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oni flygon
November 21st, 2005, 10:23 PM
I notice that there are too many sad poems here in Other Writing, Poetry forum. Come on, people! Cheer up!

Here's a poem for you guys!

Eien~
by Niko

Through the spiral staircase we ascend,
And holding hands as we would play pretend
We would reach the top tower and watch twilight
And see the sun shine red with blinding light!

And we descend and run across borderland,
Run like the wind and hold tight my hand!
Forever never meant ever forsaking
The beauty I have found during spring.

And my love, like fireworks in the night
Will shoot up, explode and give light
To the darkest corners of my heart
For eternity can never make us part.

And let us leave this world of fake:
To above where no one can ache.
And together, we shall be one forever,
And together we kiss in this eternal bliss!

Cybex Mewtwo
November 22nd, 2005, 07:08 AM
Very nice work here. I enjoyed reading this.

oni flygon
November 22nd, 2005, 10:42 PM
Why thank you for commenting. My friend and I have decided to make a song out of this, him being the bassist and me the guitarist and all.

But yeah... I don't know if anyone found any musical allusions in the poem. Woudl be happy if someone found out... ;D

digi-kun
November 23rd, 2005, 05:03 PM
eien means eternity or forever right? ah meh

and assuming you wanted to rhyme everything
forsaking — spring
rhyme's on Aking, but meh it still sounds good with this

as for a song...meh may work, but i'm not that good musically anyways XD

oni flygon
November 23rd, 2005, 05:04 PM
They're slant rhymes, Digi.. XD

I'm amazed you didn't criticize the rhythm like always... >>