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mizu-dragon
April 13th, 2005, 01:36 PM
This is a one-shot about my favorite character from Pokmon Rebirth. He's my avvy <. Any misspellings in dialouge are not errors, they are how the characters pronounce the words. Enjoy ^_^ and please review


Looking Back and Hoping Forward

"Gloria..."

The strange figure spoke the name of his lost love as he sat quietly, alone, in the shimmering moonlight. With his friends asleep, he had come here to contemplate on his past.

As the light from the softly-shimmering moon reflected into his eyes, the man spoke again, "You helped me so much... where are you now?"

His voice broke and a tear rolled down his scarred cheek. He brushed it away, but the droplet proved only a vanguard to an ocean that had been welling up inside him. Unable to hold back any longer, the figure suddenly released all his sorrows and tears at once.

"Why... Why did I have to leave yous behind?! Why did you risk your life so that I could have one? Why was I special to you? Why..."

The man slid off the rock that had been his seat and fell onto his knees in the damp grass. He sobbed aloud, face in hands, unwilling to go on.

"...why is it that, though I have so many friends, I feel... so alone?"

Lifting his head, he looked again to his silent celestial listener. Somehow, he took comfort in the bright, spherical moon. For him, it had always listened without complaint, providing comfort in its unsteady constance.

The foliage nearby rustled. A young man approached the figure and sat beside him. The man himself shifted to a similar position, putting his arm over the youth's shoulder as the boy returned the gesture. The twosome stared in silence for a time at the elder's nocturnal confidant.

"Errol, is everything going to be alright?"

The figure's eyes closed as if searching himself for an answer. Within the silence of his heart, he pictured the woman he loved so much.

Gloria... I promise, no matter what happens, I'll find ya and it'll be alright again... I promise you with all my soul...

Turning to his young companion, Errol mustered up a smile. He hugged the boy close and looked at him with reassuring, hope-filled eyes.

"Of course, Cory. Everything will be alright... as long as we're togetha."

lilbluecorsola
April 15th, 2005, 02:07 PM
Here I am. =D

Pretty good. Description, while nothing amazing, was good. Length was a little short, but that's fine.

Seeing as I have no idea who the guy in your avatar is, I really didn't understand the concept of this fic, but that's okay. It was a good fic anyway.

IceKing
April 15th, 2005, 06:48 PM
I have no clue who its talkign about :)

Likes
Description was good
Nice vocabulary
Emotion portrayed very nicely!

Dislikes
Kinda short
Kind of confusing

I was hooked easily because you showed his sadness so well! Emotion is so much better when pointed out, not explained. It was a little short and confusing; I didn't really know what was going on and I wasn't sure if the last line was hinting at some shipping between those two guys

mizu-dragon
April 16th, 2005, 10:15 AM
Thanks for reviewing!
XD my problem is that I write about things that are lesser known. It's a loooooooooong story, pm me if interested.... but anyway, I was trying to make it somewhat understandable for even the least informed person. You don't need to know who Errol is to understand his pain - but it's good that I've sparked an interest. That tells me I have succeeded.
And, IceKing, to clear up your confusion, they are not shipping but they have been together ever since Errol had to leave Gloria behind, and even though he's younger, Cory kind of comforts him a lot.

Thanks everyone! ^_^ *is very happy*