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angel
April 9th, 2005, 09:50 AM
This fanfict is based on the rpg "Captors: New begings".
Heres the first chapter:

Sam layed rather comfortably on his bed, in a sort of day-dream staring at The Dash card which was in he's peach colored hands, and then it happened....

Sam rubbed his eyes in the darkness, hoping to see clearly in the misty room. Sam noticed a small figure heading towards him, it was the Dash card it came out by it's self! Sam stood there in shock as it explained why it had chosen him. It said, "Sam, you are the decendant of the Mistress of the Cards, Sakura Avalon. You and your friends must capture the remaining Star Cards and turn them into the Planet Cards, but in order to do so, all of you must release the Card at once. The Cards must be sealed away inside the Planet Book once the cards are transformed. I trust you and your friends will do well, use your powers wisely. You never know what evil is about, Clow always said that he would come back, once he was back together..."Dash's voice trails off as Sam hears a shallow knocking at his door, then he's back in his room like he was loseing he's mind. He looked at he's peach hands and seen the dash card still into his hands.

Meanwhile at kiki's house

Kiki waks up to found a dark shadow standing in front of her. She was about to scream but then noticed that it was her dark card. SHe opened her mouth to speak but didn't say anything. She said "You and your friends must capture the remaining Star Cards and turn them into the Planet Cards, but in order to do so, all of you must release the Card at once. The Cards must be sealed away inside the Planet Book once the cards are transformed. I trust you and your friends will do well, use your powers wisely. You never know what evil is about, Clow always said that he would come back, once he was back together. "But why" She finally got to say. But before he answered She woke up. She looked over at my dresser to see the card floweding in the air! She ran up and grabed it.

Meanwhile at Misaki's house

Misaki slightly woke up to the sound of her door opening and noticed a big bird in her large room.She jumped out of her bed sat still shocked at the sight before her.Then,she realized it was her Fly card,it spoke to her saying,"You and your friends must capture the remaining Star Cards and turn them into the Planet Cards, but in order to do so, all of you must release the Card at once. The Cards must be sealed away inside the Planet Book once the cards are transformed. I trust you and your friends will do well, use your powers wisely. You never know what evil is about, Clow always said that he would come back, once he was back together."I abruptly woke up and noticed the fly card levitating in the air.She stood up on her feet and grabbed it knowing what she must do.

Meanwhile at Chi's house

It was night time,almost dawn.Chi scwirmed around in bed and then awoked and gasped and sat up.Her card was floating in mid-air,right in front of her face. It said,"You and your friends must find the remaining Star cards.Turn them into Planet cards and seal them in the Planet book...I expect your friends do thesame with thiers...Do as I say at once..."Then Chi awoke for real,forehead with sweat,eyes big.She took the card from her desk.

Please say what you think.

Kyosuke
April 9th, 2005, 03:01 PM
Thats a really good first chapter, you found a nice way to introduce the characters and keep the story moving along, while keeping a bit of suspence while doing it.

Was this copied and pasted from something? Because it just seems a bit streched out, its not a huge problem but can get a bit annoying at times when your reading and you have to scroll to the other side, but oh well the story is great so far and thats what matters the most ^^.

angel
April 9th, 2005, 03:04 PM
Yeah i siad it is based on the cardcaptor rpg. Thank you for your comments.

Hantsuki
April 9th, 2005, 03:09 PM
awesome job! and great idea to make it be based on our RP! It's great^^

Forgotten_hope
April 9th, 2005, 03:14 PM
very good.and yeah good idea making it about our rp.aww guess i'm not in it...o well.

angel
April 9th, 2005, 03:14 PM
THank you rika.THank you hope. I'm making chapter 2 right now cause i have to wait till trap gets back on too.

Okay to help people how's not in the rpg heres somrthing to help:
Sam= SLiver Moon
Rika=
Hope(F.H)=

Forgotten_hope
April 9th, 2005, 03:18 PM
now...am i not gonna vbe in it?i realy don't care if i am.i was just wonderin.

angel
April 9th, 2005, 03:22 PM
WHat. DIdn't i put your post up there?
Heres some help for people who aen't in the rpg:
Misaki and Ryou = Rika Kamiya
Sam= Silver Moon
Chi & koutaro= Trapdoor(#)
Jon= Hope(F.H)
Who am i missing?

Forgotten_hope
April 9th, 2005, 03:23 PM
you're missing me
me=Jon

Hantsuki
April 9th, 2005, 03:31 PM
and switch mine around here..
Misaki and Ryou = Rika Kamiya

angel
April 9th, 2005, 03:31 PM
Thank you hope.Thank you rika.SO i've got everybody right?

Forgotten_hope
April 9th, 2005, 03:37 PM
no your not missing anyone but it's Koutaro not kouta

Hantsuki
April 9th, 2005, 03:42 PM
yep and what's it called..oh yeah XD anyways,you can PM me to proofread it for mistakes or anything before you post your next one if you want^^

angel
April 9th, 2005, 03:43 PM
THanks.Heres chapter 2.

I grabed my clothes and got dressed.I took two pink ribbons from my dresser and tied my hair up in ponytails.I picked up my bookbag and swing the door open and ran downstairs. I ran right past my mother wow was cooking and my dad who was reading the paper."Angel where are you going" my mom said.
I didn't stop runing i reached the door then my mom sighed and said "kiki where are you going before you eat?". I stoped and turned around. "I'm not hungry" i yelled runing out the front door. My mom sighed and siad "Whatare we going to do with her?" my dad put down his coffe and said "Give her time." I ran to the school's front gate and stoped to wait for (you guys/gals).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam got up off his bed and headed for the phone, he needed to call Kiki, Chi, and Misaki to find out if they had a vision type thing like him. He picked up the phone, started to dial, but decided against it. Sam ran back to his room, grabbed his key ((the one that makes the wand, not an actual key)), grabbed the Dash card, his book bag, and headed for the door. "I need to talk to them in person.." Sam thought as he hollered at his mother, telling her he'd be back later and headed out the door. He walked down the sidewalk and realized that he'd wished that he'd picked the Fly card instead, he pushed aside that thought and hurried over to Kiki's house to plan an emergency meeting before school started.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Misaki jumped off her bed and grabbed her dark blue jacket.She held onto the fly card and ran downstairs as she sped past her father."Where are you going Misaki?"he asked."I'll be back,"I replied and ran out the door.I took out the key for my wand out of my pocket and summoned it.
"Key of Stars!
Power of Magic,
Power of Light,
Surrender the wand
The force ignite!
RELEASE!"
Then I summoned the Fly card.
"Release and Dispel The Fly!"
I hopped on it and flew in the sky looking for the others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Me)I get tierd of standing so i sit down on a lunch bench.I listen to the wind blowing the leaves and my lighish, darkish brown hair into my face. I wripe my hair off my face.The wind blows my card."HUh, hey." i said raning after it and caughing it.I sit back down on the lunch bench.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam decides to go ahead and wait, so he heads for the school so he doesn't become late again. He finds a dark alley way nearby and summoned his wand, "Key of Stars, Power of Magic, Power of Light, Surrender the wand, The force ignite! RELEASE" He cautiously peeked around to make sure no one was around, and summoned the Dash. "Release and dispel! The Dash!" After the Dash was summoned he ran to school, praying no one noticed the summoning.(It's finished)

Forgotten_hope
April 9th, 2005, 03:59 PM
it's good so far.keep it coming.lol.

angel
April 9th, 2005, 04:09 PM
Heres it is:
THanks.Heres chapter 2.

I grabed my clothes and got dressed.I took two pink ribbons from my dresser and tied my hair up in ponytails.I picked up my bookbag and swing the door open and ran downstairs. I ran right past my mother wow was cooking and my dad who was reading the paper."Angel where are you going" my mom said.
I didn't stop runing i reached the door then my mom sighed and said "kiki where are you going before you eat?". I stoped and turned around. "I'm not hungry" i yelled runing out the front door. My mom sighed and siad "Whatare we going to do with her?" my dad put down his coffe and said "Give her time." I ran to the school's front gate and stoped to wait for (you guys/gals).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam got up off his bed and headed for the phone, he needed to call Kiki, Chi, and Misaki to find out if they had a vision type thing like him. He picked up the phone, started to dial, but decided against it. Sam ran back to his room, grabbed his key ((the one that makes the wand, not an actual key)), grabbed the Dash card, his book bag, and headed for the door. "I need to talk to them in person.." Sam thought as he hollered at his mother, telling her he'd be back later and headed out the door. He walked down the sidewalk and realized that he'd wished that he'd picked the Fly card instead, he pushed aside that thought and hurried over to Kiki's house to plan an emergency meeting before school started.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Misaki jumped off her bed and grabbed her dark blue jacket.She held onto the fly card and ran downstairs as she sped past her father."Where are you going Misaki?"he asked."I'll be back,"I replied and ran out the door.I took out the key for my wand out of my pocket and summoned it.
"Key of Stars!
Power of Magic,
Power of Light,
Surrender the wand
The force ignite!
RELEASE!"
Then I summoned the Fly card.
"Release and Dispel The Fly!"
I hopped on it and flew in the sky looking for the others.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Me)I get tierd of standing so i sit down on a lunch bench.I listen to the wind blowing the leaves and my lighish, darkish brown hair into my face. I wripe my hair off my face.The wind blows my card."HUh, hey." i said raning after it and caughing it.I sit back down on the lunch bench.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam decides to go ahead and wait, so he heads for the school so he doesn't become late again. He finds a dark alley way nearby and summoned his wand, "Key of Stars, Power of Magic, Power of Light, Surrender the wand, The force ignite! RELEASE" He cautiously peeked around to make sure no one was around, and summoned the Dash. "Release and dispel! The Dash!" After the Dash was summoned he ran to school, praying no one noticed the summoning.(It's finished)

Forgotten_hope
April 9th, 2005, 04:20 PM
excellent.excellent.

angel
April 9th, 2005, 04:32 PM
Thank you hope.

Midori Chi
April 10th, 2005, 10:38 AM
..In chapter two...where's Chi? And why did you double post Chapter two? ...anyways...it's good so far! I think it's cool how you took an rp and converted it to a story....

O
April 15th, 2005, 03:47 AM
You double posted chapter 2. and don't give stupid reviews like excellent.excellent. It's not helping. I spotted a couple of spelling errors, make sure you type it on word or if not download a spell checker.

Midori Chi
April 15th, 2005, 04:43 AM
and also..like I said...WHERE'S CHI?!

angel
April 15th, 2005, 06:03 PM
CHi is in there.
ANd i know i posted it two times.

Midori Chi
April 15th, 2005, 08:34 PM
Oh! I see it now! Sorry! XD

angel
April 15th, 2005, 08:38 PM
It's okay.
Hey guys in the rpg can you help me? It's hard to do bymeslf

Midori Chi
April 15th, 2005, 08:41 PM
..sure! When are you going to do the next chapter? Anyways..just tellm me how I can be of service..XD

angel
April 15th, 2005, 08:43 PM
Well if you would like you can make the next chapter.

Midori Chi
April 16th, 2005, 07:46 AM
hmm....okay...I'll try...*off to rp area*

*runs back to edit so she doesn't double post* I have no idea how you did it! Do you copy evrything,paste it,and then take out all the ooc's and stuff?

angel
April 16th, 2005, 08:47 AM
hmm....okay...I'll try...*off to rp area*

*runs back to edit so she doesn't double post* I have no idea how you did it! Do you copy evrything,paste it,and then take out all the ooc's and stuff?
Yeah i copyed and pasted it.

Hantsuki
April 16th, 2005, 12:52 PM
well,this is sorta considered spam..you guys can just talk in PMs about this..not to be mean or anything..and just try and make the RP yourself since you created the topic and it's your idea,and when your done,just give it to me and I'll proofread it^^

angel
April 16th, 2005, 03:09 PM
Well i need help.SOrry we will next time.

Midori Chi
April 17th, 2005, 12:58 PM
Sure! Okay then..when are you going to post the next chapter? It flows nicley so far...*this isn't considered spamming,is it?*

angel
April 18th, 2005, 11:18 AM
I don't think it is.

Midori Chi
April 25th, 2005, 05:08 PM
Okay! So..as I said..when's the next chapter going to be posted on?

angel
April 29th, 2005, 04:10 PM
Huh?
Pm me so we don't get in trouble by this.