View Full Version : Timelines

April 26th, 2005, 3:44 PM
This is a story that I have began writing and plan to write a series of books from Timelines. I am writing Timelines, not to get you confused and make you want to go out and figure out what it's about. The first one is the one I'm working on now that is simply called Timelines. The next one I think I'll call The Mind World, byt I'm not sure. But anyways, here's the prologue for The first book.

April 28th, 2005, 3:17 PM
That prolouge was fantastic, a really good way to introduce the story to readers of what to expect later on, and what this story is all about. And not only did you do that but you also gave details about the peaceful environment around her, so your able to have a sense of the relaxation she might feel at night on top of the rocks ^^.

The only thing is that in the prolouge, the ending of it dousn't leave much to the reader to really come back to. Don't get me wrong, its very nicely written but there dousn't seem to be a conflict thats being delt with.

That was sort of nitpicking, but great job nonetheless ^^'.

April 28th, 2005, 7:11 PM
I love this prolouge. <3 However, some sentences could be misleading sometimes. xD I suggest reading your chapter over once you've finished typing. xD

Keep it up! n_n

May 31st, 2005, 5:33 PM
Could a moderator please lock and close this thread? I've decided not to post my story online. I might get it published and copyrighted someday and I would not like for it to get stolen from someone over the internet.

Thank you!