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KLS
January 30th, 2005, 11:04 AM
Eternal Curse

A knife in the heart
a curse that shatters me to shards
pieces that creates me
are scattered into the sky


I see the 2 paths I can take
one that will cause people to shake
the other that will lead me to peace
painfully saved or tranquilly ****ed <---------- (d-a-m-n-e-d)


whichever I choose the other is getting away
to prevent this pain and make it sway
I will take my leave and cause no harm
but youll always be in my heart

haha, i intended to put mixed messages here, see if you can find the true inner meaning

Shadow_of_Light
January 30th, 2005, 11:06 AM
uhh....

that was pretty good....

I liked it...

Kelsey
January 30th, 2005, 11:15 AM
Eternal Curse

A knife in the heart
a curse that shatters me to shards
pieces that creates me
are scattered into the sky


I see the 2 paths I can take
one that will cause people to shake
the other that will lead me to peace
painfully saved or tranquilly ****ed <---------- (d-a-m-n-e-d)


whichever I choose the other is getting away
to prevent this pain and make it sway
I will take my leave and cause no harm
but youll always be in my heart

hehe, enjoy

Oooh, this one's deep. It's kind of confusing, but a good poem nonetheless. ^^

I have a problem with one of the lines: "pieces that creates me" doesn't make any sense really. Maybe you can change it to "pieces that created me" would make more sense. ^^

Also, in the first line of the second stanza, you have '2' as one of the words. In poetry, you should really write everything out. so change the '2' to 'two'. ^^

Well, this poem seems to suggest the theme of death. Once you die, the next destination is either Heaven or Hell. No one truly knows how it is decided as to which place you'll end up in, but your poem makes it seem as if the person is given a choice.

It seems as though the person has done the requirements in his life to go to either Hell or Heaven. the line "Painfully saved, or tranquilly ****ed" seems to say you can enter heaven, which shall save your soul from its sins, but the journey to get there shall be most unpleasant.

Or, the person can enter Hell, a most devious and malicious place which no human wishes to enter. Your soul will be forever one of the ****ed if you choose this destination, but the journey there shall not be nearly as dreadful as the way to heaven.

Whether or not that was your true meaning, it's what I percieved it as. Awsome poem yet again KLS, keep up the great work. ^^

~Kelsey

KLS
January 30th, 2005, 11:20 AM
ummm, well your kinda right but still, no cigar.

Kelsey
January 30th, 2005, 11:26 AM
Well, as I've said before to many other people, poetry doesn't have to have one way to look at it. Everyone has their own opinions about a certain piece of writing. Even though my perception about your poem wasn't how you saw it, it doesn't mean my answer's wrong. ^_________^ Even though my meaning didn't match yours, I still found this poem to be very inspiring. ^^

~Kelsey

Kyosuke
January 30th, 2005, 04:44 PM
Its hard to really describe this poem into proper words, because the message seems to be very complex espeically with the ending when you mention, "I will take my leave and cause no harm
but youll always be in my heart".

I'll give it a shot though to its though meaning though XD:

From the beginning when you put, "A knife in the heart" it sort of signifies that you were in a relationship that ended, and the heart break represents a "knife in the heart". And now, your now faced to go on with you're life or be evil, but in the end you decide to not go to the evil side XD, and just be normal.

It might be wrong or it might be right, but it was still an enjoyable read, and the complex element added to it, makes it a whole lot better.

KLS
January 30th, 2005, 05:57 PM
Its hard to really describe this poem into proper words, because the message seems to be very complex espeically with the ending when you mention, "I will take my leave and cause no harm
but youll always be in my heart".

I'll give it a shot though to its though meaning though XD:

From the beginning when you put, "A knife in the heart" it sort of signifies that you were in a relationship that ended, and the heart break represents a "knife in the heart". And now, your now faced to go on with you're life or be evil, but in the end you decide to not go to the evil side XD, and just be normal.

It might be wrong or it might be right, but it was still an enjoyable read, and the complex element added to it, makes it a whole lot better.

that was the "correct" meaning
but like kelsey said we all will have different interpretations and i'm thankful that you guys actually guessed a meaning out of my poem.