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Bono, Ruler of Earth
April 25th, 2005, 08:33 PM
I've decided to write my most insane fanfiction yet. If you like anime, you'll like this. Maybe. It's got Azumanga Daioh, Evangelion, Hellsing, Wolf's Rain, Witch Hunter Robin, FLCL, Naruto, Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, Pokemon...oh who am I kidding, it's basically got every anime in existence. :laugh:


And now the first chapter.

Chapter One: Flirting with Insanity



Tokyo 3, Japan

Shinji Ikari strode through the futuristic city, his eyes glancing towards the ground.
Why did you call on me father?! After all these years?
Why here, why Robo-Paris 3?! WaitRobo-Paris 3?! The hell?! This isnt Tokyo-3!
Shinji looks at a sign that says Robo-Paris 3 and has a picture of a large Frenchman gnawing on a turkey.
DangI messed up again
Hello
A large metal turkey, a turkey-bot, clomps up to him and begins speaking, as fog from an unseen fog machine starts flowing around.
I am The Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future in the year 3531, to tell you of the danger of the Bob Dole Mutan-
Shinji just shakes his head and shakes a fist to the sky.
Enough ATHF references you stupid fool!
A giant hand comes down from the sky and picks Shinji up roughly by the collar, moving him across the continents and oceans to Tokyo-3 and flicks him over there.
A belch is heard from the heavens and a large monstrosity falls from the sky and onto Tokyo-3.

Gendo Ikari folds his hands in front of his face, and stares as the large gigantic Robo-Bob Dole lands onto Tokyo-3.
Sothe first Seraph of the Message of Gods Final Truth has come. The First Angel
An older man who looks slightly like Jay Leno turns to Gendo.
Yes, yet this isnt the First Angel, right? I mean, this is like the Third or something, Im not sure
Gendo growls.
Yeah, whatever, its the first darn angel the readers see, isnt it, and I dont have time to explain Evangelion to you, moron
Well
Whats that?! The Angel has attack! The ground is shaking!
Gendo pulls his pistol out and starts fake stumbling around, and then pulls the trigger, shooting the Sub-Commander in the foot.
Sempai! Are you alright! No!
Fuyukitsu just slumps over, groaning.
Yeah

Shinji woke up, sweat flowing down his face, the familiar voice of his droning teacher piercing through his head.
Muah Muah Muah Muah Muah Muah Muah, Second Impact (Think Charlie Brown. :D)
Shinji shook his head and mumbled to himself as the rest of the class fidgeted in their seats.
What kind of dream was that?!
Suddenly the bell rang and class was dismissed, Touji and Kensuke bouncing off the walls as Asuka spit venom at them. Shinji simply walked off quietly out of his room and towards his apartment, disgruntled by the strange dream.
Asuka quickly caught up to him and Shinji couldnt help but release a slight shiver. He had mixed feelings about the Second Child. She made him feel odd at times and he wasnt sure exactly what he thought of her. He of course knew how she probably felt about him, she did express it every minute of the day.
Hey idiot Shinji, why the long face huh? Is it because your little Wonder-Doll wasnt at school today?
Shinji just shrugged, letting the insults brush past him, which made Asuka grumble, irritated.
He mumbled quietly. We have synch-testing today, I bet Dr. Akagi will get angry if were late again.
With that the Third Child quickly ran ahead towards NERV HQ, leaving a curious but angry Asuka in the dust.



Rome, Italy
The Vatican

Father Alexander Anderson leaned against the wooden fence, watching his Sunday School students frolic around in the grass. The wind blew past his spiky golden hair, waving his coat and roman collar. He slowly rubbed the stubble that had grown all over his face. He smirked and then continued carving an intricate crucifix out of a block of deadwood he had found laying around.
A stout old man with the familiar dress of a priest strode up towards Anderson, nodding his head towards the paladin in recognition. Father Bernadelli leaned against the fence close to Anderson and spoke.
Father Anderson, Father Maxwell needs you. It is urgent. If you would graciously follow me?.
Anderson smiled and nodded, following Bernadelli into the interior of the large building behind them. Making their way through a dark, winding corridor full of holy scriptures and crucifixes on the walls. He made a sharp turn and entered an expansive, dark room with a desk in the middle.
A single figure sat behind the desk, glasses glinting with the little light in the room, his long hair flowed back behind him and ended in a knot. Father Enrico Maxwell smiled warmly at Anderson, who had just entered.
He was the leader of Vatican Section VIII, the Iscariot Agency, built to destroy demons, the undead, heathens, and all special enemies of Catholicism in general. And this leering Irishman, this special creature, Alexander Bayonet Anderson, Alexander Paladin Anderson, this man was his main weapon.
Maxwell nodded and spoke, his powerful yet still young voice echoing in the room.
Adam has been located
Andersons mouth hung open slightly, but after a brief pause, he spoke, an odd grin playing across his face.
Ya dinna say?


Earths Orbit

An odd ship floated around the blue planet and then slowed, as voices inside were raised.
ED!? Did you eat all the eggs again!?
The child continued to type rapidly on the computer, ignoring the bald mans complaint. The screen flashed and the light from it played against their faces as the man lowered his head to see the screen.
Look what Ed found!, spoke the child.
Hmmm? BountyRyoujiKajiinternational spy and agent for various organizations.NERVSEELEthe JapaneserewardThree million woolongs?!
The Bebop slowly made its descent into Earths atmosphere.


Tokyo 3, Japan
Bureau of Interstellar Immigration Agency Headquarters

Sir, there is an unidentified object descending from space almost directly towards our position!
Commander Amarao stirred in his seat as his assistant, Kitsurubami spoke, his left eyebrow hanging precariously off his head as he dropped the spicy bread he had been munching on.
What the hell? How big is it? And where is its estimated impact location?
Amarao fidgeted, Is it heading for us or just Tokyo 3?
She paused, staring at the date on the screen. Well, it seems to be heading towards Tokyo 2.
Amarao paused and then rose quickly as he stared intently at the date flowing across the screen.
Kitsurubami noticed it as well, and stared, sweat dripping off her brow. Amaraos eyes bugged out slightly and his left eyebrow departed, slick with sweat, simply drifting to the ground. The countdown to collision continued. 10987654321.
Amarao stumbled backwards and slammed his head on the ground as the countdown stopped abruptly, simply struck by the tension.
Commander, the object has halted approximately 20 feet over its position in downtown Tokyo 2.
The Commander nodded from his position on the ground, and remained laying there, feeling quite lightheaded.
Ready the agents for possible battle, they will come with you and I to directly investigate this foreign intruder.
She nodded and moved off towards the locker room as Amarao scratched his forehead, laying there on the floor, blood trickling from a slight cut in his forehead.
What the hell was that?


The Outskirts of Tokyo 2

Ryouji Kaji leaned against the wall, staring at the large, abandoned room. There sat a single unplugged telephone on a box in the middle of the room with white walls. He shifted his eyes over the scene and looked at the doorknob opening.
He reached for the pistol in his white coat and stared at the door, which creaked open only slightly and stopped, allowing a ray of light to intrude in the dark room. Kaji quickly moved to the wall parallel to the door and turned his head slightly into the small lane of light. A craggy, yet obviously feminine voice spoke up.
Its me
Ah, so it is
A small woman sat on the steps leading to the building, feeding a group of cats as she spoke. A clunky red scooter lay on its side next to the building.
This is Shannon Bio Incorporated, a foreign chemical firm. Its been like this for nine yearsNine years and not a single challenge. So far 106 corporations out of 108 affiliated with the Marduk Institute have turned out to be dummy companies
Kaji stared intently, And so this one is the 107th.
This is the companys registration papers
Kaji peered at the paper that the woman had revealed, hidden in a fashion magazine.
Ah, and youd like me to look at the board of directors, am I right?
You mean you already knew about this?
Kaji moved a few inches closer although so he was just barely inside the building.
Yes, I know most of the names
He paused and then continued.
The Marduk Institute is supposed to be an advisory body controlled by the Human Instrumentality Committee designed to select Evangelion pilotsyet something doesnt seem right.
The womans voice became sterner, yet they remained in their positions, Kaji barely inside the building, the woman not turning.
Your task is to investigate NERV. I would not recommend getting involved with the Marduk Institute or the Committee
Well I cant help it, my nose for trouble and my constant curiosity always puts me in situations I suppose.
Kaji shut the door and stepped back into the building. The woman simply stood slowly, rubbing the cats fondly and then stepping onto her scooter.


Outskirts of London, England
Hellsing Headquarters

Integra Hellsing leaned against her chair, reading the budget report for the last incident in Westshire. Bloody hellthe damage costs for Hellsings operations are getting higher and higher
Someone entered the room unbeknownst to the mumbling young woman and cleared his throat.
Ah, Walter, do you have something for me?
The butler bowed politely.
Yes Sir Integra, we have intercepted a message from a certain group I think youd be interested in
The Vatican?!
Yes, Rome, but not only that, Vatican Section XIII
Iscariot Agency?!
Yes, they have deployed their agent to Tokyo 2, Japan. NERV headquarters to be exact
NERV? The Agency created by the UN, am I right? Im not quite familiar with itwhy what business would Rome have with NERV
Integras eyes widened and she peered at Dornez.
Wait a minuteAgentYou dont mean?
Yesthe one known as Father Alexander Anderson


Tokyo 2, Japan

The gray van shook violently as it sped down the ruined freeway, pieces of asphalt and stone lay all over it, making it a peril for drivers. Amaraos odd eyebrows and reddish-brown hair fluttered slightly in the wind from the open window although the eyebrows more or less flapped, and he peered at Kitsurubami driving. A shiver went up her spine and she slightly crumpled her face in disgust as she saw his gaze. She was getting tired of his advances. He slowly got the idea and turned his head towards the back of the van to see Kitsurubamis rocket launcher and the agents in black suits with black sunglasses and their black pistols, all staring calmly ahead in space.
Let out a gasp and pointed at the sky. Amarao stared at the Bebop, his eyes bulging. What the heck? Is it releasing a pod or smaller spacecraft or something?!
Amarao frantically motioned for Kitsurubami to step on the gas and they sped towards the scene.


Outskirts of Tokyo 2, Japan

Kaji paused as the doorknob to the abandoned Shannon Bio building turned once more. This time he reached even more quickly than before for his nine millimeter and quickly put a two bullets into the door, not even waiting to see who it is. He knew it had to be Section Two.
Spike Spiegel burst through the door, kicking it down, the bullets from the man barely missing him. Quickly drawing his pistol he aimed it at the mans head and fired two shots.
Kaji barely managed to stumble back, crashing backwards through the wall of the building as one bullet slammed into his left shoulder, propelling him even more. The left side of the building led to a sheer drop into the local river, and Kaji slammed into it with great force, knocking his gun out of his hand and onto the river bank.
Spike swore and bounded towards the shattered wall, peering out it and into the river. Swearing once more and clenching his fists he made his way down into the riverbank.


Tokyo 3, Japan
NERV Headquarters, Control Room

Shinji sighed as he sat in his plug suit in the entry plug of Unit 01.
Why the hell is this taking so long?!, moaned a familiar red-headed demon
Ritsukos voice came over the communicator.
Sorry Asuka but its important that were aware of your synch ratios, just in case they fluctuate dramatically. You can never be too careful
Misato leaned in towards Ritsuko and whispered.
Where the hell is the Commander?
I dont know Major, he did tell me to keep the pilots here until he returned
Although the pilots hadnt heard this, it almost seemed like they had.
Shinji sighed once more, Asuka growled and grumbled and Rei.well Rei was still having a staring contest with her controlsand it seemed like she would soon be victorious.


Tokyo 3, Japan
NERV Headquarters, Central Dogma

Gendo Ikari, commander of one of the most powerful organizations in the world, stared up at the hulking ivory behemoth crucified to the large crimson cross in front of him.
Something strange has been occurring with Lillith quite recently. It is not supposed to be able to move, not before my scenario is enacted. Nothing shall stop me from being reunited with you.
.Yui
Gendo clutched the little vial in his gloves, inside were two pink jewel shards.
The old man stared at the Commander nervously. These are the shards of the Shikon Jewel. They are said to be very powerful in magic and. Gendo ignored the man. Simply another peddler, and Gendo was impatient to catch his limousine back to NERV Headquarters. But for some reason he picked the vial up from the mans offering hand. He was drawn to them. And when the vial touched his fingers, even with the barrier of glass he could feel something odd, some tangible power that the jewels seemed to be projecting. He quickly paid the man and departed.
Slowly stepping onto the small hovercraft he had requisitioned from NERV Defense, he floated up towards Lillith until he was almost face to face with it. The hovercraft flew towards Lilliths left hand and paused there as Gendo controlled it. His glasses glinting in the odd light of the chamber, Gendo slowly pulled out the large hammer he had carried with him and placed his hand on the vial, slowly twisting the cap.
It is time





A few notes that weird dream scene at the beginning was actually the first part of a humorous Eva fanfiction I abandoned because it was too lame. So I just grabbed it and threw it here. BWAHHAHAAH!
By the way, I do know Kajis rendezvous was in Kyoto! Im an Eva-Freak, of course I know that. But this is a fanfic so I simply changed the location to suit my story. So there!

And by the way again, Im crossovering more characters from other animes too, dont think Hellsing, FLCL, Bebop, and Inuyasha is the end of it.no, no, no, I have my whole scenario planned out. *Steeples his hands in front of his face to hid his evil grin*