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Pro_EV
May 25th, 2005, 06:19 PM
Hey. If you've been in Serebiiforums, you know me as Korimura, or kobrelaire. Since not many people are replying to my stories :( I'm posting them in other forums. So here we go! Please read and review! :classic:

Prologue

Eee!

Eevee!

Ee!

Three Eevees bunched up together and made an adorably cute face and tried to catch the bypassers attention. They were bored to death waiting on the stupid pokemon farm, penned with a small wooden fence, just waiting to grow up so they could become slot prizes. However, if they were bought before they were sent to Mauvile Citys game corner, in Hoenn, they would become part what they thought was a regular Pokemons life, battling, having a trainer, and stuff like that. They were pruned and combed at everyday with hard scratchy combs, and pummeled with groomers, trying to make them look their best. But from now on, there would be nothing of the sort. A wild pack of Tauros had agreed to break down the thin fence and distract the idiots who ran this farm.

The only thing theyd miss was the little stable girl that worked around here randomly and always brought them little treats. She probably didnt even have a family or home. But she was 10 today, and everyone in Tulip Town, Novan Isle, abandoned or not, would become a trainer. She had already gone though. Passed by several hours ago, carrying another Eevee with a slight tinge of pink around its fur. Probably one of those strange-colored pokemon that loved to flash its color off.

The oldest Eevee, whose fur was flat, Saiope, snorted, remembering the pink Eevees tongue poking out at them as she passed. When are the Tauros coming?

The second oldest was a messy looking Eevee, Saiome, also recalled the Eevees tongue, then grinned at the memory of the girl giving a small warning to the Eevee by nudging it with her foot. Beats me.

The youngest, who didnt have such a good memory, only remembered her newborn sister, Saiole. She was Saioke, the only girl in the trio. Her look was nice and silky Shouldnt we take Saiole with us? I mean, when she gets older, she go through the same thing like us

If you call older at least several hours later

Saiome pawed blissfully at the wooden planks of the gate. Theyre coming. Back off from this place.

Saiope gently picked up Saioke, who didnt have such as long legs as her brothers. Come on. No time to pick up Saiole

But- Saioke whimpered, still thinking about slot prizes.

If Saiole is smart enough, then she will find a way out, like us, with Saiobe. I think they should go tomorrow, but if I were Saiobe, then it would be today. But not with us, Saiole wont even grow up like us before she escapes. An hour is not growing up, Saiope said firmly, taking Saioke over to the shed in the middle of the coop to the water trough, where all the babies were kept. And no buts

Drink up sis Saiome added helpfully. It will be long till we find the first water source. Its somewhere in there he pointed a paw to the dark forests surrounding the farm. About 4 miles from here. And remember what Mr. Farmer said? Any Eevee that escaped would either be killed or brought back. We have to make it

Saiope quickly went off to grab their personal water bottles filled with milk that the farmers had given them. Here, strap it to your neck, and you can just tip your head down to drink. But dont. Drink your fill here
Saioke lowered her head and dipped her mane in the water and began to sip. Her reflection bounced off at her. Her mother had once said she looked so much like the just born Saiole.

Saiope strapped the water bottle to his sisters neck and looked at the shed sorrowfully and wondered if hed ever see his littlest sister again. He sank down to drink the cool water You too, Saiome. Drink up, drink up He left the thoughts of Saiole and thought about Saiobe. He was almost as old as himself, but awfully careless. If the two other Eevees that would escape with him survived the treacherous forest, it would be a miracle.

A loud bellow of a Tauros tore them all away from the trough. The lead Tauros was revving up his hooves on the other side of the fence. The rest of the pack were snorting decisively and plodding their hooves. Ready? snorted the leader, glancing for any sign of the farmers.

Saioke trembled, and nodded. Saiome got into a sprinting position. Saiope gently poked his sister and nodded. Ready

The leader gave a louder cry and charged forwards. The rest followed his lead instantly and followed, sending dust flying all over the dirt grounds. As soon as they made contact with the planks, Saiope nodded his signal to his siblings and speeded forth as well. Saiome tore away from the trough and followed suit, dodging between hooves and dust. Saioke took one last look at where her sisters present house was, and then fled through the gate and into the cover of dust that protected their scent from the farmers dogs and their colors.

Little Saiole finally had the courage to peer out from behind the trough and blinked away some tears, which shone until they had hit the dusty grounds. They were finally gone.

This is only the prologue, you know. It isn't supposed to be that long. :confused:

IceKing
May 26th, 2005, 04:17 PM
Word of advice: youre not gonna get as much reviews from other forums as you do in Serebii. Remember theres a fanfic reviewer board

LIkes
Eevee Descriptions
Plot, seems like its goign to be pretty interesting

Dislikes
Confusion (The Eevee names are very similar which can make it hard to knwo whose who)
Taurous Scene (You could have made the great escape more exciting)

I rate 6/10 so far. Good luck with next chapter :)

Breezy
May 30th, 2005, 05:36 PM
OMG, I remember this fic at the forum of which we do not speak of its name here! Where all the Eevees broke out when the Tauros rammed the fence down and Saiole was left behind, and I got extremely confused since all the names looked the same and all that fun stuff! ^_^ I always liked this fic, but then I couldn't find it again. It's an interesting take of how the Pokmon given away as slot prizes were raised and what they did.

Better comments with the first chapter, I promise. I can't review prologues for some reason lol.

There's a fanfic reviewers board at the forbidden forum Iceking? Since when? I never heard of that and I've been reviewing there for almost a year.