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Frostweaver
November 7th, 2005, 11:30 PM
The Writer's Lounge isn't only for discussion. Let's use this opportunity to start a new thread to further improve our grammar for writing. Catch all grammar mistakes in the quoted text to put your understanding of the English language to the ultimate test!

Be careful about alternative spelling for different countries. The American spelling for "jail" may be the same for the British's "gaol." Assume that all Pokemon species name, and all Pokemon attacks require capital letters, treated as a proper noun.

"First come, first served." If you got nothing to say because everyone before you had said it all, then that's just too bad. Points are given to the best answers. Do take note that there may be multiple winners in a round because there are numerous ways to fix the same problem.

Write down what is wrong with the quoted text, and provide solutions to the problem. It's almost always true that there are multiple ways to fix the same paragraph, so be sure to write down your explanation to your changes. Let the game begin!


Question #1: Find all mistakes in the following text.

We have been discussing plans with Officer Jenny, who is a police officer in town. After talking for awhile, it was decided. It is going to be Ash, Misty, and me who are going to finish Team Rocket off once and for all. This will be a dramatic battle...

Yamato-san
November 8th, 2005, 02:37 AM
We have been discussing plans with Officer Jenny, who is a police officer in town. After talking for awhile, it was decided. It is going to be Ash, Misty, and me who are going to finish Team Rocket off once and for all. This will be a dramatic battle...

We had been discussing plans with the town's police officer, Jenny. After a while, it was decided... me, Ash, and Misty will be the ones to finish off Team Rocket once and for all. This will be one hell of a battle...

I changed "have" to "had" because the past tense just seems to work better for some reason, the sentence flows better if I just put "town's police officer" (a rewording of "a police officer in town") first. "After a while" also just seems better to me than "After talking for awhile", and I placed three dots at the end to indicate a short, dramatic pause. Having "me" before "Ash" and "Misty", again, just flows better, especially after the pause. "Off" before "Team Rocket", just plain sounds better once again. Finally, I took out "dramatic" because..... well, yeah, a big decisive battle could be dramatic..... from the readers' point of view. If used by one of the characters in the story, it just sounds real, real cheesey, and breaking the 4th wall to an extent. It's like they know there's an audience, so they're making it look good on purpose, as opposed to just acting out in a normal, realistic fashion. Because of that, I replaced "dramatic" with "one hell of a...." to eliminate that problem as well as have the same basic emphasis that the battle's going to be big.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna work this out in my usual style: faux transliteration.... better yet, the phrase seems simple enough that I can make this a real transliteration, going back and forth. Gives me a chance to work on some of my Japanese, too ^^.

町の警察官のジュンサさんを計画に話していた。末に、決まったんだ。サトシもカスミも...自分も。オレたちは全部ロケット団に倒す。これが...最後の戦いだ。

Machi no keisatsukan no Junsa-san wo keikaku ni hanashiteita. Sueni, kimattanda. Satoshi mo Kasumi mo... jibun mo. Ore-tachi wa zenbu Roketto-dan ni taosu. Kore ga... saigo no tatakai da.

We talked the plans over with the town's police officer, Junsa-san. Finally, it was decided. Satoshi, Kasumi... myself. We will defeat the whole of the Rocket Gang. This is... the final battle.

It's somewhat the same as above, only this time, I used "final" to have that same emphasis (since "one hell of a" doesn't translate well to Japanese so far as I know), and used a bit more dramatic pausing. Let it be known, I'm pretty sure Takeshi (Brock) is the speaker here, but I don't know if I quite match his style of speaking in that Japanese phrase, so please understand if you have knowledge of whatever speaking manners Takeshi uses and find that phrase to be a bit off.

Dragonfree
November 8th, 2005, 03:53 AM
We have been discussing plans with Officer Jenny, who is a police officer in town. After talking for awhile, it was decided. It is going to be Ash, Misty, and me who are going to finish Team Rocket off once and for all. This will be a dramatic battle...
Okay, "discussing plans" sounds a bit odd if I put myself into 'extreme grammar mode'; maybe change that to "discussing our plan". Saying "Officer Jenny" already tells us she is a police officer, so the last part of that sentence can be scrapped altogether.

Next sentence... either you say "talking awhile" or "talking for a while", if I know correctly, so I'm changing it to "talking for a while". Also, the second part of the sentence is suddenly in past tense so that needs to go back, I'd make it "we have decided" since after all it's not "it" that talked for a while, and just join up the two sentences with "that".

So, the next sentence, which is no longer the next sentence... "going to" is there twice, and I think it sounds better as "it will be Ash, Misty and I who finish" (since "I" should always come last and here it should be "I" rather than "me" to my knowledge).

I don't think there's anything wrong with the last sentence.

So, the final result:

We have been discussing our plan with Officer Jenny. After talking for a while, we have decided that it will be Ash, Misty and I who finish Team Rocket off once and for all. This will be a dramatic battle...

Casual Billy
November 8th, 2005, 04:01 PM
People fixed the quote already.

…your understanding of the english language to the…

English

The American spelling for "jail" maybe the

may be

Extra Credit????

Frostweaver
November 8th, 2005, 04:26 PM
People fixed the quote already.



English



may be

Extra Credit????

ajdflasjdlsjfds;ljfsa;jds *fixes*

But what's your correction for today's question? =D

I'll post the winner for today later tonight. True that the first to reply gets the advantage because there's more to say, but hey "first come, first serve."

prolific_rhapsody
November 8th, 2005, 05:19 PM
Originally posted by frostweaver
We have been discussing our plan with Officer Jenny. After talking for awhile, we have decided that it will be Ash, Misty and me who are going to finish Team Rocket off once and for all. This will be a dramatic battle...

The wrong words are highlighted above. Below is my revised version. I hope I'm not too late. Gotta love my grammar!


We had been discussing our plan with Officer Jenny. After talking for awhile, we had decided that it would be Ash, Misty and I who were going to finish Team Rocket off once and for all. This would be a dramatic battle...

The first mistake is the "have" at the beginning of the first sentence. It should be be "had" to blend with the tenses.

This is very simple. Ash, Misty, and me is improper grammar.
The revised "Ash, Misty and I" is the correct way to do it. That is the second mistake.

Thirdly, the "have" in the second sentence is incorrect. It should be "had," to comply with the rest of the sentence's tenses.

Fourth, the "will" in the third sentence is also one of the incorrect tenses. The right word in this situation would be the word, "would."

And fifth, the "are" around the middle of the second sentence should be changed to "were".

Sixth, the "will" before the "Ash, Misty and me" should be changed to "would."

Did I mention I that unless I'm in school or on PC that I write, CONSTANTLY?

Man, I'm starting to sound like a teacher....

Dragonfree
November 8th, 2005, 05:37 PM
This is my revised version. I hope I'm not too late. Gotta love my grammar!



It is very simple. Ash, Misty, and me is improper grammar.
The revised "Ash, Misty and I" is the correct way to do it. That is the only mistake.

Did I mention I that unless I'm in school or on PC that I write, CONSTANTLY?
*pokes* Your revised version is identical to mine, while the original you have is mine with "me" instead of "I"... o-O I'm not making a lot of sense out of that.

prolific_rhapsody
November 8th, 2005, 06:23 PM
Sorry, I fixed and edited it, as you can see above.

Frostweaver
November 8th, 2005, 10:40 PM
It's time to judge the responses I think?


Yamato-san: Beautiful response with many good corrections that improves the paragraph's diction on top of grammatical errors. The only problem is that "Me, Ash and Misty" is grammatically incorrect. You cannot use "me" as part of the subject. You must use "I," and it always goes at the end of the list. You needed "Ash, Misty and I." Due to this error, sorry!

Dragonfree: Another near-perfect response! The length of the sentence is shortened, and the redundancy problem is reduced once again. A new problem arises though, and that is "who" vs. "whom." Since you took out the verb "to be" (appearing as "are") from the sentence, "whom" should be used instead of "who." Close...

eventidemjj: I think that I'm seeing you for the first time here, so welcome to Pokemon Fanfiction Forum. ^_^; Sad news for our first meeting, because you also got one mistake in your correction. "Talking for awhile" doesn't exist. It's either "talking awhile" or "talking for a while." I can't help you there...


Although no one's answer is completely grammatically perfect, this round will go to Dragonfree, because her mistake is relatively minor in comparison. "Whom" is slowly fading out of the grammar book, making it the least controversial mistakes compare to the rest. In fact, some people will definitely accept Dragonfree's answer as perfectly correct. Dragonfree has the closest answer.

Dragonfree: 1
Eventidemjj: 0
Yamato-san: 0


Next question!



Question #2
Through the addition of punctuation marks and capitalizing letters, rewrite the quoted text so that it is a grammatically correct yet meaningful sentence. Explanations for the answer to this question are not required.

ash began to stutter i i i no that is not not true Pikachu will never do that that isn't it it isn't no way ill believe this hell not listen

Yamato-san
November 9th, 2005, 12:36 AM
no explanation, eh? Oh, thank god. I'm not really good at explaining why or how I write what I write, I just sorta do it. I'm pretty surprised you found my response great, even though most of that was me going "it just sounds better".

ash began to stutter i i i no that is not not true Pikachu will never do that that isn't it it isn't no way ill believe this hell not listen

Can I adjust this to my usual script style?

Satoshi: [Gulps and slowly backs away.] "I... I..." [Looks downward. After a moment, he clenches his eyes shut, and the fist held down at his side quivers. Lifts head up, opens eyes, steps forward, and shouts.] "No!!! You're wrong, it's not true!" [Holds up quivering fist and looks down at it.] "Pikachu.... would never do such a thing...." [Clenches eyes shut again, shakes head.] "It's a lie..." [Swings fist back to side before shouting again.] "I won't listen to you!"

I wonder if I should show off my transliterating on future questions. It would spice up the place just a bit, as well as give people a good idea of just how I work.

Dragonfree
November 9th, 2005, 05:06 AM
Ash began to stutter, "I - I - I know that is not - not true... Pikachu would never do that... That isn't it... It isn't... There's no way I'll believe this... I won't listen..."

Light_Azumarill
November 9th, 2005, 11:26 AM
Meh, I may not be the best, but I'll have a go at it. ^-^

Ash began to stumble over his own words, "I- I- I- no! That is n- not true. Pikachu would never do something like that! That isn't it; it can't be! There is no way I'll believe what you're saying! I won't listen to you!"

I'll give an explanation for some of it too. Just because I feel like it. ^^ First off, I changed 'stutter' to 'stumble' simply because stumbling seems more like falling that sounds more like something you would do when emotions are high; rather than just not being able to get the words out. Ash=emotional, not Ash=too frightened to say something. I added things like quotation marks and stuff. I cut down the first "not" to just "n-", because I always thought it looked weird to write that way. Just my opinion. I added "would never do something like that", because I just felt it made the sentence look fuller than the short "would never do that". I combined the next two sentences into one, again because of shortness and changed the second "isn't" into "can't be" for a nicer variety of words. The last two sentences I changed to reflect a more personal accusatory tone. I think this is something that people just do automatically in an argument. There are usually many "you did ___" and "you're wrong" statements in arguments; so that's why I changed that.

O_O Okay, so my explanation was long. I guess I'm feeling author-ish today.

Charon
November 9th, 2005, 11:44 AM
Ash began to stutter. "I... I... I... No, that's n-not true...! Pikachu would never do that! That isn't true, it isn't! Godammit, I don't believe you! I won't listen!"

Uh...not much really to say. Addded commas, hyphons and dot-dot-dots to make it flow. Also fixed some of the bits that annoyed me, including abreviating 'that is' which sounds too formal for Ash. I also added capital letters and whatnot... and changed the end bit.

Breezy
November 9th, 2005, 04:30 PM
*shrugs*

Ash began to stutter, "I-I-I . . . No! That is n-not true! Pikachu would never do that! That isn't it . . . it isn't . . . . No way I'll believe this. He'll not listen!"

On another note, what's the actual correct answer to the first question? Or did Dragonfree nail that one on the head?

prolific_rhapsody
November 9th, 2005, 04:49 PM
ash began to stutter i i i no that is not not true Pikachu will never do that that isn't it it isn't no way ill believe this hell not listen
Okay, I might not have been perfect the first time around, but I'll try again, I suppose.

Here goes:

Ash began to quiver with the fear and uncertainess that caused him to stutter in his response. "I, I.... NO! What YOU are trying to say to me is absolutely not..." Ash began to lose control of his emotions and burst out into a tear filled rage. "...NOT TRUE! It isn't!!! Pikachu wouldn't EVER do something that AWFUL!!! That... it... i-... There is NO WAY on this earth that I will EVER believe THIS! Leave! Now! I will NEVER listen to YOU AGAIN!" Ash sunk down onto the floor and drowned his sorrow in tears. He wished this had never happened...

So, there it is! I enjoy this game, it was a good idea, frostweaver!

P.S. I just had my name changed from link722 to eventidemjj, although I'm beginning to think I should have kept link722. But, alas, I'm stuck with this name for another six months. Oh, well. I also have another name that I rarely use. It is liquidfury. Well, off to another forum! I'll be checking back periodically for your response.

Frostweaver
November 9th, 2005, 04:59 PM
Reminder to *EVERYONE*

-the question DID NOT say that you can add additional words... the sentence will be completely grammatically correct through the addition of punctuations and capital letters (and nothing more.) As for how fitting it is for Ash to say it, don't worry about that as Ash said "that is" plenty of times in the show.

There's still... 4 hours left in the day to fix your answers ^_^ I already have a winner in mind, but let's see if we'll get multiple winners!

Dragonfree
November 9th, 2005, 05:50 PM
Oh, wait, I get it!

Ash began to stutter, "I-I-I... No, that is not-not true! Pikachu will never do that! That isn't it... It isn't... No way... I'll... Believe this, he'll not listen..."

I'm imagining a situation where Team Rocket tells Ash of their plan to tell Pikachu that Ash is dead so Pikachu will commit suicide or something...

prolific_rhapsody
November 9th, 2005, 06:19 PM
Okay, then. An additional entry:

The example:
ash began to stutter i i i no that is not not true Pikachu will never do that that isn't it it isn't no way ill believe this hell not listen

The fixed version:
Ash began to stutter. "I, I, I... No, that is not... Not true! Pikachu will never do that. That isn't... it... it isn't... no way I'll believe this! He'll not listen!"

*crosses finger and hopes that it is right*

Yamato-san
November 9th, 2005, 10:03 PM
Reminder to *EVERYONE*

-the question DID NOT say that you can add additional words... the sentence will be completely grammatically correct through the addition of punctuations and capital letters (and nothing more.) As for how fitting it is for Ash to say it, don't worry about that as Ash said "that is" plenty of times in the show.

There's still... 4 hours left in the day to fix your answers ^_^ I already have a winner in mind, but let's see if we'll get multiple winners!

How can you expect this of everyone? Seriously, "that isn't it it isn't no way ill believe this hell not listen" almost makes Satoshi sound like that doorman on The Wizard of Oz, and you're saying we can't add new words or majorly rework that part?

Frostweaver
November 9th, 2005, 10:57 PM
First, to answer Breezy's question, Yamato-san and Dragonfree's answers are both ideal if they fixed their respective mistakes. There is no definite answer since there are endless possibilities in terms of improving that little paragraph.



It's a much easier version of the infamous grammar question:

that that is is that that is not is not

Would you prefer doing the same thing with that "sentence" instead? ^_^
That's why this is a game where you will feel completely stumped once in a while. What's the point of a game if you can ace every question with ease?


Anyway, the real answers are: (yes, there are 2 possibilities!)

Ash began to stutter. "I... I... I... No, that is not... Not true! Pikachu will never do that! That isn't it! it isn't! No way I'll believe this!" He'll not listen.

(Note: The ellipsis can be exchanged for dashes in the beginning. It is not necessary to use a capital letter pafter the ellipsis, because this rule differs from country to country. The ellipsis after "not" can be a comma, but the ellipsis are better for the purpose of tone. Exclaimation marks are interchangable with periods in terms of validity for grammar, but exclimation marks are better than periods in terms of meaning. Ellipsis can also be inserted almost anywhere between the word "never" and "this" instead of the comma, period or the exclamation mark.)

You will realize that the phrase 'He'll not listen' is not part of Ash's dialogue in the answer. Though it is valid for Ash to say such a thing, but the tone of "He'll not listen" clashes with the previous stuttering (along with his state of disbelief at the unknown event.) If 'He'll not listen' is outside of Ash's dialogue, then it is more meaningful, although it is grammatically correct.

Now, a couple of answers are omitted because they added additional words, making the problem a lot easier than it was intended to be.

Breezy: your answer would have been accepted for 1 point if it isn't for "...." Ellipsis are either 3 dots, or 6 dots depending on what country you live in, however, I strongly doubt that 4 dots are also used for the ellipsis. I checked encarta and they don't show .... as a valid way to write the ellipsis either. So, sorry!

Dragonfree: It's just so... close. Your answer is grammatically correct, just like the answer for the winner of this round. Sadly, this question also deals with meaning. A choice of using the comma after "believe this" weakens the sentence, because the comma supports the normal tone of voice in that situation. In comparison to the chosen answer's choice of the exclaimation mark, his answer is slightly better in meaning. Yes, Frosty is picky to the extreme. You may egg bomb his house as a form of retaliation.


Eventidemjj has best answer for this round!


Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 1
Eventidemjj: 1
Light Azumarill: 0
Yamato-san: 0



Question #3: Find and list as many figures of speech or stylistic devices as you can in the quoted text! Be sure to tell me what the figures of speech or stylistic devices are! Bonus point for the one whom find all of them here!
(Hint: ... ... ... ... ...)

Grunt A: "Ewww!"

Grunt B: "I know, it's pretty ugly."

Grunt A: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh... what do we do now?"

Grunt B: "Good grief! Clean up the mess before the Boss finds out!"

Grunt A: "But what if the Boss comes in right now and finds out that we've lost the key to the safe? Then I'll be kicked out of Team Rocket! Or worst... oh the Boss will kill me a thousand times for that!"

Grunt B: "As quick as a crafty Ninjask! We must find the key!"

Grunt B: "Hey! I thought I told you to find it immediately! Gosh, you Slowbro!"

Grunt A: "I can't see anything! It's too dark!"

Grunt B: "Try to light the fire then!"

Grunt A: "But what if... the Boss... ?"

Grunt B: "(Darn it you're paranoid) Just hurry it up!"

Grunt A: "Ok, ok... The Boss!"

Grunt B: "What are you- Boss!"

Rocket Boss: "So, what should I do to those who lost the key to the safe?"

Yamato-san
November 10th, 2005, 01:42 AM
26 figures of speech and stylistic devices.

Dragonfree
November 10th, 2005, 08:03 AM
Ash began to stutter. "I... I... I... No, that is not... Not true! Pikachu will never do that! That isn't it! it isn't! No way I'll believe this!" He'll not listen.
But Frosty, now you're switching tenses. Ash began to stutter, which makes the narration past tense, but "He'll not listen" is present tense, meaning it must be a part of the dialogue.

Light_Azumarill
November 10th, 2005, 09:07 AM
XD What?? Okay then... I was really just following suit when I added words in there. The others did so I assumed... Anyway, I might try the new one later.

On a personal note, I really think it would be funner if we were allowed to add words in; it would give us a chance to compete creatively as well as mechanically. Oh well though. You're the boss Frosty. ^-^

Frostweaver
November 10th, 2005, 09:34 AM
But Frosty, now you're switching tenses. Ash began to stutter, which makes the narration past tense, but "He'll not listen" is present tense, meaning it must be a part of the dialogue.

You're right. I should have used begin.

Correction on last question: Eventidemjj has the best answer, with Dragonfree having the next closest answer.

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 2 (1+1)
Eventidemjj: 2 (0+2)
Light Azumarill: 0
Yamato-san: 0


@ Yamato-san: Wow, 26? Which ones do you have? I couldn't find 26 myself ^^;

Hmm maybe I'll add that you have to list the devices/figures of speech as well. *edits the question* (note: Since I added to the question afterwards, those of you who answered to this question before this post will not be disqualified for not listing which devices/figures of speech did you find.)


Don't worry. The next one is almost completely creative thinking/writing.

Light_Azumarill
November 10th, 2005, 12:39 PM
Cool! Creative writing! Though... I must admit there are better ones than me. ^-^; I will keep a positive outlook though. As for this one: *bold and bracketed are the figures*

Grunt A: ["Ewww!"]

Grunt B: "I know, it's pretty ugly."

Grunt A: "[Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh]... what do we do now?"

Grunt B: "[Good grief]! Clean up the mess before the Boss finds out!"

Grunt A: "But what if the Boss comes in right now and finds out that we've lost the key to the safe? Then I'll be [kicked out] of Team Rocket! Or worst... oh the Boss will [kill me a thousand times] for that!"

Grunt B: "[As quick as a crafty Ninjask]! We must find the key!"

Grunt B: "Hey! I thought I told you to find it immediately! [Gosh, you Slowbro]!"

Grunt A: "I can't see anything! It's too dark!"

Grunt B: "Try to light the fire then!"

Grunt A: "But what if[... ]the Boss[...] ?"

Grunt B: "[(Darn it you're paranoid)] Just hurry it up!"

Grunt A: "Ok, ok[...] The Boss!"

Grunt B: "What are you- Boss!"

Rocket Boss: "So, what should I do to those who lost the key to the safe?"

Meep. 11 is all I got. Hm... I know I missed some of them. There's porbably more. *shrugs* I'm not the best at picking out these things. ^^; Anyway, I have a question: do we have to actually say why they are figures of speech? Or do we have to name the kinds of figures of speech they are? I don't remember the technical names of them. Though, I could say why I think they're figures of speech. ^-^

prolific_rhapsody
November 10th, 2005, 05:48 PM
Yeah, another one! Here we go:

Grunt A: "Ewww!"

Grunt B: "I know, it's pretty ugly."

Grunt A: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh... what do we do now?"

Grunt B: "Good grief! Clean up the mess before the Boss finds out!"

Grunt A: "But what if the Boss comes in right now and finds out that we've lost the key to the safe? Then I'll be kicked out of Team Rocket! Or worst... oh the Boss will kill me a thousand times for that!"

Grunt B: "As quick as a crafty Ninjask! We must find the key!"

Grunt B: "Hey! I thought I told you to find it immediately! Gosh, you Slowbro!"

Grunt A: "I can't see anything! It's too dark!"

Grunt B: "Try to light the fire then!"

Grunt A: "But what if... the Boss... ?"

Grunt B: "(Darn it you're paranoid) Just hurry it up!"

Grunt A: "Ok, ok... The Boss!"

Grunt B: "What are you- Boss!"

Rocket Boss: "So, what should I do to those who lost the key to the safe?"

The words that are bold and underlined are ALL the figures of speech and stylistic devices that I could find. I found nineteen personally.

I am shooting for that bonus point...

Yamato-san
November 10th, 2005, 08:05 PM
I'm not exactly sure what a "stylistic device" is, but judging by the name, I think it's something to kinda spice up the speaking and the writing, like an exclamation (ex. Hey!) or, judging by your clue, a type of unique punctuation, maybe even use of things like parenthesis. Looking through it again, it looks like I was off by a couple, so I'm changing my answer to 24.

1. "Ewww!"
2. "pretty ugly"
3. "Oh my gosh"
4. "oh my gosh"
5. "oh my gosh"
6. "..."
7. "Good grief!"
8. "Clean up the mess"
9. "kicked out"
10. "Or worst" (sometimes when people say this, they exaggerate)
11. "..."
12. "kill me a thousand times"
13. "quick as a crafty Ninjask"
14. "Hey!"
15. "Gosh"
16. "you Slowbro!"
17. "light the fire" (the grunt could've had a lighter, but it could've also been a metaphor for a flashlight)
18. "..."
19. "..."
20. "("
21. "Darn it"
22. "you're paranoid"
23. ")"
24. "..."
25. "-"

Frostweaver
November 10th, 2005, 08:27 PM
Oh I see, you counted the repeated devices too. I thought that you found 24 different ones. I was like "... WOAH!?" XD;


Time's up! Excluding repetitions of the same devices, there are...

Grunt A: "Ewww!"- onomatopia (description of sound)

Grunt B: "I know, it's pretty ugly."- oxymoron (two words of completely opposite meaning, side by side with each other in order to convey an idea)

Grunt A: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh... what do we do now?"- repetition (repeating the same words/phrases), elipsis (omitting certain words), euphemism (substituition of word/s with other word/s that will normally have no meaning in order to reduce the offensive nature of the original word/s), perissologia (fault of unnecessary wordiness)

Grunt B: "Good grief! Clean up the mess before the Boss finds out!"- alliteration (repetition of consonants as the first letters in words)

Grunt A: "But what if the Boss comes in right now and finds out that we've lost the key to the safe? Then I'll be kicked out of Team Rocket! Or worst... oh the Boss will kill me a thousand times for that!" foreshadow (hinting an upcoming event), verbal irony (exaggeration)

Grunt B: "As quick as a crafty Ninjask! We must find the key!" simile (explicit comparison)

Grunt B: "Hey! I thought I told you to find it immediately! Gosh, you Slowbro!" metaphor (implicit comparison)

Grunt A: "I can't see anything! It's too dark!"

Grunt B: "Try to light the fire then!" Assonance (alliteration on the first sound in words)

Grunt A: "But what if... the Boss... ?"

Grunt B: "(Darn it you're paranoid) Just hurry it up!" Parenthesis (interruption of the natural flow)

Grunt A: "Ok, ok... The Boss!"

Grunt B: "What are you- Boss!"

Rocket Boss: "So, what should I do to those who lost the key to the safe?" erotema (rhetorical question)


There are 14 different devices used at least (I didn't count the really absurd ones that are a specific type of another device, with the exception of simile/metaphor. Simile is a type of metaphor, technically. I showed perissologia, and repetition is technically a type of perissologia too.) Technically there are a few more, but I didn't do a very good job of showcasing them, so I didn't bother with it.

The closest answer is Eventidemjj, with Yamato-san getting the next.

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 2 (1+1)
Eventidemjj: 4 (2+2)
Light Azumarill: 0
Yamato-san: 1 (0+1)


Ok, this one is all about writing now, and not grammar knowledge. Let's see how good you can write!


Question #4- Write a short paragraph that's pacted with details about Rattata in any style you want using exactly 60 words! At a very minimum, the paragraph must talk about these 4 points:
-Rattata's most famous attack is the Hyper Fang.
-Rattata's evolved form is Raticate.
-Rattata is a common capture target for beginning trainers.
-The Rattata family rarely appears in today's Pokemon fanfics.
If you can, you may add additional details about Rattata and/or Raticate in your paragraph.

Note: As a guideline, the 4 short sentences above have a total of 31 words.

Additional note: You may make up any details about Rattata as you like (such as its habitat, food source, etc), as long as it is within reasons and does not contradict the Pokemon Game canon (for example, saying that Raticate is a water type is obviously a contradiction against the canon.)

Have fun =D

Dragonfree
November 11th, 2005, 09:24 AM
Rattata, despite being the first capture of many Pokmon trainers, is not a common sight in the Pokmon fanfiction of today; it is at the most possessed by an occasional Youngster (Rattata being practically the trademark of a weak trainer). Otherwise Rattata and its evolution Raticate themselves are of less interest to authors than their famous Hyper Fang signature move.

prolific_rhapsody
November 11th, 2005, 07:01 PM
Yeah! Let's Go:


Rattata (pronounced 'Rat-uh-taht'), the normal type pokmon, is legendary in the fact that it is one of the most commonly captured pokmon by beginning trainers, mainly in the outskirts of Pallet Town. This pokmon's most largely known attack is "Hyper Fang." This move is more common among "Raticate," Rattata's evolved form. This pokmon family isn't featured in many fanfics today.

There's my entry, exactly sixty words (rat-uh-taht being one word)! I wouldn't miss this for the world!
Is it just me, or is it that when the work got hard, everyone left?

Yamato-san
November 11th, 2005, 07:26 PM
Is it acceptable to describe a scene as opposed to a data entry of some kind?

The young trainer released his Squirtle upon encountering Rattata, Raticates unpopular pre-evolution. Squirtle tried tackling its opponent, but missed. Rattatas front fangs glowed white before jumping at Squirtle to bite into its arm. Squirtles eyes and mouth momentarily glowed white before a small explosion came from its mouth. Rattata fled, and Squirtle sat, mouth smoking, half its life force depleted.

Doing an exact number of words is hard. BTW, "pre-evolution" counts as one word, right?

Frostweaver
November 12th, 2005, 12:42 AM
Pre-evolution counts as one word. You can also use that prose instead of data entry, but you didn't include all of the 4 points. Shouldn't be hard to squeeze in the detail about Rattata being a common capture target for new trainers, but I'm not sure how you can add in the fact about fanfics. Fix it if you can/want to.

I'll leave this question for a day longer to see if they really are avoiding it due to diffuculty XD;

Yamato-san
November 12th, 2005, 01:50 AM
um.... I thought the fact that it's a "young" trainer with a starter Pokemon was enough to emphasize that. I would've said "new Squirtle", but you know, I'm really hard-pressed on word-usage there.

Light_Azumarill
November 12th, 2005, 07:16 AM
Fwee! XD

"Rattata scurried quickly in the underbrush, purple fur blending with the shadowed spots. In his mouth, his prey, which he had subdued using Hyper Fang, a famous attack. He was quick; beginning trainers loved his kind, though rarely they mentioned them in stories. Popping his head up he noticed a Raticate. Someday, he too would evolve into that striking creature."

Hopefully, 'stories' can be construed as 'fanfics'. It's kinda hard for a Rattata to know about fanfiction. ^-^; Though, if it's not, I could change it I suppose.

Getting it exactly 60 words was hard; I started out with 74! XD

Dragonfree
November 12th, 2005, 10:00 AM
Heh, mine was originally 69 and had a bit about the Youngster who possess Rattata usually being defeated by the main character. Had to take that out.

Frostweaver
November 14th, 2005, 12:04 AM
Going to be away for a week or so, and hopefully no longer than that... sorry guys

Light_Azumarill
November 14th, 2005, 08:25 AM
Nooo! Now I shall be left in suspense!! ;_;

Oh well, have a good time wherever you're going! 'Tis the season to be gone a lot. ^-^

Frostweaver
November 20th, 2005, 05:05 PM
Ok I finished with Lily's birthday present now, so I can come back for the game ^_^; Sorry everyone.

Now for the last question... Going to look at the entry format first, then the story format answers. Since it is a lot easier to do this question by entry, I'm going to side with the story format ones a little more... let's see how this goes.

Dragonfree: 6 pieces of information (2 extra: first capture, trademark of a weak trainer)

Eventidemjj: 7 pieces of information (3 extra: pronunciation, location, type)

Now the story formats...

Light-Azumarill: mentioned 5 details (1 extra: purple fur) which is hard for the story format. However, the sentence about the prey being subdued by Hyper Fang lacks a verb and is an incomplete sentence...

Yamato-san: focused probably half of the word counts on the strength and the effect of hyper fang. Sadly, the point about Rattata being unpopular in fanfic isn't as obvious as Lighht_Azumarill's, and there's no extra information.

Therefore...


Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 2
Eventidemjj: 5 (4+1)
Light Azumarill: 1 (0+1)
Yamato-san: 2 (1+1)


No one is an obvious winner, so I awarded 1points instead.


Question #5
Look at the character profile below. Through the literary device of stereotyping, choose any Pokemon of your choice for this character and explain why your choice of Pokemon is a good *companion* for this character.

Name: Philip
Gender: male
Age: over 65 (senior)
Location:
-He lives in an abandoned lighthouse, alone
-The lighthouse is facing the sea, with a forest and a swamp nearby
-The region is humid. It rains very often.

Income: little

Hobby: Star gazing, garden planting, writing letters to his friends faraway

Physical abilties: not handicapped, but has some problems with bending over

Other information
-Relies on his own garden to survive
-The lighthouse feels surprisingly creepy lately...
-Owns a Miltank exclusively for MooMoo Milk
-Wants another Pokemon because he feels lonely

Yamato-san
November 20th, 2005, 07:47 PM
Exeggcute. It could've originated from the nearby forest, and being a grass-type, it thrives on the humidity. The old man likes having them around because, being seeds, they represent his love of gardening, and since there's six of them, they easily solve his loneliness.

Light_Azumarill
November 21st, 2005, 08:43 AM
Yay! I got a point! *does happy dance* Man... that sentence had no verb... o.o Must've cut it out when I tried to make it short enough. Oops. ^^; Anyway, about the new one...

I would say Volbeat.

Here's my reasons:

Volbeat are electric pokemon. Thus, the scary and old lighthouse would not be as creepy with its electric light-up abilities.

They also can fly; which means that they can help the old man pick up things so he would not have to bend over. Not to mention they can fly his letters to far off places.

As for the gardening, Volbeat is a bug pokemon. It may not be a grass pokemon with roots or vines or flowers or something, but it can help polinate, and perhaps attact others to the flowers/plants.

Eh, that's all I could think of. Seems to fit pretty good to me. Man, I had to think forever though... kept wanting to put down Ivysaur, but I really wanted to include the electric thing. I personally find the dark really creepy. O.O

Frostweaver
November 23rd, 2005, 12:24 AM
I personally really liked Volbeat as the answer because it's the closest to the answer I have in my mind (of course there maybe better answers compare to the one I have), but Volbeat isn't an electric type. Yes it's a shape that we have ANOTHER bug/flying, but what's what Volbeat is. Volbeat seems to be better than Exeggcute because Light Azumarill's answer covers the point about the creepiness of the tower and also help with the pick up. Exeggcute comes in 6s which is definitely creative for the loneliness matter, but Volbeat can also send letters so these two unique points kind of cancels each other out.

If it's not for the incorrect information about Volbeat, I would have given it to Volbeat ^^;


In case of curiosity, my answer in mind is Ledian. It can do everything Volbeat can do (including the usage of Flash to help against the creepiness, or if necessary, fight the ghost with its elemental punches/psybeam), but its pokedex entry also reflect a closer relationship to star gazing. The fact that Ledian draws energy from stars give the impression that Ledian is rather energetic at the night time, and usually an energetic pet is a great companion against loneliness. So, Ledian will be my answer.


Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 2
Eventidemjj: 5
Light Azumarill: 2 (1+1)
Yamato-san: 4 (2+2)


Question #6
The police, represented by Officer Jenny in the Pokemon World most of the time, usually uses Growlithe as their Pokemon of choice. The hospital, represented by Nurse Joy, uses Chansey and Blissey most of the time as well. There are several episodes concerning Firefighters in the Pokemon anime, and Captain Eden uses the Squirtle family there. The Postal office uses Pidgey as carrier pigeons in one episode as well. Every profession seems to have a Pokemon of their choice to assist them in their work.

What will make a good Pokemon helper for a lumberjack? Explain your choice.

Note: In the anime, Scyther, Machoke, Rhydon, Electabuzz and Pinsir have been seen before in a few episodes to assist in wood cutting and moving the lumber around in a Kanto/Orange Islands episode. Farfetch'd is also used to make charcoal within Jhoto, in the game and in the anime. Use this piece of information if you can't think of any suitable candidates, but you still have to explain your choice.

Yamato-san
November 23rd, 2005, 02:42 PM
よ~っし!追いつけたね。気をつけろう、エヴェンチデムジ、直ぐに一番ランキングが俺様の物から。
Basically, I just said "Alright! I'm catching up. Better watch your a** Eventidemjj, 'cause the top rank will soon be mine."

So, you're looking for one specific lumberjack partner, right? In that case, I think some of the things the anime used, like Scyther and Machoke, would be horrible without being partnered up with another Pokemon. Sure, Scyther can cut trees, it'd be awfully difficult to help carry them, wouldn't it? Machoke, meanwhile, has the carrying strength, but no cutting abilities (unless you consider punching the tree to fall down, which would only mess up the bottom of the trunk and waste some of the wood due to the rough chipping where it was punched, as opposed to what a perfect, straigth cut can do). Same goes for those others. With that in mind, I think the solution would be to find a Pokemon that's capable of both making clean cuts and lifting the log.

Celebi could use psychic abilities to lift, but it doesn't look like it'd be a very great cutter despite learning the technique in the games. Plus, it's a legendary, so there's no chance of it working with common lumberjacks, especially considering it's perceived as a guardian god of the forest, and lumberjacking kinda destroys the forest. I think any one of the fully-evolved grass-type starters would be perfect for the job, but which specific one is a different matter. They all seem big and strong, and they can make a clean cut with use of a well-aimed Razor Leaf or Leaf Blade. But Sceptile's not overly bulkey, so it may not be as well-suited for lifting the trees, plus, it would be near impossible for it to make a clean cut if Leaf Blade doesn't perform as it does in the anime (where leaves merge into a single blade... remember, if games, anime, and manga can have conflicting portrayals of a single technique, even to the point of being inconsistent in the same medium, the of course fanfic writers can portray it in several different ways).

All that leaves is Venusaur and Meganium. Hard to say out of those two, they both can use Razor Leaf to cut, they're both pretty bulky, and they both have Vine Whip to lift the trees (they can both learn Frenzy Plant as well, if they wanted to go for overkill). Looking at their bodily structure, Venusaur has the larger legs that look like they'd hold up more weight, however, it's also supporting a huge flower on its back, so it's possible it could over-strain itself more easily than Meganium if it were to carry even more weight (oddly enough, the Pokedex lists Meganium as being just barely heavier than Venusaur.... but then, Pokedex info is quite questionable at times). So, I think I might go with Meganium in the end.

Act
November 24th, 2005, 04:12 AM
Um... I was just reading through, and...

your answer would have been accepted for 1 point if it isn't for "...." Ellipsis are either 3 dots, or 6 dots depending on what country you live in, however, I strongly doubt that 4 dots are also used for the ellipsis. I checked encarta and they don't show .... as a valid way to write the ellipsis either. So, sorry!

That's not true. Four dots is acceptable, or so I learned... sometime. I know this was a while ago, but it confused me. I would have said six dots is ridiculous, but obviously it's been done. I remeber learning that you use four dots to end a paragraph, and three elsewhere. I'm not sure what Breezy's context was, but I juts thought I'd throw that out there.

prolific_rhapsody
November 27th, 2005, 10:12 AM
Sorry I haven't been on here, had a busy thanksgiving. I will not be able to get on today, so I hate to, but I think I'm gonna miss this question too, sigh. Will be on tomorrow, though. See Ya!

EDIT TO ADD: 12-4-2005, 5:21 PM E. time *adding onto this post because I didn't want to double post*

よ~っし!追いつけたね。気をつけろう、エヴェンチデムジ、直ぐに一番ランキングが俺様の物か ら。
Basically, I just said "Alright! I'm catching up. Better watch your a** Eventidemjj, 'cause the top rank will soon be mine."

Heh, not on your life, sport. My a** is made of steel! I'm back on now, so FEAR ME! Just Kidding...:rambo:

Where's Frosty?
It's been a few days since his last post... Although I am thankful because that gives me time to finish this question.

pokejungle
December 12th, 2005, 05:38 PM
Originally I was thinking that we could just have a pokemon hold axe...but I'll go on just their inate abilities.

My selection would be Alakazam. First off, it would appear as if it wouldn't do too well for cutting the trees in the first place, but I delved a bit deeper into its strengths. Iron tail would be the perfect move to fell a tree, for multiple reasons. Alakazam's speed would be bringing down the attack at extreme speeds, and you need to remember that iron tail is a steel type attack...comparable to a blade. Especially with Alakazam's small, but streamlined tail. In my view, trees would go down with one swift hit.

Then you've got to help your trainer move them somewhere, of course. That's where physical strength is left for a better solution: its psychic abilities. In the metagame, and in the "Pokemon World", it's renowned for having psy power above and beyond the average psychic pokemon. Ample energy to carry one, or possibly up to three average sized tree logs.

On a final note, Alakazam's speed would again help it out, just in getting things done fast. It could also freeze a falling tree using psychic to help in a dangerous solution, and it wouldn't have to move to grab the tree...making a safer enviroment for those working around it.

DarkCharlie
December 26th, 2005, 11:48 AM
What will make a good Pokemon helper for a lumberjack? Explain your choice.

Scyther can use Cut really well, but Pinsir can too. Pinsir also looks as if it would be able to carry wood. Scyther looks weaker than Pinsir, even if they can use Cut (probably) more accurately. Pinsir.

Frostweaver
January 2nd, 2006, 12:06 AM
I personally got Nidoqueen in mind.

It can cut (or use brick break) to cut the tree. It got strength to carry it. It got a very wide range of elemental attacks in stock for a lot of situations. Its type gives it a fair chance against most Pokemon that lives in a forest.

For Meganium, Vine whip can be used to hold the logs which is very true. The only disadvantage is that its type doesn't give it a very strong edge against the common bug/flying Pokemon that lives in the forest, should they ever attack cause their home is getting destroyed. Meganium does have access to Ancientpower to easily knock them down, but bugs are most likely in swarms and Ancientpower probably can't hold all of them at once...

Iron Tail can be very questionable. It just smashes the opponent according to *all* medium that shows it so far in manga, games or anime. Alakazam's tail is very small and we can all agree on that. So, what if the tail is shorter than the diameter of the tree log? >>; How effective it is in making a cut will be "interesting." Also, keep in mind that Alakazam got a very low strength to pull it off, too... Psychic powers will probably allow Alakazam to not just carry the logs, but simply teleport off with them if strong enough (if not, then just follow your method.) Alakazam is very powerful against the aggressive forest residents; all except Beedrill swarms, that is.

Pinsir isn't that much better than Scyther, and I personally think that Scyther is a terrible Pokemon for the job regardless of what the show says about it. It has an excellent cutting edge, but Pinsir will be pretty clumsy in carrying the wood (lol I got a mental image of Pinsir "dragging" the log by carrying one side of the log with the horns... doubt he can hold the entire thing with the horns or else he'll definitely lose balance when you're going uphill or downhill.) Again, weakness to flying with no access of abilities that hit flying types really don't help so much.

Alakazam and Meganium are both around the same in terms of usefulness, but I think that Yamato-san provides a better supporting statement as he considers all aspects of how effective a move will be in carrying the attack out.

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 2
Eventidemjj: 5
Light Azumarill: 2
Yamato-san: 6 (4+2)
Katsuro: 1 (0+1)


*kicks start the game again*

Question #1 for 2006
There are Pokemon that are definitely used more commonly than others in fanfics. Almost all the legendaries are all common sights in fanfics as the Pokemon characters. Why do you think that legendaries have all of this special attention in fanfics?
(winner is determined from their arguments and supportive statements)

DarkCharlie
January 2nd, 2006, 03:43 AM
I think that legendaries are common in fanfics because, in the games, most people want them. Also, some people like to base their fanfics on one Pokemon; maybe it makes it easier to write? Everyone likes the Pokemon Movies, which are also based on legendaries, so writers may try to do a Pokemon-Movie-ripoff. Legendaries are, though, special Pokemon; they are one of a kind, so some writers may think that it will make their fic exciting, regardless of wheter or not it actually works.
((No offense to anyone who writes about legendaries here!))

Dragonfree
January 2nd, 2006, 11:14 AM
Legendaries are popular in fics because they are more "interesting" than normal Pokmon, in the same way as politicians and other people in power are more "interesting" than normal people. A problem that concerns them is more of a problem, winning them over to your side is more of a feat, and being up against them is more of a threat. They make purer protagonists and more evil antagonists. It's like they carry an aura of exaggeration. Everything surrounding them is bigger, greater, better, graver. Nobody would want to read a story written in all seriousness about how a corrupt Rattata wants to take over the world, but if the Pokmon happens to be Mewtwo, it's a different story. The power and importance of the legendaries is therefore what makes them so popular, and undeniably effective, in fanfiction.

Sankari
January 2nd, 2006, 02:07 PM
(time for me to start playing this crazy game)

Legendaries are most often used by the writers who, say...aren't creative. In every Pokemon game ever created, legendaries are symbols of rarity, power, and sometimes beauty. Things of these qualities are interesting subjects to all of us, even if they are used over and over until they are worn and torn--even if they lose their effect of appeal to matured reviewers. Authors of these fan fictions usually get their "ideas" from the Pokemon movies, which lean completely on legendaries. I can only assume that these writers think that they are being unique.

--Don't yell at me for not putting the accent over pokemon. I, uh...don't know how O.O

Yamato-san
January 2nd, 2006, 04:53 PM
well.... legendaries are pretty much gods in the Pokemon world. Everyone of them is stronger than average Pokemon in some way (the anime and manga probably exaggerate their strength to an extent, but in the games, their stats really are like that regardless. The reason I use the term "in some way" is because in the games, some legendaries can absolutely suck in one aspect, like Registeel's offense, or Deoxys Normal Form and Attack Form's defense, but they excel in other categories, and their base stats combined still earn them a spot among the top tier Pokemon). Several of them are supposedly one-of-a-kind and have an eternal lifespan, judging by the fact that they've been around since the world's beginnings (the immortality issue was actually brought up about Mew, and in essence, Mewtwo, in the Birth of Mewtwo radio drama). And as a direct result of that, as well as how big of a role they played in the earth's history, nearly all cultures based tales and mythology surrounding them, which is why they're considered "legendary" in the first place.

Since pretty much everyone heard about them in said legends, there are those who seek them and wish to claim their powers as their own. This can be done through either a noble trainer protagonist striving to rightfully gain a legendary as a friend and partner, or an antagonist attempting to kidnap the Pokemon and force it into its arsenal. Sometimes, it's not just because they're strong that they seek legendaries, but it could also be because the legendaries have a unique power that no other Pokemon have which the character needs for something, like Houou's ressurection abilities, or Celebi's time-travelling (which, incidentally, was all the antagonist of the Special manga's GSC saga was really after), or Kyogre and Groudon's capabilities of forming the planet itself (which is exactly what Team Aqua and Magma based their goals on).

The reason legendaries almost always play a part in stories is because.... well, it's just kinda hard not to. With the world's culture, a mention of at least one legendary is bound to sneak in their somehow, and with their rarity and capabilities which could affect the entire planet, it's just so easy to make them a goal for certain characters, or to make them be a major character themselves in their own right (ex. a legendary becoming an antagonist, or assisting the protagonist), or something else that leaves your story with the impression of "this is big". That's not to say it's impossible to leave them out entirely... surely, quite a few Dragon Ball fanfics leave out the mystically powerful and highly-seeked Dragon Balls entirely (which, by halfway into DBZ, had become little more than a plot convenience to resurrect dead characters). Hell, it's possible to make your own canon, either leave out these Pokemon and legends surrounding them entirely, or water down their importance by making them nothing but a species, not one-of-a-kind, but just a little rarer and stronger than most Pokemon (you could make them as common and weak as a Magikarp, too, but I think that'd be overkill).

Frostweaver
January 3rd, 2006, 11:49 PM
Last day I did type up the stuff but then the forum won't let me post it (it just keeps loading and loading and never finish... -_-; )

I'm surprised how no one mentioned that most legendaries have a background made in advance to work with. Hardly any non-legendary Pokemon have any sense of background or an origin to where they come from, and it allows writers to have something to work with instead of some random creature. Most applicable one to this case is Mewtwo.

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Dragonfree: 3 (2+1)
Eventidemjj: 5
Light Azumarill: 2
Yamato-san: 7 (6+1)
Katsuro: 1 (0+1)
Spoony-chan: 0
Darkcharlie: 0

(btw Yamato-san, in the game some legendaries just suck in comparison to fellow OU no matter how you look at it... *cough*Entei*cough*)

Question #2
Change the mood of following quote from sadness to joy.
-you may use any narrative manner, from any characters' perspective, or change the narrative to script
-your focus must be on Joshua and his loss in his final round of the Pokemon League
-the concept of hopes and dreams cannot be taken out from your edit

Joshua's parents tearfully looked on at their young lad, surrounded by all of his friends, laying their hands on Joshua's shoulders in sympathy. Joshua's faithful Croconaw leaned weakly against the wall, condemning her inability to claim victory over her opponent for the final battle.

It is an undeniable truth that for every Pokemon master made in Indigo Plateau, millions have failed at their life long dream. Joshua lad cannot escape from this ill fate, as he kneeled down in defeat against this year's new champion. He was so close to his dreams! Yet, they were snatched away...

Sankari
January 4th, 2006, 01:16 PM
Question #2
Change the mood of following quote from sadness to joy. *You cannot change the concept that Joshua has lost the battle!*Do we alter the quote completely or do we add onto it? I'm sort of new to this game, obviously -_-;

Frostweaver
January 4th, 2006, 03:57 PM
Do whatever you want to the quote, but you can't change how he lost the battle. Of course, if by magic you barely alter anything and it still changes the mood, then that will score you the best points ^_^ Or, if you changed everything yet the mood barely improves, then most likely someone else did a better job.

If the question didn't restrict you in how to alter it, change it however you want.

Dragonfree
January 4th, 2006, 04:06 PM
Are we allowed to make the point of view that of Joshua's opponent?

Yamato-san
January 4th, 2006, 04:55 PM
(btw Yamato-san, in the game some legendaries just suck in comparison to fellow OU no matter how you look at it... *cough*Entei*cough*)

Regardless of what legendaries suck, there's no denying that they have an extraordinarily high stat total in the games. Look at this list (http://db.gamefaqs.com/portable/gbadvance/file/pokemon_rs_stats.txt), you'll notice that every legendary has a base stat total that's 580 or above.

Anyway.... narrative, eh? Pass.

Sankari
January 4th, 2006, 05:26 PM
I might have a chance at this ^^

Joshua's parents thoughfully looked on at their young lad, surrounded by all of his dumb-struck friends, bowing their heads in simple disbelief and barely blinking their eyes from pure shock. Joshua's faithful Croconaw brought it's powerful body up, it's shaking limbs resisting but still stabbing a go at it.

Joshua looked away from his faithful friend, smothering tears in his right hand. How could all of his hardwork--all of those countless days of strenuous training--come down to this...? He shook his head, trying to shake it off. He tried to wake himself up from the painful dream--

He felt his jeans bound tightly around his right leg. His tears ceased their flow. Joshua looked down and saw the young Croconaw looking up to him with teary eyes...and a smile on her face. A smile...? Then Joshua realized the important thing about this battle. It wasn't about winning. It was about the companionship he had created in his Pokemon. His tears ran clear of joy as he stooped down and embraced his best friend.

That's the best I could do O.o It was difficult, but fun!

Frostweaver
January 4th, 2006, 06:03 PM
Regardless of what legendaries suck, there's no denying that they have an extraordinarily high stat total in the games. Look at this list (http://db.gamefaqs.com/portable/gbadvance/file/pokemon_rs_stats.txt), you'll notice that every legendary has a base stat total that's 580 or above.

Anyway.... narrative, eh? Pass.

high base stat, but no use for them if you can't move cause your speed just happens to be your lowest and your def is equally sub-par... legendaries' stats that are "average" really hurt even if the base stats are good. You really need to concentrate on base stats that work very well together, then you can even have the worst stats in the other categories, such as Deoxys-FR. Horrid defense worst than Rattata, but so what ;)




Guess I should clarify my question a bit more... *edits question* I'll extend time and etc etc.

Dragonfree
January 5th, 2006, 04:09 AM
The champion walked into the arena to shake hands with the new, young winner of the Pokmon League and hand him the trophy. He saw the boy jumping up and down in sheer joy, waving to his relatives. Then he eyed the other boy at the far side of the arena, who was in tears, surrounded by his friends and family who comforted him.

The champion smiled slightly. Joshua, the boy, most likely did not realize how lucky it was that he had been defeated; he must have hoped and dreamed of becoming champion for a long time. But now, the champion himself would have given anything to be in Joshua's position - a fresh, young trainer with his whole life ahead of him, having experienced the thrills of the League and, what was more important, learned from them. Of all the millions of trainers who had entered the Pokmon league four years ago, the champion thought to himself, he had been the one whose hopes and dreams came true; yet now, he felt that he had been the unluckiest of all those trainers. Now he knew that his battling skills had only robbed him of his childhood and friends. Joshua was a lucky boy.

He looked into the excited eyes of the new champion, and could not help feeling that the one who had lost to him was the bigger hero.

Geometric-sama
January 5th, 2006, 04:56 AM
When's the deadline? I assume we're allowed to correct the grammar in the quote XD

Frostweaver
January 5th, 2006, 12:46 PM
When's the deadline? I assume we're allowed to correct the grammar in the quote XD

Try "asap." Usually I go for one day deadline, and extend it only if I made a mistake in the question, or if there's less than 3 answers to the question.

Of course there is grammar mistake in the quote. I'm not dumping THAT much time in to make sure the quote that's soon to be corrected by all of you to be perfect. ;p

Yamato-san
January 5th, 2006, 06:28 PM
-you may use any narrative manner, from any characters' perspective, or change the narrative to script

Ya don't say. Well, then... sorry if it's a bit lengthy. This is done in my usual style, scripted, faux transliterion, etc. And just in case no one's aware, Alligates=Croconaw.


Alligates: "ARIGE...!" [Flies backwards and gets imbedded into a stadium wall. Her eyes are shut.]

Joshua: [Steps forward, mouth gaping.] "Alligates!"

Alligates: "...ei..." [Falls to the ground.]

Referee: [Leans towards Alligates, observes for a moment, then holds up a flag.] "Alligates, unable to battle!"

[A silhouetted figure standing at the other side of the arena holds up a Monster Ball and uses a retrieval beam to return whatever Pokemon was battling against Alligates.]

Announcer: "Player Joshua is out! So, this year's tournament champion is...!"

Joshua: [Mouth still gaping. Stares wide-eyed at the arena.] "I..." [Collapses to knees.] "...lost?" [Lowers head and gets on his hands.]

[Over in the stadium stands, a small group of people are climbing over the railing into the arena. The group contains Joshua's friends, as well as a middle-aged couple, his parents.]

Friend: "Hey, Josh!" [Jumps down from the railing and runs towards Joshua.]

Alligates: "...arigeeeei..." [Slowly opens eye as the group runs past her towards Joshua. One of his friends, meanwhile, kneels down next to her.]

Mother: [Stops running and kneels down by Joshua.] "Joshua...?" [Puts hand against his shoulder.]

Father: "Are you alright?"

Joshua: "....gi...gi..." [Teeth and eyes clenched, body trembling. A couple tears roll off his face and onto the ground.] "Dammit!" [Punches the ground where the tears landed. His mother pulls her hand away in shock, then slowly puts it back on his shoulder as his body stops trembling.] "...so close... I... was so close. My hopes and dreams are..."

Father: "Don't say that!"

Mother: "That's right. You did your best."

Joshua: "Did my best...?" [Unclenches fist and spreads fingers across the ground. Lifts up head and calmly opens eyes.]

[Joshua's friend that knelt down next to Alligates is currently helping her up. She manages to stand back up, but holding her injured shoulder with her other hand. Someone suddenly shouts...]

???: "Nii-chan!"

[Joshua turns his head shortly before a little girl, his sister, runs up, jumps up to him while wrapping her arms around his neck, and hugs him. His mother immediately pulls her hand away and stands up after a moment. Joshua looks down at the girl confusedly.]

Sister: "Nii-chan's so cool! You placed second in the whole tournament!"

Joshua: [Widens eyes.] "Ah...?"

Sister: "You'll get first place some day, for sure!"

Joshua: [Looks down at his sister for a moment, then nods head.] "Yeah..." [Wraps hands around his sister's back.] "For sure."

[Joshua looks around him. One of his friends smiles and gives him a thumb-up. His father stands beside his mother, who's smiling and trying to wipe tears swelling up in her eyes, and has his hand on her shoulder. He too smiles towards his son.]

Alligates: [Slowly walks towards her trainer, still clenching shoulder. Stops in front of him and looks up at his face.] "Arigei." [Grins and nods toward him.]

[Joshua lets go of his sister, who stands up and backs away from her brother, and then leans towards his Pokemon to rub her chin.]

Alligates: [Closes eyes and purrs in enjoyment.] "Riiiii..."

[The sound of footsteps approach. Joshua stops, and everyone looks up to see the silhouetted trainer, who holds its hand out toward Joshua. Joshua stands up, looks at his former opponent, and slowly brings his hand towards the champion's while smirking. As soon as the hands meet, an outward view of the stadium is shown.]

Joshua (narration): "That's right... some day, I'll surely win. It's a promise."

prolific_rhapsody
January 5th, 2006, 09:07 PM
Oh, MY, GOSH!!!!

I am really apologetic about not being on here. It's been rough, at home. Very hectic... I got grounded for two weeks in December, up 'til right before Christmas. No 'puter. PERIOD!!! But, that wasn't what I meant by rough. I'll probably say something later about it. *Sigh...*

...but I am DEFINITELY getting back on tomorrow, every day but Sunday. And I WILL BEAT YOU, YAMATO-SAN!!! I'll get my points back up, just you wait...

This was just a notification to let everyone know that I haven't forgotten about this.
I hope I'm not out of place posting it here.
See ya tomorrow.

Frostweaver
January 6th, 2006, 02:08 AM
Just type your response if you want to eventidemjj XD; sometimes, people skip questions due to whatever reason and that's completely fine too.

Waiting for Jedi_Amara's response, eventidemjj's response and possibly Lily's response actually... because afterall, friends can get some biased help from time to time ;p (well, mainly it's that I'm not finish with the next question yet XD; )

Just one more day and we'll seriously move on *cough*

pokejungle
January 6th, 2006, 02:05 PM
...I'm attempting to actually edit the quote so that it's joyful. Everyone else seems to have just re-written everything. I'm willing to be the minority o.o;

Joshua's parents tearfully looked on at their young lad, surrounded by all of his friends, laying their hands on Joshua's shoulders in sympathy. Their tears were not only of sadness, but also of pride. Their little Josh had just lost...but lost against the Elite 4, a chance most trainers wouldn't even get! Meahwhile, Joshua's faithful Croconaw leaned weakly against the wall, condemning her inability to claim victory over her opponent for the final battle. Josh though, only hugged her and accepted what had happened. Another loss, another lesson. He hugged her once more, assuring her that their bond was one that would survive the outcome of any battle, important or not.

It is an undeniable truth that for every Pokemon master made in Indigo Plateau, millions have failed at their life long dream. Joshua couldn't escape from that ill fate, as he kneeled down in defeat against this year's new champion. He was so close to his dreams! Yet, they were snatched away... This was what he needed though, a stronger resolve to train. A stronger will to win. He looked up at the new champion, but only saw a challenge through eyes blurred with emotion. He smiled, admitted defeat, and started planning his trip to Jhoto.


Ok, that definitely wasn't my best work o_o; But~ that's what I want to submit XD How sad~

Lily
January 6th, 2006, 03:17 PM
Frosty, I'm not submitting an entry for this particular challenge... for, erm, personal reasons. =) So...I'll just wait until the next one, k?

Frostweaver
January 7th, 2006, 04:40 AM
Although I hold a very strong liking to Dragonfree's, but I honestly can't give anything for it... simply because the mood didn't change. It's just shifting the depressive light from Joshua to the champion instead. I liked that response more than any other ones though...

It was hard deciding who has the better response between Spoony-chan and Yamato-san, but due to the fact that Spoony-chan changed the original quote the least (I didn't consider the narrative change as a "change" but the fact that a new character is used in Yamato-san's response), Spoony-chan will be the one receiving the +2 instead.

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Darkcharlie: 0
Dragonfree: 3
Eventidemjj: 5
Katsuro: 1
Light Azumarill: 2
Lilypichu: 0
Spoony-chan: 0
Yamato-san: 8 (7+1)
Spoony~chan: 2 (0+2)


Question #3: Pokemon Battle Creativity
It is a double battle against a Pidgeot and a Donphan. The opponent unleash a combo of Donphan using Earthquake, while Pidgeot releases a powerful Air Cutter to hit any flying/levitating Pokemon. Following the listed requirements down below, use a creative way for your two Pokemon to negate/nullify/evade the Earthquake-Air Cutter combo.

Requirements
-Use any narrative to any desired length to answer the question.
-You may alter the effect, appearance or shape of any Pokemon attack, but it must be sensible and within reasons.
-A Pokemon may use any attack it can learn through natural level up, any TM, any HM, any move tutor in any 3rd generation game version and/or any breeding moves.
-"Tanking" the attacks is *not* a way of negative, evading or nullify the attack. Sending a Skarmory to "tank" the attacks does not answer the question.
-The opponent's Pokemon have already unleashed the attacks. Knocking Donphan and Pidgeout out asap will *not* solve the problem. However, if your method of blocking the attack will also knock out Donphan and Pidgeot, you may do so.
-Assume that both of your Pokemon has 24% of their max hp, or less. Abuse this knowledge to the best of your ability, which you probably need to do so.
-The arena is an outdoor, rocky battlefield.
-There is no natural breeze during the day of battle. No Pokemon attacks have altered the cloudy weather.
-You may use any Pokemon of your choice that isn't a legendary, but only one of your Pokemon can be a flying type or has the Levitate ability.
-You may attach any items on to your Pokemon.
-You cannot switch out any Pokemon, or use any items.

Background Information for those who aren't very familiar with Pokemon attacks.
-Both Earthquake and Air Cutter are multi-target attacks. "Follow Me" doesn't work.
-Both attacks cannot be negated by Taunt.
-There are items that activate its special effect when a Pokemon's hp drop below 25%... finding out about them will definitely help you.
-Both attacks can be negated by Detect and/or Protect, but how interesting of a battle can it be if one sides just abuse protect/detect over and over again?

Answer is judged depending on creativity. Answers that rely heavily on luck factor (ex: Air Cutter "misses" the Pokemon as its accuracy is only 85%) will score less than others.

Start your answer with Pidgeot and Donphan unleashing their combo, and immediately end your response when your Pokemon have successfully negated/evaded/nullified the combination attack.

Sankari
January 7th, 2006, 03:19 PM
Awesome. I won two points!

I'll pass this one. This isn't my sort of thing.

Yamato-san
January 7th, 2006, 06:01 PM
the opposing Pokemon are a Flygon and a Sudowoodo. After Donphan and Pidgeot unleash their attacks, Flygon gets behind Sudowoodo and uses Gust. It causes an updraft (Updraft being the technique's Japanese name, for that matter), and the main purpose of this is to throw Sudowoodo (which is pretty friggin light as far as rock-types go) into the air. If it's strong enough, and manages to be blowing in the opposite direction of the Air Cutter blades (which, I can assume, are circular gusts of air powerful enough to take on a sharp, physical form), it may also score the bonus of completely negating Air Cutter. Flygon has a better chance of pulling off this bonus than any other (non-legendary) Pokemon with Gust, because its attack power is the highest out of all those Pokemon, allowing it to create a wind powerful enough, and should it fail, it also has a better chance of surviving than all those other Pokemon because it's not a bug-type or grass-type (several bug/flying-types and Tropius learn Gust), and its got somewhat decent defense (the only exception being Pelipper, but its attack power is horrid). For that matter, the Gust won't do much to Sudowoodo due to its rock-type and high defense.

Anyway, Sudowoodo's thrown up into the air, allowing it to miss the Earthquake, and when it's either above or very closely above the opponents, it uses a Rock Slide (either it forms the rocks itself or manipulates the rocky ground to hurl rocks up into the air before coming down). The type advantage should severely damage Pidgeot, but not so much Donphan. However, if Flygon managed to survive the Air Cutter, and if Donphan gets distracted by Sudowoodo, Flygon could just shoot a Dragonbreath towards it.

Geometric-sama
January 8th, 2006, 03:53 AM
ZOMG, I keep forgetting to come back to this thread x_x I will eventually *has been writing HP and Digimon fics* Sowwy Fwosty~ ;_;

*probably won't answer this question because I'm terrible at strategy*

Dragonfree
January 8th, 2006, 12:59 PM
I'm going to have a try at this; it sounds very fun.

Frostweaver
January 10th, 2006, 11:32 PM
I'll "assume" that Dragonfree is still thinking her gut out at that strategy question... so, instead of waiting forever, I'll hold that question on a pause, still keeping it open, but we'll be moving on at the same time.

Question #4- Fix and Condense!
-Fix all grammar mistakes in the following quote, without changing its content.
-Try to shorten the quote as much as possible (in terms of word count, and not character count)


"Don't worry 2 much about it. Said the moderator, as she sighed in relief. "Certainly, im sure that there will be visitors here again, just like before. Pokemon won't just die off as if it is nothing, because itll creat great memories in everyone. Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will eventually find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again from nothing! Your my friend and at least there's always me here to support you!"

Neko
January 11th, 2006, 03:54 AM
Can I try? If so, then...

"Don't worry to much about it." Sighed the moderator in relief. "I'm sure that there will be visitors here again. Pokemon won't just die off as if it is nothing. It'll create great memories in everyone. Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will eventually find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again from nothing! Your my friend and at least there's always me here to support you!"

Black Lotus
January 11th, 2006, 06:53 AM
Alakazam is very powerful against the aggressive forest residents; all except Beedrill swarms, that is.


Sorry if we are not allowed to discuss these things here, but I didn't see you ban it.

I disagree here. Beedrill is a part poison-type Pokemon, which makes him weak against psychic-types. To add that, Twin Needle, his best weapon against psychic-types, requires physical contact. Alakazam could shove it away with Psychic or Psybeam to keep it away. The Beedrill would probably be KOed by few moves. Alakazam could also teleport away when Beedrill gets close and again attack from a distance. If there is a swarm of Beedrills, like you said, Psywave would be ideal for the multiple targets. And again, Alakazam could just teleport to safety (along with his trainer).

Lily
January 11th, 2006, 02:58 PM
Is it possible, when condensing the paragraph, to alter the structure and some of the words? (As in, me => I'll, or just rearranging some parts)...so as long as it keeps the context (and does it have to be wholly specific?)

Sankari
January 11th, 2006, 04:53 PM
"Don't worry about it." Said the moderator as she sighed in relief. "I'm sure that there'll be visitors here again--like before. Pokemon won't die off as if it were nothing; it'll create great memories in everyone. Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will soon find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again! Your my friend, and I'm always here to support you!"

Did I follow the rules...? ._.

Frostweaver
January 11th, 2006, 05:06 PM
Do anything you want Lily... if the question didn't say "you can't do ______" then you can do it.

Psywave is fixed damage, mind you... See that's always the problem with ghost and psychic types. They *can* do anything if it's willed to do anything, and you can't call it wrong regardless of how terrible the odds seem to be. (If we're treating Beedrills like the show, then there will always be at least 20+ Beedrills attacking at the same time.) Fainting Beedrills with Psywave isn't a very good solution (Psywave doesn't get its super effective bonus like other psychic attacks.)

At the same time, you can also argue that Beedrill got agility to dodge a fair amount of stuff. Twin Needle may not necessarily be its weapon of choice, as there's always Hidden Power Bug. So, kind of see how the argument can always bend both ways if you have to be technical? It *does* work to say that Psychic can do anything, but remember that in fanfics, the most creative strategy always wins. Recall how everyone whined in the Pokemon anime about some of the gym battles. Charizard's first usage of Seismic Toss against Magmar is well loved, but everyone is so tired of Seismic Toss being capable of fainting anything later.

Noctowl's "Confusion throughout the whole building to hit an invisible Gengar" is considered lame. It does work because it's psychic powers, but it's a weaker argument in comparison to what Morty is offering. Morty forced Ash to waste energy on Foresight so Gengar will hit Noctowl when it is concentrating. It's either that, or Noctowl is forced to dodge forever because it doesn't know where Gengar is hiding in the shadows. In comparison, the tougher yet more logical pressure provided by Morty is liked more than Ash's rather simple response to it.

The last example is the previous question... using protect to block a lot of attacks work, but it's definitely loathed by experience Pokemon fanfic readers. Protect is totally abused by inexperienced writers (not all, but most of the time) to get a Pokemon out of a tough situation, in the laziest way possible. It works, but we readers are so tired of it... Most usage of "Mysterious Powers" and the likes make all readers cry real bad...

Isaac Gravity
January 11th, 2006, 07:16 PM
(Has no place in this but...)

Doesn't Protect (and Detect) used to block many attacks fail within the long run (EDIT: Or all together after the first shot.) considering the fact Protect losses accuracy the more its used?

Actually surprised Protect was used so much really. Thought it was one of those dead moves no one pays heed to.

prolific_rhapsody
January 11th, 2006, 09:11 PM
Okay, FINALLY! I am back in action! Number 4:

"Don't worry about it. Said the moderator, sighing in relief. "I'm sure that there will be visitors here again, just like before. Pokemon won't die off like nothing, because it'll create memories in everyone. People who remember Pokemon from the past will find this last Pokemon forum, and they'll make this place grow again from nothing! You're my friend and there's always me here to support you!"

I'm going to regain leadership! Bwahaha! *Stands up and goes to bed and sucks thumb while holding teddy asleep*

prolific_rhapsody
January 11th, 2006, 09:20 PM
The question:

Question #3: Pokemon Battle Creativity
It is a double battle against a Pidgeot and a Donphan. The opponent unleash a combo of Donphan using Earthquake, while Pidgeot releases a powerful Air Cutter to hit any flying/levitating Pokemon. Following the listed requirements down below, use a creative way for your two Pokemon to negate/nullify/evade the Earthquake-Air Cutter combo.

Requirements
-Use any narrative to any desired length to answer the question.
-You may alter the effect, appearance or shape of any Pokemon attack, but it must be sensible and within reasons.
-A Pokemon may use any attack it can learn through natural level up, any TM, any HM, any move tutor in any 3rd generation game version and/or any breeding moves.
-"Tanking" the attacks is *not* a way of negative, evading or nullify the attack. Sending a Skarmory to "tank" the attacks does not answer the question.
-The opponent's Pokemon have already unleashed the attacks. Knocking Donphan and Pidgeout out asap will *not* solve the problem. However, if your method of blocking the attack will also knock out Donphan and Pidgeot, you may do so.
-Assume that both of your Pokemon has 24% of their max hp, or less. Abuse this knowledge to the best of your ability, which you probably need to do so.
-The arena is an outdoor, rocky battlefield.
-There is no natural breeze during the day of battle. No Pokemon attacks have altered the cloudy weather.
-You may use any Pokemon of your choice that isn't a legendary, but only one of your Pokemon can be a flying type or has the Levitate ability.
-You may attach any items on to your Pokemon.
-You cannot switch out any Pokemon, or use any items.

Background Information for those who aren't very familiar with Pokemon attacks.
-Both Earthquake and Air Cutter are multi-target attacks. "Follow Me" doesn't work.
-Both attacks cannot be negated by Taunt.
-There are items that activate its special effect when a Pokemon's hp drop below 25%... finding out about them will definitely help you.
-Both attacks can be negated by Detect and/or Protect, but how interesting of a battle can it be if one sides just abuse protect/detect over and over again?

Answer is judged depending on creativity. Answers that rely heavily on luck factor (ex: Air Cutter "misses" the Pokemon as its accuracy is only 85%) will score less than others.

Start your answer with Pidgeot and Donphan unleashing their combo, and immediately end your response when your Pokemon have successfully negated/evaded/nullified the combination attack.

The answer (in story format, if that's okay. If you need the answer in a different way, tell me.):
My pokemon are Flygon and Medichan.

"Pidgeot, Air Cutter! Donphan, Earthquake!" said the opposing trainer, in a desperate pursuit for the victory of the battle.
"Flygon, use your Levitate ability! Medichan, Protect!" yelled Sean, in a rush trying to keep his Pokemon conscious in the fray.

I know that this was a bit of a fakeout, but I'm not very good with questions like this...

Black Lotus
January 12th, 2006, 06:24 AM
Psywave is fixed damage, mind you...

Oh, yeah >.>

(If we're treating Beedrills like the show, then there will always be at least 20+ Beedrills attacking at the same time.)

Then other than fire-types would collapse in that battle. There would be no one left alive. If you take more than 20 Beedrills and put them up against any of your Pokemon, your Pokemon will collapse faster than the Beedrills. It's cruel, but IMHO it seems quantity > quality. (Unless we're talking about Ash's Pikachu :\ )

Fainting Beedrills with Psywave isn't a very good solution (Psywave doesn't get its super effective bonus like other psychic attacks.)

Psywave has the benefit of area damage and it will certainly push the Beedrills backwards. It's a lot better than sending single Psybeams to take them down.

At the same time, you can also argue that Beedrill got agility to dodge a fair amount of stuff.

Psywave is a wide-spread attack, if ordered, so dodging that could be fairly hard. (But possible, nevertheless.) Psychic, as unbalanced as it seems, is quite undodgeable with physical speed.

Twin Needle may not necessarily be its weapon of choice, as there's always Hidden Power Bug.

And there's always Hidden Power [FILLER] which lets them take down anything they want. Hidden Power Bug occuring in 20+ Beedrill is possible, but not all of them will carry it. (Let alone, be smart enough to use it).

So, kind of see how the argument can always bend both ways if you have to be technical?

I know, but saying that Alakazam wouldn't be able to handle a swarm of Beedrills is kind of unfair. Seeing as Alakazam has much greater chances to do that than many of the grass-types for example.

It *does* work to say that Psychic can do anything, but remember that in fanfics, the most creative strategy always wins.

Psychic can't do everything, saying/using that excuse in a fic is lame, I know. Psychic is telekinetic attack, or it can be used in a form of psychic blast. Psychic can do a lot of things, but not anything. The best option is teleporting out, not very exciting, but wise nevertheless. Then they could return back to the scene later on.

Dragonfree
January 12th, 2006, 08:12 AM
Yes, I'm working on that other one, but here is my entry for the current one...

"Don't worry too much about it," said the moderator, sighing in relief. "Certainly, I'm sure there will be visitors here again. Pokmon won't just die off, because it'll create great memories for everyone. Those who remember Pokmon from the past will eventually find this last Pokmon forum, and they will make this place grow again from nothing! You're my friend and at least I'm always here to support you!"


EDIT: The other one. Just a quickie, but you're not judging by the writing style, are you?

“Donphan, Earthquake!” the other trainer shouted, pointing towards my Pokmon. “And Pidgeot, use an Air Cutter!”

“Rapidash, use Bounce,” I countered quickly, knowing that the Salac Berries both of my Pokmon had eaten moments before would allow them to react quickly. “Skarmory, use a Swift to counter the Air Cutter!”

The Donphan smashed its legs into the ground, but Rapidash leapt high into the air, higher than either of the attacks the other Pokmon had sent would reach her. At the same time, the Pidgeot started flapping its wings fast, sending sharp gusts of small tornados towards my Pokmon. Skarmory let out a metallic cry and shot a flurry of glowing white stars from his mouth that sought out the whirlwinds as if drawn there by a magnet and destroyed them.

Lily
January 12th, 2006, 01:51 PM
Do anything you want Lily...

That sounded like sarcasm. ;;

But anyway, here it is:

"Don't worry," sighed the moderator in relief, "There’ll certainly be visitors again. Pokemon won't just die off; it'll create great memories in everyone, and those people will find and make this last Pokemon forum grow again! You're my friend and at least I’m here to support you!"

I think I condensed it a bit too much.. o_o

Frostweaver
January 14th, 2006, 12:54 AM
Ahh too bad so little people tried the battling scene... I thought that it was fairly challenging and requires a fair amount of creativity myself. I don't believe that I a perfect solution to this either, but I'll share what is the closest I can get.

I'll choose Flygon, an obvious candidate for this challenge, together with (surprisingly,) Snorlax. Flygon has great type advantage over Donphan's attack, and its access to rock attacks can greatly damage Pidgeot in a counterattack after this incoming wave of attack. Snorlax is a powerhouse capable of causing tremendous damage as well. If Snorlax's trick work in this encounter, then Snorlax can possibly wipe out the opposing Pokemon with Flygon's help in one round.

Flygon and Snorlax will both have to use Salac Berry, as they need very desperate measure possible to outrun the incoming attacks. Flygon, being faster than Snorlax, can easily use Fly to dodge both attacks at once. Since Flygon attacked already, Snorlax can use its Mimic. Copying Flygon's Fly, Snorlax can also be magically lifted away from the attack. This combination of using two Fly attack will turn the table. Snorlax with its heavy weight from the high above will cause devastative damage in any form of counterattack...

The flaw in this plan is that mimic's usage is slightly twisted from the game. Right now, Mimic is capable of using the copied move immediately, and hopefully that isn't too much of a change from the original move. Another problem is Snorlax's speed in using Mimic, and charge up Fly fast enough to dodge Air Cutter before it hits... even the Salac berry may not be enough. As you can see, my answer is flawed as well, but personally, it's the best possible plan that I can possibly think of.

Both Dragonfree and Yamato-san's answers are creative in their own right, while both got the exact same possible flaw. Both answers sought to find a way to have one Pokemon completely dodge both attacks, while the other use an attack to negate Air Cutter. Gust's secondary ability to lift Sudowoodo, while causing minimum friendly fire damage towards it (as it's a rock type), is fairly creative. Bounce on the other hand is never heard of in anywhere, even in the game. Yet at the same time, both tactics require the success of either Gust or Swift to negate the Air Cutter attack. (Not really a problem, because I can't think of a flawless solution myself.)

As for eventidemjj's response, I think I talked about Protect being abused already... sorry =(

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Darkcharlie: 0
Dragonfree: 5 (3+2)
Eventidemjj: 5
Katsuro: 1
Light Azumarill: 2
Lilypichu: 0
Spoony-chan: 0
Yamato-san: 10 (8+2)
Spoony~chan: 2 (0+2)

Before we look at question #4, I'll first tell everyone that it got 84 words in the question...

Kakashi and Sasuke Lover: Welcome to our crazy challenge! ^^ Hope that you'll continue to visit us in the future. *You're* more than welcome to play, as we love *your* presence here. (You're vs your... Sorry, but you missed that grammar mistake in your response.)

Spoony~Chan: Yes you've followed the rules, but you also missed out the "your" and "you're" grammar mistake... sorry again!

Eventidemjj: No technical grammar mistakes... word count: 67

Dragonfree: No technical grammar mistakes either... but it's a 69 word count.

Lilypichu: finally you're playing ;p Lily has an incredible 47 for word count.

Now let me share my view on the quote...


"Don't worry 2 much about it. Said the moderator, as she sighed in relief. "Certainly, im sure that there will be visitors here again, just like before. Pokemon won't just die off as if it is nothing, because itll creat great memories in everyone. Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will eventually find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again from nothing! Your my friend and at least there's always me here to support you!"

The mistakes that *must* be changed:
-2 has to be written out as too
-part of the quote is missing a closing bracket for a dialogue
-there are a couple of missing ' marks (especially for the contractions)
-"people'll" is not a valid contraction
-Your has to be written as you're

Places to reduce word counts can be:

"Don't worry 2 much about it."
"Too much" isn't completely necessary. It does lower the tone, but doesn't change tone completely. The original content is still alive. Using an eclipses at the end instead of a period can help with the tone a bit to make up for it. "about it" can also be taken out because the dialogue will continue, and it's not too late to reveal the problem one phrase later.

"Said the moderator, as she sighed in relief."
-saying "sighed the moderator in relief" can reduce word count

"Certainly, im sure that there will be"
-certainly, sure and will all suggest the same thing... keep one, and take out the other two. Using "will" can probably reduce word count the most.

"visitors here again, just like before."
-again and just like before both suggest what's in the past... keep again, and take out the other part

"Pokemon won't just die off as if it is nothing"
-just isn't necessary, so take it out. You can also delete "as if it is nothing" by directly linking on to the next phrase.

"because itll creat great memories in everyone."
-saying "because it lives in everyone's memories" is not only better (a stronger emotional impact,) but also shorter.

"Those people who remember Pokemon from the past will eventually find this last Pokemon forum there is, and they will make this place grow again from nothing!"
-say "Those who remember will find and make this last Pokemon forum grow again!" will suffice. This entire paragraph is talking about Pokemon as a dying fad, and it doesn't need to be repeated over and over again. "From the past" is redundant, as it's implied by the word "memory."

"Your my friend and at least there's always me here to support you!"
-say "You're my friend and I'll always be here to support you." will reduce the word count. Also, the fix sounds stronger in terms of the supportive tone for the moderator in comparison to the old quote.

Final answer's word count: 45 (almost 50% decrease in length from the original)
"Don't worry..." sighed the moderator in relief. "There'll be visitors again. Pokemon won't die off because it lives in everyone's memories. Those who remember will find and make this last Pokemon forum grow again! You're my friend and I'll always be here to support you."

Breezy: 0
Charon-chan: 0
Darkcharlie: 0
Dragonfree: 5
Eventidemjj: 6 (5+1)
Katsuro: 1
Light Azumarill: 2
Lilypichu: 2 (0+2)
Spoony-chan: 0
Yamato-san: 10[/B]
Spoony~chan: 2 (0+2)

Yamato-san
January 14th, 2006, 01:15 AM
Both Dragonfree and Yamato-san's answers are creative in their own right, while both got the exact same possible flaw. Both answers sought to find a way to have one Pokemon completely dodge both attacks, while the other use an attack to negate Air Cutter. Gust's secondary ability to lift Sudowoodo, while causing minimum friendly fire damage towards it (as it's a rock type), is fairly creative. Bounce on the other hand is never heard of in anywhere, even in the game. Yet at the same time, both tactics require the success of either Gust or Swift to negate the Air Cutter attack. (Not really a problem, because I can't think of a flawless solution myself.)

Wait a minute, shouldn't I be getting more points than Dragonfree? Aside from the fact that you complemented my use of Gust, I did go into more detail about why I used the Pokemon and moves that I did, even explaining how only those specific Pokemon would work in the scenario (Sudowoodo's a light rock-type, and Flygon's not weak to Air Cutter and has a high attack strength to pull off Gust), and even made use of the rock field (even if briefly) by suggesting one possible way that Rock Slide can be portrayed. Dragonfree, on the other hand, doesn't point out what it is Swift has that most other attacks don't have, make reference to the rock field, explain why she'd use Rapidash instead of Grumpig to Bounce, or why she's using Skarmory as opposed to any other flying/levitating Pokemon capable of using Swift.

Dragonfree
January 14th, 2006, 06:39 AM
I think it might be because of this:

-Use any narrative to any desired length to answer the question.
You did not use any sort of narrative, but rather just explained what you would do. Additionally, considering Frostweaver asked for a narrative, he was probably not hoping to get a detailed explanation of why I'm using Rapidash instead of Grumpig or Skarmory instead of another Flying Pokmon (which there was no particular reason for, as a matter of fact, except that I like those two). I don't see why that would be needed anyway; he asked for a creative strategy to counter the attacks, not a breakdown of exactly why we choose to use a particular technique.

Frostweaver
January 15th, 2006, 10:50 PM
Ok... these questions are hard to think of x_x;

I do hope that some of these questions can help you in your actual fanfic writing. Try to think about some of these questions for your own story, and you may come up to a sudden revelation about your writing.

Question #5- Choosing Characters- Pokemon Characters
An author is interested in starting a new Pokemon story that talks of a complete collapse of friendship between humans and Pokemon. The government in power is trying their very best to completely eradicate every Pokemon there is, but a Pokemon antagonist constantly gets in the way. However, the author can't think of an appropriate Pokemon for this major character role.

Offer a possible Pokemon character who is fitting to be the antagonist of this story, and explain. Legendaries maybe used. If you see no existing Pokemon that is fitting for this job and wants to make a new Pokemon, describe what attribute does this new Pokemon need to have in order to take up this role.

Points are given according to how well you defend your chosen Pokemon, and if you truly considered different aspects when you choose your Pokemon character.

Yamato-san
January 16th, 2006, 03:53 AM
something like a vigilante, eh? Well, let's see.... there really is no one answer, because the possibilities are so vast unless you specify further. This Pokemon will either be taking out humans on its own, which requires skills, or it could be leading its own army of other Pokemon, which requires leadership (much like Mewtwo was attempting with his army of clones), or it could do both. Whatever the case, the Pokemon should be considerably intelligent.... although, it's kinda hard to distinguish the intelligence of certain species. We know Alakazam's smarter than a super computer, but then again, Pokedex entries shouldn't be taken to heart too much, since they talk about how Dragonite and the Latis understand human speech. That's an inconsistency, considering we all know every Pokemon in existence has at least enough intelligence to understand commands. Although, it might look a bit awkward to see dopey Pokemon like Numel or Slowpoke doing anything more than following orders.

Should it be taking out humans by itself, it's gonna have to be strong. If humans are wiping out Pokemon, they WILL use technology to accomplish it. Be it realistic destruction vehicles, or the numerous gadgets that Team Rocket has, they are bound to use it. The Pokemon's, of course, gonna have to be strong enough to take down such vehicles, or at least be strong enough to break windows or doors and take out the driver, maybe even just lift off the panel to a control circuit (if not, tear through it). The Pokemon should be very mobile as well, capable of reaching high places (like the afforementioned driver's seat to destruction equipment, or control towers), so either flight/levitation, climbing, or clearing tall jumps is essential. But more often than not, at least one of those (tall jumps) will be covered by another requirement, and that's agility. Humans use guns, the Pokemon would have to dodge bullets somehow. Though, alternatively, the Pokemon could just have a high defense and take those bullets. Golem, Steelix, Aggron, etc. don't seem like they'd have much trouble thrashing destruction equipment, neither. They're capable of climbing, too, but it's not like it'd be too necessary, considering they're probably strong enough to take out such things from the base. However, when it came to sea-based raids, like sneaking onto a supply ship or getting to an oil rig, those Pokemon would have some problems.

If the Pokemon's leading an army, though, pretty much anything is possible, because even if the Pokemon is considerably slow and weak, like a Caterpie, yet manages to provide intelligence strategies to its army, that shouldn't even matter. They'll likely have some personal bodyguards that do fall into the above categories, and both transport and protect their leader. Water Pokemon that are limited on land could also have psychic Pokemon that carry them around.

Frostweaver
January 16th, 2006, 01:40 PM
So Yamato-san, which Pokemon will be the most likely to have all/most these well-rounded attributes, enough to be a good choice of a leader? Or, do you think that a new Pokemon is needed because no existing Pokemon have the capability of even some of these traits?

Yamato-san
January 16th, 2006, 06:41 PM
like I said, there's too many possibilities. However, after Mewtwo Strikes Back, readers may be most accustomed to Mewtwo taking on the vigilante image than any other Pokemon. However, since people seem to really look for originallity in fanfiction.... when you think about it, even a Pikachu is capable of pulling off the things I specified. That oughta really throw everyone for a loop, being such an odd, yet original choice. But, if you wanted to be original, yet not so outlandish, I think the ideal vigilante would be a Pokemon with a human-like figure. Not Humanshape exactly, but have arms, upright legs, and the muscular build of your average grown man. Something like Alakazam, the Hitmons, Lucario, Sceptile, or Blaziken would work wonders.

But my personal choice would be..... [cough].... er, Sceptile.

Arach
January 16th, 2006, 09:43 PM
An author is interested in starting a new Pokemon story that talks of a complete collapse of friendship between humans and Pokemon. The government in power is trying their very best to completely eradicate every Pokemon there is, but a Pokemon antagonist constantly gets in the way. However, the author can't think of an appropriate Pokemon for this major character role.

Offer a possible Pokemon character who is fitting to be the antagonist of this story, and explain. Legendaries maybe used. If you see no existing Pokemon that is fitting for this job and wants to make a new Pokemon, describe what attribute does this new Pokemon need to have in order to take up this role.

Points are given according to how well you defend your chosen Pokemon, and if you truly considered different aspects when you choose your Pokemon character.

First time I'm trying this out, I'm kind of nervous. ^x^

It'd actually be prompted to go for a legendary on this one; probably Lugia. Here's why:

Leadership: Lugia's authority is unquestionable. Yes, brains is important, and so is power. But a Caterpie can't lead an army for one good reason: it wouldn't be able to compete against internal dissidence. The Legendaries, being the strongest of the strong (or so we can assume), can easily either crush or try to negociate around any disagreements. Furthermore, Lugia, being the mythical baby-sitter of Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres, has already shown that it possesses a bomb-proof temperament: if it can quell a world-threatening spat between siblings, leading an army single-file should be a piece of cake in comparison.

Negociations: Lugia can speak to humans, and this is a big plus. Having already interacted with humans (naturally, this is only if the author decides to take Pkmn2K into account), Lugia would have a far better chance of smoothing out excess conflict, and recruiting pokemon-friendly humans willing to help its cause. (But of course, there would still be conflict and bloodshed, or else what kind of self-respecting war would it be?)

Organisation: Like any institution, an army is run by many people doing many different things at many different times; communication can be very difficult to manage. Being Psychic and a Legendary, Lugia is telepathic by default (again, the movie gives this once extra cedibility, as it does communicate with Ash telepathically)--this means speaking with a number of different people at a time, which is naturally the key to keeping the machine running like clockwork, on or off the battlefield.

Credibility: Out of all the Legendaries, Lugia is probably the best suited for the job. What with the whole Beast of the Sea thing and whatnot, it's demonstrated its ability to keep a level head and assert itself. Mew, well...Mew, enough said. Mewtwo wouldn't want anything more to do with humans, in my own humble opinion, after two debacles with TR. Moltres/Articuno/Zapdos would want nothing more than to kill the two others than anything else--conveniently, Lugia would probably be able to put them under his command: I'm pretty sure they'd make effective generals, given the right incentive. Raikou has that whole environmentally-friendly thing going for it, but then again, so does Lugia. Entei might make a good candidate, but that whole 'I-shall-grant-you-every-wish' thing is kind of a turnoff. Suicune isn't a leader, although it'd make a wonderful scout, and Ho-oh hasn't made enough appearances so that I can pass judgement. As for the rest, I must confess my gaping ignorance concerning the Gen3 Legendaries/pokemon in general, because, well...Ihaven'tplayedRubyorSapphireorseenanyofthemoviesandIsuck. Plus, I stopped watching the show awhile ago. ;.; *sob*

The only incovenient side of Lugia is its size, which is rather problematic in terms of performing stealth jobs; however, this is why there are spies! In any case, for sheer showiness, a huge, good-looking, powerful pokemon can't be beat. Lugia, flying at the front of an army--what a moral-booster for the troops, not to mention the oppositon must be wetting their pants at the thought! Furthermore, since it's relatively unknown in terms of characterization, Lugia can be played out however the author likes.

CQFD.


There, now my brain is fried and I couldn't come up with more if I tried. u.u *dies*

PS: don't bother trying to understand what CQFD means. It's French, and a total insider besides XD
PPS: I'm totally confused as to those 'mother-baby Lugia' episodes in the Johto arc...I sort of only half-watched them. u.u *bricked* So I'll leave the validity of the above up to your discretion.

Lily
January 20th, 2006, 11:26 AM
An author is interested in starting a new Pokemon story that talks of a complete collapse of friendship between humans and Pokemon. The government in power is trying their very best to completely eradicate every Pokemon there is, but a Pokemon antagonist constantly gets in the way. However, the author can't think of an appropriate Pokemon for this major character role.

Offer a possible Pokemon character who is fitting to be the antagonist of this story, and explain. Legendaries maybe used. If you see no existing Pokemon that is fitting for this job and wants to make a new Pokemon, describe what attribute does this new Pokemon need to have in order to take up this role.

Points are given according to how well you defend your chosen Pokemon, and if you truly considered different aspects when you choose your Pokemon character.

I dunno. Mewtwo. ~~;?

First, let us remember that Mewtwo has darkened his outlook on humanity, or so we know based off its history. If the government (people) tries to eradicate Pokemon, then that alone will be compatible with Mewtwo. In other words, it makes sense considering between Pokemon and Human, there is sufficient evidence as to why he'd pick Pokemon. Coming from that, Mewtwo is fit to constantly get in the way, whilst the government continues to shred what last remnants of hope Mewtwo has for the humans. His true thoughts (hatred, or whatever) would be absolute. That would explain the 'complete collapse' between humans and Pokemon.

Also, I do not believe Mewtwo is as heartless as his exterior shows. It might be just an opinion, but Mewtwo does have Mew. Assuming he shares a tiny bit of what Mew has to offer, then his total avoidance with humans/Pokemon would be no more. Certainly he'd pay attention to the fact the government is trying to wipe out a kind of his own.

In terms of communication, it is shown Mewtwo is capable of human speech. Although negotiating with humans seem out of context, Mewtwo will pay more attention to the humans, anyway, since humans have always been poison in his mind. Not that he is apathetic towards Pokemon's existence or anything - it makes sense that he is more focused on the government's action, not the health and safety of a few thousand Pokemon. He's not that nice.

What Mewtwo does should be kind of obvious. Destruction for him should be no problem, with his psychic enhanced powers and intelligence. Bullets can be reflected off by his barrier (as shown in the movie), and he could simply teleport to another space if in trouble. If he needs an army...well, he DID lead this group of clones. As frosty had never mentioned exact fighting to take place, Mewtwo might just settle down with major blows to random spots in the government to harm them more - as in not taking it all out on them at once. Or he might just create mass destruction, as seen in either the anime/movie.

Mewtwo was never really much of a protagonist. He opposed everything and everyone, and the author might start off the story where the bond between humans and friendship is teetering. If humans try to extirpate Pokemon, then the Pokemon will no longer trust them. If Mewtwo sees the government committing such act against the Pokemon, he will most likely divert his attention to how low minded and deceitful they act, which will inevitably increase his anger towards humanity. His actions against their actions collide, and eventually the fragile string of friendship will snap.

So, in the end, if written from the perspective of the humans, Mewtwo will always seem like the antagonist. His motives might be vague in the beginning, however, but in the end, despite who wins, the feeling and intentions will not change.

~


I just chose a random legendary, although I was severely tempted to choose Pichu.