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Aiya Quackform
March 3rd, 2005, 10:07 PM
Ok, so it's not Pokemon-related. It's not even a fan fic. But, I rather like it so here it is.

The Beast

I walk by the divider between my house and the neighbors. It is two long cement fences that run between our driveways about three feet high and a little less than a foot apart. The middle is filled up with golden brown stones to about three inches short of the top, and pond water up to the brim. I love the water, so I get closer to investigate. As I approach, I stop in amazement as a head formed by the water pops up. Retaining the opaque appearance and color of the honey brown stones, it slowly continues to form a body out of the water. I become horrified as the large body of a predatorial cat appears. Its yellow eyes are on me. But there is still time to escape before it fully forms! I turn to run down the driveway. When I do, I see my parents at the end of the driveway by the mailbox. They are yelling and waving their hands frantically for me to come to them.

I start to run, but I cant, my right leg cant move. I look down at my bulging right pocket. A large bright red ball inside prevents my leg from moving far enough ahead to move at a decent speed. I look behind me, the cat has fully surfaced and leapt to the ground, easily standing six feet tall. Its eyes are locked onto me, and is baring its teeth and growling at me. Its bulging muscular legs move towards me.

I want to scream, but I cant. Waddling as fast as I can to the safety of my parents, I can feel the eyes of the beast on my back, enjoying my torment like a cat playing with a mouse before it devours it. The cat-monster is close behind me now, ready to strike. But I am almost to my parents and their safety. They smile as I take the last steps towards them

I am on my back, looking up in terror at the beast over me. I am in the hallway of my home. How I got there, I do not know. Daring to glance behind me, my parents are at the end of the hall in my room, telling me to come to them. I quickly turn my gaze back to the beast. Still on my back, I push myself towards my room.

I manage to scoot backwards slowly, but steadily. The beasts log-like leg takes a step forward. It is still growling. It is still hunting me. I continue pushing myself, it continues tormenting me.I can hear my parents. They are calling to me. I must make it to them! But this beast will not let me. I know it.

Knowing it is my only chance, I wait for the right moment. I am almost there. I push myself up onto my feet, turn towards my parents, and start to run for them, but they scream at me to stop. The beast is angry, and I drop onto my back again. It calms, but it is still hunting me.

Dont look away from it! they say to me, and I understand. The only thing keeping this monster from attacking me is my eyes. It doesnt like me looking at it. So I stare back into its eerie yellow eyes, and I push myself backwards more.

One more push and I will be there! But the monster is angry with me for still being alive. It is going to attack

I shoot up from my bed, covered in sweat. Again. Like I always do in this dream. Will I ever know the end?

_______________________________________________________

Author's Notes: An odd piece, I know, but it was a school assignment and I rather like the way it turned out. Leave me reviews here, please.

Claire
March 4th, 2005, 01:22 PM
A good depiction of a dream ^^ one you've had possibly?

Kyosuke
March 4th, 2005, 01:40 PM
Its odd alright, but odd in a good way that made it work so well ^^. In the beginning you kept it a secret that it was really a dream, and actully had me going for a bit XD, but at the last second you finally mention how it was really a dream.

You did what every auther tries to do, which is put a visual into the reader's mind of what the situation might look like if it was to happen in real life, and with the desciptions that you gave, you did that fully with the talking about the "cat-monster" and its glaring eyes and muscular legs.

Great job ^^'

Aiya Quackform
March 4th, 2005, 07:59 PM
I'm glad you both like it! One reason I could describe it so well is because this is a recurring nightmare I had when I was little.

Lion Heart
March 5th, 2005, 04:21 AM
Pretty good, you could have made the ending more ferocious by wording the bit where it is about to attack a little more animated.

No idea what your parents were going to do to The Beast.

Aiya Quackform
March 6th, 2005, 02:17 PM
I've put the Pokemon version of this up at ffnet. I'd appreciate it if you'd drop me a review there. The more reviews I get, the more likely other people are to read it!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2294397/1/

Kelsey
March 6th, 2005, 02:30 PM
Ooooh, this was pretty cool! ^_______^ I enjoyed the part where the evil cat demon thing came out. =P I think your descriptions are pretty good and there was always some action going around. ^o^

Seeing as this is a one-shot I thought it was pretty neat. ^______^ Maybe this could kinda be like a prologue or something if you decide to continue on in the story. ^^

~Kelsey