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[Technya]
February 2nd, 2005, 05:03 PM
On the verge of falling into oblivion
I found sanctuary in a wonder
Drowning in tears and fears
I felt like the fallen souls
And for a minute thought myself to be one
I looked towards the Heavens waiting for an answer

Suddenly the cool nights wind whispered, Look above you.
As my eyes gazed where Heaven touched Earths soil
I saw the whites, grays and blues dancing with their sisters: stars and moon
As the wind blew no longer could I see the blue, only gray doom
For a minute the tears fell more
Then the wind whispered once more, Dont give up hope.

I gazed up at the Heavens for one last glance
There was still a chance
Through that thick gray doom
There was a spark
Then a smile invaded my sad face
The nights wind then said, now hear this, its not the end but a start.

I smiled overflowed with joy
And this time the tears werent of fears and pain
But of hope and strength to remove this stain

Kelsey
February 2nd, 2005, 06:32 PM
On the verge of falling into oblivion
I found sanctuary in a wonder
Drowning in tears and fears
I felt like the fallen souls
And for a minute thought myself to be one
I looked towards the Heavens waiting for an answer

Suddenly the cool nights wind whispered, Look above you.
As my eyes gazed where Heaven touched Earths soil
I saw the whites, grays and blues dancing with their sisters: stars and moon
As the wind blew no longer could I see the blue, only gray doom
For a minute the tears fell more
Then the wind whispered once more, Dont give up hope.

I gazed up at the Heavens for one last glance
There was still a chance
Through that thick gray doom
There was a spark
Then a smile invaded my sad face
The nights wind then said, now here this, its not the end but a start.

I smiled overflowed with joy
And this time the tears werent of fears and pain
But of hope and strength to remove this stain

This poem was very heartfelt, Shadow of Ash. ^_______^ The only spelling mistake I spotted was was in the second to last stanza. The word "here" should be "hear". ^^

This poem makes me think of someone going through depression. They feel as if they are not worthwhile and are just one of God's mistaken creations. They look to the sky and see nothing...at first.

Suddenly, they are filled with an overwhelming sense of hope. They again look to the sky to see that the gods are calling out to them, almost telling them to live on, and that their very being is a precious gift.

With a renewed soul, their life goes on. They feel full of hope and seem to have crawled out of the abyss which had kept them locked in. They realized that this was not he end...but the very beginning of life. ^_^

Great work Shadow of Ash, you truly have a great gift as a poet. I hope to see more works by you in the future. ^^

~Kelsey

[Technya]
February 2nd, 2005, 06:37 PM
Thanks Kelsey that means a lot and I'm really amazed at how you can see a poem's true meaning, not many people "get" the poems I write.

Psychotic_Demon
February 2nd, 2005, 06:42 PM
I understand it completely. I've been through a similar situation... Great job, Shadow or Ash, I hope to see more.

<[HaZaRdOuS_EnIgMa]>
February 2nd, 2005, 08:08 PM
i understand it too...very complex...your style is similar to the one i used in Drowning in reality/siren, and i like how you told a story with it, hace tres semanas que lei una poema mas bonita que esta

[Technya]
February 2nd, 2005, 08:11 PM
LOL thanks ^_^ This one is like a remake of one I did like ages ago. Tu espaol no es nada mal, que bien.

<[HaZaRdOuS_EnIgMa]>
February 2nd, 2005, 08:14 PM
XD i take spanish at school so even though my mom can speak it, sadly i can't without stuttering, i understand it very well though [is offtopic] either way, your poem is great [gives you a cookie] -_______-;

Kelsey
February 4th, 2005, 10:04 AM
Thanks Kelsey that means a lot and I'm really amazed at how you can see a poem's true meaning, not many people "get" the poems I write.

<3 Well, don't worry if not everyone is able to understand the true meaning of a poem, because everyone will have different views on a poem. No one is right, and no one is wrong, its just what you feel. ^o^ *glomps*

~Kelsey