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Eliana
February 14th, 2006, 06:22 PM
This is kind of different for me. ^_^
Just wanted to write it, I was bored...Enjoy!

Your Superior

I am all you are not
I am that I am.
I am the darkness, the darkness that made you weary and cold.
I am death, death that wraps around your bloody soul.
I am the light, the light that consumes you, that left you blind.
I am life; the one possession you could never find.

I am the truth through bliss and tears;
I am the liar that you always feared.
I am the anguish of your clotting scars.
I am the agony of your mangled heart.
I am the pain that seared straight through your skin.
I am loss; the murderer of your only grin.

I am the lives you took away.
I am the innocents you shot into the grave.
I am the victims that you slayed.
I am your weapon- your rusty blade.

I am your nightmare; your foggy dreams.
I am the devil in your sleep.
I am your reflection; the bitter truth.
I am sorry- but I am actually you.

Lily
February 14th, 2006, 06:33 PM
Awesome! I especially love the ending...nice little twist you gave it. It might just be me, but I have yet to read a poem perfectly with all the rhyme schemes in place...o_O;

Either way, the only mistake I find are the semi-colons...I don't think the two phrases are implying separate thoughts; then again, I don't know if this applies to poetry.

Nice piece, Eliana~ ^__^

Eliana
February 14th, 2006, 06:47 PM
Awesome! I especially love the ending...nice little twist you gave it. It might just be me, but I have yet to read a poem perfectly with all the rhyme schemes in place...o_O;

Either way, the only mistake I find are the semi-colons...I don't think the two phrases are implying separate thoughts; then again, I don't know if this applies to poetry.

Nice piece, Eliana~ ^__^

*Nod* Rhyming schemes are hard to find. I think you'd like Angel of Death (I posted it a few days ago) there ISN'T a rhyming scheme, so no problem. XD

Oh. Nah, a poet always uses semi-colons, as I figured out. xD

Thanks! ^^