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Apprentice
March 30th, 2005, 06:46 PM
Prologue

A tall boy about sixteen-years-old stood on one side of a dirt-covered stadium. The sun shone brightly through the open ceiling of the dome onto his messy black hair. His blank white T-shirt that was a size too big for him was gently fluttering in the light breeze. Six red-and-white balls were attached to a brown belt looped around a pair of blue jeans from a hole just below his right knee. His black shoes sunk into the sand under his weight.

This boys name was Ken Rei. Two years ago, Ken had left his home in Pallet Town of the Kanto Region to begin his Pokemon Journey. Professor Oak was an elderly man who studied Pokemon as a profession. He started Ken on his adventure by giving Ken his first Pokemon, a Bulbasaur. It was a tiny dinosaur-like Pokemon with a plant bulb that grew on its back since birth. Together with his Pokemon partners, Ken traveled and faught to get where he was today.

The final battle of this years Pokemon League Tournement is about to begin! the announcers voice blared throughout the stadium. Of the two-hundred Pokemon Trainers who have entered this tournament, it all came down to this young man from Pallet Town, Ken Rei!

After the announcement, cheers flowed from the audience. Of the thousands of people in the seats surrounding the field, Ken spotted his mother in the first row. She held up a flag that read Good Luck, Ken! in glittering blue letters. As the cheers died down, two metal doors slid open on the other side of the stadium and an older man walked out onto the stadium.

His dark brown hair was spiked on top of his head. He wore a red shirt with no sleeves and blue jeans that only reached a couple inches below his knees. Tall brown dirty boots covered the rest of his legs.

Introducing last years champion, the man who Ken must face for the title of Pokemon Master, Kay! the announcer shouted over the audience.

A referee in a black-and-white stripped jacket and pants, holding a red flag and a green flag, walked onto the field and stood on the sidelines to observe the match. He held the flags up, signaling the start of the match.

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And now both trainers only have one Pokemon remaining! the announcer shouted the stats of the battle.

Ken took lashed a Pokeball from his belt and stared at it. This ball contained his best Pokemon.

Weve come this far, buddy, he said.

He lunged the ball forward. It soared through the air, the suns rays flashing off its shiny surface. The ball hit the middle of the arena and exploded. In a beam of white light, a large blue dinosaur-like Pokemon with a huge flower placed on its back appeared and roared into the air. Venusaurs roar hadnt fazed Kays Pokemon, a Charizard, at all and didnt hesitate to attack.

Kays Charizard opened its mouth as orange flames appeared. It released the ring of fire and sent it flying toward Venusaur. The flames danced in a circle around the trapped Grass- and Poison-type Pokemon. But the Fire Spin attack seemed to have no effect on it. In fact, the fire was being sucked into Venusaurs flower.

A green orb appeared above Venusaurs plant and began to grow rapidly. Beams from the sun soared into the orb Venusaur had materialized. Venusaur let out an extremely loud battle cry as it released the beam toward Charizard. The Solar Beam hit dead on and sent Charizard flying into a wall. It fell to the ground and struggled to get up. When it ran out of energy, it collapsed, fainted. The referee shot the red flag into the air.

Charizard is unable to battle, he shouted. The round and the match goes to Ken Rei, our new champion!

In a stunning upset, Ken defeats Kays Charizard and claims the Master title, the announcer repeated. Ken is now our new champion. Congratulations!

An even louder cheer roared into the stadium as the eight Kanto gym leaders marched onto the stadium to present the Kanto League Cup to Ken. Lieutenant Surge picked Ken up of the ground and sat him on his shoulder. Ken held up the cup as high as he could as the crowds cheer increased in volume. He looked for his mother, who was sobbing with joy. It was the happiest moment of Kens life.

Breezy
March 30th, 2005, 08:47 PM
*shrugs and decides to review*

Character description was just . . . blah IMO. Too blunt for my liking. Try to blend it in with the fic around it instead of having it stick out like that.
Professor Oak was an elderly man who studied Pokemon as a profession.I like how this line is randomly thrown into paragraph two lol. While the conncetion between Ken and Professor Oak is obvious, this line just doesn't fit in like the other sentences. It's like you were going to describe two different characters in one paragraph.

I wasn't particulary fond of the battle description in this fic. What there was was nice of course, but the fact that there wasn't much battle at all just makes me go meh. The battle was way too short for my liking. One attack and that's it? =/

Charizard must of been really tired to be defeated that easily. ;)

While on battle scenes, I don't understand *how* Venusaur managed to absorb Charizard's fire attack. Wouldn't it, like, burn him inside? Yeah, the sun is made out of fire, but direct contact with flame like Charizard's Fire Blast would burn the sucka. :)

What's the connection between Lt. Surge and Ken? Lt. Surge doesn't seem to be one to pick up a kid and rest him on his shoulders IMO, but hey, that's just me. It's been awhile since I saw that episode on the anime lol. *wonders why she said lol to that*

It's not bad I suppose. Not sure where this is going or what else is there to write, but still, not bad heh.

LaTeR dAyZ!