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oni flygon
February 21st, 2005, 03:33 PM
Yeah...short one shot I made today... it's not much... but I hope you guys enjoy it! ^__^ I'm open for comments and criticisms...
As expected, this fic is... FEELINGSHIPPING
Caught ya there, didn't I? XD

The Tree Across The Meadow

On such a fine weather like this, you could see two lovers walking along a path beside the vast green meadow. The sun would be shining brightly and the winds would be blowing softly. The blades of grass would follow the wind and every scattered flower across the meadow would be releasing their soft aroma and waft the sweet scent around the immense field of green. The sky would be pure blue and no dark cloud would be in sight. Across the meadow, you could see a hill covered with green grass and on top of the hill stands a tree, with branches stretched out to the sky, housing numerous creatures and shading others at its roots with its thick leaves.

We were walking together that day along the dirt road. We would just be talking to each other like we would normally do. Shes just so beautiful today. After much of my persistence earlier, she finally agreed to let her hair down. She seems embarrassed and was blushing after doing so but I told her she looked beautiful with her hair down.

II dont she stammered, looking at the ground and kicking the rocks. Ipeople said I look cute but

You still look cute to me! I laughed as we continued to walk along. But you look so beautiful with your hair down.

Oh youre just flattering me she blushed scarlet once more as she tried to think up of something to say. Well, you look handsome

I paused for a while and with a wide grin on my face replied, Yellow-chan, youre just flattering me! I laughed again, running my fingers through my own messy dark brown hair as she blushed and then giggled.

Then we caught sight of that tree. I looked at her and she had her gaze fixed on that tree across the vast meadow. It seems to mystify her as the wind blew in front of her, making her blond hair wave freely. Her brilliant blue eyes continued to gaze at the tree until I asked her whats wrong.

She looked at me with those beautiful sparkling eyes, smiled, and said it was nothing. But I knew it was something and so we both stopped, looking at that tree as if its some source of a mystical power that drives out attention to it. It was just a single tree out therestanding alone across the flat field strewn with beautiful flowers.

The wind blew through our hair as we smelled the sweet aroma of wild flowers that were spread out in the field. She closed her eyes and I felt her hand touch mine and held it. I held hers tightly as we fell silent for a while. The breeze was so refreshing and it made me relax. I could hear her breathing slowly and deeply as she stood close to me. I opened my eyes to see her gazing at the tree on the other side once more.

It was after a while when she realized that I was looking at her and she smiled at me. She smiled beautifully and it just made wrap my arms around her. She did the same and soon, we were in an embrace for no reason at all. For a while we stayed in that embrace but soon we separated and I could see a glint of inspiration in her eyes.

Before I could realize it, she started running. I was basically shocked and didnt know what to do until she yelled:

Green-kun, catch me if you can!

She giggled as I burst into a sprint, chasing her. Her long flowing hair flowed behind her as I ran through knee-length grass and occasionally stepping on mud that splashed on my brown boots.

Yellow-chan, wait up! I yelled to her as my heart pounded out of control. I could hear my pulse throbbing in my ears and my hair being pushed back by the wind as I sprinted up to catch her. She was a feet away from me when I realized that she was heading for the tree.

It took just a few strides just to catch up with her. She looked at me as we raced across the meadow, giggling and said, Hey, no fair, Green-kun!

I grinned as I continued running up to the tree, going ahead of her. However, she still continued to run. I made my way uphill, stomping on the grass beneath my boots and when I finally made it to the top, I was panting and wheezing. I looked down at her and laughed while she tried to make her way up on top.

Before I could even catch my breath, she already made her way to the top and suddenly jumped on me. I was shocked as we both fell down on the ground but the grass was able to cushion our fall. Now, we were protected by the trees shade and she was blushing as she pinned me down.

We were both silent for a while before a faint smile appeared on her face. I smiled with her as I ran my fingers through her long blond hair, gazing at those beautiful sparkling eyes. She gazed back into my eyes and for a minute or so, we were looking at each others eyes.

Then she closed her eyes and she slowly lowered her head. At first I didnt know what was happening. My heart was still beating out of control and my blood still continued to rush into my head as my body tried to get the necessary oxygen it needs. But then I realized what was happening. I closed my eyes as I felt her soft, warm lips slowly touching mine. Soon, we were deep into a kiss. It didnt last for long but I held her tightly as I savored every moment of bliss that she gave to me.

I caressed her smooth cheek as we sat together under the tree. She rested her head on my shoulder as we both looked out into the meadow. We didnt say a word to each otherbut I could hear both of our hearts saying the words I love you to each other. Silently, we just sat there, gazing at the horizon and at the clear sky. I looked at her and watched her eyes slowly close. She fell asleep with her head on my shoulder that afternoon. I held her closely as I continued to gaze out into the distance.

`Owari`

Mari
February 22nd, 2005, 01:12 AM
^____^ Aww, it's so kawaii~! =3

Just adorable. Sweet setting, and sweeter couple. And, as expected from onii-tan, it ish very well-written, there are no grammar or spelling errors and the plot ish just plain cute.

To put it simply, think of the words 'sweet' and 'cute'.

[~Sobrang cute naman ni Yellow! :33~]

oni flygon
February 22nd, 2005, 04:28 PM
Salamat Mari! X3 I'm glad you liked the story! ^__^

Well, can anyone else please tell what they think of the story? =3

Flatulus
February 22nd, 2005, 07:56 PM
Wow, usually romantic scenes in fics are so lame but your's somehow remains great... It's probably because you kept things simple with little dialog, but it was still worth reading. I must say you described things enough to get a readers imagination going, but not so much that it restricted how one could imagine the scene, which is something that is difficult to do.

Next time use a few metaphores to spice up a fic, also making longer ones would also make them more likable in my opinion... Which of course seems to be quite different fom everyone elses.

oni flygon
February 23rd, 2005, 03:13 PM
Thanks! ^__^
Well, you're right....I didn't really put a lot of metaphors here like I would do... it's just a simple story... but I think I'm going to rewrite this soon and maybe make it better. ^^

Thanks again!

Miyu-chan
February 23rd, 2005, 06:27 PM
Ahhh! It's so kawaii! xD I could invision the scenery perfectly, and they're just such a great couple. =3 Great writing. x3

*wonders how old are Green and Yellow* xD;

Kenta
February 23rd, 2005, 06:41 PM
Very cute story. Very moving. I like how you describe things as they are happening too
Green/Yellow is such a cute pair

oni flygon
February 23rd, 2005, 08:13 PM
I'm glad everyone liked it! Thanks for commenting, guys! ^^ I'm just waiting for Frostweaver's review...>.> Feel free to comment more, though! XD

Lily
February 25th, 2005, 08:30 AM
(You usually put 'owari' at the end, don't you?) ^____^;

It means "end" of course... X3

Edit by Oni: OH CRAP! Lily I'm so sorry! I accidentally clicked "edit" rather than "quote" ...I accidentally erased your message... I'm so sorry!!!! ;-;


edit by Lily: LOL! it's okay, onii-chan. People make mistakes.

Funny ones. X3~

oni flygon
February 25th, 2005, 10:41 PM
I'm so sorry Lily... I really didn't mean to... ;-;

Lily
February 25th, 2005, 11:11 PM
Like I said, what's done is done...

XD T'was funny.