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愛Forgotten Angel愛
June 8th, 2005, 01:48 AM
I know this will resemble the other fan-fic In My Own Private Suicide in one way, but I just wanted to write.


Suicide...

I placed my interlaced fingers on my head. The hum of the computer barely reached me. The only thing I could really hear clearly was the song. The words of the Green Day song I was listening to. The words which had never hurt before now stung like hell. I was at it. The gates of it. The place no one wants to really go if all the stories are true. I was at the gates of hell. My life was horrible. Nothing left for me to live for. Nothing else to hold onto. I dropped my hands.

"So, it has finally led to this," I murmured as I stared at the computer screen. I faked a smile. The gun I had just picked up in my hand was nice and cold. Cold. That is a word I like. The gun was pure black. I like black too. I considered stopping myself from doing what I was going to do. I shook my head. It had to be done today. I pulled the gun upward and was about at my neck when my mom called me.

"Sweetie, you have a phone call!" she yelled from downstairs. I put the gun down and quickly grabbed the phone. It was just some telemarketer. I wondered how they got hold of my name.

'Heck, how do the get hold of anyone's name?' I thought. I picked the gun back up. Enough interuptions. I put the gun to the side of my head. I thought that maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I could fix things. Then the words came. I tried to block them out; I tried to think about not doing it.

"Nobody likes you..."

I thought about my mom. How much she would worry. I thought about anything but the words.

"Everyone's left you..."

'No!' I thought. 'I won't let it control my life! I will live for another-'

"THEY'RE ALL OUT WITHOUT YOU, HAVING FUN!"

**********************************************************

I wrote this story one time when I was staying up really late. Just tell me what you think, if it's bad or good. ;) Oh, if you didn't already get it, the girl commited suicide, mostly because she learned she had been abanded by her real mom, and she had just got dumped...

White_Winter_Wolf
June 8th, 2005, 11:43 AM
Its really... creepy. I'll say that. Its really good but like I said, creepy 9.5 out of 10

Kyosuke
June 8th, 2005, 03:49 PM
Wow I love the way that you wrote it, a bit short.... but it was great ^^.

The only thing is that it dosun't really go into detail into exactly what happened, it just starts off as thoughts of suicide and ending with her having a battle with her coincense if she should go through with it or not.

But even without that, with whats there you did a great job ^^'.

Dark Mage
June 8th, 2005, 04:28 PM
I'll say it's the best suicide story I've ever heard, and it's the only one so far. :3

愛Forgotten Angel愛
June 8th, 2005, 06:33 PM
Wow...I didn't think it was that good...Thanks everybody!

Geometric-sama
June 8th, 2005, 06:35 PM
Eh, it's very short, and doesn't really have the tension something like this needs. Also hard to understand context, requires a little more background. 6/10

Kratos
June 8th, 2005, 06:39 PM
This is quite good I listen to that Green Day song alot. I give it a 100/10. Does this represent your old life? I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Psychotic_Demon
June 9th, 2005, 08:12 PM
I can understand exactly what this girl is going through. But, I prefer other meathods of suicide...

Either way, it was a really good story. There could have been a bit more description in it, like her surroundings, the girl herself, and a few other things, but it was very good. Great job, Shade. I hope to see more of your stories.

Lido
June 9th, 2005, 08:14 PM
Wow... Creepy as hell! 10/10! Best fan-fic i'v read in a while I'll tell ya!