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Thomas
January 15th, 2006, 10:02 AM
Well since Eli reposted her thread I will repost mine...hopefully I will get better feedback this time around.

Broken Souls

Take a ****ing look
At the devastation
What can you do
While on vacation

See the tears
See the bloodshed
See their tired faces
Broken hearts
Broken bones
Waiting to mend

Tell me please
Will you answer their plea

Take a ****ing look
What are you blind?
They need a helping hand
Not get left behind!

See the pain
See the anguish
See their tired faces
Broken homes
Broken places
Waiting to mend

Tell me please
Will you answer their plea

Eliana
January 15th, 2006, 05:08 PM
Lol, "since Eli" XD *flattered*

Kay so a few things.

"Take a f***ing look
At the devastation
What can you do
While on vacation"

^ Liking that. Dunno why, just liking it.

Secondly...Dear Thomas:

Punctuation is your friend!

XD Use that quote wisely.

Thomas
January 15th, 2006, 08:20 PM
My poetry is informal poetry, I never use punctuation. Here is another poem:

Love Like Ice

My love for you is just like fire
You felt nothing for me at all
All I have for you is desire
But you shield yourself like a wall
I fight with all my might to break
But your emptiness brings me despair
This is about as much I can take
We seem to move nowhere
As my fire grows to great heights
Your feelings grow colder than ice
You can't tell me that this is right
It isn't just a roll of the dice
You will never have love for me
I will just have to open my eyes and see