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GodofPH
January 10th, 2006, 08:07 PM
Oh Beauty

A poem by Pat Hessman

I see you brush past me, I'm too shy to talk
I cannot speak a word, entranced by the way you walk.

You're a ray of constant beauty, enthralling me day to day
I even asked you to a dance, you even said you may

But can't it go to something true, I've asked it once before
Your answer was a no, but it drives me even more

You see me as passerby, barely just a friend
But you, oh you, is what can make my lonely end

Cannot you see my true feelings, does it mean a thing?
You can, you can; make my heart go from ache to sing.

Please, oh beauty, please give me a chance.
I can treat you sincerely, like an eternal dance.

It would please me so, if a chance was given
The remants of my tattered soul become arisen

You may not think anything of this heart-pouring
But if you were to accept me, it would be like soaring

I try and try, your acceptance is my goal
Please, dear beauty, heal my broken soul

Sumomo & Kotoko
January 11th, 2006, 08:30 AM
I love it, its great. It would be mean not to comment.

The only thing I found wrong with it is this line: "me too shy to talk" the me should be I'm.

Other then that it was super great!! *claps*

-8/10-