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Dizzy
December 19th, 2003, 10:16 AM
Hello all and welcome to my poetry Thread, You can see most of my poems in this thread please i want to here all your feedback.

Thank you


Dizzy

Dont Let them Put you down



Dont let them put you down
Dont ever have on a frown
So why dont you turn it upside-down
And make the sun your crown

You might think I'm stupid
You might think I'm mean
But your only making yourself look bad
Because your never going to make me sad


Do it Right my love
Anyone can tell you your wrong
But you have to prove them wrong
Dont let them get to you
The beauty inside of you, my love

So Do it Right my love
Dont let them make you sad
everyone wants to get to you
they want to make you mad
all your emotions,torn
like the pictures on your wall
just smile, smile,and you'll be right, my love


The Darkness

The Darkness Within will show your heart
nothing can change your images
except what you feel, what you feel

If you think you are destroyed, your hurt
Only you, you, can get over it
No one else is here to make your decisions

The Darkness taught us something
we all sat in the dark, that we can all do everything by ourselves
we need nothing, nothing, but ourselves

The Darkness

Dont Stop you'll get there

Remember when you were a small child
Thinking of what you wanted to be
Taken away by simple things
called away by the sea

Now comes time to be what you wanted
everything in place,
nothing can make me feel greater
than too see your happy face

Dont Stop, Dont Quit, You'll get there someday
Even when your world comes down, you'll be there someday



Thank you, There will be more ^_^.

punkie90
December 19th, 2003, 05:23 PM
Nice peom. hmm let me think of one..

Bold

Always be bold,
Always be true,
You never know,
How be to be

If you don't know just ask me,
because i know you and you know me
We will be bold together and forever!

Dizzy
December 20th, 2003, 06:44 PM
Thank you Punkie, at least some people like my work.

Hiroshi Sotomura
December 20th, 2003, 09:47 PM
Oh splendid, splendid! This is eligible for the contest. Pick an entry and I'll enter it.

Dizzy
December 27th, 2003, 02:42 PM
I want Dont Let them Put you down to be in the contest I know i wont win so you can put it in anyways :)

Dizzy
December 27th, 2003, 02:56 PM
Heres my Short Story which you could call a poem..

What ever Happened to Him?

At first everyone liked him, he really thought he was liked.
Then one day he started to fade away... becoming less popular and such. Everyone hated him. He left and Never came back. He was hated.

Blaine
January 9th, 2004, 07:48 PM
Well, Dizzy, I have both criticism and compliments. You aren't very strong when it comes to rhyming, try free verse, most find it a lot easier. Also, it looks more like you're trying to write song lyrics rather than poetry. Enough criticizing, eheh. Now compliments. I especially like the poem 'The Darkness.' ^^;;; It's very melodic.

Perhaps now that I have torn your poetry to shreds you would give the same criticism to mine? -please note the light-hearted tone-

Facade

The thick piece of invisible concrete surrounds her
Shrouding her life from all onlookers
She is but a mortal who cannot be hurt
She is overcome with fear
Hurt, lust, need, and life all hidden
Unsurfaced to the beings who come in contact with her
This woman is me.

Dizzy
January 9th, 2004, 08:25 PM
Aww thank you Blaine :)Maybe I should write Songs instead lol.... Thats a very nice Poem you have there

Dizzy
January 9th, 2004, 08:35 PM
Sorry for the Double Post but here is My Song :)

Destroyed - The Destructives (my band.. written by me though)

I feel so lost just standing here
Lost in Innocence through all these years
Just never Looked at how bad you hurt me
Now I realize it all
You left me in the Cold
I feel so Destroyed
If I could Change it All
Then I would Do it to you

You Called me on that day
I said I didnt want to talk to you
You led me astray
You used me for all your work
You thought you got away with it all
Well your wrong
I feel so Destroyed
If I could Change it All
Then I would Do it to you

i have to finish it of course....

Kyosuke
January 10th, 2004, 02:15 PM
Its ok Dizzy, I'll let it slide this time XP.

To tell you the truth, the song that you have thought of is quite brillent, and I could actully see a band preforming it if they had a chance, I really want to see you finish this and keep on doing your song writing and Poetry becuase your really good at this.

Dizzy
January 10th, 2004, 07:43 PM
:) Thank you Liquid Thunder

Half the Songs my band sings are about getting dumped or falling in Love.

My band's Name is The Destructives if you wanted to know

punkie90
January 11th, 2004, 04:14 PM
Dizzy.. What happened to thugmanics? LOL! Well. I can help you with your lyrics for your band...

Dizzy
January 11th, 2004, 06:58 PM
Dizzy.. What happened to thugmanics? LOL! Well. I can help you with your lyrics for your band...


It's Thuganomics and its just a saying we have... we're not gangsta's No body is anyone that dresses like one is just a poser with the baggy pants and the attitude...

Frostweaver
January 11th, 2004, 07:08 PM
thought you may want to read a few pointers I found on writing lyrics for songs

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/soldonsong/artandcraft/home/writinglyrics.shtml

this website has professional hints at lyrics writing... maybe just flip through it and that will send your song from great to perfection ^_^

Dizzy
February 10th, 2004, 03:35 PM
I wanna write another song. Thank you frostweaver

Teara
February 10th, 2004, 03:56 PM
Dizzy those are awsome! I wouldn't wan't to criticize you unless I had written poetry as well since it is very hard...oh hey what do you know, I have written a poem, 3 actually. Yours all have a bit of a dark side to them, thats a good thing though, it shows that you specilize in a certain theme. My theme is mostly deep sorta spiritual nature stuff, it all has a second meaning. I'd post my best poem 4 u to see but they are all VERY long (over 30 lines in my best). Keep it up, poetry is a great thing to get into.

Dizzy
February 10th, 2004, 03:59 PM
Thank you so much Teara, Everyone says that I'm a better song writer though, so I write songs..WHO IS SPECIAL O?? lol :) Thank you

Yamichu
February 10th, 2004, 04:21 PM
That's a great song Dizzy...it knda reminds of an evenescance song...


~HORN!

Dizzy
February 27th, 2004, 09:00 PM
Stars were shining bright that night
I stepped in the light it felt so right
I stepped in the light it felt so right!!

Can't look at you, and when i do
I don't know what to say
Why do you do this do me i ask
I ask, I ask, I pray

Tell me why you demand my love
and you give none back, Why
Why don't you give any back?



The Almighty one made the sun
and the moon,
he made you,
he made me.

Dizzy
February 28th, 2004, 11:22 AM
Sorry for Double posting again but if no one wants to read my poetry then just close down the thread... I want to make a song writing thread anyways.. :P

Dizzy
March 1st, 2004, 06:48 PM
Poetry Anyone? (sorry for the triple post... I need to get this done lol)

The Day's of my Life
Are like a Red Red Rose
filled with Danger and Strife
Just like Poetry to Prose ;)

You like that one lol.....

The Overlord
March 2nd, 2004, 12:33 AM
Hmm lets see you can re edit your post but very good work you have a talent that most people dont have me i cant make up anything *blank mind* hope to see more im probally giving you to much credit but keep up the good work.

Dizzy
March 2nd, 2004, 03:09 PM
Nah My Expertise is Song Writing and possibly remixing songs... But Poetry is fun. Thank you Rayquaza Champ for the Awesome Compliments :)

Greed
March 5th, 2004, 05:10 PM
Wow! Poems from the Scorpio-boi! I should not be dissapointed! *reads*

These are great, Dizzy-boi! I didn't knew you wrote poems! That is soo rad! =D

*Dies*

Dizzy
March 5th, 2004, 07:05 PM
OMG Cartoon thank you so much.. I wanna write Poems in Latin though... It just sounds better like that (lol You try pronouncing them big Words :P)

Thank you for reading my work.

Greed
March 6th, 2004, 01:26 PM
Why not try that? ^_^ You can make it something like a mix of spanish and latin or something like that =D

Example: "That was very malo"

Besides, Latin is such a nice language, its a lot like spanish ^_^ And they spoke it in "The Passion of the Christ" I luv how the words were so similar to spanish =3

*dies*

Hikaru's Twin
March 6th, 2004, 01:39 PM
Oh, wow, your poems are lovely Dizzy! Keep up the good work, i hope to see more from you in the future! ^_^

Miyu-chan
March 6th, 2004, 02:39 PM
Wow, Great work! XD I've never been a big fan of poetry until now. =D Write more!

Dizzy
March 10th, 2004, 07:12 PM
Thanks everyone That really makes me feel good!!! Cartoon it sounds like Portuguese Too, Like when they were beating him (eeee) The Guy Threw called out numbers and Unus Duo Tria Quttera Quinque Sex Septe Octo Novem... I know the latin numbers and they sound just like Portuguese and Spanish and French.