PDA

View Full Version : Roses are Red (General, Humor)


Yetsu
May 18th, 2005, 11:10 AM
Title: Roses are Red

Author: Chibi/Warlordess

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Forgive me.

Summary: But wild flowers... Aren't. A long day of revenge plans form between Misty and May when they realize that Ash has given them both a V-Day gift. Is he two-timing them? Pokeshipping? Advanceshipping? One-shot. :)

Warning: Contains Pokeshipping, Advanceshipping, and a complete loss of morals. Hopefully this will never happen again.

-

Ash: 14

Misty: 16

May: 11

-

Ash Ketchum had always been a pretty easy person to understand. He was a preteen who had his hobbies and was always straight forward about what he had to say. He was just. . . Ash.

But, dense as he may have always been, Ash had been brought up to know how to respect a girl. Well, at least when he had to. And his mother would kill him if he didn't get something for those certain respective females that he spent everyday with.

So it was every girl's favorite holiday; Valentine's Day. And Ash had a problem. He, Misty, and May, traveling together for the first time without another male, were currently in the middle of nowhere. That meant no shops, no stands, not even a roadside trader. And no Brock around to pull a bouquet out from behind his back.

It was 2:30 a.m. when the idea finally came to him.

Ash had been laying in his sleeping bag, unable to rest for the past four and a half hours because he couldn't think of a way out of his predicament. He never would have taken something like this so seriously before now, but this year seemed different, somehow. Call it hormones, but he just wanted to do something for his greatest female friends.

Now let's move on to them...

May, the youngest of the group, currently sleeping soundly, was enjoying a nice dream about her Pokemon and the victory of prevailing over all other Coordinators in the official tournament. There was Drew, looking totally bummed but not exactly ready to resent all of the things he'd said about her, her best female friend, Misty, cheering for her win, and Ash, her coach, the guy who'd gotten her this far. She gave him another wink and a peace sign and he waved with a proud laugh. Her younger brother stood beside him, torn somewhat between disbelief and a level of his own pride. She stuck her tongue out at him and then turned to the judges to receive her trophy...

Next was Misty, not exactly sleeping but not exactly awake to the world around her either. Misty was definitely in a deep trance, unable to awaken from the thoughts of later that day, when she hoped something special would happen. She was a romantic after all, and so her grandest-ever dream was to wake up to a potential boyfriend to wrap her arms around. Someone special, just for her.

Sighing, Misty opened her eyes and turned red. There was Ash, his face in the opposite direction so that she could stare at him freely. She hadn't been able to do this directly for awhile now. When she'd left at that time for Cerulean City, the only thing she had to remember Ash by was a picture she'd managed to convince him to pose for. She said it was the least that he could do for her, since he wrecked her bike and forced her to travel around the country with him. He had obviously agreed.

Now, finally feeling like she was back where she belonged, Misty felt content, if not a little worried that she would slip up and reveal how she felt for the boy. But these current worries didn't override her need for sleep, and Misty felt herself dropping off into that sweet, lovely dream world that she couldn't wait to meet every night...

But unlike everyone's favorite female Pokemon trainer's, Ash was nowhere near sleepy-town. Finally tuning into the finest details of his plan, he cautiously removed himself from the cover of his blankets and stepped into his trainers, making sure that none of his companions would realize that he'd gone in the first place.

The world was darker than before around him, thanks to the lack of the camp light flames and the overgrowth of the trees around him. He couldn't even see the moon. It seemed highly unlikely that he would find a suitable gift for them in the area, but Ash was Ash... Meaning that he was very optimistic. Plus, he wasn't a gardener so he wouldn't have known that plants actually needed sun to grow.

Yes; that was his plan. He was going to pull a Bellsprout on them. He was hoping to find some flowers that he could give as a simple, easy present. They couldn't pin anything on him if he explained his mothers' insane wishes that he do something like that, could they?

Anyway, after walking for about a half-an-hour, Ash began to grow tired again. He looked around and found nothing excitable. He looked at the ground and found nothing but dirt... Not exactly something that gives the impression that you're hoping to thank a girl for what they've done for you... Finally, looking up, Ash's eyes brightened for the first time since he started out on the trip.

On one of the highest-most branches of a tree, intertwined with a vine extending from the ground to about thirty feet up, were a batch of wild flowers. The word perfect resounded throughout Ash's head as he leapt at the bark and began to make his climb, thinking nothing of the length-span that he would be working at.

He could feel a fire burning through his palms from the rough texture of the tree as he pulled his weight up the trunk, and his toes felt cramped like nothing before. Finally he was just two feet below the point where he'd be able to grasp the flowers in his hands... He removed one from around the thin trunk to reach for them...

...

...And felt himself slipping away. He gave a gasp and silent yell as the ground came speeding at him, or vice versa, and then did the first thing that came to his mind.

"Go... Taillow! Catch me before I hit the ground!" A pokeball thrown and a flash of red light later and the Flying-type Pokemon appeared below him and extended its claws, grasping Ash at his collar and letting him down softly. When he'd hit the ground, he thanked his friend and took out another Pokeball, calling out his current Grass-type stated, "Grovyle, can you use a Razor Leaf and cut those flowers from up there?"

If Ash had been a bit more awake and... Well... A bit more smart, he would have thought of that plan in the first place. But in any case, the job was finished and all he needed to do now was be sure that the girls received his gift.

-

Misty didn't open her eyes when she first felt the sun against her lids. Instead, she mumbled something about her mallet and the lack of any future mornings and buried herself in her covers again. She took a deep breath, once under, and then her eyes blinked open. She smelt something.

Not something nasty, or anything. Not an odor or food or anything like that... It was just something... Nice. She felt around sleepily and her fingers curved around the stems of three simple flowers. Throwing off the top of her sleeping bag, Misty stared at them, unsure of what to think. And then she saw the tag.

"Best wishes today. Thanks for everything you've done." There was a small animated smiley face next to the words, making Misty's heartbeat race to the level of a young Rattata. There was no way that... Not Ash... But there was no mistaking the messy scribble that he argued to be his handwriting.

Misty felt a small squeal of delight crawl up into her throat, no matter how much she tried to subdue it. She jumped to her feet and turned around, almost expecting to see Ash staring at her with that smile he always wore when something went perfectly according to plan, but fell to the ground in embarrassment when she saw him sprawled on his back, snoring peacefully.

Sweatdropping, Misty sighed... She knew that she had been expecting too much... But at least he had thought about her... And that was saying something, right?

Especially since it's today... Misty grinned softly to herself, thinking about the possibilities.

She then turned when she heard a yawn from her other female companion and looked at May as she rose from her back.

"...Oh, hey Misty. You're up all ready?" May began to reach her feet in order to stretch her legs, but then drew from under her blankets... "What's this?" Misty looked too, after wishing May a good morning.

And she felt her whole dreamy world start to fall apart.

"Best wishes today. Thanks for everything you've done. Huh; isn't that sweet of Ash?" May smiled up at Misty, and then saw the flowers in her hands, "Oh, you got some two? It's nice that he shows his appreciation for us, isn't it?" She let out a small laugh, "I wonder why he chose today, though...?"

"May, don't you remember? Today's Valentines Day!" Misty stated, collapsing to the ground and readied herself for rant mode, "And we shouldn't be thanking her! We should beat the crap outta him! Don't you get it? He's playing us!" Misty scoffed in anger, "What a two-timer!"

"Two-timer? But... Isn't he just thanking us for being there for him when he's needed it? I mean, granted, you've been there longer than I have..." May winked at Misty, "But I don't think that Ash is really capable of..."

"...I don't care what you don't think he's capable of! I just know he's planning something! Why else would he give us both such a sweet gift! That's not like him at all!"

"Well, maybe he's just a gentleman..."

"May... This is Ash we're talking about here."

May let herself sweatdrop respectably, "You're right; forget I said anything." They sat in silence for about ten minutes, just staring (or glaring) at Ash while he continued to snore away, "So, uh, should we do something about it?"

"Well, I'd say remove his clothes and dump them in the nearest river, but that would seem a little obvious, so..." Misty's eyes suddenly brightened, "I've got it! I think I'll make some breakfast."

May, who'd never had the displeasure of tasting Misty's horrifying excuse for cooking, stared at the redhead and blinked, "Er... You're going to get even by giving him his morning meal in bed? Sounds like a really worthy revenge plan, Misty..."

"Hey, don't get sarcastic with me, May! I make a real mean sunny-side-up egg, if I dare say so."

"But... Never mind. Do you want my help?"

"Nah, just get me some firewood. I think that I can manage the rest myself."

-

When Misty woke up, the first thing she smelt was flowers. When May woke up, the first thing she smelt was the fresh air. When Ash woke up, the first thing he smelt was... Well... There was really no distinct word for it. It was like a mixture of burnt sugar, rotten eggs, and, strangely enough, peanut butter. He didn't know what to expect when he first peeked out of his sleeping bag, but he knew that a second later, a huge plate of solid grass on rye bread was not it.

He could only remember one other time when he'd smelt something so awful.

"No... No...!" Ash backed away cautiously, afraid that whatever was next to him was going to make a leap for him at any moment. He knew what this was...

"Good morning, Ash! May and I just wanted to thank you so very much for the flowers this morning! They mean a lot to us, really! That's why we decided to work together to make this excellent breakfast for you! May got the fire and dishes ready and I cooked." Well, as if that wasn't all ready obvious to everyone.

"Pika...!" Pikachu wailed, stealing Ash's Hoenn cap and diving beneath of it, and Ash thought of it was a good plan... If only he was four feet shorter.

"Oh, how... How very... Look, Misty, I hate to disappoint you, but you know that your cooking isn't... It isn't exactly... Edible..." Hooray for the biggest understatement of the year! Good one, Ash!

"But I've been taking lessons!" Misty cried hurriedly before Ash made to pick up the plate and dump it as far away from their camp grounds as possible, "I'm sure that it tastes better now; really!"

"Um... Maybe it's just me, then. The smell reeks, is all." Ash let a laugh out and took his first bite, while May actually managed to restrain Misty from jumping him for his comment.

"Look, you attack him now and Ash might just realize that this is all really a revenge plan. Just play it cool." May looked Misty in the eyes, "Er... Just don't send him to the Emergency Room."

They both looked up to see Ash staring at them, his eyes watering from the pain and a look of suspicion in his eyes. He couldn't have been catching on, could he?

"Um, excuse us, Ash! Pikachu, keep an eye on him and make sure he eats everything!" Misty winked at the small electric rodent, "There will be a bottle of ketchup in it for you later!" And the taller of the two pulled the smaller with her behind the bushes, where they crouched out of sight, "Okay, May; we're going to have to work even harder. I think he's starting to figure it all out."

"Really? Wherever did you get that idea?" May asked with a skeptical glance in the male trainer's direction. It looked like he was trying to beg Pikachu not to shock him if he threw the plate of food away, but from the distance that she was viewing from, she couldn't be sure.

"Look, let's just do this..." And Misty began to whisper into May's ear.

When they emerged fifty seconds later, they noticed that Ash had managed to force half of the food down his throat by eating it all in one bite, then managing to swallow before some of his taste buds had caught the food well enough to distinguish it.

"Wow, Ash! I'm glad that you like it...!" Misty said, getting his attention.

He looked up and half-glared, but it died in his eyes as he caught sight of them.

The flowers that he had so ungraciously managed to bring them were now intertwined in their hair. May's were tucked half underneath of her bandanna, lighting it up with their extreme colors of yellow and orange, and Misty's were tied into her ponytail holder, the colors accenting her hair.

They both looked -- dare he say it? -- pretty.

Ash blushed, afraid that the comment might escape him if he didn't hold it back. In order to do so, he bit of the estranged excuse for food into his mouth and began chewing extremely, not remembering the horrible taste until it was too late.

"Hurry up, Ash! We need to get to the next town before the day after tomorrow!" Misty and May both managed to hold back their laughter as they walked away and began put away their things.

-

Ash felt his stomach rumble as they continued on the path. After the breakfast that he'd been given, he'd turned down lunch, afraid that Misty would boil him a bowl of mud, mistaking it for a deeply thick stew. So now, not only was he slightly embarrassed about the flower-thing, he was starving as well.

As for Misty and May, they were scuttling along behind him, discussing other ways to get back at him. Obviously making him actually lose his appetite wasn't enough for what he'd done.

Ash heard their whispering, but couldn't tell what they were saying. Somehow it reminded him of Sviper hissing loudly in the background. He shuddered, just knowing that whatever they had planned couldn't be good.

Finally, as the sun went down, Ash turned to his companions and clapped his hands together, "Okay, I think we've made some good distance! How about we stop here for tonight?" His stomach was now telling him that it completely agreed with this idea and Ash made a mental note to find a hidden group of bushes ASAP.

"Yea, good idea, Ash. I need to start on dinner anyway!" Misty gave him a smile that seemed to hide something and Ash, almost losing his mind, flailed his arms.

"No, no! After that... That breakfast, which has totally improved since last time, I think that I can handle it myself! How about you two just handle the dishes and drinks and Pikachu will help me out with starting a fire?"

"All right..." Misty's smile faltered a bit, knowing that this change of plans would affect their mission for the greater good. Then it widened again, "C'mon, May; you heard the Pokemon Master."

They pulled a few cups out of their backpack and, after Ash and Pikachu had gone, Misty also proceeded to pull out a pot. May lit the fire and Misty heated the water she'd stored in her canteen.

"So what do you plan on doing to him now?"

"What? You're not backing out on me, are you?" Misty couldn't help by notice the "you" in her statement.

"Well, no... It's just that I'm not really doing anything so I kinda just figured that..."

"Tell ya what? I'll let you melt these and then add them to the water!" Misty held up a small box, filled with laxatives, "You know that bug that Ash put in my sleeping bag last week? This was going to be my get-back plan for that prank, but I guess that it could serve for the greater-good. It all ties in together, doesn't it?" The slightly sickly grin on Misty's face almost made May back away, but at the same time, she was slightly intrigued about everything that would happen later.

"So... When do we give it to him?"

"How about after dinner, when his appetite has fixated on desert?" Another wink and handshake in agreement, and Misty and May cackled in glee at their brilliant idea.

Misty poured the beverage into her canteen and capped it, strapping it over her shoulder and leading May in the direction of Ash and Pikachu. When they got there, Ash had all ready prepared half of the meal. The girls sat beside them and Misty put the drink before her, remembering to remove a second canteen from her bag, containing ordinary water and safe for their own consumption.

When the food was finished cooking, they all settled down to eat, drinking in the sight of a much friendlier looking meal than the one Misty had made for Ash that morning. Ash was finished almost ten minutes before the rest of them, and was looking around for his canteen, which May had so inconspicuously stolen right after their arrival.

"Um, Misty, you haven't seen my..." He pointed to the spot where he'd thought he'd placed it but it obviously wasn't there, "My canteen's missing! Shoot, Misty, can I borrow yours?"

"Why, sure Ash. Take all that you need." As she stated this, Ash helped himself to her own water holder, immediately ripping the cap off.

The girls giggled as he placed the camping gear to his lips and he stopped. Finally it hit him and he lowered it back into his lap.

"Ugh! What the heck is going on with you two! You've been wierding me out all day long! I mean, first you wake up and try to feed me that pig slaw you call food and then you go and make yourselves look all nice with those flowers, and then you start giggling in the middle of dinner! Is something funny supposed to happen? Because I'm not seeing it." After stating this in one breath, Ash let himself take a drink.

Misty and May had become deathly serious.

"Look, Ash! Just because you may think highly of yourself doesn't mean that you can go around, trying to woo every girl that you meet! You make it seem like you're all we've got! You're just a playboy, Ash Ketchum!" Misty replied, jumping up from her seat.

"Excuse me?! What the heck are you talking about now?" Ash met her head on, taking another small gulp from the canteen.

"I'm talking about those stupid flowers that May and I found in our blankets this morning! What did you think we'd do, Ash? Huh? Did you expect us to come falling into your arms or something?!"

May picked up Pikachu and sat back, watching as the two got closer and closer to each other, almost so much that the spit flying from their mouths landed on each other's faces.

"Look, Misty! All I expected was a thank you! The only reason I got those stupid flowers for you was because my mom made me do it! She's a big fan of things like that and told me that Valentine's day was always the perfect holiday to show you care about someone! You and May mean a lot to me, being a couple of my best friends, and I wanted you to know that!"

"Then what was the stupid note about?! 'Best wishes today.' It was like you were leading us both on!"

"Are you kidding me, Misty?! You always read too much into these things! Why not just let the boat rock the way it's meant to! I thanked you for what you've done for me and hoped the best would happen!" Another, longer drink.

"So..." May spoke for the first time and, surprisingly when they both turned to her, her sharp gaze was on Misty, "You mean to tell us that all you were trying to do was show your appreciation for us being here?" May stated each word slowly, "Huh... Now Misty, I wonder why that thought sounds so entirely familiar?"

"Eh... Eh heh..." Misty gulped and then they both turned back to Ash, "No, wait! Don't drink anymore of that, Ash!" And Misty swatted the bottle from his hand.

"Oh no..." May moaned, "This isn't going to look, or smell, pretty..."

"What...?" Ash let out a sudden groan, "...Ugh... W-what did you... Misty...! What did you put in..." At that moment he broke off and made a run for the bushes.

Misty and May hurriedly picked up their things.

"You know what, Ash? You're right... I read way too much into things! I think that May and I are going to just leave you alone for the rest of the night; you know, let you cool off...!" And they made their own mad leap for the opposite direction.

-

[Twenty minutes later...]

"Oh, man! I don't have the toilet paper! Pikachu?" Ash's voice rung solemnly from his position beside the camping ground, "Misty?! MAY?! PIKACHU!"

---

Notes: The end. Wahahah! So, Chibi was actually impartial in this fic?! No way! Amazing! I love being so great! Now review!

mistywishmaker
May 21st, 2005, 12:20 PM
Whaaa! That's so good! And it's so detailed, too! (I would have prefered Misty to end up with Ash, but it was funny!) It was perfect in every way! The eggs part was funny ^_^

Yetsu
May 26th, 2005, 03:05 PM
Thanx so much! I wrote that back in Febuary obviously, but I still think it's good. I usually don't like my fics after I've finished writing them... I prefer to keep writing because of it.

And don't worry. I have TONS of AAMR fics; I just haven't posted them yet...

Sapphire Crystal
May 30th, 2005, 02:12 AM
Lol funny fic! The breakfast thing was funny XD

Yetsu
May 31st, 2005, 09:18 AM
Oh, thanks so much! I was hoping I'd get another comment... You've made my day. I'm glad that you liked it. Look forward to more. ~.^ (Kiss, kiss.)