View Full Version : Assertiveness

January 22nd, 2013, 11:53 AM
How assertive are you? How do you assert yourself? Do you often find you end up being passive or aggressive, or passive-aggressive, when you're trying to be assertive? Do you tend to avoid asserting yourself to turn situations away from potential conflict? When was the last time you didn't assert yourself, but you wish you had? Why didn't you?

January 22nd, 2013, 11:58 AM
It depends. If I'm with someone I know really well, I tend to be somewhat agressive. Otherwise, I'm pretty passive with my responses.

Sweets Witch
January 22nd, 2013, 12:37 PM
I have no reason to show any aggression since I'm surrounded by old people all day, so I remain pretty passive. The only time I'm aggressive is when I'm with my friends because they're genuinely idiots and they think I'm joking but I'm not.

January 22nd, 2013, 1:02 PM
I am almost never assertive. It's like I was programmed by my family to be submissive. I've been trying to work on it, but I don't seem to commonly budge.

January 23rd, 2013, 9:54 AM
Can I say passively assertive? I'm pretty good about confronting without offending because I'm very conscious about other people's feelings while keeping my own in mind. I base how I behave toward others on how I feel about behavior toward me. When it feels like the best response I'll submit to avoid potential conflict, but I'm generally not a pushover. I feel I'm as reasonable as a person can be when it comes to communication tactics. I may have the wrong impression of myself, though.

January 24th, 2013, 6:41 PM
I'm not very assertive. I just kinda go with the flow.

January 24th, 2013, 6:58 PM
I generally just go along with whatever is happening. I don't care much about being "in charge". Though it's another matter if I don't trust whoever is in charge, in which case I will mentally question their every move.

January 25th, 2013, 12:44 PM
I'm not very assertive in multiple people situations because I try to be polite, to be honest. I try and brush things off, but if someone's been egging me on, I'll eventually stand up for myself or speak my mind about it.

Then again being assertive can mean different things. I can be pretty assertive when it comes to making decisions on what to do that day and etc. :3 Take the reins!

January 25th, 2013, 1:15 PM
I wish I could be assertive then I could get out of stuff people want me to do for them. I am not very good at being assertive if you can tell.

January 27th, 2013, 2:25 PM
If I have to I can be.
The thing about being assertive though is that different people take it different ways.
It's very easy to offend someone by trying to be assertive, then of course there are others who will admire you for it.

January 27th, 2013, 2:51 PM
I am no good in asserting people, however I always give in to other's people assertiveness, that's cos I am too kind and soft-hearted and want to stop the conflict. That's for being Mr Nice Guy.

Shining Raichu
January 28th, 2013, 3:15 AM
I remember in primary school they showed us this chart that showed the three different ways people approach conflict. There was aggressive, submissive and assertive. Aggressive and submissive were bad while assertive was the best as it dealt with things openly and honestly without escalating anything.

Reading through it, I realised I fell into the submissive category. When something bothers me, I don't assert myself. I just essentially sit there and take it until I can't anymore and then I explode and say things I don't mean.

January 28th, 2013, 5:24 PM
This is totally unrelated but I just remembered that there is a word Ito negatively describe everyone, for example, a passive-aggressive person, a pedantic person, a cynical person. You can try and try and try to never be judged but no matter what, it will happen because it's impossible not to be judged with all of these traits people inevitably possess.

Umm...I am assertive with most people. People I am nervous around tend to see my non-assertive side however :P
I wish I could have been more assertive with the crush I had in 2012. I was always so stupidly quiet around her. She did made my tummy jump whenever I saw her though, so I'm not going to get annoyed with myself.
I could spend all day at this, there have been moments today in which I wish I had been more assertive. That's just life ehh. :P

January 28th, 2013, 11:44 PM
I'll be very awkward if I'm assertive. So I'd always control my anger.

Noah Ridgewood
January 29th, 2013, 2:02 AM
The problem I have, particularly offline, is that I'm very, very laid back. I go with the flow, which is something that I consider to be a great strength because I'm able to adapt to changes quickly, but something I consider to be a great flaw as well, because I come across as someone that people can easily push over, simply because I don't really care either which way and I don't generally go out of my way to show that I do. I'm assertive when I feel the need to be, which often comes in the form of passive-aggression or minimal aggression, depending on who I'm being assertive against(?). I don't have a problem with conflict at all, but one would probably think that I would prefer to avoid it. It takes a lot to get me to the point where I actually care about something like that. Generally, I'm a mellow person who is pretty indifferent when I'm asked to do something, and when most people tend to assert themselves. If I feel the urge to assert myself, I do.

February 1st, 2013, 10:37 PM
Well I'm a pacifist, so I'm not really aggressive, though I will assert myself if necessary xD