PDA

View Full Version : Parental Limits


Cherrim
February 24th, 2004, 01:30 PM
I don't know if the topic title makes sense, but I can't really think of anything else because my brain has turned itself off~

To start off, I have a question that you guys can all answer if you don't want to hear me ranting afterwards. (Yeah, it'd be more productive to make you read everything and give you the question afterwards, but if you don't care... you shouldn't have to.) Um.. yeah. Do you have any set limits on what you do or how much time you spend on things (computer, video games, etc)? Do you think they are fair?

Okay. Why am I asking this? Well, quite frankly, I'm a little annoyed with my mom right now over this very issue. Let me give you the background information. My parents, especially my mom, have always been a little on the strict side, but not very. When I first got a Gameboy and Pokemon Red, my brother and I were only allowed to play it for an hour each weekend. Meaning we had to physically set a timer to make sure we didn't go over the limit. Note, this is one hour for the entire weekend. So my brother and I would usually take half an hour each day. (Needless to say, it probably took me about 6 months to beat Red when it should have taken me a week.) Anyway, you can imagine it wasn't all that much better when we finally got an N64. We got 1 hour on Fridays, 1.5 hours on Saturdays and another 1.5 on Sundays. No time whatsoever on weekdays unless it's a special occasion or a day off. It's been like that ever since (although she doesn't seem to care about Gameboy anymore). However... that's just to give you an idea.

My real problem is with computer time. I spend a lot of time on the computer. I thrive on it. My mom has tried a countless number of times to give me a limit to it. She will, and she'll enforce it for... a few days and then she'll just give up. Now, I'm a responsible kid. I'm smart and I set my own limits. I'm sure all of you who have been here for a while have noticed my significant drop in activity from last school year and summer to this school year. That's simply because I've started high school and I have to try a bit harder to achieve my own goals. And I'm sure almost all of you have noticed that I haven't been on very much lately due to my new semester which has science and english, two of the heaviest subjects. I've been pacing myself and giving myself plenty of time for review and for projects. However... my mom set yet another limit. Now I have 1.5 hours on the computer every weekday (which may seem like a lot, but if you think about it, it's not enough time to really do anything) and I think I have... 3 hours on weekends. And I have to be off the computer by 9 on weeknights and 10 on weekends. This isn't enough time for me to do my job as an S-Mod on PC, a mod on several other forums, maintain my website, go over all my e-mails, watch my downloaded anime, and talk to my friends. Like I said, I practically thrive on the computer.

She told me the reason I'm getting such a severe limit is because my grades will drop. Considering I was on quite a bit last semester and I pulled an 89 average (90 including Japanese midterm)... I think I can take care of things myself. Therefore, yesterday, I showed her every single assignment and test I got back. A 93% on a science test (and science is my WORST subject this semester), a 9/10 on a short english opinion essay, and 40/40 on a french composition (it's another language!!). All of these were done or studied for while I spent my normal amount of time on the computer. We talked about how capable I am of maintaining my marks without a limit and I asked her to at least make it a little less straining, but she wouldn't relent because "there are plenty of other things you can do off of the computer". Her example was housework.

Now, I think I'm fairly tolerant about most of the things she does. My mom and I have a really good relationship... but I'm kind of going through my teenage years and whatnot, so I'm worried that if she continues pressing this limit on me, I'll eventually just start to resent her. I just don't know what to say to get her to lift this and until she does, I'll just be depressed whenever I'm on the computer because I know I'll only be kicked off in a matter of minutes and because I don't have time to do everything I want to. So... I'm basically asking what I should do. I don't want to rebel or anything, but I just want some help, because this just isn't working for me.

._. I bet my big, long topics scare people into not replying. *shrugs* We'll see... Geh... she came home from shopping, so this'll probably be my last post here tonight. *growl*

Haruka
February 24th, 2004, 01:35 PM
XD... atleast i'm not worse off.

I get 8 hours per weekday and 10 on Weekends during School Days. Summer Vacation is Unlimited.

No Gamecube or N64 intil Day Off and Summer Vacation.

IceKitten
February 24th, 2004, 01:40 PM
I'm annoyed of the safenet thats installed onto my computer, doesn't let me go where I used to go, so I go there at college instead, not as bad as ur problem, but...SAFENET DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kairi
February 24th, 2004, 01:54 PM
I cant say Ive ever had them, so while I do feel sorry and miss you a lot around here, I doubt my words will be useful or even make sense. However, I will still type them just in case. o_o;

I kind of wonder how well be like when were parents, growing up with all this stuff and knowing how much it can be enjoyed and stuff. Ideally well (Okay, not well be everyone else. I dont really like kids. Nyah. Besides this wouldnt apply because Id set limits to get them off so I could get on. Pff. o.o; ) let them have much more time than our parents did us because we understand this stuff. Parents really dont quite seem to grasp the internet and computers, and I guess they sometimes pay more attention to Fox News reports saying its all bad for us, rather than what their own kids have to say and show about it.



Im sure you tried to show her all the kinds of things you can and want to do, right? Nevertheless, before we go down that road lets look at it her way. Remember, I dont personally know your mother and this is all hypothetical, and Im sure shes a good person to raise someone of your character. Anyways

All she may see is her daughter or son in front of a screen for countless hours of the day, and doesnt understand it. She figures if she sets limits youll be better off, again media has a bigger effect on parents I believe than most people estimate. [The media] cant explain why kids grades are dropping, and thats a whole nother issue I could go at, but they like to exaggerate to get something to broadcast. Sure, maybe some kids do suffer hurt grades from too much computer time, yeah. It doesnt mean everyone who spends time on it will necessarily become dumb. Youve showed her your marks, but did you talk about how much entertainment it gives you? Sure, chores and responsibly are important in becoming an adult, but so many people are stressed these days because they dont relax. No entertainment can make your grades drop too.



^^Probably doesnt make sense, goes in circles, and says nothing. X.x;

Haruka
February 24th, 2004, 02:07 PM
I was on the computer last year and my grades didn't drop at all... o.o

Cherrim
February 24th, 2004, 02:13 PM
>3 The female parental unit left the house to go pick up my brother.

Youve showed her your marks, but did you talk about how much entertainment it gives you? Sure, chores and responsibly are important in becoming an adult, but so many people are stressed these days because they dont relax. No entertainment can make your grades drop too.
Sadly, my mom knows exactly what I do on the computer and how much I'm entertained by it. She knows I'm an S-Mod here, a moderator at TPM, and that I hold several other little jobs. She knows of my site since the bills go initially to my parents' credit cards. And she knows that I chat and watch anime on it because I'll usually have MSN/AIM open while I'm browsing the internet or I'll be watching something. My mom was happy for me when I was modded for the first time at Miyechi when it was around. But to give you an idea of how much she cares.. when I was first S-Modded here over the summer, I learned while I was on vacation. I spazzed a little bit and my brother got all hyped. My mom came in to see what the commotion was. I told her and all she could say to me was, "I just know you're going to resign when school starts, right?" That's just because she figured I'd spend more time on the computer (although... I was originally S-Modded because I was active enough on PC... no need to really increase my activity then). She just... doesn't care. She has a forum of her own she frequents, but it's not set up the same way as vB and I think the moderators they have are either paid or they don't make any of the posts. Therefore, even though I constantly tell her what my job requires, she just doesn't seem to take any part of it seriously. ._.;;

edit: *saw Haruka's post* I was on the computer a lot last year too (...about 4 hours on weekdays at LEAST)... and my marks never really suffered. I never did my homework at home, but I still got it done on time in class and I got good marks. >_<;;

Kairi
February 24th, 2004, 02:17 PM
Wow, hey my parents would flip if they knew I talked to people on a message board, or did anything not 100% related to games. =\ MSN? AIM? Id be shot on sight. ._.; I have to say though, thats pretty strict especially when they are paying for a site they dont let you maintain

Haruka
February 24th, 2004, 02:19 PM
AOL Guardian is evil too... it nearly disabled me from using msn or aim..

All last year, I had no time limits at all... >_<

Cherrim
February 24th, 2004, 02:22 PM
Wow, hey my parents would flip if they knew I talked to people on a message board, or did anything not 100% related to games. =\ MSN? AIM? Id be shot on sight. ._.; I have to say though, thats pretty strict especially when they are paying for a site they dont let you maintain
I'm paying for my site. They just subtract the cost from my monthly allowance. =\ The sad part is, over dinner the other night, my dad mentioned that he'd visited my site and he was a little disappointed at my lack of updates. Maybe it would be easier to make these updates if I could actually sit down and do things. ._.;;

Yamichu
February 24th, 2004, 03:31 PM
I can't say I've ever had limits in my computer time....I always get pretty good marks in all my subjects.
Though just last week my mother said this to me, "You should stop using that darn computar! You always on it and never doing your school work!"
And TRIED to stop me usind the comp...but I then stopped doing my skool work...then she let me use it again...YAY!
I wouldn't really stop doing my school work...I just threatened to.

Well really I don't care what she says.
I do practically live in the computer but it never effects my work.
I do actually do my work but I don't sit right in front of her and show everything I write!
She's sees my report card at the end of the year and it's all good and stuff.


~HORN!

Kairi
February 24th, 2004, 03:39 PM
How much does that cost anyways? I get no allowance, but if I want something usually

How does your dad feel? Did you talk to him, and/or both of them together?

Ice Lugia
February 24th, 2004, 03:44 PM
My parents are under the impression that all digital media can cause problems in excess amounts. I'd agree, except for the definition of excess amounts. Currently, I'm allowed no computer games or video games. I manage to borrow games occasionally, but since I've moved here, I don't know anyone any more. I watch some television, use some computer. I do sneak on sometimes. All I can say is to not complain, or at least not until you've been deprived of video games for so long.

Nebetsu
February 24th, 2004, 08:53 PM
Whoa that's harsh. My limit is, I use the computer for 2 hours, then take an hour break, then go back on the computer for 2 hours. This cycle continues until 9:00 when I have to shut it off. In the break from my computer I usually play playstation. Currently, I'm trying to beat FF9 and I have unlimited time on the PS.

Nebetsu
February 24th, 2004, 08:53 PM
oops! Screwed up and posted something here I shouldnt have.

orange*berry
February 25th, 2004, 02:58 AM
Naw... Y'know, my parents don't really care how I waste my time. My school work is very slow-paced and easy, so even if I spent 10+ hours a day on my computer, I still get good grades. x.x Guess I don't have much of a life, though. *shrugs* Basically, I just jump on the Community whever I feel like it.

Cherrim
February 25th, 2004, 04:00 AM
How much does that cost anyways? I get no allowance, but if I want something usually

How does your dad feel? Did you talk to him, and/or both of them together?
Just under a $100 per year. @_@

And about my dad, he basically just goes along with my mom since he's not home as much as she is to judge how long I'm on. But my mom has given me a little bit of a break. If I'm downstairs before 6:50 every morning I get an extra 30 minutes that night. And if I'm able to have breakfast and be completely ready in the mornings, I get the rest of that morning until I leave (about 7:05) to go on the computer.... something of which I'm taking full advantage now.

Next year I should be much better off. x3 I'm taking History in the summer to get rid of one big workload and instead of that I'll be taking Computer Science which, I've heard, is basically HTML the whole semester. Therefore, I should ace it without having to do any real work. o_o; And I can claim being on the computer is my homework. XD

Soph
February 25th, 2004, 04:09 AM
i am restricted to one hour every second day on the net...*sob*...

Phantom Angel
February 25th, 2004, 04:43 AM
Hm...no limit.
I can get on as much as I want.
However, I still can't get on when I am sleeping. =P

Kyosuke
February 25th, 2004, 04:51 AM
For me, I spent a very extensive amount of time on the Computer (basically as long as Haruka) and now I will be lucky enough to even use the computer at least twice a week, because of school work it happened until my next report card at least...... its been my next report card and now I can use the computer if I finsish all my homework and show it to my big brother. But this seimester that I have this year is much more work and I can't afford to fool around and not get all my credits.

Blaine
February 25th, 2004, 01:46 PM
I don't have any limits on anything, I set my own boundaries... My parents are erm... Well, nevermind. Anyways, I think it's amazing that you all can maintain such a regular schedule, I have trouble just starting on something like that... I s'ppose I ought to work on my procrastinative nature...

Kipkip
February 25th, 2004, 02:46 PM
I have no limits on nothing. I feel sorry for all you people who do have limits. My parents have no idea what I do on my computer half the time since all they know is about playing games on the computer which I don't do much. But you would think I would have limits because my parents keep complaining that I play games too much on the computer which I don't :P a lot. Pretty much, they don't really care how long I play video games, watch tv, or being on the computer as long as I finish my homework or Boy Scout stuff.

PGN
February 25th, 2004, 04:58 PM
i am responsible enough that my parents don't give me a limit, not to brag...
I feel bad that you guys need limits, i mean if you are responsible with your time on the computer, your parents will let you set your own limits... i'm not saying that you guys aren't responsible BTW.
I just can't use the computer @ my bed time, or if my H/W isn't done

digi-kun
February 25th, 2004, 04:59 PM
computer...definely...none on weekdays(evil parents)

John Denver
February 25th, 2004, 07:02 PM
I definatley have them...I can't be on for too long, becuase apparently the computer simply makes me STUPIDER! BAH!!

I disagree, half of all my teachings and values came from complete strangers who I don't know online...yes!

and a BOO ya! to that!

Haruka
February 25th, 2004, 07:05 PM
Yes, but is AOL Guardian is evil?

John Denver
February 25th, 2004, 07:19 PM
Dat made no sense to me haruka..is aol guardian is evil? Aaooo-uh?

hmm, I think that the internet parental crap things are just stupid, half the sites they block don't have ANYTHING!

ANYTHING I SAY! BOO YA! ANYTHING!

Haruka
February 25th, 2004, 07:47 PM
Yes... but I get general acess on internet content...

Miyu-chan
February 25th, 2004, 08:02 PM
My mom cares alot about my online time. She was very unhappy about me being modded. (My brother was a different story) And since we just moved here, she'd want me to study, study, and study... (and get a 4.0 GPA, which is impossible) I'm doing fine enough in school... And she also cares alot about my eyesight. (I'm not 20/20 ...) Seing how expensive glasses are... So now I have a online time of 1 hour. =/ Which isn't enough to mod, post, write in my xanga, check my e-mail, and chat on MSN... My mom also hates me chatting online with "strangers" It's not that I'll actuall get to meet ya'll someday, so what should she be worried about? *pouts*

100marios
February 25th, 2004, 08:36 PM
My mom cares alot about my online time. She was very unhappy about me being modded. (My brother was a different story) And since we just moved here, she'd want me to study, study, and study... (and get a 4.0 GPA, which is impossible) I'm doing fine enough in school... And she also cares alot about my eyesight. (I'm not 20/20 ...) Seing how expensive glasses are... So now I have a online time of 1 hour. =/ Which isn't enough to mod, post, write in my xanga, check my e-mail, and chat on MSN... My mom also hates me chatting online with "strangers" It's not that I'll actuall get to meet ya'll someday, so what should she be worried about? *pouts*
Same here! I'm supposed to have 1 hour for all electronics COMBINED......of course I don't follow that rule very much, and my mom doesn't notice it much either hehe....

LanceLite
February 27th, 2004, 12:03 AM
do i have a limit? .... yeah ....

TV only from 10:00 to 11:00 my favs- Even Stevens, Spongebob Squarepants, Pokemon are on (Spongebob and Pokemon at the same time, I watch whichever episode I haven't watched before).

Computer... no limit...

telephone... half an hour unless an emergency (hehe.... i talk a lot on the phone with my friends...)

and soooooo many other stuff....

22sa
February 27th, 2004, 09:43 AM
I get as much time as I want online most of the time. Thank God. :\

Avatar
February 27th, 2004, 09:57 AM
Nope no limit on me, i can do whatever i want, my parents dont really care.

22sa
February 27th, 2004, 10:07 AM
My mom cares alot about my online time. She was very unhappy about me being modded. (My brother was a different story) And since we just moved here, she'd want me to study, study, and study... (and get a 4.0 GPA, which is impossible) I'm doing fine enough in school... And she also cares alot about my eyesight. (I'm not 20/20 ...) Seing how expensive glasses are... So now I have a online time of 1 hour. =/ Which isn't enough to mod, post, write in my xanga, check my e-mail, and chat on MSN... My mom also hates me chatting online with "strangers" It's not that I'll actuall get to meet ya'll someday, so what should she be worried about? *pouts*
You won't? XP My dad hates PC and chatting, not for safety reasons but because of its pointlessness, but my mom? I guess she's loosened up over the years. My dad's not in Canada so I'm lucky. ^^' My mom does care about my eyesight and report card though. For me, a 4.0 GPA isn't impossible, rather it's the "study study study" party that's totally absurd and inapporiate.

Kairi
February 27th, 2004, 12:47 PM
Hehmy eyesight is already shot but my mom is going to make me have laser surgery to correct it when Im older. O.x; So that means I should be staring a screen as much as I can now to get the full benefit! or something. Im thankful to have a computer for school because I can type up a 60 page report and so on, but my hand gets tired after using a pen to write two sentences. ._.;

Haruka
February 27th, 2004, 12:58 PM
>_>... I used to get No Limit last school year... I liked it... though... but I get really tired though

Sorye HK
February 27th, 2004, 06:27 PM
I actually like the fact that I'm getting limits on my computer.
I get about 30 minutes every day. But my brother and sister get
unlimited time because they keep throwing and smashing things
if they don't.

Haruka
February 27th, 2004, 06:30 PM
Well, ummm... protect your computer... XD

well, anyway... I won't let anyone use mine... I lock it when i'm away.