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View Full Version : High school : My worst Dreams came true(Rated R: Nudity, touching, and Mild kissing )


Demon_Slayer
January 6th, 2006, 04:05 PM
Profiles:

Name:Jeremiah (main character)
Description : http://advancedanime.com/displayimage.php?pid=101538
Status: Healthy
Eye color: (the above pic doesnt have the right eye color) Blue
Religion: Christian
Love status: In love with Terra when they meet
Fave color: Blue


Name: Terra (main female character)
Descritption : http://advancedanime.com/displayimage.php?pid=101626
status: Healthy
Eye color: Brown (like picture)
Religion: Christian
Love status: In love with Jeremiah
Fave color: Black
Warning: story has been redone...previous story form (below until I reposted it) has touching, and nudity (some parts) Warning
Chapter 1: First day of school

I walked into the school after my mom dropped me off. The school seemed silent, but I saw some guys walking up to the principal's office. I walked in along with them without being noticed."so peeking on the girls while they weretaking a shower again were you?" The principal said to the five 12th grade boys. I sat down in a chair looking at them while they spoke. "yes sorry" they all said. The boys were brown headed and had blue eyes....like me, instead my blue eyes were different to everybody else, including me. "boys this is your last day of school behave" said the principal, who looked like she was very mad. They walked out of the office not looking so tall and brave.I walked over to the principal who looked rather angry. "Hi I am Jeremiah, your new student" I said. "oh hello darling welcome to God's valley high school." the principal said.

"Umm...Those are the only guys that went here, at least for a while, they are leaving and graduating today" She said."so everyone here except me are girls?" I said. "yes three hundred girls they wont bite" She said grabbing a pen out of her pen holder. "now you just have to sign here and here on this paper" She said handing me the pen. I printed my name onto th open lines. "have a good time here....." she said sitting down in her leather chair.I walked out of the office with a high school map in my hands.

A girl walked up to me. "hi I'm Nyame who are you" she said, while I stared. "uh....uh....oh right Jeremiah" I said, stumbling in my words." nice to meet you Jeremiah.." she said and Kissed me.. "aahh! what was that about !?!?!" I yelped."oh sorry it begins to be a habit after awhile" she said and started kissing me again. "uh right look at the time I gotta go and meet my teachers bye!" I said and ran down the hall. "what was with her? " I said as I walked around the corner. When I got inside one of my teacher's class room, the girls watched me. "hey my name is Jeremiah" I said to the teacher. "hello Jeremiah welcome to algebra."

"I aint so good at algebra....." I whispered into the teacher's ear. "its ok you'll learn" she said. I walked out of the class room and down thehall to the sex education class room. it was closer than the other class room so I walked in. "hello who are you?" said the teacher. "I am Jeremiah ummm I am new here" I said. "good. well.....GOOD BYE!" she said and slammed the door in my face. "jeeze she is really nice" I said sarcastically. I walked over to the Geography room. a sign was on the doorknob." do not disturb" it said on the board. I walked away and down the hall to another class room I walked in."hi" said the teacher, who walked up to me. "this is spanish......and you will be here on tuesdays and thursdays. oh and I am Mrs. Cortez" she said. "ok I am Jeremiah" I said walking out the door and down the hall to my last class. I walked down the steps where the teacher was. "Hi, I am new here." I said to the teacher. "good. listen I dont have the time, this is english and congrats you will be here on mondays and fridays....ooh look at the time gotta go." she said and ran up the stairs. Before I could say my name she was already out the door.

I walked out and into the basket ball court where my grade was. "oh new kid right? sit over here with the 9th graders" The lady with red hair said. I wasnt able to get her name, but she looked like Maria type girl, I sat down by a girl with long brown hair."Hi I am Natsume" the girl said and smiled. "I am Jeremiah" I said smiling at her, I couldnt stop staring her beauty was over powering." we are about to go back to class now, but new students usually have to stay behind and take some fitness tests" Natsume said. Natsume and everybody else walked back to class. leaving me behind. "ok ready to take your fitness test Jeremiah? well you have to climb to the top of this rope." the fitness teacher said, as I started to climb the rope.


After my fitness test was over, I passed and went back to class.

Fateful
January 6th, 2006, 04:28 PM
It's interesting. Good and interesting GGC.

Demon_Slayer
January 6th, 2006, 04:34 PM
thanks PC WIFE ^^ more chapters to come after I finish the second chapter, which is really short

Cloud_boy
January 6th, 2006, 04:39 PM
That was OK, some parts were sort of cunfusing, but it was good.
BTW, i wish I was that guy!

Demon_Slayer
January 6th, 2006, 04:40 PM
thanks in a bit you might wish that again......I am almost done with the 2nd chapter, then I will post that and then the 3rd chapter....which is well intense

here are the chapters:

CHapter 2: shower trouble

after Class was over, I walked to the school pool and put on my swim suit and started swimming laps, for some reason I felt like I was being watched. the Classes were boring as always, My parents would think I was crazy if they saw me swimming during winter, but the pool wasnt cold, and it had heaters in it.....I got out all refreshed and walked into the shower and got undressed.I was taking my shower with the door closed, so I actually had some privacy, I was the only guy there, but I still felt like I was being watched.

I got done with my shower, and wrapped a towel around me, I saw a few girls watching me I got angry and yelled at them. I got dressed, I walked out all jolly and happy, and walked into the lunch room where I ate lunch with the rest of my school. I took out a apple and chomped down on it taking a little bite at a time....then I finished drinking my low fat milk and tossed my bag and tossed my empty milk bottle. I went back and play some basket ball, and got all sweaty.

"well time to take another shower" I said to myself. I walked in took off my clothes, and turned on the water. I got that feeling again... but I ignored it and kept my back to the door. "let me see" a girl whispered. I heard the whispering and turned off the shower when I was done. I walked over to the door, with only a towel wrapped around me, I opened the door, and in fell three girls. "sorry wrong room" the girls said and ran out the gym door.

"girls sometimes they can be so,so.....whats the word?" I asked myself walking back into the shower room. I got dressed and buttoned my shirt. I left after school was over, I went by my house, really quick and grabbed my snow boarding gear. a new layer of snow was on the ground so I was going to go snow boarding on mt.sydney. I did a couple of flips while I snow boarded,and went home.

I woke up the next morning and went to school but I went around the back way so I could play basket ball when I got there.

Chapter 3: School day blues

I walked into the basket ball court. I pulled out my special ball and started shooting hoops when, Nyame walked into the Basketball court. I was about to make a score but she grabbed me from behind, I turned and right then,she kissed me. I fell back onto the hard floor below me.....my bottom was already hurting."what was that about?" I asked.her blonde hair drooped over me as she started to kiss me more without my permission. "umm umm" I mutterred. "your mine" she exclaimed. "err oh look at the time! It's time for me to go swim a couple of laps in the pool" I said."nuh uh your mine and your staying right here" she said pulling me closer to her. I thought of a solution of getting her off me, I looked down seeing her over sized boobs. I grinned . "hey look a mouse!" I yelled. she screamed and ran out the door. I laughed "a girl with those sized boobs must be scared of rats" I said. "ahh now thats better" I said laughing. I pulled myself to my feet. "well this school of girls is going to learn That I aint their play toy" I said."time for a plan" I said pulling off my shirt. "now this should work" I said as I showed off my abs. "now to attract them" I said walking into the gym. I started lifting weights, and a noise came from the basketball court and sounds of running could be heard. I looked over at the door where I could see faces of three girls. "my plan is working" I said. I walked out of the gym and slowly walked into the middle of the crowd. "hey " I said as the 300 girls turned to face me. "only one can have me" I said.The girls spread themselves into one big circle around me. I turned as I looked at each girl remembering how they all treated me. "you" I said pointing at natsume. she walked forward to me. She was the hottest and sexiest not to mention the sweetest girl of them all. "I choose natsume" I said smiling. I kissed her and all the girls turned and walked out the door with their faces down."thats over with" I said. I held her close to me until there were no girls around only me and her.

"now we are alone" I said still kissing her. "yes finally" she said. I walked out the door holding her hand, the line of 300 girls seperated and went onto their busy lives. "now they can all focus on work...and I can focus on you" I said and kissed her. she smiled at me and went into class with me. "man this bites" said a girl behind me and natsume. my spiked blonde hair swayed as the breeze blew in, the window was open, and natsume looked cold. I handed her my leather jacket."now you wont be so cold baby" I said as she put my 200 dollar leather jacket on. she looked really cute in it, and all the girls sighed as she saw me kiss her again."can you stop smooching already?" asked Nyame who had her boobs on the desk,"why dont you try putting them away" I said as she grinned. "I aint they're to big" she said. "well I guess you should use them as a table top" I said while laughing. "nyame he is right you look like a high class hooker" said the student in front of me."my girlfriend's boobs are perfect and well she is perfect eh thats why I love her because she is perfect" I said."at least she doesnt look like she had plastic surgery three hundred times" I said laughing. "yeah Nyame shut your oversized yap" the student infront of me said. "no you shut yours and you to pervert" said Nyame with a angry face."I am not a pervert" I said. "your the perverted one you have boobs the size of texas" I said."they arent that big" Nyame said as her boobs jiggled like jello. "jeeze woman what are you a cow?" I said.

"no" Nyame said. Her boobs her hanging of the other side of the table. and my girlfriend's boobs were actually on her chest."jeeze" I said looking at her boobs hang over the edge."this is outrageous" I said looking at nyame. Natsume looked at me. "dont pick on nyame because she has oversized boobs" Natsume said putting her hand on my shoulder. "well she kissed me without permission." I said as Natsume held my hand in secracy. "baby I know she has big boobs, she always has try umm laying off the subject for a bit." Natsume whispered into my ear. "ok baby you are still perfect to me, everything about you is perfect" I whispered into her ear as I rubbed her shoulder."I know but at this rate you might end up starting a fight" natsume said. "try not to talk about boobs, dont forget that you are in a school of girls" natsume."so I know you think my boobs are like....cute and perfect sized but try not to say it I mean the girls will think your a pervert." Natsume whispered into my ear as the teacher walked in. "baby I dont want to sound like a perv I mean I am a christian...I just think you are perfect" I whispered back taking out my geography book. "ok good. just dont say anything perverted like" natsume whispered into my ear taking out her book as well.

"ok stop the whispering you two and Jeremiah I am glad you found the right girl because none ofthe girls were paying attention. and Nyame stop trying to impress Jeremiah put your boobs away and next time you dont listen I will suspend you for a week" the teacher said. Nyame put her boobs away as I glared at her with an angry face. "you mean she could have done that the whole time" I said to the teacher. "yes Jeremiah she does that to attract guys." the teacher said slamming her ruler on her desk. "I will not have that anymore Nyame..." she yelled eagerly looking at me with a smile on her face. "sorry Nyame uses all the wrong techniques to attract men....she thinks her looks are everything. " the teacher said with a high voice.

Me and Natsume walked out of class an hour later, to go to our next class....Algebra...I was the worst at algebra but with Natsume, I couldnt fail...Nyame Ran across to the algebra classroom with her boobs bobbing up and down. I Got mad as her large oversized boobs jumped around like magic beans. "Dont pay attention Jeremiah" Natsume said. "and try not to look at her boobs...I mean you could hurt your eyes" Natsume said. Natsume huggled me from behind for some reason it kinda felt weird because her boobs were rubbing against me. "umm Natsume the teacher..." I said as the algebra teach walked in beside us. She let go of me and sat down beside me. "all right class take out your books....and Nyame...keep your boobs to yourself this time" the teacher said. I laughed, as Nyame sat down. she had a little trouble because her boobs were hanging straight down....and her nipples were almost showing. "umm wow" I said nearly puking on nyame. "dont bother Jeremiah" Nyame said as her nipples showed a little when she sat down in her chair. "umm teach her nipples are showing." I said, and Nyame pulled her bra up. "maybe you should get a bigger size bra" I said. The class laughed. "they dont make bras bigger than this" Nyame said. "uh Nyame put on a thicker shirt then!" I yelled becoming angry. The teacher was inraged to see her nipples show. "YOUR SUSPENDED!" the te
acher yelled at the pitiful showing of nipples. "FINE!" Nyame yelled getting up and showing her nipples again. this time on purpous. she literally through her shirt at the teacher and stomped out the door. I laughed as she stomped out half nude. she reached her locker, and put on a new shirt. I sat in my chair wondering what had just happened.

"Are you ok?" Natsume asked. I turned my head "the....the...those.....were huge...really really huge.....she.....was....like......I mean her boobs looked like the hulk......they were huge!" I said."you arent in shock are you?" Natsume said. "....hu....huu.....huge.......huge.....They were huge......her nipples....are as big as my pinkie.....huge.." I said...stumbling in my words "he's in shock!" Natsume said in a high voice. She tried shaking me."I hate when this happens" Natsume said. "that lame hooker" A student said as she slapped me. "OWWWW! that hurt" I said as I returned to my normal self. "your awake finally" Natsume said. "yeah eh what just happened?" I asked as I looked at the teacher as she put the shirt in the garbage can by her desk.

After that was all over, we went to my least favorite class....sex education class.I slowly walked into the door. "Ahh yes Jeremiah you got yourself a girlfriend...I see well bring her up here in front of the class."the teacher said. "ok" I said as we reached the front of the class."now take off her bra" the teacher said pushing her glasses back onto her nose." excuse me?" I asked with a strange look on my face. "take the bra off" the teacher exclaimed. I did as told and put my back torwards the drawing board and her back torwards the class. I pulled off her shirt with a queezy look on my face."I dont like this!" I whispered into Natsume's ear. "I know but it's for good grades." she said. "err this is almighty confusing I mean they are making us take off our clothes..." I said to natsume as I unclipped her bra. "mine not our's" Natsume said. I covered her up with my jacket to hide her half naked body from the class. "now touch them" The teacher said. "I am with my jacket and that's as far as I want to go." I said. "alrighty then anyone want to volunteer?" the teacher said. "no! I'll do it" I said looking really queezy by now.

"wait why are you telling us to touch each other like that!?!?!" I said with a really high voice. "Because this is sex education class. now do what I say" the teacher said slamming her ruler on the desk. "Why do you want us to do this I mean me touching her boobs has nothing to do with sex education" I yelled at the teacher. "hmmm maybe to teach how to be gentle and how not to do it wrong! now touch them!!" The teacher yelled back at me nearly smacking me with the ruler. "FINE!" I yelled and put my hands on Nastume's boobs. I covered her nipples. then I thought "why is this happening? why is this teacher encouraging to have sex before you are married?" the weird feeling of anxiety came over me I was mad, Furious at the teacher, I wanted to smack her for making me do this . "now students note how he is softly holding her boobs, a man shouldnt forcefully touch her really hard because if he does it could cause her boobs to stop producing milk when she is pregnant." The teacher said. "now also note That Jeremiah doesnt like it, because he is being forced to do it, if he were to do it without being pressured he would be more relaxed." the teacher said . "you can let go of her boobs now" the teacher said. I softly removed my hands and put her bra and shirt back on her. I gave the teacher a sour look as though I wanted to punch her in the face.

"sex education class is now over students please walk slowly out the door in a orderly fashion." said the Teacher. I looked back at the teacher giving her another sour look. "I'm sorry Natsume for holding your boobs" I said ."its alright, you were forced to and besides its time to go home. want me to come over to your house?" Asked Natsume."Yeah " I said kissing her outside the door."that felt....Strange" I said. We walked out of the school as the crowd of girls all ran to their cars.My mom drove up and gave me and Natsume a lift to my house.

Fateful
January 6th, 2006, 04:47 PM
Ummm don't double post GGC. You could of edited.

Demon_Slayer
January 6th, 2006, 04:49 PM
err sorry right I will copy edit, paste and delete sorry ^^

another chapter ooh the suspense ^^!

Chapter 4: The Cheater

I was walking away from Natsume's house after dropping her off, but I saw a girl go into her house, I took cover in some bushes and watched them through the kitchen window. They french kissed, and the other girl started to take off Natsume's clothes, I puked in the bushes. I walked away before I saw anymore, she was a lesbian, and she was cheating on me.I sat on my porch dizzy, Trying to figure out what happened, I started to cry, but it was to late she was a lesbian. she had french kissed another girl..... I was sick to my stomach.

I walked back, to Natsume's house, to tell her we were breaking up, but I saw them, naked and kissing the other girl had her hands on Natsume's boobs....I knocked on the door....as I started to feel more dizzy. She answered the door. "we are over" I said as a tear dropped from my eye. "why" she asked. "because you were.....you were....making love to the other girl.....while nude." I replied, feeling upset.

"I am sorry....but I love her" she said to me and closed the door, the faint sound of kissing could be heard as I walked away.
I was sick to my stomach, from seeing them kiss like that, I walked home and collapsed on my Bed. The next morning came and I went to school, now a single man, I saw a new girl in the office, she looked really cute, I walked in. "Hi I am Jeremiah" I said to the girl. "Hello Jeremiah, I am Terra, I am new here"she said and smiled. "do you believe in God?" I asked hoping she would say yes.

I already had a crush on her, she was beautiful. "yes I am a christian" she said. "cool I will show you around" I said grabbing her hand softly and leading her out the principal's office, I showed her the classes, and she met the teachers. After we were done re-meeting everyone, I kissed her, and she kissed me back, I backed up against the wall and continued kissing her. "your cheating on Natsume!" said Nyame, who just got back from being suspended. "Am not I Broke up with her" I said. "did not I know you are just french kissing that girl on purpous." she said. "your right...I am french kissing her on purpous, but your also wrong.....I broke up with Natsume because she was gay" I said and continued kissing Terra.

After I got done french kissing her, I walked into my first class....Sex Education class......I walked in and Nyame already spilled the beans. "so, Isee you got a new girlfriend....what a shame" the teacher said. "A shame? your a shame" I yelled. The teacher stomped up the steps and smacked me really hard with the ruler...I fell back hurting my bottom again. "now I want you to do another demonstration" she said. "if you dont do it, I will smack you again." she said. I walked down the steps with terra to the front of the class, there was a red mark from where the ruler hit me. Blood came from the red wound. "are you ok Jeremiah?" Terra asked. "yes...it just hurts alot" I said. "you have to touch her down there" the Teacher said. "you hate me dont you? you bitc* ! I wont touch her down there..." I yelled, the teacher walked over to me again, she swacked me really really hard this time.

Blood dripped from the other side of my face. "dont deny me you pig! do as I say" she said to me... the bitc* only wanted me to do it for her own pleasure."fine" I said, and got up. my face was in alot of pain, numbness was already starting to kick in. I pulled Terra's panties down, so much pain, I couldnt tell what I was doing, I put my fingers down there softly. Terra moaned. "I am sorry Terra" I said as blood dripped from my face. I was leaning on Terra. "notice Jeremiah is doing it softly, to make sure he isnt hurting her" the teacher said. The class, watched my face drip blood, they grew angry at the teacher. I pulled my fingers away, slowly and softly so I didnt hurt her. I looked at the teacher,and smacked her. "you bitc*!" I yelled. I helped Terra get dressed.

I went to the nurse's office and went home with Terra Afterwards.

Xx_whiterose_xX
January 6th, 2006, 06:30 PM
Wow this is really good. and i mean it.

Demon_Slayer
January 6th, 2006, 07:11 PM
thank you white rose.....more to come

here is chapter 5, it maybe short but eh, I will try to make the next chapter 6 longer:

Chapter 5: True Love

Terra sat next to me in my room, we started kissing again, and my cheeks werent hurting anymore."want to go out to eat?"I asked. "yes" she said and we grabbed our coats. We went out to eat, at the most expensive restraunt in california it was called Calibur's it has the best chinese food in the USA. I ordered thier famous Kung pow Rice, with some noodles. And Terra ordered the same thing, we Talked laughed a little bit, and of course we kissed, The whole dinner costed 100 dollars, and that was only a dinner for two, but I didnt mind I loved Terra. Afterwards, we stopped by the movies and saw Dreamer.

When we got home, it was 12:00 a.m. but we tip toed up stairs and layed down on my bed, she fell asleep with her arm around me, and I fell asleep with my arm around her. I woke up Saturday morning with Terra sleeping next to me, she looked so beautiful in the morning sun, I loved her so much. We were in love and I didnt want anything to happen to us I held her closer to me, and my mom walked through the door. my back was turned towards her and Terra's back was against my front side. so I acted like I was asleep, we had all of our clothes one so she couldnt think anything.

All my mom could whisper out was "aww" because we looked so cute together, I held her close to me as my mom left the room. I got up and walked downstairs without waking her up, and I made her breakfast, a Vegetarian Omelate with orange juice. I put it on a tray and slowly walked it up to Terra. "morning sweetie I got some breakfast for you" I said. "mm morning did you make that for me?" she asked, "yes" I replied and kissed her. I sat beside her as she ate breakfast, and I ate my breakfast ramen.

"did you like it?" I asked Terra, "mmmm yes I loved it" She said and kissed me. I walked the dishes down to the kitchen and washed them. "Jeremiah why is there a girl in your bed?" My Father asked. "because err.....I camehome late with her and she fell asleep with me" I said and ran up the stairs. "hmmm did he have ---" he said but was interupted by my mom. "of course no they were fully dressed when I was up there. " my mom replied....

I sat next to Terra, and just stared at her and admired her beauty. Then I just started kissing her while we sat there. "what are you two doing?" My Dad asked. "err kissing, making love, but err Dad we were just french kissing" I said trying to find the right words. "did you?" My Dad asked. "no dad I did not have sex with her, jeeze" I said and closed the door. "jeeze my dad is so protective" I said and continued kissing Terra.

"Let's go snow boarding" I said.

Fateful
January 6th, 2006, 08:45 PM
It's really really good GGC.

Demon_Slayer
January 6th, 2006, 08:47 PM
thank you *hugs Mariajet* your so sweet..... I'll try to make the 6th chapter longer...

the 6th chapter:

Chapter 6: Cant resist the love

I drove by the Snow board shop, that my dad owned and bought some equipment for Terra. "well I think we got everything....lets go snow boarding" I said and ran out the door, Terra got into the car with me, and we drove off, to Mt.Sydney,
Terra looked kinda cute in her gear, so I decided to give her a nice big kiss right before we started snow boarding. "last one down with the least amount of tricks has to pay for dinner" I yelled as I started down the mountain. I knew Terra was a bit slower, but she had some tricks up her sleeve, some I knew, some I didnt.

I dodged rocks as I came to the high jump, one that I knew Terra would get hurt on I jumped, back flipped, and landed on the snow nearly 100 feet below me, Terra came down. I caught her just in the nick of time and kissed her. I continued snow boarding with her, trying not to hit any rocks, I was trying to be a champ, and lose at the end. I didnt want her to pay for the dinner, besides I had an idea. "snow boarding is my favorite" I yelled trying to get her to hear what I was saying. "mine to" she yelled back. "it takes my mind off things that trouble me" I yelled to Terra.

I lost, of course, just like I wanted to, new snow started to fall, and it got all of Terra's hair. It would melt of course, because thats all snow does when it isnt lumped with more snow, but today Terra seemed more lovely than all the days before, my mind was finally of my school. I was happy, everything about that school bothers me, but it is like it has already became apart of me, I loved Terra, more than she knew, smiling when she smiled, crying when she cried, holding her when she was sad, and trying to keep her from being mad. she was my love, and I wanted to give her something, more than dinner, more than a movie more than a french kiss, I wanted to give her something that was very special.

All I could do was smile at her, her beauty, her shyness, her lovelyness, her love, and her care, if someone told me to break her heart I wouldnt dare, I loved her, and didnt want to let her go. she was mine, I was hers, Our love was strong, and our hearts were true to each other, our souls loved one another. Sometimes I felt like grabbing her and just not letting her go, keeping her to myself, so no one would know,our love was strong, like a ox, but we couldnt leave each other's sight, because we loved each other, if someone tried to take her from me, they would have to fight. Because me and her were right, we couldnt stop from loving each other so dearly, it was impossible not to love her. all of my wants, and all of my doubts, were locked away no doubt.

I wanted her I needed her, I couldnt let her out of my sight, I loved her, I couldnt let her go. I wanted to hold her tight, with all my might. My love was so strong for her, I just couldnt let her go, she was mine, it was like our love was different from all the others, I wanted her, I wanted her so badly, it was like my concious was holding me back if it wasnt she might not be mine anymore, but I stopped trying to fight, she was mine, this is what true love feels like. I wanted her so badly, but all I could do was kiss her, and that was it, I knew what I wanted, and it was A sex free relationship with the woman I loved, holding back the things that I knew were bad. it was like it was fighting my concious, but it wasnt winning.

I loved her but I didnt want to hurt her anymore, I loved her, and I was going to keep it simple.We drove down to the movies, but I didnt pay attention to the film I had my mind and eyes on her, it was like I was addicted to her, I couldnt stop loving her, every thing about her was so perfect. I just wanted to fall asleep with her, in my arms, not letting her go, I didnt want to see her go, I wanted her, and we are together forever, so we loved each other, I loved her more, it was like I was in love with her so much I was in pain, but I loved her and I couldnt stop loving her.My doubts my fears, were locked away, I wanted to hold her forever, not letting her go no matter where we went. I wanted just to wrap my arms around her...I couldnt stop loving her....

Fateful
January 8th, 2006, 03:55 PM
Yet again another good chapter.

Demon_Slayer
January 8th, 2006, 03:55 PM
thank you I am still working on the 7th chapter

Fateful
January 24th, 2006, 05:00 PM
Let me know when you are done with it.

Demon_Slayer
January 24th, 2006, 05:05 PM
ok here I fixed it:

Chapter 1: First day of school

I walked into the school after my mom dropped me off. The school seemed silent, but I saw some guys walking up to the principal's office. I walked in along with them without being noticed."so peeking on the girls while they weretaking a shower again were you?" The principal said to the five 12th grade boys. I sat down in a chair looking at them while they spoke. "yes sorry" they all said. The boys were brown headed and had blue eyes....like me, instead my blue eyes were different to everybody else, including me. "boys this is your last day of school behave" said the principal, who looked like she was very mad. They walked out of the office not looking so tall and brave.I walked over to the principal who looked rather angry. "Hi I am Jeremiah, your new student" I said. "oh hello darling welcome to God's valley high school." the principal said.

"Umm...Those are the only guys that went here, at least for a while, they are leaving and graduating today" She said."so everyone here except me are girls?" I said. "yes three hundred girls they wont bite" She said grabbing a pen out of her pen holder. "now you just have to sign here and here on this paper" She said handing me the pen. I printed my name onto th open lines. "have a good time here....." she said sitting down in her leather chair.I walked out of the office with a high school map in my hands.

A girl walked up to me. "hi I'm Nyame who are you" she said, while I stared. "uh....uh....oh right Jeremiah" I said, stumbling in my words." nice to meet you Jeremiah.." she said and Kissed me.. "aahh! what was that about !?!?!" I yelped."oh sorry it begins to be a habit after awhile" she said and started kissing me again. "uh right look at the time I gotta go and meet my teachers bye!" I said and ran down the hall. "what was with her? " I said as I walked around the corner. When I got inside one of my teacher's class room, the girls watched me. "hey my name is Jeremiah" I said to the teacher. "hello Jeremiah welcome to algebra."

"I aint so good at algebra....." I whispered into the teacher's ear. "its ok you'll learn" she said. I walked out of the class room and down thehall to the sex education class room. it was closer than the other class room so I walked in. "hello who are you?" said the teacher. "I am Jeremiah ummm I am new here" I said. "good. well.....GOOD BYE!" she said and slammed the door in my face. "jeeze she is really nice" I said sarcastically. I walked over to the Geography room. a sign was on the doorknob." do not disturb" it said on the board. I walked away and down the hall to another class room I walked in."hi" said the teacher, who walked up to me. "this is spanish......and you will be here on tuesdays and thursdays. oh and I am Mrs. Cortez" she said. "ok I am Jeremiah" I said walking out the door and down the hall to my last class. I walked down the steps where the teacher was. "Hi, I am new here." I said to the teacher. "good. listen I dont have the time, this is english and congrats you will be here on mondays and fridays....ooh look at the time gotta go." she said and ran up the stairs. Before I could say my name she was already out the door.

I walked out and into the basket ball court where my grade was. "oh new kid right? sit over here with the 9th graders" The lady with red hair said. I wasnt able to get her name, but she looked like Maria type girl, I sat down by a girl with long brown hair."Hi I am Natsume" the girl said and smiled. "I am Jeremiah" I said smiling at her, I couldnt stop staring her beauty was over powering." we are about to go back to class now, but new students usually have to stay behind and take some fitness tests" Natsume said. Natsume and everybody else walked back to class. leaving me behind. "ok ready to take your fitness test Jeremiah? well you have to climb to the top of this rope." the fitness teacher said, as I started to climb the rope.


After my fitness test was over, I passed and went back to class.



CHapter 2: shower trouble

after Class was over, I walked to the school pool and put on my swim suit and started swimming laps, for some reason I felt like I was being watched. the Classes were boring as always, My parents would think I was crazy if they saw me swimming during winter, but the pool wasnt cold, and it had heaters in it.....I got out all refreshed and walked into the shower and got undressed.I was taking my shower with the door closed, so I actually had some privacy, I was the only guy there, but I still felt like I was being watched.

I got done with my shower, and wrapped a towel around me, I saw a few girls watching me I got angry and yelled at them. I got dressed, I walked out all jolly and happy, and walked into the lunch room where I ate lunch with the rest of my school. I took out a apple and chomped down on it taking a little bite at a time....then I finished drinking my low fat milk and tossed my bag and tossed my empty milk bottle. I went back and play some basket ball, and got all sweaty.

"well time to take another shower" I said to myself. I walked in took off my clothes, and turned on the water. I got that feeling again... but I ignored it and kept my back to the door. "let me see" a girl whispered. I heard the whispering and turned off the shower when I was done. I walked over to the door, with only a towel wrapped around me, I opened the door, and in fell three girls. "sorry wrong room" the girls said and ran out the gym door.

"girls sometimes they can be so,so.....whats the word?" I asked myself walking back into the shower room. I got dressed and buttoned my shirt. I left after school was over, I went by my house, really quick and grabbed my snow boarding gear. a new layer of snow was on the ground so I was going to go snow boarding on mt.sydney. I did a couple of flips while I snow boarded,and went home.

I woke up the next morning and went to school but I went around the back way so I could play basket ball when I got there.

Chapter 3: School day blues

I walked into the basket ball court. I pulled out my special ball and started shooting hoops when, Nyame walked into the Basketball court. I was about to make a score but she grabbed me from behind, I turned and right then,she kissed me. I fell back onto the hard floor below me.....my bottom was already hurting."what was that about?" I asked.her blonde hair drooped over me as she started to kiss me more without my permission. "umm umm" I mutterred. "your mine" she exclaimed. "err oh look at the time! It's time for me to go swim a couple of laps in the pool" I said."nuh uh your mine and your staying right here" she said pulling me closer to her. I thought of a solution of getting her off me, I looked down seeing her over sized boobs. I grinned . "hey look a mouse!" I yelled. she screamed and ran out the door. I laughed "a girl with those sized boobs must be scared of rats" I said. "ahh now thats better" I said laughing. I pulled myself to my feet. "well this school of girls is going to learn That I aint their play toy" I said."time for a plan" I said pulling off my shirt. "now this should work" I said as I showed off my abs. "now to attract them" I said walking into the gym. I started lifting weights, and a noise came from the basketball court and sounds of running could be heard. I looked over at the door where I could see faces of three girls. "my plan is working" I said. I walked out of the gym and slowly walked into the middle of the crowd. "hey " I said as the 300 girls turned to face me. "only one can have me" I said.The girls spread themselves into one big circle around me. I turned as I looked at each girl remembering how they all treated me. "you" I said pointing at natsume. she walked forward to me. She was the hottest and sexiest not to mention the sweetest girl of them all. "I choose natsume" I said smiling. I kissed her and all the girls turned and walked out the door with their faces down."thats over with" I said. I held her close to me until there were no girls around only me and her.

"now we are alone" I said still kissing her. "yes finally" she said. I walked out the door holding her hand, the line of 300 girls seperated and went onto their busy lives. "now they can all focus on work...and I can focus on you" I said and kissed her. she smiled at me and went into class with me. "man this bites" said a girl behind me and natsume. my spiked blonde hair swayed as the breeze blew in, the window was open, and natsume looked cold. I handed her my leather jacket."now you wont be so cold baby" I said as she put my 200 dollar leather jacket on. she looked really cute in it, and all the girls sighed as she saw me kiss her again."can you stop smooching already?" asked Nyame. "Nyame shut your oversized yap" the student infront of me said. "no you shut your's and you to pervert" said Nyame with a angry face."I am not a pervert" I said.

"no" Nyame said.Natsume looked at me. "dont pick on nyame" Natsume said putting her hand on my shoulder. "well she kissed me without permission." I said as Natsume held my hand in secracy. "baby try laying off the subject for a bit." Natsume whispered into my ear. "ok baby you are still perfect to me, everything about you is perfect" I whispered into her ear as I rubbed her shoulder."I know but at this rate you might end up starting a fight" natsume said. "dont forget that you are in a school of girls" natsume. "baby I dont want to sound like a perv I mean I am a christian...I just think you are perfect" I whispered back taking out my geography book. "ok good. just dont say anything perverted like" natsume whispered into my ear taking out her book as well.

Me and Natsume walked out of class an hour later, to go to our next class....Algebra...I was the worst at algebra but with Natsume, I couldnt fail...Nyame Ran across to the algebra classroom. Natsume huggled me from behind for some reason it kinda felt weird because her boobs were rubbing against me. "umm Natsume the teacher..." I said as the algebra teach walked in beside us. She let go of me and sat down beside me. "all right class take out your books....and Nyame...keep your boobs to yourself this time" the teacher said. I laughed, as Nyame sat down. "uh Nyame put on a thicker shirt" I yelled becoming angry. The teacher was inraged to see us argueing. "YOUR SUSPENDED!" the teacher yelled. "FINE!" Nyame yelled getting up. I laughed as she stomped out. she reached her locker, and put on a new shirt. I sat in my chair wondering what had just happened.

"he's in shock!" Natsume said in a high voice. She tried shaking me."I hate when this happens" Natsume said. "that lame--" A student said as she slapped me. "OWWWW! that hurt" I said as I returned to my normal self. "your awake finally" Natsume said. "yeah eh what just happened?" I asked as I looked at the teacher as she put the shirt in the garbage can by her desk.

After that was all over, we went to my least favorite class....sex education class.I slowly walked into the door. "Ahh yes Jeremiah you got yourself a girlfriend..." she said, looking curious, I have heard things about the teacher that were pretty bad. But I didnt think she would choose me to do her dirty work, I sat down with Nyame as the teacher talked about the human body. Nyame glared at a girl and smiled, looking like she had a crush on her, but I didnt notice. I was sitting down and paying attention. I looked at the board as the teacher explained some things about how our body works.

"sex education class is now over students please walk slowly out the door in a orderly fashion." said the Teacher. I looked back at the teacher giving her another sour look. "want me to come over to your house?" Asked Natsume."Yeah " I said kissing her outside the door. We walked out of the school as the crowd of girls all ran to their cars.My mom drove up and gave me and Natsume a lift to my house.


Chapter 4: The Cheater

I was walking away from Natsume's house after dropping her off, but I saw a girl go into her house, I took cover in some bushes and watched them through the kitchen window. They french kissed and I puked in the bushes. I walked away before I saw anymore, she was a lesbian, and she was cheating on me.I sat on my porch dizzy, Trying to figure out what happened, I started to cry, but it was to late she was a lesbian. she had french kissed another girl..... I was sick to my stomach.

I walked back, to Natsume's house, to tell her we were breaking up, but I saw them, they were kissing ...I knocked on the door....as I started to feel more dizzy. She answered the door. "we are over" I said as a tear dropped from my eye. "why" she asked. "because you were.....you were....making love to the other girl." I replied, feeling upset.

"I am sorry....but I love her" she said to me and closed the door, the faint sound of kissing could be heard as I walked away.
I was sick to my stomach, from seeing them kiss like that, I walked home and collapsed on my Bed. The next morning came and I went to school, now a single man, I saw a new girl in the office, she looked really cute, I walked in. "Hi I am Jeremiah" I said to the girl. "Hello Jeremiah, I am Terra, I am new here"she said and smiled. "do you believe in God?" I asked hoping she would say yes.

I already had a crush on her, she was beautiful. "yes I am a christian" she said. "cool I will show you around" I said grabbing her hand softly and leading her out the principal's office, I showed her the classes, and she met the teachers. After we were done re-meeting everyone, I kissed her, and she kissed me back, I backed up against the wall and continued kissing her. "your cheating on Natsume!" said Nyame, who just got back from being suspended. "Am not I Broke up with her" I said. "did not I know you are just french kissing that girl on purpous." she said. "your right...I am french kissing her on purpous, but your also wrong.....Ibroke up with Natsume because she was gay" I said and continued kissing Terra.

After I got done french kissing her, I walked into my first class....Sex Education class......I walked in and Nyame already spilled the beans. "so, I see you got a new girlfriend....what a shame" the teacher said. "A shame? your a shame" I yelled. The teacher stomped up the steps and smacked me really hard with the ruler...I fell back hurting my bottom again. "are you ok Jeremiah?" Terra asked. "yes...it just hurts alot" I said.

Blood dripped from the other side of my face. I looked at the teacher,and smacked her. "you bitc*!" I yelled.I stomped out of the class and went up to the nurses office, Terra wanted me to so that I can see if I was alright, the blood stopped and the numbness went away. Later on before school got out, I heard the teacher made someone touch Terra in a bad way, I Got mad, furious even, the teacher was on a thin line I wanted to smack that teacher hard But I figured it would be better if Terra got her revenge herself. I Hugged Terra when she walked up to me. "so what happened?" I asked. "I dont want to talk about it" She replied looking sad. A tear dropped from her face and I hugged her trying to make her feel better. I went home with terra Afterwards.



Chapter 5: True Love

Terra sat next to me in my room, we started kissing again, and my cheeks werent hurting anymore."want to go out to eat?"I asked. "yes" she said and we grabbed our coats. We went out to eat, at the most expensive restraunt in california it was called Calibur's it has the best chinese food in the USA. I ordered thier famous Kung pow Rice, with some noodles. And Terra ordered the same thing, we Talked laughed a little bit, and of course we kissed, The whole dinner costed 100 dollars, and that was only a dinner for two, but I didnt mind I loved Terra. Afterwards, we stopped by the movies and saw Dreamer.

When we got home, it was 12:00 a.m. but we tip toed up stairs and layed down on my bed, she fell asleep with her arm around me, and I fell asleep with my arm around her. I woke up Saturday morning with Terra sleeping next to me, she looked so beautiful in the morning sun, I loved her so much. We were in love and I didnt want anything to happen to us I held her closer to me, and my mom walked through the door. my back was turned towards her and Terra's back was against my front side. so I acted like I was asleep, we had all of our clothes one so she couldnt think anything.

All my mom could whisper out was "aww" because we looked so cute together, I held her close to me as my mom left the room. I got up and walked downstairs without waking her up, and I made her breakfast, a Vegetarian Omelate with orange juice. I put it on a tray and slowly walked it up to Terra. "morning sweetie I got some breakfast for you" I said. "mm morning did you make that for me?" she asked, "yes" I replied and kissed her. I sat beside her as she ate breakfast, and I ate my breakfast ramen.

"did you like it?" I asked Terra, "mmmm yes I loved it" She said and kissed me. I walked the dishes down to the kitchen and washed them. "Jeremiah why is there a girl in your bed?" My Father asked. "because err.....I camehome late with her and she fell asleep with me" I said and ran up the stairs. "hmmm did he have ---" he said but was interupted by my mom. "of course no they were fully dressed when I was up there. " my mom replied....

I sat next to Terra, and just stared at her and admired her beauty. Then I just started kissing her while we sat there. "what are you two doing?" My Dad asked. "err kissing, making love, but err Dad we were just french kissing" I said trying to find the right words. "did you?" My Dad asked. "no dad I did not have sex with her, jeeze" I said and closed the door. "jeeze my dad is so protective" I said and continued kissing Terra.

Let's go snow boarding I said.

Chapter 6: Cant resist the love

I drove by the Snow board shop, that my dad owned and bought some equipment for Terra. "well I think we got everything....lets go snow boarding" I said and ran out the door, Terra got into the car with me, and we drove off, to Mt.Sydney,
Terra looked kinda cute in her gear, so I decided to give her a nice big kiss right before we started snow boarding. "last one down with the least amount of tricks has to pay for dinner" I yelled as I started down the mountain. I knew Terra was a bit slower, but she had some tricks up her sleeve, some I knew, some I didnt.

I dodged rocks as I came to the high jump, one that I knew Terra would get hurt on I jumped, back flipped, and landed on the snow nearly 100 feet below me, Terra came down. I caught her just in the nick of time and kissed her. I continued snow boarding with her, trying not to hit any rocks, I was trying to be a champ, and lose at the end. I didnt want her to pay for the dinner, besides I had an idea. "snow boarding is my favorite" I yelled trying to get her to hear what I was saying. "mine to" she yelled back. "it takes my mind off things that trouble me" I yelled to Terra.

I lost, of course, just like I wanted to, new snow started to fall, and it got all of Terra's hair. It would melt of course, because thats all snow does when it isnt lumped with more snow, but today Terra seemed more lovely than all the days before, my mind was finally of my school. I was happy, everything about that school bothers me, but it is like it has already became apart of me, I loved Terra, more than she knew, smiling when she smiled, crying when she cried, holding her when she was sad, and trying to keep her from beng mad. she was my love, and I wanted to give her something, more than dinner, more than a movie more than a french kiss, I wanted to give her something that was very special.

All I could do was smile at her, her beauty, her shyness, her lovelyness, her love, and her care, if someone told me to break her heart I wouldnt dare, I loved her, and didnt want to let her go. she was mine, I was hers, Our love was strong, and our hearts were true to each other, our souls loved one another. Sometimes I felt like grabbing her and just not letting her go, keeping her to myself, so no one would know,our love was strong, like a ox, but we couldnt leave each other's sight, because we loved each other, if someone tried to take her from me, they would have to fight. Because me and her were right, we couldnt stop from loving each other so dearly, it was impossible not to love her. all of my wants, and all of my doubts, were locked away no doubt.

I wanted her I needed her, I couldnt let her out of my sight, I loved her, I couldnt let her go. I wanted to hold her tight, with all my might. My love was so strong for her, I just couldnt let her go, she was mine, it was like our love was different from all the others, I wanted her, I wanted her so badly, it was like my concious was holding me back if it wasnt she might not be mine anymore, but I stopped trying to fight, she was mine, this is what true love feels like. I wanted her so badly, but all I could do was kiss her, and that was it, I knew what I wanted, and it was A sex free relationship with the woman I loved, holding back the things that I knew were bad. it was like it was fighting my concious, but it wasnt winning.

I loved her but I didnt want to hurt her anymore, I loved her, and I was going to keep it simple.We drove down to the movies, but I didnt pay attention to the film I had my mind and eyes on her, it was like I was addicted to her, I couldnt stop loving her, every thing about her was so perfect. I just wanted to fall asleep with her, in my arms, not letting her go, I didnt want to see her go, I wanted her, and we are together forever, so loved each other, I loved her more, it was like I was in love with her so much I was in pain, but I loved her and I couldnt stop.


Chapter 7: High school Lie

after we went to the movies we drove down to Calibur's, and We ate, it all cost 100 dollars like last time. "dinner was great" Terra said, and started to kiss me. "lets wait till we get to my house" I said getting into the car with her. On our way home I kept looking at her, only every once and awhile, keeping my eyes on the road. "you know you arent supposed to drive until your 18" she said. "I know my dad taught me how to drive no biggy" I said seeing a couple of the girls from High school. "Hey wait" They said and I stopped the car. "why are you out when you can be at the school party" they said, I looked at them."there is a party!?!?! why werent me and Terra invited?" I asked, looking at the girls. "oh well...". Before they could finish saying it I interupted them . "want to go Terra?" I asked.

"yes" she said and we drove to the school, it was silent, and all the halls were dark. But a faint light could be seen coming from the lunch room, The light wasnt really bright due to the darkness. I held Terra's hand as I walked into the lunch room, there was nobody there, and when we walked in, the main doors closed, and made a locking noise."stay here" I said sitting Terra on a table I walked down the dark hall, I could barely see my own hands. I heard footsteps coming from the hall from my right side, I got out the matches from my pocket and lit one, the small flame made enough light so I could see a bit.

"welcome Jeremiah" the deep voice said. It sounded like nyame, but I ignored it and walked to the main doors. They were locked, it was only me and Terra we were tricked. I grabbed a flash light out of the supply closet, and turned it on I pointed it at the hall where the voice came from, and someone flashed infront of the light, it was a dark figure. I backed away and walked down the hall and went into the lunch room. Terra was still sitting on the table, "they tricked us" I said , a door closed off in the distance, and I could hear the faint noise of classical music. The music stopped , and more footsteps could be heard and doors closing and opening repeatedly could be heard. Terra held onto me, and the lunch room lights turned off. I turned on the flash light and put the light so that we could see within the 2 feet of the doors. "Terra stay here I will turn the lights back on." I said walking off into the darkness, I reached the lights and someone tackled me and I flew across the room landing on the floor where Terra could see me. "oh its on" I said stomping off into the darkness. Terra sat and listened to the punching noises and the tackling noises, she pointed the light on me and the attacker, I had the attacker on the floor. "get off of me" the attacker said but I pulled the attacked up to me and took off the mask. It was Nyame.

"what the hell were you doing bitc*? " I yelled nearly slapping her. She looked at me as I watched her every move, Blood dripped from my nose and cheeks.
Something was wrong, it wasnt nyame, it may of looked and sounded like her, but it wasnt, it was like a set up. I started to get up, and the flashlight batteries burned out I turned on the lunch room lights and she was gone, only me and Terra were there, I didnt hear any foot steps either just silence. I stood there, doubting that this was all real, I sat down with Terra, blood dripping to the floor, as I looked for any obvious solutions to what just happened. "I guess we are sleeping here tonight, but not in the lunch room." I said grabbing Terra's hand. "where are we going?" She asked holding onto my arm. "the principal's office she has a nice comfortable chair there" I said walking into the hall and turning on the lights. The Classical music started playing again, this time it sounded closer.

I walked into the office and layed on the chair putting my feet on the table. I turned on the lights and Terra Crawled up into my lap and rested her head on my chest. I kept my eyes on the doors as she rested her head on my chest. "please go to sleep now" she said. "I got to keep a look out" I said looking over to the door. My eyes closed, and I fell asleep, I woke up the next morning with her laying on me, I was hungry, very hungry. Terra looked up at me and smiled, I yawned Picking her up and laying her back in the chair. "do you want something to eat? " I asked. "yes" She replied. I walked out of the office and walked down the hall, nearly half of my shirt was unbuttoned, and the sides of the shirt just kinda swayed as I walked down to the lunch room. I walked in and buttoned up my shirt, as I walked over to the kitchen. My chest hurt a little because the buttons were like stuck to my chest from her sleeping on me, But it felt good for her to be so close to me, I walked into the kitchen and got some cooking ingredients and cooked up some pancakes and stumbled out the door with them in my hand. I set the plate on one of the tables as Terra walked in. "mmm smells good" she said and hugged me from behind.

I turned and we kissed I sat down on the table top and continued kissing. A noise interupted us. "darn it" I said. "whats wrong?" She asked. "It was getting good" I said walking over to the hallway to check what it was. All it was, was a broom stick that fell over I just shook my head and tapped her chest so she was sitting on the table and I continued kissing her. "alright ,alright lets eat now and continue later" she said winking at me. I sat down next to her and ate as I looked around the room for anything that might interupt us again. I saw a broom against the wall in the far corner and shrugged I walked over and sat it so itwas laying on the floor. "why did you do that?" she asked. "so that way next time we start kissing nothing will interupt us" I said and winked at her. I sat back down and finished eating."I am stuffed" I said. "me too" She replied handing me her plate. I walked into the kitchen and washed the dishes as we stared at each other, After I was done I walked out. I sat her on the table top and started kissing her, there was nothing interupting us, so it was just us kissing. "lets go for a swim" She said. "but we might get a..." before I was able to finish saying what I was about to say, she got up and walked out of the lunch room, I followed her down to the swimming pool. she walked in before me, and someone pushed her into the pool, I ran in and pulled her out of the pool her clothes were all wet, so she dried off her body and she put the towel around her. she sat on the bench while I looked for some clothes that she could wear. "bingo" I said. I found my hidden pair of pants. "sweet now all I need is panties" I said looking inside the girl's locker room. I walked in and looked in all of the lockers, I found a pair of clean panties and walked out to Terra. "here you go" I said giving her the clothes. "I need a shirt" She said as she was getting dressed in the girl's locker room.

I took off my shirt and handed it to her. "here" I said. I was happy that she was happy, she put on my shirt and walked out seeing me without any shirt. "that was so sweet of you" she said pushing me up against the wall and kissing me. We continued to kiss, we kept our minds of anything else. but something was bothering me. "who pushed you into the--?" before I could say anything she continued kissing me. " just keep your mind on me" she said. Me and her were now french kissing, and we didnt pay mind to anything, we just kept kissing. someone Ran out of the mens locker room and I tackled the person. "who are you?" I yelled taking of the mask that hid her face, it was nyame, She hit me and pushed me into the pool. Terra tried to stop her, but Nyame just ran out of the room, I got out of the pool and dried myself off. "dont worry I got extra pants and extra boxers." I said walking into the men's locker room. I took off my pants and boxers and gotout the extra pair, Terra stood in the door way so that if she were in trouble I could save her. I put on my boxers and pants and walked out of the locker room.

but Terra was wearing my last shirt so tonight it was going to hurt if she slept on me. I walked out of the room holding her hand. "you look sexy when your dont have your shirt on" she said and giggled. "you look sexy in my shirt" I said and smiled. "lunch room or office?" I asked as I kissed her. "office" She said and kissed me back. I walked with her hand in mine. "looks like I am sleeping without my shirt, tonight, kinda what I wanted but you have it on so....it doesnt make much of a difference" I said pushing her onto the soft leather chair. I continued kissing her. "why whats wrong?" she said kissing me back. "well it kind of hurts sleeping with that shirt on because of the buttons." I said and stared at her. "well I mean I can take it off tonight" she said. "umm no thats alright, I mean its only one more night" I said and started kissing her. she stoppped me when I was in the middle of french kissing her. "no tell me why you didnt want to sleep with the shirt on tonight. " she said. "well the buttons hurt" I said and triedto kiss her but she stopped me.

"then I will take it off" she said and stopped me from kissing her again. "but I dont think it would be right" I said and was stopped again." I dont care I want you to be happy" she said. "I shouldnt of said anything" I thought to myself. I continued to kiss her as I stood up, she got up along with me and held my hand. "lets go back to the swimming pool" I said and we walked out and down the hall. When we reached the pool room she made me go first. When we entered the room no one was there it was only us. "i'll get dressed" I said walking into the men's locker room. I took off my clothes and started to put on my trunks. I slightly turned my head to see terra watching me get dressed. I turned around after I put my trunks on. "why were you watching me get dressed?" I asked. "oh no reason" she said as she walked into the girl's locker room. Her clothes dropped to the floor as I stood out side door way. I heard her giggle, and I peeked to see what she was giggling about. "Hey!" she said in a high voice. "Why were you giggling?" I asked and she pushed me up against the wall.

She started to kiss me. "I dont know" she said jumping into the pool. she looked really good in her bikini, so I just I smiled and jumped in. "did you see anything?" I asked as I drifted in the water. "maybe" she said and winked. "what did you see?" I asked looking worried. "oh some stuff" She said and giggled. "you mean you saw my --" before I could say anymore she started kissing me. "did you see anything?" she asked and giggled. "yes" I said and continued kissing her. "what did you see?" she said and giggled. "oh just some stuff" I said. "did you see....my areas?" she asked and giggled. "yes but I wont tell anyone as long as you dont tell anyone what you saw " I said smiling. "ok its a deal" she said wrapping her arms around myneck softly and wrapping her legs around me.

We continued kissing in the pool for a while and started swimming, we were having so much fun, I was really in love with her. After we were done we got out of the pool, and walked into the seperate locker rooms, and took a shower. I scrubbed my body down really good with the soap and rinsed myself off. All I could say was "ahhh" . I got dressed and walked over to the girl's locker room thinking she was done, and she wasnt I turned around when I saw her in the shower and I sat down on the bench. She walked out with my shirt and her pants on.

Fateful
January 24th, 2006, 06:00 PM
Wow long and good I like it. You are really good GGC.

Demon_Slayer
January 26th, 2006, 02:08 PM
Thank you MariaJet...your so sweet..I am glad I PC married you..I will work more on it later..

Lady Akita
January 30th, 2006, 09:12 PM
Well, having a pretty strict teacher, I'm really not used to your writing style, which is completely different from the kind that I have been taught for almost a whole semester now. o.O;
One thing, tho, about the sex ed part. I've never heard anyone say it was supposed to actually work like that. But since it's fiction, understnadable. But it kinda got to me, in the beginning, when it was kida repetitive, having two chapters full of two seperate sex ed classes.
Other than that, I'll continue Maria's words. Great work. ^^ Your rating is a bit harsh, tho. I mean, nothing says that certain people just arn't allowed to read a fic if they choose to. We are friends now, but it did quite offend me when I read the first few chapters. *Gets a warning XD*

Demon_Slayer
January 30th, 2006, 10:19 PM
In what way Akita? and I am working on alot of fics right now..I just now started a brand new one...it is mixed up...but kinda better.

It is about one man, who falls in love with 3 different girls, it is kinda cute, and the ending is supposed to be cute, but thats nearly 20 chapters away. But if you dont like....umm..I dont know how to say it, but if you dont like stuff that includes 2 girls liking each other then you want like chapters 1 - 5. At first you think the girls are only best friends, but eh...they start to show they like each other, but they dont know it is wrong...anyways it has Hinata (girl in sig), Sakura (not sakura from Naruto...just a new girl), Terra, and a girl named Nessia... I may not post the story on here but then again I might, I'll just cut out the parts that are over board, and post the full story on a website I go to that allows the kinda stuff that is in it. But the story will be rated pg-15 (for suggestive themes and some other stuff).

Oh! Sakura is a cat girl, you wont know what she looks like until I can verify the picture I have with lightning or arcanine....I dont know if it counts as hentai..so I want to be on the safe side.... Anyways the story is cute, I liked the beginning unlike this story it gives out their descripts during the story.

Lady Akita
January 31st, 2006, 03:32 PM
No, no. The plot dosen't bug me. Just confusing, until you actually get it. It's about the..rating. ><;
Not encouraging any rule-breaking, but..

WARNING! Not ment for some members, There will be nudity, descriptions of Homosexuality (only maybe for a little bit at a time) and touching in some Private areas.......DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, or 13, you may only read this Fan fic of you are 13 + and up.....some situations may be too much for even 13 year olds........WARNING!

I mean, don't you think that's a bit offensive to some people who actually want to read your story and give it a compliment?

Lily
January 31st, 2006, 03:48 PM
Lady Akita- judging that offensive depends on the reader's maturity. I think Demon_Slayer was trying to enforce the viewer descretion, since some scenes are inappropriate for younger, less informed members.

The writing style is, needless to say, okay..You just need to work on revising it and it should be fine. I won't comment on anything else. XD

Burninating_Torchic
January 31st, 2006, 04:07 PM
Uh...
wow.
No offense to anyone, but I'm ashamed of everyone who said they thought it was a really good story.
Quite frankly, they writing style is pretty bad. There aren't enough transitions and stuff, things are very sudden, there isn't much explanation to anything, and the sex ed class scene is totally unrealistic, even in a fictional story.
I may be wrong, and I really don't mean to be judgemental, but I think you people are just saying its good because it's got nudity in it.
Oh, and another thing...you REALLY overused the word "boobs" in one of the chapters.

Demon_Slayer
January 31st, 2006, 07:12 PM
I understand the writing style is bad, I have fixed some kinks in my new stories, until I post them please do not Offend this one

Lily
February 1st, 2006, 12:39 PM
I may be wrong, and I really don't mean to be judgemental, but I think you people are just saying its good because it's got nudity in it.


...Let me just clarify one fact: your judgment is very, very misguided in my case, K?

Just because I feel so self conscious now, let me reword my previous review:

A lot of stories like these that I have read have little to no plot in them, whether rushed by the writer's personal expection or just driven by the reader's eagerness. I thought the writing style was okay if you were intentionally aiming for these kind of stories. If not, then I'd strongly advise heavy revising (if you're serious enough about your work).

oni flygon
February 1st, 2006, 04:41 PM
Same goes here...

If you're expecting this to be a your masterpiece or something, I would say to be less crude on your work and to not use this reply box to type in the story. Try using MS Word because it helps a lot, y'know? And even though you did separate your story into paragraphs... they're block paragraphs. The best way to separate is to break off whenever there's dialogue. It's easier that way and it's even easier because readers won't be so confused to whoever is speaking (the exception is The Great Gatsby, however because I was utterly confused even though there are breaks in dialogue... ><)

jasonresno
February 1st, 2006, 06:24 PM
I hardly think four paragraphs should constitute as a "chapter"....

Lady Akita
February 1st, 2006, 11:28 PM
I only post part chapters. Don't feel like posting the whole thing.
Yeah. Akinari's right, lo. Word has tons of suggestions in there, from spelling to writing style, I couldn't even get to change it all to fit its needs. o.O;
But actually, with the over-use of the word 'boobs' and really, most of your chapters focusing on specific moments of Jeremiah and certain girl, and skipping out everything else like the everyday happenings and history, well, it's too hard to catch up.