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View Full Version : ~几ife of a Legend: Lugia才


lilbluecorsola
March 6th, 2005, 08:10 AM
I really liked this one. (^.^) I think there was lots of deep emotion in this One-Shot, unlike Jirachi... >.>

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There was a terrible storm that day.

It had come out of seemingly nowhere. There had been absolutely no signs of warning beforehand. In fact, only moments before, the ocean had been completely calm and inviting, beckoning to all that owned a vessel to venture out into her waters, and be cradled lovingly by her tender and benevolent waves. Hundreds had answered the call, lured to the sea by the sunlight dancing upon her deep, turquoise waters, glittering like thousands of diamonds beneath the surface.

And for all their advanced technology, people had been completely unable to predict its occurrence. Now they were being forced to pay the price.

Hundreds lost at sea... Swallowed by the very essence of their life... Destroyed by their own creator...

All must die.

All must suffer, for I have suffered.

Those who perish by her waters will know what it felt like; to die within the matter you always thought would protect and provide for you. To struggle against her overpowering force, and in the end, die slowly within her grasp as she summons you back to the depths from whence you came.

Those who stayed upon the shore will know what it is like to never see a loved one again. They will know what it is like, to suffer loss...

As I have.

I search and search again, diving into the waters to find what I know is no longer there. In vain I scour the ocean floor, searching for any sign of the one I loved.

And in the end, I find nothing.

When I surface again, the feeling of ache and vexation is renewed. Stubbornly I let out a scream of rage, and repeat the process once again in vain.

Deep inside, I know the effort is pointless. But still I refuse to accept the facts.

At last, as my strength diminishes, I can no longer keep up the search. With all the might I can muster, I let out one last anguished cry to the heavens, to announce the grief I had been caused, and to ask why this fate was cast upon me.

As I plunge into the sea, the cool aquamarine waters embracing my form, I continue to ask the questions in my mind.

Why? Why are we given something to love and cherish, and then the next moment, it is stripped from us without remorse? Why are we forced to suffer this way, to go through life never knowing sustained happiness?

My vision grows darker now, as I drift deeper into the murk. As light once again brightens the world above, I catch one last glimpse of the sparkling white beams dancing atop the surface.

Why must all our dreams be trampled? All our hopes and desires broken?

My sight is blurred, fading with every passing moment. I lie now on the ocean floor, a choking sensation growing within me as my body fights to breathe. I no longer attempt to contemplate the answers to the questions I ask, and I find that slowly, surely, realization comes to me...

I close my eyes, slowly re-uniting with the waters, and I feel my form melting into the ocean itself.

The sea has always forgiven me for my actions...

Could I now learn to forgive the sea?

Breezy
March 6th, 2005, 10:42 AM
Mmm . . . very nice lilblue. As always, you write description with such skill and ease, it boggles my mind @_@ (I liked the Jirachi LoaL though; I thought that was had lonliness pinned down quite nicely).
Stubbornly I let out a scream of rageI'm not sure how you can stubbornly let out a scream of rage. Not in Lugia's case anyways. It wants to scream, not resist it. ;)

There weren't many (if any) mistakes beside a few misuses of commas (and even then, I'm not too sure myself) so I'll just shut up on conventions for now. =X

I loved how Lugia wanted to take its anger out on the people and make them suffer as well. Its frantic search for who knows what (I wouldn't know either since I rarely watched the anime and its movies) was written well too.

Description was great as well. Not your best, I have to admit, but still great.

LaTeR dAyZ!

mizu-dragon
March 6th, 2005, 01:11 PM
Yes, another excellent one-shot! I must commend you on your work... so emotional; indeed, you express in words what few feel at all. And the portrayal of Lugia is very good, with emotions most can relate to. A very powerful piece. 5 stars.

lilbluecorsola
March 6th, 2005, 01:47 PM
Mmm . . . very nice lilblue. As always, you write description with such skill and ease, it boggles my mind @_@ (I liked the Jirachi LoaL though; I thought that was had lonliness pinned down quite nicely).
I'm not sure how you can stubbornly let out a scream of rage. Not in Lugia's case anyways. It wants to scream, not resist it. ;)

There weren't many (if any) mistakes beside a few misuses of commas (and even then, I'm not too sure myself) so I'll just shut up on conventions for now. =X

I loved how Lugia wanted to take its anger out on the people and make them suffer as well. Its frantic search for who knows what (I wouldn't know either since I rarely watched the anime and its movies) was written well too.

Description was great as well. Not your best, I have to admit, but still great.

LaTeR dAyZ!

x.X This is really wierd. How come I just can't find the emotion in my own fic? Very odd...

Well, I thought it was stubborn because Lugia was screaming at really no one, telling them he wasn't going to give up. o.O; *shrugs* Maybe I did use it wrong, but I thought it fit.

Heh. ^^; Lugia was searching for his child. There was a reappearance of Lugia in one of the Whirl Island episodes. It was a parent and a baby, whose name was Silver. (Note: I really haven't decided whether it was the Lugia from the Whirl Islands or the one from the second movie that was in this fic. I guess it's up to you.)

Thanks for reviewing! =D *Supa Lolly*

Yes, another excellent one-shot! I must commend you on your work... so emotional; indeed, you express in words what few feel at all. And the portrayal of Lugia is very good, with emotions most can relate to. A very powerful piece. 5 stars.

Wow. 8D Thanks so much baby azurill! *has received her first 5 star rating at PC* Supa Lolly for j00! (-^.^-)

Team Shadow Leader
March 6th, 2005, 04:17 PM
hm. If I suffer everyone else must suffer. I likey. :P
yeah, I loved the emotions, very much like me kinda. All must die. :P
and the description was great. nothing new there. :P

Chibi Pika
March 6th, 2005, 08:41 PM
*Spaz*IstehLugiaishnessededwheetehcoojanesshuggles!!!!!*spaz*

Now that certainly was incomprehensible...o.O; ANyway, every single time I reread this I am reminded of how dense I was to not know Lugia died until you told billy later in a different thread x_x;;; And now that I know, it's so obvious, but meh, I had forgotten the emotions in this one...wooshie...it's not fair, your descriptions AND your emotions pwn...*sits in corner poking fingers togetehr* Ah well, awesome, Bue.

And I have found it odd that hardly anyone uses the stars here. =/ Maybe cause this forum has like a tenth of the activity SPPf's ficcy section has?

~Chibi~

lilbluecorsola
March 8th, 2005, 04:05 PM
hm. If I suffer everyone else must suffer. I likey. :P
yeah, I loved the emotions, very much like me kinda. All must die. :P
and the description was great. nothing new there. :P

(^.^) Whee, thank you TSL. *Lolly*

*Spaz*IstehLugiaishnessededwheetehcoojanesshuggles !!!!!*spaz*

Now that certainly was incomprehensible...o.O; ANyway, every single time I reread this I am reminded of how dense I was to not know Lugia died until you told billy later in a different thread x_x;;; And now that I know, it's so obvious, but meh, I had forgotten the emotions in this one...wooshie...it's not fair, your descriptions AND your emotions pwn...*sits in corner poking fingers togetehr* Ah well, awesome, Bue.

And I have found it odd that hardly anyone uses the stars here. =/ Maybe cause this forum has like a tenth of the activity SPPf's ficcy section has?

~Chibi~

XD Simmer down, deep breaths Chibi...

^^; You didn't know? Heh, guess it was a bit vague. Sorry. *pulls Chibi out of corner*

o.O Yeah, I've noticed it's pretty quiet around here. Meh.

Thank you for reviewing, as always. =D *Supa Lolly*

Charizard_Fire_God
March 14th, 2005, 01:13 PM
*wipes away the burning tears from his eyes*
that was beautiful, just beautiful!
how tragic...
...so much truth in your words...
the awful truth of an irreversible tragedy...
and the burning desire to keep looking, ignoring all logic and reason...
...to the point where your effort consumes you, but you still try to go on...
it's true!! i've felt it too!!

lilbluecorsola
March 14th, 2005, 04:39 PM
*wipes away the burning tears from his eyes*
that was beautiful, just beautiful!
how tragic...
...so much truth in your words...
the awful truth of an irreversible tragedy...
and the burning desire to keep looking, ignoring all logic and reason...
...to the point where your effort consumes you, but you still try to go on...
it's true!! i've felt it too!!

8D Wow, you liked it that much? Teh OMG, thank you!

^^; Yeah, I think it really was one of my post powerful pieces of work. Near the end, I think I started relating to my own life too. =l

*hands you a Supa Lolly* 8)