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Lily
June 14th, 2005, 06:52 PM
full metal alchemist, like, so pwns. ;D






part 1







From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:32 AM
To: Edward Elric [email protected]
Subject: Greetings


Hello, Full metal. I was wondering, perhaps, if youd be delighted to join me for lunch later on this day. My colleagues will be attending this rare treat of mine, so Id advise you to come.

Oh, and do not worry. I shall refrain from commenting on your abnormal height. ^_^


From: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:38 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Permission


My sincerest apologies, sir, to interrupt you, but I am afraid I cannot allow you to go out for your midday meal. If I may so kindly remind you, the fuehrer has requested all paperwork signed without further delay by tomorrow.

Procrastination has its consequences, sir.


From: Maes Hughes [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:41 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Yo!


Heyyy Roy! I just gotta tell ya, Elycia is getting cuter by the day. Its phenomenal, really; her cuteness just makes the other parents cringe in envy. >w< Dont believe me?! See for yourself~

Oh, and uh, lunch would be fine but dont blame me if your little subordinate gets a hold of a gun!

PS: you two would make a good couple!!!1

PSS: get married!!!111! X)


From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:46 AM
To: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Subject: Re: Permission


My sincerest apologies, sir, to interrupt you, but I am afraid I cannot allow you to go out for your midday meal. If I may so kindly remind you, the fuehrer has requested all paperwork signed without further delay by tomorrow.

I believe, first lieutenant, that ones nutritious value is much more important than signing some petty papers.

Procrastination has its consequences, sir.

Indeed. Perhaps it is the reason why you have not yet gotten rid of AOL?


From: Jean Havoc [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:47 AM
To: Alex Louis Armstrong [email protected]
Subject: Coming?


Er...pardon me, Major, but is yer sister coming along for the colonels invitation to lunch? =_=; (yknow...Catherine...the cutie- er, sister. Right. Sister.)


From: Edward Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:50 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Re: Greetings


Hello, Full metal. I was wondering, perhaps, if youd be delighted to join me for lunch later on this day. My colleagues will be attending this rare treat of mine, so Id advise you to come.

Youre acting nice all of a sudden...but w/e ill go. (Im not paying & need 2 know wat time) Just cut taht eloqence crap. its scary how i hear your voice from the email.

Oh, and do not worry. I shall refrain from commenting on your abnormal height. ^_^

Right back at ya, colonel ****head.


From: Alphonse Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:51 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Gomen!


Ah! I just saw what brotyher tyjked and srry!!112 l;pmease pardn him!

And i a m sorry fir teh typos/..typimkng wuith a metal siut is dificulkt. ;


From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday. 9:51 AM
To: Maes Hughes [email protected]
Subject: Re: Yo!


Heyyy Roy! I just gotta tell ya, Elycia is getting cuter by the day. Its phenomenal, really; her cuteness just makes the other parents cringe in envy. >w< Dont believe me?! See for yourself~

-_- Yes, Hughes. Your daughter is unbelievably cute. [/sarcasm]

Oh, and uh, lunch would be fine but dont blame me if your little subordinate gets a hold of a gun!

Not to worry. Ive taken the liberty of concealing her gun in my drawer.

PS: you two would make a good couple!!!1

...

PSS: get married!!!111! X)

Hughes, I am seriously contemplating if manipulating flame through e-mail is possible.


From: Alex Louis Armstrong [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:53 AM
To: Jean Havoc [email protected]
Subject: Re: Coming?


Er...pardon me, Major, but is yer sister coming along for the colonels invitation to lunch? =_=; (yknow...Catherine...the cutie- er, sister. Right. Sister.)

Hmmmm? Catherine Elle Armstrong?

Hoho! As much as I would love to bring one of my many good looking Armstrong relatives, Im afraid Catherine is just too shy.

Maybe next time, lieutenant. Is there a reason you would like her to go?


From: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:56 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Re: Permission

I believe, first lieutenant, that ones nutritious value is much more important than signing some petty papers.

Pardon my audacity, sir, but petty papers? They are important documents in need of being legalized by your signature. And yes, ones nutritious value is highly regarded, but you are simply being lazy today, sir. (Again).

Indeed. Perhaps it is the reason why you have not yet gotten rid of AOL?

Actually, sir, I would prefer AOL than your highly predictable e-mails name.


From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 9:57 AM
To: [email protected] [email protected]
Subject: :)


Youre acting nice all of a sudden...but w/e ill go. (Im not paying & need 2 know wat time) Just cut taht eloqence crap. its scary how i hear your voice from the email.

Indeed, my voice is rather lovely, is it not? ^_~

Right back at ya, colonel ****head.

Tsk tsk, Edward. It is bad enough having to withstand your atrocious grammar, but misspelling my own name...?! I am mortified.

Youre as small as a bean, yet you never fail to amaze me with that big mouth of yours.

Sort of like our little mock battle, is it not?


Ah I just saw what brotyher tyjked and srry!!112 l;pmease pardn him!

And i a m sorry fir teh typos/..typimkng wuith a metal siut is dificulkt. ;

I can imagine, Alphonse. No need to worry, however. ^_^


From: Jean Havoc [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:00 AM
To: Alex Louis Armstrong [email protected]
Subject: Re: Coming?


Hmmmm? Catherine Elle Armstrong?

Hoho! As much as I would love to bring one of my many good looking Armstrong relatives, Im afraid Catherine is just too shy.

Oh...is that so? I spose its all right.

Maybe next time, lieutenant. Is there a reason you would like her to go?

A reason? Err- nono! No reason at all. *sigh* =o=


From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:03 AM
To: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Subject: Re: Permission


Pardon my audacity, sir, but petty papers? They are important documents in need of being legalized by your signature. And yes, ones nutritious value is highly regarded, but you are simply being lazy, sir.

Laziness runs in good looks, lieutenant. ^_~

Actually, sir, I would prefer AOL than your highly predictable e-mails name.

Yes, many ladies often find it irresistible to comment upon. Im flattered youve decided to be in the crowd as well.


From: Maes Hughes [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:05 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Re: Yo!


-_- Yes, Hughes. Your daughter is unbelievably cute. [/sarcasm]

Ah, yeah I know! I just knew youd agree!!1! I was just in the bathroom and stared at her cute picture the whole time~~~!!! *___* (And uh, now would be a good time to explain why this took so long).

Not to worry. Ive taken the liberty of concealing her gun in my drawer.

Good luck when she catches you! (Oh, and when you die, can I have your office? Im planning on turning it into an Elycia photography room!!)

...

Speechless, I see. Dont worry. All good relationships start out that way. X)!!

Hughes, I am seriously contemplating if manipulating flame through e-mail is possible.

Oooh~ Overprotective, I see! You have a good life ahead of ya, Roy. >w<!


From: Alphonse Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:07 AM
To: Edward Elric [email protected]
Subject: Brother!


Brother! I had Kain Fuery type this up for me, but how could you treat the Colonel like that?! Hes your superior officer! We should at least pay respect for him, dont you think? Can you promise me you wont do anything stupid during lunch?


From: Edward Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:08 AM
To: "Roy Mustang" miniskirt@addict@flame.net
Subject: Re: >:(


Indeed, my voice is rather lovely, is it not? ^_~

*gag*

Tsk tsk, Edward. It is bad enough having to withstand your atrocious grammar, but misspelling my own name...?! I am mortified.

yea, well, id like to see u try and type with one automail arm. let alone typing your horible name.

Youre as small as a bean, yet you never fail to amaze me with that big mouth of yours.

Sort of like our little mock battle, is it not?

STFU. WHORE U CALLIN BEAN?!

ill take you on one on one anyday, you son of a bitch.


From: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:09 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: Re: Permission


Laziness runs in good looks, lieutenant. ^_~

I highly...doubt that, sir, somehow.

Yes, many ladies often find it irresistible to comment upon. Im flattered youve decided to be in the crowd as well.

On the contrary, sir, I was merely commenting on the whole absurdity of it all.

If you do not mind me interrogating a bit, why was it that Ive found my gun hidden beneath yesterdays paperwork? Care to explain that, sir?


From: Edward Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:12 AM
To: Alphonse Elric [email protected]
Subject: Re: Brother!


Brother! I had Kain Fuery type this up for me, but how could you treat the Colonel like that?! Hes your superior officer! We should at least pay respect for him, dont you think? Can you promise me you wont do anything stupid during lunch?

o please al. are u taking the colonels side now?! and dont play rank with me...my fist coming in contact wtih his face depends if hes going to continu acting lik an asshole. -____


From: Alex Louis Armstrong [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:14 AM
To: Jean Havoc [email protected]
Subject: Re: Coming?


Oh...is that so? I spose its all right.

I will try and persuade her, if youd like. (But all Armstrong females are so very delicate and their beauty is most astounding! It shall be difficult, difficult! Perhaps if I show my glorious muscles, she will be swayed...).

A reason? Err- nono! No reason at all. *sigh* =o=

You seem kind of down, lieutenant! What is the matter? ....*__* ohhhhhh~ Is it what I am thinking?? Do you wish to SEE MY MUSCLES? I will gladly meet you at the Colonels invitation to lunch, and please, no flattery. :D


From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:15 AM
To: Maes Hughes [email protected]
Subject: Re: Yo!


Ah, yeah I know! I just knew youd agree!!1! I was just in the bathroom and stared at her cute picture the whole time~~~!!! *___* (And uh, now would be a good time to explain why this took so long).

Thats...nice to knowHughes. -_-

Good luck when she catches you! (Oh, and when you die, can I have your office? Im planning on turning it into an Elycia photography room!!)

My room is for military purposes, not for some photographs of your daughter. Save it for her prom.

Speechless, I see. Dont worry. All good relationships start out that way. X)!!

...

Oooh~ Overprotective, I see! You have a good life ahead of ya, Roy. >w<!

....do not aggravate me, Hughes. The weather is good today.


From: Roy Mustang
Sent: Sunday, 10:20 AM
To: Edward Elric [email protected]
Subject: Re: :|

*gag*

Gagging is a repulsive habit, Edward. Surely you would have known that by now?

yea, well, id like to see u try and type with one automail arm. let alone typing your horible name.

I assure you, my name is not horible. (You spelled that wrong, by the way. I just had to let you know).

STFU. WHORE U CALLING BEAN?!

You.

ill take you on one on one anyday, you son of a bitch.

You, taking on the Flame Alchemist? Do not make me laugh, Full Metal. (Actually, I am already chuckling). However experienced you might be, there is only one person who can successfully extinguish me. Perhaps when you grow taller. ^_^


From: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:24 AM
To: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Subject: ?


Pardon me, sir, but is there a reason you are avoiding my last e-mail?


From: Alphonse Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:25 AM
To: Edward Elric [email protected]
Subject: Re: Brother!


o please al. are u taking the colonels side now?! and dont play rank with me...my fist coming in contact wtih his face depends if hes going to continu acting lik an asshole. -____

ndsffj if qibn m iriu egi aic lmv iaeg adnb e is ioyr s uoerur offi cer s oayuieg !!!!!!!2`111213`


From: Jean Havoc [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:27 AM
To: Alex Louis Armstrong [email protected]
Subject: Re: Coming?


I will try and persuade her, if youd like. (But all Armstrong females are so very delicate and their beauty is most astounding! It shall be difficult, difficult! Perhaps if I show my glorious muscles, she will be swayed...).

I see...Pardon me for asking; Major, but erm..

.does Catherine have muscles? .-.

You seem kind of down, lieutenant! What is the matter? ....*__* ohhhhhh~ is it what I am thinking?? Do you wish to SEE MY MUSCLES? I will gladly meet you at the Colonels invitation to lunch, and please, no flattery. :D

I erm, I mean, er, uh

...BRB.


From: Maes Hughes [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:31 AM
To: Maes Hughes [email protected]
Subject: Re: Yo!


Thats...nice to knowHughes. -_-

Want me to show you pictures? >w<

My room is for military purposes, not for some photographs of your daughter. Save it for her prom.

...Prom? No filthy guys are touching my Elycia. I know what theyre up to. T__T

...

Roy and Riza, sitting in a tree~ (please don't hurt me *o*)

....do not aggravate me, Hughes. The weather is good today.

No it isnt. Its raining. ^o^


From: Roy Mustang [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:30 AM
To: Riza Hawkeye [email protected]
Subject: Re: ?


Pardon me, sir, but is there a reason you are avoiding my last e-mail?

Me? Oh, no! Not at all! Now why would I ignore my favorite lieutenant? ^_^; Your e-mail was well received, to say the least...

My crumpets are doing fine, thank you.


From: Edward Elric [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:32 AM
To: Alphonse Elric [email protected]
Subject: Re: Brother!

ndsffj if qibn m iriu egi aic lmv iaeg adnb e is ioyr s uoerur offi cer s oayuieg !!!!!!!2`111213`

O.O








[Somewhere else, location unknown]










Account: Lust [email protected]

Sunday, 10:35 PM

-Welcome, Lust. You have 587 e-mails-




From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:13 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: Luuuuuuust?


Lust?


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:13 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: :o


Im hungry.


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:14 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: o:


Im hungry, Lust.


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:14 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: o::


Im really hungry.


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:14 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: ::o


Are you hungry, Lust?


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:15 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: o_o


Lust?


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:15 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: :O


Are you there, Lust?


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:15 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: :OO


Im hungry.


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:16 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: O:


Lust?


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:16 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: OO:


Luuuuuust?


From: Gluttony [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, 10:16 PM
To: Lust [email protected]
Subject: o_o


Im hungry, Lust. ;.;






~to be continued

oni flygon
June 18th, 2005, 12:08 PM
Yay! Lil sis posted it! XD

As I said before, it's creative and funny so yeah! =D

Mr Cat Dog
June 18th, 2005, 12:16 PM
Pure genius. Simply genius. You've done it again, Lily.

Caroline
June 18th, 2005, 08:03 PM
That's very creative. ^^; Keep up with the great work. Oh and yes, FMA does rock!