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Demonic Angel
February 11th, 2005, 06:31 AM
I wrote this a while ago, and since Kylie posted some of her poetry I decided to post some of mine.
It's probably filled with grammar mistakes and shtuff... and it's crap. XD
Anyway, feast your eyes on crapness! o.o;;;


Why do you smile when you wanna break down and cry?
Why do you live when you just wanna die?
Maybe you still feel some kind of hope
Maybe you'll learn to eventually cope

Or maybe you'll fail, die trying and fall
All you want is to show the world you can stand tall
But do they see you? Do they even look at you?
They just walk by, keep on looking through

No matter what you try to be, no matter what you want to be
No one's ever gonna turn around and see
So live on in your broken world of prejudice and pain
Keep living on and wonder what you're hoping to gain

In this world there is no hope, no love
Turned black by mankind's hate is your white dove
Fallen now are the angels to whom once we prayed
And now they start to hate this world they made

So you begin to think if they can ever undo these mistakes
But just some hope and love is all that it takes
They created this destruction, but you know how to take it away
Maybe they'll see, maybe they'll notice you one day

In the meantime, just keep on walking
Keep on striving and hope not to start falling
Life is a game that we all must strive to win
They don't care how, they don't care to sin

They'll push you to the ground, break your heart
You just have to rise up and tear them apart...

angel
February 11th, 2005, 06:55 AM
*Starts crying*
That is so true.

[Technya]
February 11th, 2005, 07:01 AM
*hugs Angel* There, there. I can relate to that poem, it's like so true in every word you used *sniffles* *breaks down crying*

Kyosuke
February 11th, 2005, 01:13 PM
Your poem really expalins quite boldly, how someone might try as hard as they can in this life, but won't get recoginized for anything they do. And you worded it very nicely at that.

It starts off asking questions in the first stanza and answers those questons in a way in unique was in the second stanza. Throughout this whole poem, I'm sure many can relate to how this is the case in their day to day lives and how to world can pass them by.

I really enjoyed the ending though, it ended on a postivie note basically saying even if everything is hard to cope with just always try to stay postitive in this strange and unusual world that we live in, because if you don't, you'll always feel down.

Great job ^^'.

Kelsey
February 11th, 2005, 04:14 PM
Wow, DA, this poem really explains human nature in many ways. The part where it said "The angels begin to hate this world they made" really points out how humans have kinda messed things up all over the world.

We have our petty disputes and wars and do nothing but harm others or scar them for life. We think nothing but our own sanctuary and life essence. We think that our God is more powerful than other religions' God(s). It's terribly sad, really.

This world was not created for us to destroy it. The Earth is not some target to shoot our blood-stained bullets into. The world was created for all living creatures to live in peace and harmony. Not rage and anguish. The meaning of life is to become a better person, not destroy others' lives, hopes, and dreams.

This poem was awsome, DA, I loved it. The flow was wonderful, I really adored how it all fit together within itself. There were no spelling errors either, so good job on that as well. ^^ Keep up the great work DA! ^.~

~Kelsey

Demonic Angel
February 11th, 2005, 06:37 PM
Aww, thankiez guys! *hugs* ^^
I'm glad you liked it. ^^
I might write something else later... maybe I'll post it here. If it ain't too crappy. XD

Sawyer
February 11th, 2005, 06:46 PM
well, you sent it to me on AIM, and i told you it was really good, so... i'm saying the same thing now ^^,

Kylie-chan
February 11th, 2005, 11:09 PM
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Yay, you posted it, Yami-chan! And you know as well as I do it is not crap, it so totally pwnz! XD ^^ And it's very perceptive.

angel
February 15th, 2005, 06:39 AM
*hugs Angel* There, there. I can relate to that poem, it's like so true in every word you used *sniffles* *breaks down crying*
*Hugs SHadow of ash back trying to make him/her to stop crying.*

Kyogre-chan
February 15th, 2005, 06:45 AM
*sniff* That's beautiful. I can relate very well to that poem. ;_;