View Full Version : I Wish

March 1st, 2005, 5:00 PM
I wrote this a while back and I think it's alright. I don't like the ending though. It just doesn't seem to fit but at the same time it does. Confusing no? Well tell me what you think.

As I stand here gazing at the stars I wish,
I wish for a place where everything is peaceful,
I wish for a place where nothing can go wrong,
I wish for a place where I can always be with you,
I wish for a place where love will never die,
I wish for a place where the truth never hurts,
But as I stand here wishing I know that such a place will never exist

March 2nd, 2005, 1:06 PM
Hmm.. Well, for starters, no spelling or grammar errors, which is good... ^__^
It was a little short, but that's okay, not all poems should be long. We need a variety of each. xD;;

I liked it. It describes your wishes, and it shows you think they will never come true. I'm not one to rate, so I won't, but good job! ^__^ ~origin

March 2nd, 2005, 5:06 PM
Yeah..very good. And believe me it does exist..
It's quite short though..
anyways, will I be seeing more poems you write?

March 2nd, 2005, 5:10 PM
Maybe and like I said it was my first and I wasn't even intending to write it so it was never assigned a certain length. Thanks for the compliments though. ^_^ I wrote this quite a while back.

March 2nd, 2005, 5:29 PM
Awesome poem I love it and I to hope to be seeing more of you're writing!