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phantom_zangetsu
November 19th, 2005, 03:36 AM
whew!! i even alomost shook the pants off me when i counted the poems i did last thursday...i felt weird though here it is:

I dont want to think about you
im all alone again
everything is gone
but is better for me
than to see you smiling at me

could you leave me here alone now
i dont want to hear you say
that, i need you, that i love you
that i dont want you to go

but theres one thing i know
i dont want you here anymore
you cant bring me dow
or just shut me up

i just dont ant to think about you
or think about the times weve done before
you cant push me around anymore
that to see you care for me

being a nobody is better
thatn being a somebody with you
im better of myself
and stand alone without you

i felt like hell when i was even closer to you
but when i got far
i can live without all lies

So Afraid
maybe im just not good enough for you
im not really sure
im scared to know the truth
and maybe i just dont wanna be with you

i dont want to get hurt again
i dont want to feel the same way
i had before
im just so scared

but how could you know?
i might loose so much feelings inside
im so afraid...
im out of touch...

the things we did and everything we said
means so much to me
but if you leave me right now
this might be the end...

i dont want you o leave
i dont want to see the end yet
my life is still depending
on everything we do together

but if it is the true way,
then i will continue this path i think is right
my life will go on and on
with you by my side

Myself
i find myself one day
trying to find who i am
i can see my shadow
disappear behind the mists

i feel like ive reached the end
i feel that my love has been used up
by all the people i cared
and stabbed me on the back

they took my care for granted
and never gave me respect nor freedom
they continue to consume me
untill im almost gone

untill that day came
when you saw me fading away
you looked down and smiled at me
so i stood and smiled too...

it was a funny feeling i had
trying to know you well
was something
i never experienced before

my world began to spin again
and everything was feeling fine
but when something goes wrong
i just pretend that the past isnt real

You and Me
so many voices in my ear
but none of them seemed to be clear
i dont know who to trust
my world is under a cloud of dust

nothing seems to last long
just like every other song
they leave me here and goes away
and leave my world astray

but when my world meets people like you
my world becomes so bright and blue
everything becomes crystal clear
and there is nothing to fear

my world spinns and spinns around
everywhere your image can be found
my world is finally free
now its just you and me

What should i do?what do i do to ignore my past
do i have to let go and fall?
or continue the path with scars
growing with every pain

do i walk this path alone?
or do i take someone with me?
or do i trust no one and live in loneliness?
or maybe end my road today

should i keep my feelings forever?
or share them and get hurt?
or make ignorance and sadness
take over me?

i dont know what to do
on how to forget people like you
its just so hard to face the truth
that i liked a person like you

so? what do you guys think? and no witch, its not about HER again...she is totally out of me head!!!

Witch Girl Pilar
November 19th, 2005, 01:30 PM
Oh. My. God. You. Made. 5. Poems. In. One. DAY??????!!!!!! >.< I don't think I can make 5 artworks in one day!

Anyways, uh, you only showed me the first one in school, di ba? But I think I like the 5th one best. So nice. Very emotional. Good work, dude!

fallen_angel
November 20th, 2005, 03:19 PM
WOW!! Never saw so much poems. ^_^ Haha great job!!*starts cheering my head off*

phantom_zangetsu
November 20th, 2005, 08:43 PM
thank you all!!...i think that it will be the laast poem youll see untill december 24!!! i just dont know...im...kinda...grounded...lol

Cybex Mewtwo
November 22nd, 2005, 07:20 AM
5 ina day? sweet. and each one of em are fantastic.

B-Baller
November 22nd, 2005, 09:54 AM
Who exactly is HER, Death_Bringer?

All I can say is, well done. Your way of words are so fantastic. If they weren't copyrighted I'd recite them to my girlfriend. XD

You could use a bit of capitalization and punctuation, but that's me.

And wow, that's probably a record. My teacher says that the best poems flow out of your heart, so you must have a lot of ideas.

Gaah, puno ng Pilipino dito sa PC......ughh.

Mari
November 22nd, 2005, 05:00 PM
Uwaa, five in a day~? :o Even my Ate can't do that! [Yeshy, Bart-kun, Pilipino din ako~ :D]

Anyways, Death_Bringer, those are really well-done. Although, as Bart had said, it needs a few capitalization and punctuation. Your choice of words fit nicely, and I <3 the emotion you put into it. Astig ka nga na poet~! <3

Okay~ish, on the next part of my post, I'm gonna be picky and stuff, just 'cause I'm bored. 'kay~? :3 Most of them would just be because typos, though. X3

In "I dont want to think about you";

but it is better for me
than to see you smiling at me
Methinks the 'it' should be there, or another word.
you cant bring me down
or just shut me up

i just dont want to think about you
You missed the N for down. And you forgot the W in want.
thatn being a somebody with you
Typo~

Okay, next poem! "So Afraid"
i dont want to get hurt again
i dont want to feel the same way
i had before
im just so scared

The part with 'i had before' sounds a bit off. I think it would've been better if you combined it with the second line. Don't listen to my advice, though. I pretty sure it ish wrong. X3
i might loose so much feelings inside
im so afraid...
I think the word should be 'lose', rather than 'loose'.
i dont want you to leave
Typo~~
Next, "Myself"
i find myself one day
trying to find who i am
i can see my shadow
disappearing behind the mists
I think it sounds better if 'find' ish changed to 'found' and that the 'disappear' sounds better with the -ing. X3
they took my care for granted
and never gave me respect nor freedom
they continued to consume me
untill im almost gone
'and never gave', methinks, would sound better as 'never giving '. Continue sounds better in past tense, and 'until' ish spelled wrong. 'I'm', I think, would be better as 'I was'.

o.o; Erm, sorry for that. Me was just bored. X3
I'll stop now, too, because I'm pretty sure that I have no idea what I was talking about.

phantom_zangetsu
November 26th, 2005, 07:37 PM
well, i really apreciate the lecture, marina...i like your pickyness-ish lol...
thankies all for the comments.....