The six friends in a quest to find a new home

[Sasuke_Uchiha]

Chapter one:The Wierd Beggining

In a long time the planet Doom had six landscapes.The six landscapes had there own names and were not together althought there was an island that is between those six landscapes.The landscapes were named Lavagra,Bagra,Lagra,***ra,Chagra,and Kagra.In each of those landscapes lived six specail children.There names were ELEMENT MASTER,action gamer,MysticTrunks,Shampoo,ybur_angel,and Blakie.ELEMENT MASTER lived on Lavagra,action gamer lived on Bagra,MysticTruncks lived on Lagra,Shampoo lived on ***ra,ybur_angel lived on Chagra,Blakie lived on Kagra,those places were pieceful until a tornado came and destroy the six landscapes.None of those specail children knew what happen.Those specail children got suck in the tornado.When the distruction had finished the children were on the island that was between the six landscapes but now there is only one island and the last one to live on."Who are you" they said."Wait my name is ELEMENTMASTER nice to meet you" said ELEMENT MASTER."Hi I am action gamer,I am MysticTuncks,I am Shampoo,I am ybur_angel,I am Blakie"they said taking turns."Where are we" ask Blakie."I think we are on the middle island"said Shapoo."Roar"said a wierd sound."What was that?"they said.I think I think......................"said ybur_angel."Roar"said the strange sound.

To be continued

[Himawarii]

Intersting,I'm in a story 8DDD But the only advice I must give you is to put some more detail into your writing.Make it capture your reader's attention.And most of all,the names ust be spelled correctly ^__^;; But besides that,it's good,with me :33( Sorry,if I sound like an English teacher.__.)

[Karasuma]

Hey element master you made the story....Well lets see, the story is getting interesting, but what I would've really liked is that if you concentrated the story in the magical places we were before it got destroyed. By that we could've understood the characters better. But hey its getting good so I'm with you 100% on this story. Good luck on this.

[Ibuberu]

Can't believe I'm in a story...o.O

Anyway,a great start.Though I agree with Shampoo,try to use more descriptions!^^
And,maybe,not to strain our eyes,you could divide the whole story into paragraphs and all that!These are just suggestions,mind you,you needn't follow if you don't feel like it!XD
Still,I think this is going to be an interesting story,can't wait for the next chapter!^^

[Sasuke_Uchiha]

Hey element master you made the story....Well lets see, the story is getting interesting, but what I would've really liked is that if you concentrated the story in the magical places we were before it got destroyed. By that we could've understood the characters better. But hey its getting good so I'm with you 100% on this story. Good luck on this.
Thanks MysticTruncks