^

~Kelsey