View Full Version : Memoirs of a Ghostly Old Geezer

April 19th, 2005, 04:04 AM
Okay, this is the first decent fanfic of mine that I feel compelled to continue. The title sucks, I know. It sounded good in my head... >_>;

I think my brain went through a series of haemorrages while writing this. I killed half the rules of proper grammar and seriously injured the rest. I think I had an excuse at one point, but I probably killed it too. Constructive criticism is welcome, but bear in mind that I've probably had a stroke over the same grammatical error you've just noticed. EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS GETS A COOKIE! http://c.1asphost.com/squiqsprites/cookie.png :D

Chapter One

So you want a story? Oh, well, alright. Just dont complain if I forget something, or get sidetracked. Im getting old, you know, even for a ghost. One hundred and three years old today, and thats in human years mind. Ive spent most of my life in a forest, near Lavender Town. Horrid town, horrid tower. Thats why I left, come to think of it. Whats that? You want the story? Im getting to it! Is there no patience in the world these days? Now, the forest? Yes, I remember

Almost there come on girl; youre just a foot away. Ahhh. Thats it. Down you go. I love screams like that, nicely bloodcurdling with just the right amount of hysteria. Ooh, and theres the thud. You wont be coming out of there for a long time. Youre the first person to come by in how long? A week? Make that a week and a half. And even thats unusually quick around these parts. Have a nice time festering down that hole!

I drift over the pit, cackling gleefully. Its quite a nice trap by my standards. When you cant move things with your hands its quite an achievement to strategically place anything. Still, I manage. I have traps dotted all over this forest. The tourist rate is quite low, so the odd disappearance isnt really noticed. Its a dark, gloomy forest, so most of the people who come here are suffering from something or other and wont be missed by whoever they ran away from. You wouldnt believe how many depressed teenagers from Lavender Town I get. Im doing them a favour, really. If I were depressed, Id like a nice pit to cool off in. Wakes them up to the realities of life, it does, such as the necessity to eat worms once their food supply runs out.

This particular girl is around seventeen. Shes quite pretty by human standards. Blonde, with a heart shaped face and bright blue eyes. Probably running away from some guy who dumped her for whatever reason. She looks more triumphant than frightened or confused. Odd that. Her leg is at an odd angle and shes sitting on the wrong part of it. And shes bleeding from where she hit a particularly sharp stick. Why is she laughing? Hey, that looks almost like a radio. What does she think shes doing? And is that a hat I see? Its blue. Sort of familiar, really I wonder where Ive seen that before?

A colourful sphere hurtles past me. A Pokeball? I look up at shock at the blue hat. The face of Officer Jenny is underneath it, staring straight at me. Woah, woah. What did I ever do to her? Time for evasive tactics. Im already invisible, so its evident she can see me somehow. She must have that new Silph Scope everyones talking about.

I fly into her face, well, through it really, letting loose a classic maniacal laugh it was quite a chilling one, if I do say so myself. With the amount of wannabe evil characters skulking around it was very difficult to achieve a good laugh, moreso to be rightfully proud of it! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, flying at Jenny. She isnt fazed at all, just twists around and lobs another Pokeball at my back. Now, I have excellent senses on both the physical and astral planes, and let me tell you, a Pokeball is no easy thing to track. Luckily I was already extraordinarily insubstantial from flying through Jennys head (Im too old and weak to do that now, it takes too much energy for an old geezer like me, but in my day I was something special) so it passed right through me and hit a tree. By now I really am startled! Now, Im no psychic, but as anyone whos been through someone elses mind can tell you, its not hard to pick up traces of what that person was thinking at the time. Jennys thoughts were just plain strange! Then again, what can you expect from someone with such a large, identical family? The confusion mustve addled some of their brains by now.

Jenny stares at me. I stare back. Shes throwing Pokeballs at me left and right where does she get all these? and its taking all my energy to keep out of her reach. I cant go through a tree and escape; it takes effort to go truly insubstantial. Not being able to move material items is one thing, but consciously moving through something is another. Thats the thing about good old Mother Nature, when a good, honest soul defies her laws shell do all she can to either right his wrong or annoy the hell outta him. Sometimes I hate being dead. Not now. Its proving a major advantage. For one thing, the fella who just tried to swipe me with a net is learning a major lesson in life; stupidity is incurable. I laugh in his face and spit some poisonous gunk at him. He wont be troubling me for a while.
Andy! Jenny cries. Her eyes widen in horror and she drops the Pokeball shes holding. (It actually falls on the head of some poor Oddish and captures it, but I dont think Jenny really cares much about team expansion right now.) She rushes over to Andy and tries to pull the gunk off his face. I do my best to sidle away but she shoots me such a glare that I feel I have to stay, at least to see an angry, frantic police officer.
Andy, are you okay? Shes almost in hysterics now. I suddenly see the resemblance between them: spiky blue hair, brown eyes, pale skin. Perhaps hes a younger brother. This is getting interesting.

So interesting, in fact, that I dont even register the Pokeball that hits me from behind. Go figure.

April 19th, 2005, 01:24 PM
WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*laughter continues for several lines, but deleted due to spamminess* TOO cool. I think I like it. *swipes cookie*

The grammar stuff wasn't really that bad, considering that we're talking about a ghost's dialect. Personally, I think this looks good. A little short, though...

*drops onto ground gnawing cookie* I think I'll keep my eyes on this... SB

April 19th, 2005, 03:07 PM
Yeah, I know it's short. When I first wrote it sometime last century I had some idea of where it was going, but when I finished that chapter I'd forgotten completely. That was probably because I finished writing at 10pm x_x

April 19th, 2005, 03:16 PM
*winces* 10 pm, nasty...

So, when can we expect teh next chapter? Or is that all of it? *is hit by truck* Owww... SB

April 19th, 2005, 03:21 PM
Hmm.. well, let me see... I'm not sure when you'll get the next one, but it'll probably be quite quick relative to when I get the third one done, due to school coming up and a giant science project due which I've barely started x_x. But other than that, it should all be fairly quick.. eheh.. ^_^;

April 19th, 2005, 04:41 PM
Poor kid.

Well, I'll wait.

Oh, and I found a problem.
I drift over the pit cackling.
I'll just feed it into the reconstructor.
I drift over the pit, cackling gleefully.
^It looked wrong without the comma, and wrong with a comma and one word after it. SB

April 19th, 2005, 05:37 PM
Ooh, yes, thankyou for pointing that out. I'll go change that.