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oni flygon
December 6th, 2005, 07:12 PM
Just a poem I wrote while I was in my isolated patches of creativity while being bored. So yeah. I would like some constructive criticism on this, and some comments would make me happy. Oh and yes, I forgot to tell: whenever I write poetry, there's a song behind it that inspired me to write it. Usually, it has the same beat to it when spoken loudly. This one's inspired from Bob Dylan's "I Want You".

A Dime For Love

Once upon this endless time
In a kingdom full of rhyme
Sat an empress on her throne
In the golden palace of her own

And people outside shivered in cold
As this story is being told
Cause for love they were charged a dime
And everything seems to be a crime

But I know a certain Beauty
Who would smile at me so sweetly,
And at night, I always held her hand
To watch the stars, lying in the sand.

We thought that we were together forever
But sadly that was turned to a never
When I saw the guards take her away
Because that dime, I forgot to pay.

I protested against that empress
But all my words didnt seem to impress
So she told the guards to throw me outside
And my presence in the kingdom, denied.

And so I wandered on a desert plane
Even though everything was in vain
Like a lonesome organ grinder,
I was always that guilty reminder.

So now I dont know what to do
I didnt even say my adieu
To my love, whom I miss so much
Your beauty, I long to touch

But I know our spirits are one
Our love shining brightly like the sun
Tis then will I remember that face
While I stare into empty space

My love is still here and
Everyone still knows that
Ive been always waiting

Envy
December 8th, 2005, 07:33 AM
This is a very deep and sad poem but it's still very good.*Claps*