Untouchable

[Cybex Mewtwo]

Immortal i must feel
for when the times get tough
things bog you down
and people are getting rough

Ideas flood your mind
things laced with the dead
you sometimes wish you were with em
but this thought you deeply dread

For you continue your existance
even when things seem bleek
And after looking into the past
it makes you wanna shriek

So immortal I must feel
for when the times have shown
to ignore the enemies around
and stick with friends you've grown

If life treats you wrong
Friends make it right
and immortal is how i feel.
--------------------
emotional...but doesn't make a lot of sense.....
Someone drop me an idea...

[Nagoyaka Aikouka]

You're right, it doesn't make sense. And, I'm sorry to say that it's not your best work. In all honesty, the poem doesn't flow at all, and it sounds rather forced. Rhyme schemes can be hindering. I think this poem would be much better if you would have skipped the rhyming and let the ideas flow from your conciousness onto paper. Take those same feelings and try it. If you like this outcome better, yay for me giving good advice! If not, well then, ignore me :P

[Cybex Mewtwo]

You're right, it doesn't make sense. And, I'm sorry to say that it's not your best work. In all honesty, the poem doesn't flow at all, and it sounds rather forced. Rhyme schemes can be hindering. I think this poem would be much better if you would have skipped the rhyming and let the ideas flow from your conciousness onto paper. Take those same feelings and try it. If you like this outcome better, yay for me giving good advice! If not, well then, ignore me
Glad someone else agrees with me! :laugh:
The only reason why it sounds bad is because I actually TRIED to do a poem...if you want...check out my older stuff. There was another poem that was a bombshell because I actually THOUGHT of it...

[Jolty-kun]

I really like your poetry, CB, keep it up =D

But i still dont know why all PC members do emotional poetry XD

[Cybex Mewtwo]

Emotions unlock the best in any work.

[Nagoyaka Aikouka]

*laughs* I think it's because we're emotional people. Kinda have to be to stick with things like Pokemon at the age of 16 and be involved in an online relationship... or is that just me? :P

[Cybex Mewtwo]

*laughs* I think it's because we're emotional people. Kinda have to be to stick with things like Pokemon at the age of 16 and be involved in an online relationship... or is that just me?

18...still collect, play and own pokemon games. So you aren't the only one...but an online relationship?..........nope......

[Nagoyaka Aikouka]

*laughs* Me and TAD, and it is working out to a T. Not something that we should talk about here though. *nudge nudge*

*nudges again* Three new poems in my thread! I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?

[Cybex Mewtwo]

*laughs* Me and TAD, and it is working out to a T. Not something that we should talk about here though. *nudge nudge*
T_T.....somehow after reading this I think I may have done an idiot move and never saw it....and I'll check yer poems out. They were intense and I bet these will too.

[Nagoyaka Aikouka]

Idiot move? *is confused*

We're spamming.. *is afraid a mod or mod-cronie will catch us*

[Cybex Mewtwo]

First, don't ask, and second...yeah this is kinda spammish....MOVING ON!

[blue eyes white dragon]

sorry. my falut (remove post)



~kasey