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Casual Billy
May 31st, 2005, 04:06 PM
WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT HAVE AN OPEN-MIND WHEN IT COMES TO THE POWERS AND ABILITIES OF LEGENDARY POKEMON SUCH AS CELEBI, suck it up and read anyway? j/k. DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS FIC IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO AND IN NO WAY BOUND BY THE CIRCUMSTANCES OR BOUNDARIES PRESENTED IN THE ANIME/GAMES.

CHAPTER 1

Hey, wake up. The two strange travelers lay in a grassy spot on the ground. Jay had awoken first of the two and he now turned his head to his left so that he might face his fellow wanderer. Celias dim and unconscious countenance lay so beautifully intertwined with the blades all about her, that Jay almost decided against waking her. But as the day drew nigh, uncertainties about this place into which they had fled also drew close. The sun slowly rose to Jays left side and light stretched out across the expansive land that separated the daybreaks origin from their place of rest. Jay poked Celias delicate shoulder this time, trying to call her from her slumber. She had a right to exhaustion, though. Their journey here had not been an easy or pleasant one. It had taken from them most of the strength that they had to overcome the forces that had tried to contain them.

Twinkling droplets of first lights refreshment lay scattered sporadically about the length of Celias unconscious body and as she shifted in her sleep. One dew drop slowly trickled from the side of her face down towards her eye. It opened slowly, revealing large and thick black rims about two brilliantly oceanic eyes.

Youre awake! Jay exclaimed. I wondered when youd finally come to. We made it, Celia. With this, the emerald-tinted forest nymph quickly sat up as the two small, wiry antennae lay flat on her head with the weight of the mornings dew. She stared into her fellow travelers jade-colored eyes surrounded by cold, grey steel skin. Jays pleasant visage was a comfort to her and he now smiled happily as teal-shaded wish tags hung carelessly from his golden star-shaped head.

How far did we go, Jay?

I dont know. As Celia struggled to lift herself completely off of the ground, she folded after having used her right arm to support her.

Hows the arm?

Obviously not so well.

Well need to check that out. You were badly injured earlieror should I say later? Jay grabbed Celia under her other arm and lifted her off of the ground. The pair now studied their surroundings more carefully. The place they now occupied was perplexingly and indiscernibly different from the place from which they had come. The grass here was just as green and the trees just as lively. Something was amiss, though. Celia and Jay walked forward. The sunrise had fully transformed into full-blown daylight and as the two strange travelers walked about the grassy area on which they had arrived, even the suns caress felt different here than it had where they came from. An essence was missing, an aura. They would find out soon what this was.

The two travelers floated upwards to overlook the city that lay just beneath the grassy hill that they had arrived on. Out of all of those people, we must choose one, Jay said with a contemplative tone. One person who can save us through the power that they hold inside.

Well find someone, Jay. Dont worry about it. Celia and Jay calmly floated high above the city, looking down at the numerous passing cars and busy people. The lofty buildings could scarcely be seen beneath a filthy layer of pollution that hung over the city like an emissary of death. It sickened Celia and she could hardly hold back her tears as the natures well being was of highest importance to her, being as connected as she was to it. A couple of drops fell gently from her great and bright eyes. Whisking through the air, these drops of hydrogenous fluid began to cure it as they descended. The layer of smog even began to dissipate slightly as the blessed tears from a legends eyes graced the canopy of this pavement forest.

Im sure the people will be thankful for that, Jay said realizing what Celia had just done.

Theyll just mess it up again, she said. This small victory paled in comparison with the greater evil that would follow. Even more important than the quality of air in the city now, though, was the fate of the world as a whole. Pollution was but a trifling nuisance in the face of an entire planets total destruction. Refocusing on the mission at hand, Celia and Jay descended to a level of sky just above the citys highest skyscraper.

(Six hours later, noon.)

Alright now, be careful.

I will mom! the small child exclaimed in annoyance as a response to a mothers concern. The little four-year-old boy rushed off to the jungle gym and his mother strode quietly to a park bench nearby. Sitting beneath a brilliantly shimmering emerald tree, Jason's mother enjoyed the sunlight of the day as it pierced through to her face in scintillating rays of light, the wind moving the leaves back and forth in the balmy weather of mid-day. Susan opened up a book and pulled out her chestnut-hue reading glasses and soon was completely absorbed in the latest adventure of her favorite author who wrote under the pen-name of Billy5772.

Like a wonderful oasis in the midst of a starving desert, this city park was made especially beautiful when contrasted with its concrete and unnatural surroundings. It was separated from the pavement by a large iron gate but was open to all.

Jason, I gotta go. A few minutes had passed but already, being the friendly child that he was, Jason had made a friend. Consisting only of a few races on the monkey bars, the life of their friendship was now over and a sad little child sat at the bottom of a glistening metal slide all alone.

Hey kid. Seemingly from thin air, a man appeared and startled the little boy. Dont be afraid, Im Jimmys father.

It didnt make sense that Jimmy had just had to go home and yet his father was standing right here but grown-ups are always right so Jason thought nothing of it. Still a bit uncomfortable with the mans presence, Jason fidgeted uneasily as he started looking around for his mother.

Hey, dont worry kid. Im cool. So, what do you and my son play on the jungle gym? Partly because he was shy, and partly because something about the situation felt abnormal, Jason only replied weakly and softly.

We were racing.

Racing! That sounds like fun! His enthusiasm concerning an activity which would usually strike adults as mundane and unexciting surprised Jason. In a good way.

Yeah, on those monkey bars right there. Slowly becoming less agitated by the strangers presence, Jason got up quickly off of the slide and rushed towards the monkey bars. Here, Ill show you. He climbed up the short ladder and reached for the first bar. He couldnt reach it, though. Hold on. Jason jumped for the first bar. He missed. But he didnt fall to the ground. Instead he fell into the arms of a stranger.

Alright kid, youre coming with me.

What?! No! Where are we going?! The helpless child wriggled rigorously, trying desperately to escape. A small cloth soaked in a chemical liquid soon quieted the boy and the stranger ran out of the park and into a car parked nearby.

She looked at her watch. Oh my, its getting late and I have other things to do. Susan stood up from the park bench and closed her book, keeping her finger in between the pages to mark her position. Alright Jason, its time to go! she called out. An eerie silence followed. The park was always mostly empty but her childs voice was usually enough to make up for a park full of children his age. The silence that met her call was eerily ominous of an evil deed done. She now rushed towards the jungle gym which lay amidst a floor of wood chips that now scratched her exposed toes as her sandals kicked up the padding. Oh my God! My baby! the mother cried frantically. She looked all about her once more to be sure that she had not imagined this most devastating tragedy. It was all real.

Look there! Celia and Jay had been atop a skyscraper roof for hours now, simply staring down at the bustling streets full of possible heroes.

What is it? Celia did not answer but instead, flew off of the roof top and towards the scene which she had called his attention to. Like a streak of glistening justice, Celia whisked across the sky and down to the frantic mother in the park.

I can help you

What? Whos there?

It is I, Celebi, guardian of life and nature.

What the heck?! Where are you?! Do you have my son?! the woman screamed now in a voice in which was mixed confusion and desperation. She lifted her tear-stained face to look straight above her head at a glowing green and leafy creature the likes of which she had never seen. Falling over backwards in awe, confusion, and a number of other emotions caused by such a shocking sight, Susans eyes widened as she sat dazed in the wood chips.

Dont be afraid

She covered her ears with her slender hands and squinted, eyes closed. Celia was perplexed at this reaction. She was a rare sight but had never been received with such an unwelcoming response to her presence. Deciding that the easiest way to help the woman would be to read her mind, Celia did so:

Where are you, Jason?! Its time to go

Oh my God! My baby!

Can we go to the park mom?

Pictures of the small child flooded into Celias mind in the form of various assorted memories of days past.

Jay, a kidnapping has taken place. We have to help her. The two legends once again turned their heads to the distressed mother.

Please do so, she said, as she peered her eyes out of a space between her fingers. I will gladly repay you whatever you wish. This sparked an idea that rushed through Celias mind like the answer to so many questions.

Stay here. The two legends whisked away even more swiftly than they had come in a blinding trail of green and golden light.

Anything yet? Jay asked.

Yes, I can sense that the boy is this way. They quickly changed directions and whisked down street after street until Celia stopped.

What is it?

That car right there! In the back of a black Oldsmobile, was a young, unconscious child. Celia moved forward swiftly and then descended so that she was just in front of the cars windshield.

Stop this car!

What the hell?! The driver shouted in surprise. He swerved in and out of lanes as the tenacious legend continued to exhort his compliance.

Release the child.

Jay followed behind the car.

The kidnapper pulled out a gun from his glove compartment and began to shoot wildly at the green fairy that confronted him. Celia quickly accelerated upwards to get out of the line of fire. Now youve done it! A luminous green such as had never been seen before by humans of this city radiated out from her body and Celias aura lit the entire block. People who had once been absorbed in work, business, or even housework now focused their attention to the spectacle outside of their windows. Celias radiance decreased just as quickly as it had exploded and the psychic Pokemon now used its power to grab the bullets from the air and stop them in their tracks. The bullets and the car were far ahead of her now. She lowered into the center of the street and drew the bullets back so that they lay right in front of her face. Go! The metallic instruments of death sped forward as if they were searching for a target. Celia could hear them crack the windshield and the car subsequently loss control and crashed into a telephone pole, denoting the drivers injury.

Shocked and amazed, a dozen bystanders simply stood still and stared on in awe.

Is the kid okay? Jay asked approaching his companion who had already flown towards the wreckage.

Yes. The two Pokemon lifted the unconscious child with their minds and sped off towards the park where an anxious mother waited.

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Next time: What will the mother do for the legends since they retrieved her child? What was the calamity that caused them to flee anyway? Why was she so frightened to see Celia (Celebii)? What is different about this world? Find out next time on F.O.D.!

Seriously, how was it? Im tryin, I really am. Any feedback is welcome.

Casual Billy
June 3rd, 2005, 10:58 AM
New Chapter! The whole fic is kinda mysterious but a little light is cast on the F.O.D. in this chapter and exactly what it is. But then, there's a new mystery introduced. Keep reading...please.

CHAPTER 2

Theres no way that we can defeat it!

At least not now.

What do you mean?

------------------------------

The mother was now standing at the edge of the iron fence that separated the citys park from the rest of the city. Grasping the bars in anticipation, she could begin to discern the forms of the two strange, magical creatures who had confronted her before. This time, however, they carried her child with them.

With a quivering gratitude, Susan held out her arms to accept the still unconscious body of her son, Jason. Th-th-thank you very much. The four-year-old child still lay unconscious.

Hell be fine miss, Jay assured the worried mother, smiling widely. As Susan turned to quickly run away, Celia called out to her.

Excuse me but didnt you say that youd do something for us? The woman turned around, frightened by what two of the strangest creatures she had ever seen might ask of her.

Y-y-yes I did. What do you want me to do? Celia and Jay looked at each other and then at the child who lay in her arms.

We need your sons power.

What do you mean? He doesnt have any power. What are you talking about? Susan, in an exasperated tone, desperately was now trying to dissuade the legends from whatever course of action required her to give up her son.

Calm down, we wont hurt him and you will still be able to raise himfor the most part, Jay added.

--------------------------

Im a little uncertain about this plan. Where can we find enough power to conquer such a great evil?

---------------------------

We simply wish to cultivate in your son the most powerful force on the planet and use him to save the world, Celia said simply as if her proposition was of the most mundane order.

What are you talking about?! I dont want any part in this! Susan turned around and began to run wildly towards the park entrance.

Come back! Celia shouted. Jay closed his eyes and grabbed her with a psychic field that stopped her in her tracks. Celia flew around to her and now hovered in the air facing a worried mother. The green forest nymph smiled pleasantly trying to quell Susans fear but the very sight of this fairy served no purpose other than to frighten the woman further.

I just want to go home, she said between bursts of tears. Please let me go! Celia looked at the mother who now was on her knees covering her face with her slender hands and sobbing into them.

Just let her go, Celia said. Jay looked at her for a second with a certain stare that denoted his disapproval. In his jade eyes, Celia could see but how are we going to save the world without the child? In response she gave him a reassuring wink. They let her go.

* * *

Yes, I saw the whole thing. There was a shining greenfairy thing. It was in front of that car and caused it to go off the road.

Are you sure that thats what happened, a skeptical investigator asked. Officials had arrived at the scene to investigate the car accident. Officer Josine closed her notepad and tucked it away in her pocket. You can go.

Josine. Come here. Josine walked near the wrecked vehicle briskly where her partner already stood. He peered intently inside the totaled car as if searching for something.

Whatd you find? she asked.

You can tell the ambulance to leave. Theres no body in this car. Josine walked around to the drivers side of the vehicle. In the seat was nothing but a small pile of pitch-hued dust.

Thats interesting

* * *

The two travelers lurked outside of Jasons bedroom window, peering inside at the scene that now unfolded. The window to the room lay open. This would be their method of entryas soon as the coast was clear.

Everythings okay now, sweetie. Susan sat at the side of her sons bed and ran her hand smoothly through his hair. Jason slept soundly, the whole ordeal had been quite tiring.

Do we have to do this, Jay?

Do you have any other ideas? We cant destroy Jack, theres no way to tell what kind of chaos could ensue if he were destroyed. Celia gave up her opposition and now refocused on the scene inside. The thinly framed mother now stood up just outside her childs door. Slowly, light from the hallway faded as she closed the door and shut it tightly.

Alright. Were goin in. Jay reached his steel fingers into the window screen. The tiny legend began to struggle and wrest with the screen as it gradually began to tear open. Making progress, he said as the screen widened even more. Just as the hole in the screen reached a sufficient wideness, the rooms door opened.

Jay! Celia whispered in an urgent tone as she herself ducked out of view. Jay followed and now both of them lay floating right under the window seal.

Forgot to close the window, is all. Susan walked calmly to the open window, shut it, and locked it. Hmm, she said, noticing a gaping hole in the screen, I need to get that fixed. A housewifes work is never done, she snickered joyfully and left the room.

Darn!

Dont worry, hold on. Celia focused her mind and then shot an intensified beam of solar energy towards the window. The glass melted and the two legends flew through. They hovered over Jasons bed for a second, staring at his innocent face.

You ready?

Are you sure about this? Celia was still a bit uneasy about sacrificing most of her power.

Youve already agreed to do this, Celia. Theres no turning back now. Celia took time to reflect on her promise.

---------------------------

I have engineered the ultimate attack within my body. It is the essence of Pokemon divinity and thus derives its power from the strength of a humans heart. Our connection to the humans is a wondrous bond, one that can be utilized as an extremely powerful force.

What humans? Theyve all been destroyed.

Maybe now they have, but that mustnt stop us. We must travel back in time to find a human who can carry this attack in their bodies until it has had time to mature and grow to its full destructive potential.

How long will that take?

It may take years. It depends on how fast this persons heart develops the characteristics needed. Turning to Celebi, Jay looked into her eyes. Will you help me?

Celia hesitated but only for a second. To save the world, it was her duty to do anything in her power. I will.

It will require almost all of both of our power to activate and implant the F.O.D. into its human host. Is that a sacrifice that you are willing to make? Celia nodded quietly. Her cerulean eyes then began to show with a determination not present before.

Yes! I would sacrifice my whole self for this world! The two legends, huddled together in a dark cave, remained silent for a moment afterwards. Is there really no other way though? What if we went back and killed the source of all of this chaos?

Jay looked over at her with a solemn face. I thought of that and this is what happened. The legend grasped Celias grassy hands in his own and closed his eyes and focused his mind. Celia closed her eyes as well. A scene opened with Jirachi destroying Jack in a blinding eruption of psychic-steel fury. The next instant, the entire vision collapsed and the transmission ended.

What does that mean?

It means that the worlds have become too intertwined now. They cannot be torn asunder. Killing the cause of their merger would result in total destruction.

Ah. Just then, the ground began to rumble and the cave began to become unstable. Jay, we need to go! Stones from the caverns ceiling began to crash down all about them.

Hurry! Jay grabbed Celias arm and both of them whisked forward towards the caves entrance. The light at the end of the tunnel was soon snuffed out though as boulders fell and obstructed the entrance.

A voice from outside could be heard. This is where it all ends. The cave now began to collapse in on itself and the legends had less and less room to occupy. They would be crushed if they didnt think fast. They grasped each others hands and focused all of their energy together. The stone confinement burst open from around them and the legends flew off and into the past

-------------------------------

I understand. Reinvigorated with nostalgic determination, Celia lowered down towards Jasons bedside and so did Jay. They looked at each other across the bed and then at the child. He had no idea how much his life was about to change.

Here it is. Jay produced in front of him a floating, amorphous entity. This is the F.O.D. We need now to focus all of our energy into it and start it up.

Hope we dont wake the neighbors, Jay chuckled. With this, Celia and Jay grasped each others hands and formed a circle around the floating entity. Focus. Celia once again shone with the brightest and most verdant hue imaginable. Jay also began to glow with a golden hue of rivaling brightness. All of the energy that each legend held within was then focused into the F.O.D. which lay floating above Jasons body. Their bioluminescence exhausted, along with their power, each legend dropped from the air and onto the bed besides the child. The F.O.D. floated innocently above all three of them.

I feel very weak, Jay.

Me too. The F.O.D. lowered quickly and Jasons body absorbed it into his chest readily. The deed was done.

pokegirl909
June 3rd, 2005, 11:48 AM
Hey, Go you! I really like it. This is a great story. Lots of suspence. My type of story. :D I'll be waiting for Chapter 3. *Sits down and stares at computer screen*

Casual Billy
June 3rd, 2005, 12:00 PM
Yes! A review. Thank you for posting. I'm glad that you enjoy it. I will post chapter 3 whenever I have it done (which should be in like 2 days) so Stay tuned! Thanks again.

Casual Billy
June 8th, 2005, 10:13 AM
CHAPTER 3

Celia and Jay slept soundly that night, positioned comfortably under Jasons bed. They gave a new meaning to the common childhood fear of monsters under the bed. But, in sharp contrast to this most placid of settings, lay unrest just outside.

Yes, there he is. Three shadowy figures floated outside of the young childs bedroom window. They were of the human form but with only one dimension.

We should kill him now. The three figures effortlessly glided through the walls of Jasons room. They now surrounded his bedside. Celia woke up in a cold sweat.

Jay, she whispered urgently, poking her slumbering friend. Wake up! Somethings not right! She could feel the presence of evil and it chilled her to the core. Opening his eyes slowly and drearily, Jay looked to his side at the concerned look on Celias face. He could discern no cause for alarm until he focused on what was behind her. The shadowy form of two human feet could be seen from under the bed.

What is going on?! he asked exasperatedly.

I dont know but I think we need to do something. We need to do something quickly! Celia looked at Jay expecting a response.

Celia, I can sense the evil about these beings. They are agents of our future foe. He must have sent them back with us so that they might thwart our plans to save the world. Dont worry, though, Jasonll be fine. With this, Jay turned back on his side and went to sleep.

Jay! she cried. The shadowy figures now merged together into one large, dark dome that covered Jasons bed. Jay! Theyre gonna kill him! she now screamed. He turned back over, rather annoyed.

Trust me, they wont. With this, the legend once again shifted to his side and went off to sleep. Celia couldnt take this inaction anymore. She rolled from underneath the bed and stood up.

Get outta here, you fiends! she shouted. The evil figures did not separate into their individual forms but instead began to close in on the young boy as the dark dome that they had formed collapsed. No! Celia punched with her fists wildly so as to deter the attack on Jasons life. It was of no use, though. Just as the dome was about to crush the boy and suffocate him in darkness, his heart began to glow with a brilliant and blinding light. First his heart, then his entire body began to give off the same luminescence.

Aaaaaaaaaah! The shadowy dome above his bed dispersed and the figures scurried off into the night. Celia, confused but relieved, sighed heavily and Jasons body ceased to glow. She stood there for a moment, catching her breath and wiping the sweat from her forehead. Jay peeked out from under the bed and settled his head on his hands with a comfortable I told ya so kind of expression on his face.

What just happened? Jirachi now climbed fully from under the bed and stood up in front of Celia.

I had to ensure that the bearer of the F.O.D. would not come to any harm. Hes no good dead, right? Jay chuckled. So, I engineered the attack to do whatever is necessary to sustain the vitality of its host. Angrily, Celia stormed back under the bed to her resting place, bumping Jays shoulder as she went.

You so coulda told me that, she seethed.

It turned out funnier this way, though. Jay also retired to his resting place under Jasons bed and, shortly, both legends drifted off to sleep.

* * *

We must attack him in another way now

* * *

Rays of sunlight crept into Jasons window and forced his eyelids open. Unaware of the proceedings that had taken place that night, the young boy slowly climbed out of his bed. His feet touched the floor and awakened the two legends that lay underneath his place of rest.

Jay, wake up, Celia shook her steel-skinned companion briskly.

Huh? Whats going on? Oh. Jay turned to face Celia and immediately begin to smile. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! he burst out in laughter, Get outta here you fiends! he mocked. Celia met this mockery with a very unfriendly stare. Okay, so it wasnt that funny, he finally resolved.

Jason could hear their voices under his bed and he was beginning to become afraid. He jumped back up into his bed and covered his whole self in his comforter. Go away, monsters! he shouted.

Oh my. Jay, we should reveal ourselves now. Once he sees that it is a Celebi and a Jirachi, all fears will be squelched. With this, the two legends rolled from under either side of the bed; Jay on the right and Celia on the left, near the window. They quickly stood up and made their presence known.

Jason, look over here. The boy, now frightened even more peeked one of his out of a small opening in his comforter fortress and, upon seeing a strange green fairy, quickly threw the covers up into the air and jumped out of his bed on the opposite side. His mad dash only caused him to come face-to-face with another strange creature, one with a golden star-shaped head and silver skin.

Aaaaaaaaaaaahh! Jason hopped over the smiling wish maker and dashed out of his room with what, on a Pokemon, wouldve qualified as Extreme Speed. Papers that had been scattered about the kids room fluttered in the air and the door slammed shut behind him due to his high velocity. Jay stood amongst the fluttering papers that now slowly drifted to the ground around him. One of his teal-shaded wish tags hung in front of his face and, with a small puff of wind from his tiny mouth, he blew it away irritably.

Jay, what was that? Celia had made her way around the foot of the bed and over to Jays side of the room, right in front of the door.

Its not based only on whether he actually is in danger, but, also if he feels endangered. Celia let out a sigh. But dont worry, Jay said, becoming very positive I have a plan As he finished saying this, the rooms door fell off of its hinges and hit the wooden floor behind him with a loud crashing noise.

It was still quite early and Susan lay in bed. She had slept through the threat of the evil attack on her son and her sons burst of super-human speed. Dawn came about an hour before her alarm clock would have to wake her up and she continued to sleep peacefully unaware. Jason did not return to his room, but, drowsy, sneaked into his mothers room and lay at the foot of her bed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The end of chapter 3! Hopefully, you all liked it. There is some good stuff about to happen. I dont think anyone can guess whats about to happen.

Things to look forward to:

New concept concerning the relation between good and evil,
The specific virtues that Jason must develop to bring the F.O.D. to its full potential
The excursions from the main plot caused by Jasons bodys reaction to the F.O.D.
Other various things that will be SHOCKING.
My guarantee of AFAFCAP (as far away from convention as possible)

jirachiman876
June 9th, 2005, 06:08 PM
*fumes* You posted chapter three here and not on serebii!!! O well I'm hoping that you just didn't have time to do that. Anyway, very interesting. I liked how the kid reacted to Celebi and Jirachi, pure hilarity. Well I'll prolly give you a beter review on serebii. ONe thing though, one time when the pokemon were speaking, you forgot to end the quote.
jirachiman out

Casual Billy
June 9th, 2005, 06:36 PM
Thanks for the point-out, Jirachiman. I didn't post this chapter on serebii yet because I'm still editing it. It's gonna be a little different by time it gets there. Thanks for reviewing!

jirachiman876
June 9th, 2005, 06:39 PM
o really??? sweet. I can't to make a different reveiw there. I wasn wondering why you didn't post F.O.D on pokelite2000.
Also reveiwed worlds away there too or as it's called there ... I can;t remember.

Act
June 10th, 2005, 06:50 AM
Hello.

Hn, well... the title is a tad off-setting. When I see the word FOD, I think of either fish or sod, which I'm sure wasn't the intended association.

The first paragraph is very forced. It seems as if you took random words and ran them through Word's thesaurous. Don't do that. More often than not, though words are synonymous, they cannot simply be substituted for one another. Frankly, it seemed rather... corny.

This reminds me too much of LilyPichu's writing. You have the same problem as she.

You /seem/ to know how to write dialogue at this point, but remeber: Always try to specify who is speaking. It is more grammatically proper, and makes it easier on the reader.

You know, I always find it highly unlikely that pokemon, particularly ancient, immortal pokemon, would have human names.

Hydrogenous fluid? How old are you-- 11, 12? Do you even know what that truly /means/? It's terribly out of place. No one will kill you for saying 'water'. I'm also inclined to think that there are other liquid compounds composed partly of hydrogen. There are words you shouldn't overuse, but in my experience water isn't one of them.

Somehow I doubt her tears were big enough to make a significant impact of the layer of pollution. Not to mention that if the smog was so thick, so polluted, I doubt the place would be populated.

Marking passing of time is extremely juvenile. Does it matter that it's noon? Just have a line break and continue the fic.

Well, that was weird self-promotion. Plus, have you ever seen a published author use numbers as a pen name? Pointless words.

You're making this city sound like an awful place to live. Have you ever played Sim City? People tend to leave when polution is up and room is down.

I'm not sure what prompted the two to o after this kid. Many children go missing every day. If they attempted to help every parent in need, they'd be working forever. Notwithstanding that celebi could easily go back in time and follow the abductor to see where he has taken the child. But, I'm assuming, then there would be no story.

This first chapater was decent. Your prose was so forcably flowerly that is became a little cheesy, and nothing happened. By the end of the first chapter, your readers should be hooked on the beginning of a plot. Nothing really happened.

Chapter two...

Why didn't the mother follow? Would you trust voices on your head to find your son?

Why does the woman understand the pokemon speech now? Last chapter they could only communicate telepathically.

What's so special about this kid? Or could they just choose anyone and he happened to be there? The unlikelyness of this burns... but I digress.

For ancient pokemon, the act surprisingly human. Pokemon aren't just people who look different.

It's not 'thru' it is 'through'. This isn't a sign for a McDonald's drive through.

I still don't see why they chose a 4-year-old, as opposed to an adult or teen who had a say as well as could grasp the seriousness.

This chapter was better as far as plot goes, but in cutting down on the over-flowered language, you cut out all description. You've also done something that annoys me to know end:You've turned pokemon into minihumans.

Three...

You cannot have one dimension. You would have no sunstance. You must have at least two, lengh and height. The third dimension adds width. The fourth is time, I'm pretty sure.

Lyke, ong. He SO coulda told her that. So we're tweens now?

Pokemon attacks shouldn't be capatalized.


Well, this was okay. It is an overdone concept and was pretty boring. Your two main characters make me sigh. You seem to not take a lot of things into account, and always know wha a word means before you use it. Better safe than sorry. This needs some work, but it isn't bad.

Casual Billy
June 10th, 2005, 09:19 AM
Hn, well... the title is a tad off-setting. When I see the word FOD, I think of either fish or sod, which I'm sure wasn't the intended association.

Thats nice, albeit unnecessary. It wasnt a word either. It was an acronym.

The first paragraph is very forced. It seems as if you took random words and ran them through Word's thesaurous. Don't do that. More often than not, though words are synonymous, they cannot simply be substituted for one another. Frankly, it seemed rather... corny.

Examples of misused words?

You know, I always find it highly unlikely that pokemon, particularly ancient, immortal pokemon, would have human names.

I see your point, but, in my story, they do.

Hydrogenous fluid? How old are you-- 11, 12? Do you even know what that truly /means/? It's terribly out of place. No one will kill you for saying 'water'. I'm also inclined to think that there are other liquid compounds composed partly of hydrogen. There are words you shouldn't overuse, but in my experience water isn't one of them.

And what other liquid compounds would fall from someones eyes? Maybe the description was a bit convoluted, but I actually do know what hydrogenous means. It simply means of or containing hydrogen. Its quite a simple meaning.

Somehow I doubt her tears were big enough to make a significant impact of the layer of pollution.

Shes a legendary Pokemon of nature. They did not have to be big enough. It seems like youre making things up to gripe about.

Not to mention that if the smog was so thick, so polluted, I doubt the place would be populated.

And now, heavily polluted cities arent usually populated? Who polluted them? I assure you that there are cities, with people in them, which are very heavily polluted.

Marking passing of time is extremely juvenile. Does it matter that it's noon? Just have a line break and continue the fic.

It actually does matter but I see that there was probably a better way to do it.

Well, that was weird self-promotion. Plus, have you ever seen a published author use numbers as a pen name? Pointless words.

The numbers did make it look a little weird, but to discredit it because you havent seen an author do it is not so valid.

You're making this city sound like an awful place to live. Have you ever played Sim City? People tend to leave when polution is up and room is down.

So now youre basing your logic on a computer game? Once again, I assure you that there are heavily populated cities with a pollution problem in the real world.

I'm not sure what prompted the two to o after this kid. Many children go missing every day. If they attempted to help every parent in need, they'd be working forever.

So now youre upset that the motives of Celia and Jay are not immediately apparent? Every plot aspect does not have to be revealed all at once. I even said that there were some things that would be revealed later. Also, this just happened to be the first crime they witnessed in this new place. Should they not have tried to help this woman who caught their attention?

Notwithstanding that celebi could easily go back in time and follow the abductor to see where he has taken the child. But, I'm assuming, then there would be no story.

Interesting. I really did not think of that. There still would have been a story, it just would be different.

This first chapater was decent. Your prose was so forcably flowerly that is became a little cheesy, and nothing happened. By the end of the first chapter, your readers should be hooked on the beginning of a plot. Nothing really happened.

*cough forcibly flowery cough*

Yeah, but I agree that this was kind of forced um,language here. A lot definitely did happen, though:

Two mysterious travelers landed in a strange land.
Mother loses child, travelers agree to help
Inhabitants of this place see Celia use her powers
They rescue the child

Why didn't the mother follow? Would you trust voices on your head to find your son?

She actually did see the two legendaries, and they did fly off. How could she follow them? She probably couldve called the police, though. Isnt there some rule, though, that you have to wait some amount of time before filing a missing persons report? I dont know, theres definitely validity to you being concerned about the mothers inaction. Hmmm.

Why does the woman understand the pokemon speech now? Last chapter they could only communicate telepathically.

They spoke in English.

What's so special about this kid? Or could they just choose anyone and he happened to be there? The unlikelyness of this burns... but I digress.

Thats one of the things that are not immediately apparent. And what is so unlikely about a kid in a park?

For ancient pokemon, the act surprisingly human. Pokemon aren't just people who look different.

I agree that the games would portray them that way, but in this fic, I wanted to give them a more human-like relationship. Just to make the two main characters more relatable to the reader.

It's not 'thru' it is 'through'. This isn't a sign for a McDonald's drive through.

I will change that.

I still don't see why they chose a 4-year-old, as opposed to an adult or teen who had a say as well as could grasp the seriousness.

This pretty much explains why:

Maybe now they have, but that mustnt stop us. We must travel back in time to find a human who can carry this attack in their bodies until it has had time to mature and grow to its full destructive potential.

How long will that take?

It may take years. It depends on how fast this persons heart develops the characteristics needed. Turning to Celebi, Jay looked into her eyes. Will you help me?

They needed a fresh-start heart. A grown persons heart may have already become too corrupt to bear the F.O.D. and it may have had nothing to feed off of. They had to choose a heart that would give them time to let it grow, time to mold it into what they wanted it to be.

You've also done something that annoys me to know end:You've turned pokemon into minihumans.

Im sorry that this annoys you, but we must have different fanfiction rule books. Mine says that its a story not limited by the scenarios or conditions expressed in the anime or games. I dont know. I did it on purpose. It makes the characters into ones with whom you can better relate. These are the main characters. I mean, if they talked in Pokemon speech and acted all divine, itd alienate anyone who read it. Itd be like having the Wookies as the main characters in the Star Wars movies. No one understands them.

You cannot have one dimension. You would have no sunstance. You must have at least two, length and height. The third dimension adds width. The fourth is time, I'm pretty sure.

Ah! I see. Definitely wouldnt want characters without sunstance. I hear theyre at a higher risk for skin cancer. Get it? Cant stand the sun, sunstance. Okay, I know what you meant. Ill edit that to two.

Pokemon attacks shouldn't be capatalized.

Oh, okay.

Well, this was okay. It is an overdone concept and was pretty boring.

Overdone? Who else has done this? Or are you saying that Ive taken the concept too far?

Overall, thanks for the review. Most of it was personal gripes that really didnt hold any absolute value, but I do appreciate you taking the time to look at it. Im also glad you chose to give it a permanent score of three after the first three chapters in which the plot has not even been fully developed. Thank you.

Act
June 10th, 2005, 05:50 PM
I'm glad you took this well. *looks at disclaimer* Concritting... why do we try?

Thats nice, albeit unnecessary. It wasnt a word either. It was an acronym.


So are MADD and NASA, but no one looks and them and thinks, oh, look at that, it's the en- ay- ess- ay. No, it's NASA.

Shes a legendary Pokemon of nature. They did not have to be big enough. It seems like youre making things up to gripe about.

It's called 'giving opinion', not 'making up'. You asked for my opinions, and I give. Live with it. On that note, ledgendary pokemon are not beyond realms of common sense and reason. A tear is a tear, not a lake.

And now, heavily polluted cities arent usually populated? Who polluted them? I assure you that there are cities, with people in them, which are very heavily polluted.

When there is a heavy cloud of polution covering a city, send me a picture so I can count the people living there. Carcinogens... *shivers*

So now youre basing your logic on a computer game? Once again, I assure you that there are heavily populated cities with a pollution problem in the real world.

Metaphor much? You're basing your writing on a video game (well... sort of...). I was simply trying to clarify my point.

So now youre upset that the motives of Celia and Jay are not immediately apparent? Every plot aspect does not have to be revealed all at once. I even said that there were some things that would be revealed later. Also, this just happened to be the first crime they witnessed in this new place. Should they not have tried to help this woman who caught their attention?

It's easier on the reader to give reason for action. Just because something fully makes sense to you doesn't mean it does to everyone else, which should have become apparent but apparently failed to. As you said, these are ledgendary pokemon who, as far as my 'griping' understanding goes, don't throw themselves in front of every candidate unless its Ash Ketchum.

Yeah, but I agree that this was kind of forced um,language here. A lot definitely did happen, though:

Two mysterious travelers landed in a strange land.
Mother loses child, travelers agree to help
Inhabitants of this place see Celia use her powers
They rescue the child

But... you don't make it seem significant, and I know that sounds odd. There was no real hook, nothing that caught my eye and made me say, "Wow, I've never seen /that/ before." And honestly, that's what you need.

This pretty much explains why:

Maybe now they have, but that mustnt stop us. We must travel back in time to find a human who can carry this attack in their bodies until it has had time to mature and grow to its full destructive potential.

How long will that take?

It may take years. It depends on how fast this persons heart develops the characteristics needed. Turning to Celebi, Jay looked into her eyes. Will you help me?

They needed a fresh-start heart. A grown persons heart may have already become too corrupt to bear the F.O.D. and it may have had nothing to feed off of. They had to choose a heart that would give them time to let it grow, time to mold it into what they wanted it to be.

I did notice that, but it still seemed sort of random to me that they'd just basically go into town one morning and choose this kid. Surely there was a hospital with a truckload of newborns waiting to be inspected, particularly if this city is a spopulated as you say it is.

Im sorry that this annoys you, but we must have different fanfiction rule books. Mine says that its a story not limited by the scenarios or conditions expressed in the anime or games.

This had nothing to do with canon. If you say a chimp walking around acting human, you'd be generally freaked (I use chimps because they are our closest relatives, I think). Animals/pokemon and people are just different. It's fairly given. And there does happen to be an acceptance of the rule that says 'don't throw canon aside'.

I dont know. I did it on purpose. It makes the characters into ones with whom you can better relate. These are the main characters. I mean, if they talked in Pokemon speech and acted all divine, itd alienate anyone who read it. Itd be like having the Wookies as the main characters in the Star Wars movies. No one understands them.

No, it wouldn't offset people. It would show that you had carefully thought out your characters and portrayed them to be what they truly are: divine (and speaking in their own language). This isn't a movie. Writing and visulals, reading and hearing: they are different. I'm not telling you to write "Cel, celebi cel cel." Writing their speech normally is fine, but having some random lady understand it isn't. What most authors do is mark pokemon speech differently. If I started speaking to you in Russian, would you understand it? Probably not. Is it still a language? Are Russians a unique people? Yes.

Ah! I see. Definitely wouldnt want characters without sunstance.

Leave my typos alone. They plague me.

Overdone? Who else has done this? Or are you saying that Ive taken the concept too far?

The chosen one thing is everywhere. Recently it has taken a backseat to "OT with angsty past goes on journey" but I assure you there are hundreds of fics with this plot. That's not necessarily a bad thing, you just haven't added any spark to it.

Overall, thanks for the review. Most of it was personal gripes that really didnt hold any absolute value, but I do appreciate you taking the time to look at it. Im also glad you chose to give it a permanent score of three after the first three chapters in which the plot has not even been fully developed. Thank you.

*pokes backbone* You asked for my opinion and I gave it. If your ego took a knock, live with it. I'd be thrilled if someone wrote up a concrit for me like this... I adore criticism. If you have no desire to better yourself, that's not my preogative. As for the plot not being developed at chapter three... thanks for pointing that one out for me.

Casual Billy
June 11th, 2005, 07:57 PM
It's called 'giving opinion', not 'making up'. You asked for my opinions, and I give. Live with it. On that note, ledgendary pokemon are not beyond realms of common sense and reason. A tear is a tear, not a lake

There is no common sense or reason behind Pokemon, much less legendaries. The magical aura around her tear, and not the tear itself was what cured the air.

When there is a heavy cloud of polution covering a city, send me a picture so I can count the people living there. Carcinogens... *shivers*

http://www.starproductions.co.nz/sp-images/smog-chch.jpg Heres Christchurch, New Zealand. 344,100
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/ozone-pollution-smog.jpg

Metaphor much? You're basing your writing on a video game (well... sort of...). I was simply trying to clarify my point.

More hypocritical than metaphor It didnt make sense either way, that was the point.

This had nothing to do with canon. If you say a chimp walking around acting human, you'd be generally freaked (I use chimps because they are our closest relatives, I think). Animals/pokemon and people are just different. It's fairly given. And there does happen to be an acceptance of the rule that says 'don't throw canon aside'.

I always thought that Pokemon were a little above animals, especially the legends. Theyre not really characterized that often, either. So whats to go off of? (I dont watch the show and have never seen the movies).

No, it wouldn't offset people. It would show that you had carefully thought out your characters and portrayed them to be what they truly are: divine (and speaking in their own language). This isn't a movie. Writing and visulals, reading and hearing: they are different. I'm not telling you to write "Cel, celebi cel cel." Writing their speech normally is fine, but having some random lady understand it isn't. What most authors do is mark pokemon speech differently. If I started speaking to you in Russian, would you understand it? Probably not. Is it still a language? Are Russians a unique people? Yes.

So not even the legends can speak English?

*pokes backbone* You asked for my opinion and I gave it. If your ego took a knock, live with it. I'd be thrilled if someone wrote up a concrit for me like this... I adore criticism. If you have no desire to better yourself, that's not my preogative. As for the plot not being developed at chapter three... thanks for pointing that one out for me.

Better myself? You gave almost no advice that made sense. Here are your original concrits

Tears of a legend arent powerful enough to even partially cure a layer of smog
Cities that are polluted dont have people in them
Legends cant speak English
The plot was not all revealed
Dont force language valid
Dont use synonyms that dont work still waiting for an example

And then, after 3 chapters, you gave it a permanent three for these reasons. Just a little upset about that. Opinions and concrit are great when theyre based off of something valid.

Act
June 12th, 2005, 03:37 AM
There is no common sense or reason behind Pokemon, much less legendaries.

Alright. Wow. Just wow...

I've been aruged down on the polution point, though I still don't see exactly how it profits the fic.

More hypocritical than metaphor It didnt make sense either way, that was the point.

Hypocritical? I stood by that opinion the entire time. o.o;; Definition check?

always thought that Pokemon were a little above animals, especially the legends. Theyre not really characterized that often, either. So whats to go off of? (I dont watch the show and have never seen the movies).

*screams* They are CHARACTERS! Just because some crapauthor with no fragments of an imgaination doesn't give them personalities doesn't mean you shouldn't! You aren't a bad writer, please, don't succumb to this symdrome! And if you 'don't watch the show and have never seen the movies', how can you argue this? You know nothing about it.

So not even the legends can speak English?

No. That's all there is to it. *pokes canon*

Better myself? You gave almost no advice that made sense.

You've knocked down my advice rather than considered it. I don't mind you arguing for your points, but you're in tis mindset that everything I say is awfully biased and nonsensical. Read your fic as if you were me. I got the ideas from somewhere. I don't make things up o.o;;

Tears of a legend arent powerful enough to even partially cure a layer of smog
Cities that are polluted dont have people in them
Legends cant speak English
The plot was not all revealed
Dont force language valid
Dont use synonyms that dont work still waiting for an example

1. No, I don't think they are. Having not seen the movies, I'm not sure where you can get any proof to back yourself up. Celebi succumbs to a dark pokeball and DIES in the fourth? movie. They're not beyond normality, which is... interesting. It's be an intriguing one-shot topic, now that I think about it.

2. I'll cave on that one. But I didn't say 'no polluted city is populated' I just find it highly unlikely that the place is so poluted that the smog has become opaque.

3. They can't.

4. It's not so much that the plot wasn't there as that it wasn't... original. Fics with this basic idea are everywhere, again, I find myself asking, "Yeah, but what makes this better than every other 'chosen one' fic?" Be careful not to fall into a mold.

5. :)

6. example off top of my head: blue and cobalt. Not sure if you used this, but I've seen it done. I don't know if I accused you of that or was just warning you about it. I should look, but... EDIT: Yeah, I don't think I saw anything in particular, I think I was just throwing the fact out there.

Opinions and concrit are great when theyre based off of something valid.

Whether it's valid or not is an opinion. Again, I love being argued with-- it shows you give a crap about your writing-- but I don't appreciate being told my interpretations are worthless just because you don't agree with them o.o;;

Casual Billy
June 12th, 2005, 08:54 AM
Well, okay. I didn't mean for this to get anywhere close to ugly. I just didn't see where you were coming from at all. I love criticisms that make me go "ooh, I see" or "I never thought about it like that" or "Wow, I definitely need to change that". It just seemed like most of the stuff you said made me go "What?" or "where is she coming from?" Maybe it's because I don't watch the show and haven't seen the movies. I'm really just feeling around in the dark when it comes to how these characters should act because I don't really have anything to go off of. But, I was thinking "maybe that's a good thing" because, that way, it's got a great chance of being more original and less influenced by already established ideas. Is it wrong for me to take a character from the Pokemon universe and implant them into my own? What's wrong with bending the rules of "canon" in a fiction that is not tied to the anime or games at all? These are the rules and thought processes that fostered the creation of this fic, and that's why your criticism about what the legends can and cannot do kind of caught me off guard(?). Just wasn't expecting to be corrected on what my characters can and cannot do.

Hypocritical? I stood by that opinion the entire time. o.o;; Definition check?

Comprehension check? I was saying that, if anything, it was hypocritical for me to base the story on a video game and then to reprimand you for using some video game logic. Maybe I misunderstood, though. What were you saying was a metaphor?

Oh, I was aware that there were other "chosen one" fics out there, but this one is gonna be so different. The basic plot has been layed out, but there is so much more. This is the main reason why I was a little irked at the 3. You've got no idea where this is going, what kind of plot twists are in store, what influences will affect the main characters, or what the ending will be like. And then you rated the entire fic (chapters 1 - 12(?)) based on your opinion of the first three? You must agree that you'd be a little frustrated as well.

Finally, I don't want there to be any bad blood/hard feelings/whatever because of this. I apologize for being so quick to become argumentative. I do "give a crap" about the writing but that's no excuse for saying what I said in posts above.

Act
June 12th, 2005, 10:03 AM
Hn, it's difficult to write a fanfic with only limited knowledge of the fandom, ne? That could easily be why we aren;t seeing eye-to-eye. That said, no one has suffered a personal attack, so I don't think this is too ugly. Everyone's inclined to protect something they've created.

Game canon is in fact primary canon, but you don't get any feel for a character in an RPG like that. I'd reccommend watching a few episodes of the show for rference. Pokemon 4Ever, I think, is the best movie. I'd rent that one.

As far as acceptance of canon goes, canon is your rules. You can't do x, y, and z. Would it be nice to have everyone understanding each other? Heck yeah. Doe sit work that way? Unfortunaterly not. It does, however, provide a creative opportunity for an author. Why does it work this way? Is there a history? Can pokemon be tauht English without sacrificing their 'learnings' (as it is put in the show) and learn more attacks as well? Who knows.

The average pokemon, in my opinion, doesn't act human because it isn't. It's a cat, mouse, bird, dragon, etc. I think Ledgendaries, personally, should act more 'human'. That word is in parentheses because it's not really the right word. They should be more cultured and wise, smart and strategic, but not in the same way people are, because they don't live as we do.

As for trans-universal fics, I'd make note if you intend to totally disregard canon, because more experienced authors (haha... NOT like me) may be on you for things taht bend canon I've never even heard of. One of the worst things a concritter hates to see is canon-rape, or the total disregard for the rules set by the show/game/manga. I'd have given you more of an explanation if I knew coming into this that you were writing entirely by the game. I'd put in some kind of disclaimer as far as those things are concerned.

I'm still totally confused as to the hypocritical statement, so let's drop my metaphor.

Oh, I was aware that there were other "chosen one" fics out there, but this one is gonna be so different. The basic plot has been layed out, but there is so much more. This is the main reason why I was a little irked at the 3. You've got no idea where this is going, what kind of plot twists are in store, what influences will affect the main characters, or what the ending will be like. And then you rated the entire fic (chapters 1 - 12(?)) based on your opinion of the first three? You must agree that you'd be a little frustrated as well.


The first chapter are the most important. It's not fun to read 3-5 (or even more or less) chapters that could be pulled from any of 5,000 fics. Your job in the first three /paragraphs/ is to give the reader reason to continue in their endeavor. This wasn't bad, there was just no mirror originality in it. That being said, this hasn't intriguied me to the point that I'd keep reading to watch it ge better. I rated because chances are, unless you request a concrit 5 chapters from now, that I won't be reading any more. I'm more of an OT person myself. Also, I wasn't aware that you couldn't alter ratings. I apologie on taht account. And for all my typos -_-;;

I'm not upset. I hope you're not o.o;; You have no idea how many enemies I've made telling people to write dialogue properly. If I were you, I'd make my way to ff.net every once and a while. There are soem great fics there that could probably explain better some of the things I've said. One id Farla's Unoriginality series, the other is Negrek's 'Here We Go Again' fic. Irony-chan also wrote a very amusing 'Mary-Sue ABCs' that I recommend simply because of how funny it is.

Good luck with this. It's really a neglected concept as far as good fanfiction goes.

Casual Billy
June 12th, 2005, 10:58 AM
Well, thanks for the help. I'm gonna go read some episode guides for some pokemon or something now. *sigh*

FloatingFlames
June 12th, 2005, 02:50 PM
Hmm... about the humans understanding legendaries, if I recall correctly, in the third movie Lugia spoke in English to Ash telepathically, and Ash understood him perfectly. I haven't seen that movie in a long time, though, so I might be wrong. I believe that legends are highly capable of speaking to humans if they need to. After all, they are legendaries, which I view as a status far above not only Pokemon, but humans as well.

Of course, I didn't read the entire conversation between you two, so if you disproved this somewhere, than I apologize.

>_>
*runs off to go make a sig, profile and post his fic*

Act
June 12th, 2005, 04:48 PM
I said that, I think... that telepathy was fine.

Casual Billy
June 15th, 2005, 07:41 PM
CHAPTER 4

Time for you to go to school, Mr. Susan passed her hand through her sons head lovingly as he sat at the kitchen table pushing Cheerios around in a pool of milk.

Im not done with my cereal yet!

Thats too bad. If you hadnt been playing with the food instead of eating it, maybe youd be done by now. Susan walked to the door, opened it, and motioned for Jason to go to the car. Jason got up from his seat at the kitchen table and sluggishly moved towards the car and got in. Jason sat comfortably in the back seat of the car moving around just to hear the leather seats make a farting sound.

Alright Celia, Operation Win Jasons Trust Quickly So That We Can Begin To Mold His Character Into One That Will Be Conducive Of The F.O.D.s Maximum Power or Operation W.J.T.Q.S.T.W.C.B.T.M.H.C.I.O.T.W.B.C.O.T.F.O.D.M.P., for short, has begun! The two legends jumped out of a pair of green bushes that were planted just outside of Jasons house. They rushed towards the luxury car and grabbed onto the back bumper. The familys silver car backed out of the driveway and sped off in the direction of Jasons daycare.

Mom, why do I have to go to daycare?

Its because mommy needs to look for a job, sweety. I cant watch you everyday anymore.

Oh.

--------------------------

Alright son, Ill be back at four oclock. Susan kissed her son on the forehead and got back into her car. Jason turned to face the brightly colored building, which was surrounded by play equipment and a luscious green lawn. A caring old woman stood at the front door with her arms open and a wide and loving smile across her face. Her snowy-white hair reminded him of his milk from breakfast, and he decided to trust her.

Now dont worry, Susan said out of her car window. Ive already checked this place out, and it is fine. Run along. Jason hesitantly walked down a paved path that lay in the middle of the daycares front lawn and towards the old daycare lady.

Now! Celia and Jay jumped from the bumper of Susans car and onto the grass in front of the daycare building.

Jay, people will see us!

Ive got it all under control. The wish maker grabbed from his star-shaped head a teal-shaded wish tag. Focusing his mind and grasping the wish tag in his hand, he soon disappeared.

Jay? Thats pretty cool, but what about me?

Grab onto the other end of the wish tag. Celia grabbed it, and she too turned invisible. Later that day, on the playground, Jay and Celia would approach Jason and set their plan into action.

Walking inside, Jason was quite shocked at what he saw. He had expected there to be a place full of actively playing children, but instead there were only a few kids, silently watching a soap opera. The head of the daycare slumped down on a recliner nearby the door and kicked off her shoes, revealing some of the ugliest feet that Jason had ever seen.

Um, where are the toys?

Toys?! she asked harshly. You wanna play with toys, you bring your own.

Oh. Why doesnt anyone here have toys out to play with? Jason asked, studying the soap opera audience carefully. They hadnt even noticed that there was a new child in their midst. They had been completely absorbed in the Turning Wheels universe, and not much could break their focus on the show.

They used to bring their own toys, but then they got too loud, so I told them not to anymore. Now you alls play time is just watchin Turning Wheels with me. Jason, quite disillusioned, sat down slowly on the carpeted floor next to the rest of the children.

Hi, my name is Jay. Whats yours? one brown-haired young boy asked quietly.

My name is Jason. You like this show?

Eh. Ive kinda just grown accustomed to it. Its mildly entertaining sometimes, though. We just found out that Charles ex-wife is not really the mother of one of his daughters. Were not sure which daughter it is, though. There have been hints throughout that its Julie, but nobody knows at this point because they all look like their mother a little bit. Cheryl, the ex-wifes best friend, has already told Jerald that it was Jonathon who was the real father, but then, when she said that, Jerald looked all nervous and stuff. It leads me to believe that hes probably the father, which is pretty crazy since hes also Charles best friend of seven years. Yeah.

Okay. Thats confusing, but why The head of the daycare interrupted their conversation by turning the volume up really high and clearing her throat obnoxiously. Jason and Jay stopped talking. Celia sat just behind them on the floor, and she winked at Jay who glanced back at her. The two legends had used Jirachis wish tag to disguise themselves as human children so that they could get closer to Jason without him being afraid.

They, from this day forward, employed themselves as Jasons friends, guiding him through the years on what is right and what is wrong, and developing in him a heart of the most just and noble order. They met with him daily at the daycare, and soon visited his house to play.

* * *

Having understood the specifics of their plan, it makes the most sense to copy their method. The three dark and shadowy figures now hovered outside of another young childs bedroom, waiting to enter.

Yes, indeed. We shall destroy this Jason before he has a chance to destroy our master. Inside, laid a young girl of about four years old. Her long black hair lay sprawled out against her white pillow, and she rested peacefully unaware. The three dark figures seeped through her walls as they had done the night before at anothers house, and stood all around her bed.

We will use her to attack the F.O.D. from within, destroying it in the same manner that a poison destroys the body. They produced in front of them a dark sphere of energy, comprised of a most pure evil. At first, her body rejected it, but the evil beings forced the sphere to be absorbed into her heart.

Are you sure that this will work? questioned one of the evil figures.

Yes, much like the F.O.D., this has been engineered to fulfill the needs of its maker. This is not only the essence of our evil desires, but it will also make her the perfect tool to destroy Jason with. You shall see. The little girl stirred, and the shadowy figures quickly dispersed and fled. Little Clarissa would be the ultimate tool of evil, specifically fashioned to destroy Jason.

* * *

As both sides worked on the hearts of their respective children, the years went by quickly. Soon, the strength of the F.O.D. would begin to make itself apparent to Jason in a more tangible way as, up until now, there had been not one sign of its presence. A series of events was about to unfold, though, that would lead to Jasons development into the hero that he was called to be. Now twelve years old, Celia and Jay decided that it was time to reveal their true identities and explain to him the importance of the F.O.D.

Jason, can I talk to you for a second? Jay walked beside his best friend as they both headed towards the bus stop. They didnt attend the same school, but that had not been cause for their separation. Jay visited Jason often; he had become a mentor of sorts, which was odd as he was under the guise of being the same age as Jason.

Sure, buddy. Whats up? Jason had grown considerably since they had met that day when he was four. His hair had turned a much darker shade of brown than before and his eyebrows, black and bushy, sat atop two clear brown eyes.

Well, never mind. Ill wait until you get home. Me and Celia are comin over later, is that okay?

Yeah, sure. Oh! I just got that new video game I was telling you about. Its pure awesome, man! Jay chuckled a little bit, and then waved good bye as Jason boarded the yellow school bus.

Later that afternoon, Celia and Jay arrived as scheduled. They stood knocking on the front door. Susan looked out the peep hole.

Okay, remember what we planned? Jay asked his companion.

Yeah, I got it. Both Celia and Jay had caused their human appearance to age just as Jasons did. Jay stood a full 5 feet, 7 inches tall, and Celia was just two inches shorter.

Oh hi, Susan said, smiling as she opened the door, Jason told me you two were coming. Come on in. The pair walked into Susans large house just as they had many an afternoon before. As if on a mission, they continued their path directly through the living room, and into the kitchen where they sat with serious expressions on their faces.

Hes upstairs, if you want to see Jason. Susan had followed them into the kitchen and now stood at its entrance with a confused look on her face.

We need to talk to both of you, they sad, retaining their stern expressions. The light that hung above the kitchen table made them stand out as the sun could be seen slowly setting through the window behind them. Soon, Jason had descended the stairs and was walking towards the kitchen. Sit down. When Jason and his mother sat down, the kitchen table was surrounded by an encasement with the consistency of a dark cloud. Jays eyes began to glow with a brilliant white light, and Celias did too.

Oh, Susan fainted.

What is this?! Jason got up and tried to escape the encasement, but to no avail. Celia used her mental powers to calm his mind and ease his nerves.

Ah, maybe this will help. The dark cloud turned into one of a snowy-white hue. Didnt mean to make it seem so evil. Anyway, weve got some important news for you. Im not human.

Neither am I. Celia chimed in, proud of the fact.

Weve been your friends for quite a while now, but we could not reveal our true identities again because the first time, it frightened you. After having said this, they both reverted to their natural forms; a star-headed, steel-skinned wish maker, and an emerald green forest nymph. The brilliance of the cloud increased and the table was seemingly engulfed in the brilliance of its light. All Jason could see was the form of the two legends directly in front of him.

Weve implanted in your body the power to save the world, Jay started off.

From what?

From the greatest evil ever known to man. Jason pinched himself in the arm as hard as he could.

This is not a dream, Celia chuckled.

It is as close to reality as you have ever been. Somewhat confused, somewhat upset, and a whole lot afraid, Jason began to speak in a quivering voice.

Wh-why? Why is it me that youwhat evil?

We will show you. The legends eyes began to glow again and the thick white cloud that encased them turned into the atmosphere of the future, one tainted by the evil of their foe. This is what is to happen 13 years from now Jirachis voice trailed off as a psychic vision ensued. Susan woke up, dazed and confused, and just in time to study the happenings of the future

pokegirl909
June 17th, 2005, 07:37 AM
Hm.. Oh! Your back to the story again! I thought you had stopped or something. I still like, I really do... Its just... What color hair do Jay and Ceclia (sp?) have?

Casual Billy
June 22nd, 2005, 02:18 PM
CHAPTER 5: CELEBRATION DECEMATION

(last time)

We will show you. The legends eyes began to glow again and the thick white cloud that encased them turned into the atmosphere of the future, one tainted by the evil of their foe. This is what is to happen 13 years from now Jirachis voice trailed off as a psychic vision ensued. Susan woke up, dazed and confused, and just in time to study the happenings of the future


Well, are you going to that thing thats gonna be down here this afternoon? Jason asked his friend, Thomas. They had spent the day at the library, and now, looking up from a physics book, Thomas replied.

What thing?

The annual celebration of the appearance of Ultanimals. What else?

Oh, maybe.

* * *

The evil of both worlds had come together 10 years ago, culminating in a dark mass that now existed beneath the sea. It drew on the wretchedness that existed all around it and built off of the suffering that had taken place in this world, a combination of two. Its history contained the combined brutality and violence of both worlds that had come together to forge this new one. The darkness had grown to a point of instability and it now shifted and warped the space around it and a small whirlpool was created just above this point in the Pacific Ocean as the cerulean waves produced forth from their aquatic depths the form of a large bird. Its body was the sinful violet hue that had been used in many metaphors to denote wrongdoing. Its wings spread out a distance of unparalleled magnanimity and its large neck stretched far giving it a total height of almost eighteen feet. The evil birds crimson eyes now opened with all the fury contained in its huge body and it ascended to the heavens.

* * *

Ahhhh! The tiny wish maker quickly sat up from his resting place in the forest. His golden star started to shine with the brightness of the heavens and his wide-open emerald eyes peered ahead of him with complete focus, not on any of the foliage all about him, but on the images that had just run through his mind: Images of wars that he did not remember, images of countless deaths that he had no recollection of. What did it all mean, though? Becoming completely awake, Jirachi stared about himself to make sure that this destruction which he had imagined was not actually going on about him. The sight of the peaceful trees and their leaves gently swaying in the balmy afternoons breeze calmed him slightly. He lifted himself up from the steady branch on which he had been resting and slowly allowed himself to drift to the ground. His small steel feet touched the soft earth beneath him as he landed, and he began to walk forward. His premonition was correct. Even if he did not understand exactly what it was, he knew that it was correct. It could mean total destruction if he did not seek the aid of another

* * *

Today marks the ten-year anniversary of the arrival of what scientists call Ultanimals. No one is quite sure how these creatures got here but everyone remembers the day that they arrived. Sometimes cute as in the case of this Iuglius Poufurus which the kids have dubbed Jiggly Puff, A small pink ball with two enormously out-of-proportion emerald eyes rolled sideways across the news desk and then stood in its center, To the ferocious Charizard. The news reporter displayed a photo of the amber-hue dragon in the upper right hand corner of the screen. Still no one has figured how to tame these bizarre creatures, but observation persists. Many television specials will be aired today concerning the advent of this new type of creature to the worlds ecosystem and there are quite a few festivals planned. So enjoy this day to the fullest.

* * *

Accompanying Music (http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/gamecube/SonicHeroes_TeamDark_ThisMachine.mid)

The evil bird grimaced as it flew high above the earths surface, surveying the continents which it now desired to conquer. It began its gradual descent towards the ground now as it spread its wide wings outwards to glide downwards. This giant Lugia distortion touched down on the ground and caused the pavement of the sidewalks to crumble and crack. Lugia stretched its wings out to their full span, heavily damaging two large buildings that stood on either side of it. Before its feet stood two unwitting high school students who were headed home from the library. The dark lugia peered down at the pair with its shining red eyes and froze them with fear.

Stop! Jirachi and Celebi appeared above the scene in an instantaneously produced field of golden aura. Lugia craned its neck upwards to stare at the two Pokemon who would dare oppose his awesome evil. With one quick breath of hot air, Lugia snuffed out the golden aura that surrounded the two magical legendaries.

Hes strong, Jirachi.

Yes. We must be careful. The dark Lugia lifted one of its giant feet and smashed both Jason and Thomas. It then roared with a malevolent satisfaction that sounded almost like delight.

What other Pokemon survived the merge?

I dont know, but well need their help too.

Having been alerted of this evils existence by his own clairvoyant intuition, Latios appeared like a streak of lustrous blue light. Glowing with the heat of psychic energy, the blue and white dragon released without warning a blinding orb of white-hot energy from its mouth that expanded and engulfed the space around the evil Lugia. The luster purge attack dissipated to reveal the livid expression on the dark Lugias face. It had been seemingly un-phased by the attack and it now began to beat its wings and lift itself off of the ground. The forceful winds created by the beating of wings so great caused clouds of dust to whir about the city streets beneath and cars to be knocked over. The sunlight still shone bright, oblivious to the umbrage cast by this looming evil that hung above the city streets. From its orifice it released an emerald blast of focused wind energy that impacted Latios and sent the dragon soaring. It roared again triumphantly.

What are we to do?

Latios was much more powerful than we are, and he was just destroyed without trouble by this raging beast! Lugias darkness began to swell up about himself and fume as if it were a raging fire which would threaten to consume the birds body. It released a spherical aura of malevolence that quickly expanded about him and even to the heavens. The sky was darkened as the suns light no longer was visible.

Ho-oh! Help us! the two magic Pokemon, Celebi and Jirachi, cried. Silence followed. The city beneath them had been completely and wholly swallowed up by the evil emanating from Lugias distorted form. The culmination of a worlds history of evil stared straight ahead at the two small legendaries and snarled an intimidating bellow that sent shivers of fear down each of their little backs. Celebis small forest-green hands grasped Jirachis grey steel ones and the two Pokemon began to glow with the golden aura of legendary divinity.

Doom Desire! the star Pokemon shouted.

Solar Beam! Celebi exclaimed widening the dark black rims around her oceanic eyes and focusing her power into the intensified beam. The two attacks combined to form a magnanimous stream of golden-hot pure energy surrounded by an erratically sparkling field of steel power that now advanced towards the foe. It impacted Lugia with a force unprecedented and the sky was lit once again, not with the suns light, but with the blazing inferno of solar-psychic-steel energy that erupted as a result of the combined efforts of Celebi and Jirachi. The people below, inhabitants of the city, did not witness this triumph, though, as they had all died from the suffocating atmosphere of evil that permeated the entire area. Dark Lugia had destroyed the life of a large area with its darkness.



(Cut Music)

Are you alright? Jirachi questioned as he looked over at his exhausted fairy companion. Both of them were exhausted, though. They breathed heavily and frequently and their light dimmed as each magical legendary slowly floated downwards hand-in-hand. They landed on the roof top of a building that had been engulfed in darkness and silenced by oblivion. A small dust cloud was aroused as a result of their touch-down and the two legendaries sat calmly on the top of the building with a sense of satisfaction.

How are the people? Celebi questioned, her sapphire eyes slowly opening as they gazed into Jirachis jade eyeballs.

I dont know. Jirachi got up from their resting place and peered over the boundary of the buildings roof and down to the ground below. To his bewilderment, bodies lay unconscious, scattered throughout the streets where people had fallen in wake of Lugias evil presence propagated.

Celebi had risen to her feet and advanced to the point where Jirachi stood. She peered over his shoulder to the destruction which lay below them. A tear caused her vision to be blurred and its descent to the ground beneath denoted her sorrow and its object. How did we allow such an evil to prevail, Jirachi?

He hasnt prevailed, Celebi. We have finally defeated him.

But at what cost? You see the destruction below. A short pause ensued. Do you not see the destruction below? The teal wish tags that hung from each point on Jirachis star shaped head now became visible.

I will use these to revive the life that Lugias evil has stolen. Jirachi plucked one tag from his head and dropped it to the ground. The tag descended peculiarly fast for one of its light weight, not bending or shifting due to air resistance but falling straight down. The tag struck the ground and began to pierce the darkness that engulfed it. Then the tag stopped and fell limp.

What just happened?

I dont know. My power must have been dissipated somehow. Maybe its the lack of a Book of Destiny that renders my wishes useless.

Why hasnt the sky returned to normal yet? Like a piercing migraine another vision shot through Jirachis mind. Images of the dark Lugia causing destruction elsewhere reigned over the rest of his thoughts, and the evil of his presence sent shivers down the legendarys spine.

Its still alive. Jirachi slowly turned his small head to face Celebis. The forest nymphs back sprouted four small white wings and it looked back at him.

Then what are we waiting for? We must find it and destroy it! The two legends shot up vertically and then whisked forward horizontally in two streaks of light, green and yellow respectively.

* * *

Nothing could stand in its way. Lugia had been unscathed by the attack of Jirachi and Celebi and had escaped with a blinding quickness to his current point of destructive activity. He had blackened the sky in this place just as he had previously in his prior location. The suns light had been completely diminished by the darkness of Lugias presence and the beast now roared and released brilliantly glowing balls of green-hot wind energy to the ground below. This destruction was not enough to satiate his endless appetite for desolation, however, and Lugia prepared to loose forth from its body the same propagating dark energy that had snuffed out the lives of the city residents before. As his body swelled with the evil of both worlds combined, the space around him distorted and he prepared to release the attack. Just then, when all hope for survival was lost by the inhabitants of this small part of the world, a blinding light pierced the shadowy veil that covered the sky.

Accompanying Music (http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/gamecube/ECHOES.mid)

It shone like a spotlight on Lugias back and the evil bird now writhed in physical pain for the first time. The light burned him and appropriately so as its source was the sacred fire emanating from an enraged phoenix. Ho-oh descended from above the dark clouds bringing with him the lustrous light of the heavens that had been blocked. The rainbow-colored bird spread out its multi-chromatic wings to denote its fury and perpetually shone with the blazing light of justice which he embodied.

I hope were not too late. Celebi and Jirachi had just arrived on the scene and now looked towards the spectacle that was Ho-oh and Lugia battling. Ho-oh sparked a small ember that descended towards Lugias feet. Not threatened, the evil Lugia stood firm and grimaced at the phoenixs paltry attempt at effecting his destruction. The small ember dashed the ground and then erupted into a blazing circle about the Lugia which now rose like a raging column. The inferno-confined Lugia now screamed with the voice of an hundred different evil shrieks at once.

Yes! Celebi shouted victoriously.

Hold the celebration, Celebi. A roar of focused air disrupted and scattered the column of flames that were all about his body. Dark Lugia now raised its head and flapped its wings to meet the burning phoenix in the air. Both legendary birds ascended past the barrier of darkness that blocked out the sun into an upper-atmosphere not visible by the people below. Flashes of green and then red light could be seen through the hole in the barrier that Ho-ohs light had recently produced.

I wonder whats happening.

We should help. With this, the two magical legendaries, Celebi and Jirachi ascended past the dark barrier as well. The suns light still shone bright at this altitude and aided Ho-ohs fiery attacks. A volley of fireballs whirred past Celebi and Jirachi as Lugia had evaded one of Ho-ohs attacks.

Ouch! Celebi cried out in pain. Turning to inspect the cause of such an outcry, Jirachi examined Celebis right arm to discover it singed badly and blackened by fire. The nymph lost consciousness and swiftly began to accelerate downwards.

I gotcha! Jirachi swooped down and caught Celebi. They had fallen below the darkened sky again and Jirachi now slowly descended to the ground with a bruised legend in his arms.

(Cut Music)

Then suddenly another burning hole was created in Lugias dark barrier, a barrier that blocked the suns light. It was Ho-oh. It was not a flaming attack of his this time, though, but the bird himself. Ho-oh spiraled to the ground like a blazing kamikaze and struck the earth with such a great force that it shook violently. Dark Lugia descended from above the clouds of darkness which he had created and now exploded with a violent wave of darkness that quickly rushed across the entire planet, killing its human inhabitants and most Pokemon. The Lugia, now suspended in air, looked satisfied with what it had done and the destruction of the world was apparently its only purpose.

Covered now by dust which had been kicked up by the wave of evil that propagated from Lugia, Jirachi and Celebi lay helpless on the ground beneath this behemoth of darkness. Being the only survivors of Lugias tirade, the two magical legendaries stared upwards at the effects of this merger.

Why has it come to this? Celebi weakly opened her eyes.

I dont know. Jacks heart must have contained more evil than good. When he wrote this world into existence those sentiments must have translated into this unconquerable destructive force.

What can we do to change it?

I fear its too late. Ho-oh and Latios have been defeated and the people have been destroyed. Tis the very nature of evil to destroy everything utterly. Dark Lugia stared on them without patience and his mouth expanded as another mighty Aeroblast took shape in his orifice. The blindingly brilliant ball of focused wind energy was to spell the destruction of both remaining legends and it now quickly advanced towards them. Celebis body shone brightly just before impact and the nymph of the forest stopped time.

Accompanying Music (http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/sega/dreamcast/sa2_dc_031.mid)

Lets move! I cant hold this for long! The two burst upwards and out of the way of the Aeroblast just before time resumed normal pace. They now flew swiftly away from Dark Lugia across the eastern side of the United States. Lugia followed.

The sky had been darkened and the air was filled with Lugias ominous evil. The wind had ceased to blow and the surface of the earth itself was desolate and bleak. The remains of cities were sporadically scattered about the ground and the silence of the current state of the earth indicated its lifelessness. Being the embodiment of destruction and darkness on earth, Lugia now chased its final enemies.

They flew through the air, the evil being firing dark blasts at its nimble fairy prey and her golden ally. The small targets were exceptionally difficult marks to hit. Celebi and Jirachi dodged up and down, left and right, as the now angered Lugia chased them, intent on the total destruction of life on this planet. Usually deriving her power from the flourishing life of the forest, Celebi now began to find herself losing the strength to evade seeing as how desolation reigned in lieu of such a power source. Celebis speed began to decrease and she started to fly lower to the ground. The chase continued now as the two sped above the surface of the ocean. The waters had become dark and corrosive and Celebi and Jirachi were saddened by the triumph of evil that was evident all about them.

Lugias gigantic wings allowed for it to fly at amazing speeds and it now quickly lessened the gap between it and its legendary prey. The waters just beneath it contorted to form a half-pipe formation just below its massive wings.

Celebi, cant you stop time again?! Lugias gaining on us!

I dont have the strength with which to do so.

We must stop this travesty from taking place. Take us back so that we may find a new source of power with which to halt Lugias evil reign!

I told you, I dont have the power! An Aeroblast struck the surface of the ocean in front of them and the legendaries now escaped, shrouded by a giant wall of mist created by the evaporation due to the attacks heat. Dark Lugia snarled when his prey was no longer visible. It halted its flight and hovered in the air for a moment. From each of its sides and from its tail came three shadowy figures.

Find them! Lugias evil emissaries departed in three different directions speedily and determinedly.

The two legends now found themselves weaving through the intricate paths of shore-side jungle. They quickly flew past the once lusciously green, now bathed in scarlet vines that hung in between the tall and once-lively trees that now stood only as a reminder of evils triumph over even nature, who took no part in its creation. A small cave became apparent and the two legends quickly halted in front of it and stepped inside.

(Cut Music)

Celia, I have an idea." Jay spent the next few hours engineering withing himself, the F.O.D. When Lugia's evil emissaries caused the cave to collapse in on them, both legends escaped.

"I still don't have the power to take us back, Jay!" Celia shouted as they now desperately flew forward.

Here, take mine! With this, the golden wish maker let off a light that blinded the dark Lugia who so closely followed behind them and the light engulfed Celebi.

Ah! Celebi felt her power return and she spiraled forward at faster than the speed of light and disappeared into the distant past

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, the end. Before anyone says anything, I know its not possible to go faster than the speed of light.

jirachiman876
June 22nd, 2005, 04:44 PM
Yay billay!!! Wonderful chapter. I liked. I'm starting to think that everyone is starting to use dark lugia as a character. I know a lot of people are. I found two mistakes if that's what you can call them.

of an hundred

It should be a hundred. One-hundred is the actually correct way to say it though.

engineering wihing himself, the F.O.D

I think you mean within.
Well I'll give you a better review on serebii.
jirachiman out

Casual Billy
June 23rd, 2005, 08:49 AM
Yeah, everyone got to dark lugia before I could. When I had originally planned this story (like a few days before I finished Worlds Away), there wasn't one fic with dark lugia in it. Now they've flooded serebii. I think I might even change the villain before I post this chapter at serebii. Or I might not. I'll tell you if i do.

Reya Boyens
June 23rd, 2005, 11:47 AM
Wow... All that fighting up there... That was almost amusing. I mean, I could see where both of you were coming from, though I think I agree with you, billy, on most of the issues that arose.
Oh, and sorry that the notes I sent you in that PM were about the same as what's been posted here. I haven't read even the entire first chapter yet, so I didn't realize when I sent it that you had already gotten those comments.
Oh, and also, sorry that I sent you the same message twice.

Ionem
July 1st, 2005, 03:13 PM
I want to read this one soon.

It's not only the big debate the makes me want to, and not just because you commented on my story, but because you have accompanying music.

That right there is an awesome concept. I've often pictured my stories to music, but to actually link to it and suggest it be heard along with the story. ****, that's just cool.

I hope I'll have time to read this sometime soon.

pokegirl909
July 4th, 2005, 10:54 AM
Yet again, very nice. I love chasing sences! And, by the way, nice music

peekachoo
July 4th, 2005, 07:00 PM
cool story!
i look forward to reading more.. =)

Casual Billy
July 14th, 2005, 11:35 AM
CHAPTER 6

Not a pretty sight, eh? Celia questioned the dazed youngster who was still under her mind-calming influence. The cloud of remembrance slowly began to dissipate to reveal the surrounding room. The table became visible, no longer shrouded in the foggy and desolate recollections of the future. The mother, also under a mind-calming influence, sat quietly. More shocked than afraid, the mother and son looked at each other.

This is why we need your help, Jason. Weve already implanted in you the ultimate attack, the F.O.D. All we need for you to do now is perfect your character and help it realize its destructive potential. There was silence as the two processed what had just happened.

Will you help us?

If youve already implanted something in my body, it seems like Ive got little to no choice now. What exactly did you do to me?

* * *

And where there is death, may there also be new life. Where there is mourning, may there also be the joy of a new day. Where there is sorrow, may there be peace. The dim lights and the crimson shaded carpet gave the whole procession a grim and melancholy tone. Clarissa sat in the front pew, draped in a long black dress that contrasted so sharply with her pale skin but not so much with the condition of her soul. Her only parent had just died and left her alone.

There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to

Words of comfort could do nothing to quell her sadness.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.

-------------

The funeral and reception ended, and soon the family departed, leaving Clarissa to herself. A taxi had been hired to take her to the city where her aunt stayed, Meridian Town. It was the only relative who had the space to take her in. Now, in the back of the cab, a pain like no other took control of her, and she wept aloud. The cab driver gave her no attention and simply continued to drive.

Losing a mother is tough, eh? a whisper of a voice asked. Clarissa wiped a tear from her eye and looked over to the seat next to her. No one was there.

Did you just say something, cab driver?

No.

You must feel terrible, the same childish whisper said. As it did, an intense emotional pain swelled up in her heart. It had changed from a purely emotional pain, to one that she could feel damaging her organs and tearing her insides apart. She could not contain it, and she wept again.

I do feel terrible.

I can help. I can take the pain away, Clarissa. It had become a visible presence now, the voice had, taking on the visage of a young, pale-faced girl with short blond hair and brightly peering brown eyes. It gave off a healing aura, and it glowed with the light of comfort that Clarissa desired.

Please, she gasped for air as the pain inside of her, magnified, threatened to choke the life out of her, help me.

The glowing entity stood up in the cab, and grabbed Clarissas arm. At once, the pain dispersed. Emotionally, she was devoid of any trace of sadness. Her eyes took on a cold and unfeeling gaze, and her mind became one of indifference. To take away the pain of losing a loved one, the entity had replaced her caring and feeling heart with one of the most callous and insensitive order. They had created in her the highest pain imaginable and then offered to relieve her of it like fire-starting firemen. Leverage had been gained, and evil Lugias emissaries had taken control of the host of their anti-F.O.D. host.

Too end sadness, is to not feel at all, the voice told her. Clarissa did not speak a word, and the taxi cab drove on towards the airport.

* * *

What were those creatures in the flashback?

They are called Pokemon, and they will arrive here shortly. Celia and Jay had figured out what was missing from this world; Pokemon. They hadnt seen a single one since their arrival, and Jasons words confirmed that they didnt exist in this world.

I suppose, as a world created by someone whose history included a dimension in which pokemon did not exist, it makes sense that in the early days of this worlds existence, there would be none. Jay had come to a conclusion about the reason behind this worlds lack of Pokemon, and it was quite accurate.

Why are you telling me this now? Jason questioned, shivering.

Because now is the time when the F.O.D. is beginning to bud. You are on adulthoods doorstep, and so is it. We need to guide you now as the attack grows within your body. We will help you realize your potential.



Jason, have you ever heard of a man named Jack Tallihan?

Maybe, why?

Where is he?

Theyve been talking on the news about how scientists have developed a method for traveling across dimensions. Jack Tallihan is the guy whos volunteering to go first. Brave guy, he is.

Jasons mom was speechless. She hadnt blinked since the vision began and now she sat at the table, jaw dropped, and amazed.

Well be back, Jason. Celia and Jay left his house out of the front door. As they walked out of the door, they once again hid under the guile of human children and quickly left.

My thinking is that, once they send Jack to our dimension, since it doesnt exist anymore, thats when the Pokemon will arrive.

Maybe, Celia said as they started to fly upwards out of Jasons front lawn and into the sky. We dont know the sequence of this death-bed thoughts, so we cant assume anything.


Okay, I know it was short, but the next one will be longer.

Next time:

Clarissa moves into Meridian Town
She meets Jason
Celia and Jay witness Jack leaving this dimension
??? (Mystery Event)