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View Full Version : The Adventures of Hatman™ & Sparrow™!


ragin6
February 23rd, 2006, 04:43 AM
This is a fic I've written with a good friend of mine and that we're very proud of XD

Anyhow, there is the usual disclaimer stuff about not taking this as your own etc etc... Other than that, this story will sometimes be filled with foul language, but we've tried to keep it clean some of the time, also i hope no one will be offended by this as there sometimes can be sentences that may seem a bit rude towards a nationality or other stuff, besides that i hope you will enjoy this fic and laugh as hard as we did when we wrote it...

The Adventures of Hatman™ and Sparrow™!
Theme Melody Playing: Hatman™ Tudududududu Hatman™!

Once upon a time, in the city of Motham™ where crime ruled, a hero was born... Hatman™!
Hatman™ was lazy, and liked to watch the Teletubbies all day long...
He was always hot, because he wore loads of hats, and it took too much time to get them on and of all the time, resulting in him having a sweaty face.
He was their heir of a millionaire, so he used a lot of his money on hats, giving him the biggest hat collection in the world.
He has a Hatcave™ under his mansion, which contains all kind of stuff that the science that existed in the days that he protected Motham™ couldn't have made, simply because that technology didn't exist at that point.
His butler Manfred™ takes care of the Hatcave™, polishing the Hatmobile™ so it looks shiny whenever Hatman™ is off to fight crime.
When he's not Hatman™, he's known as the nice and wealthy person Esurb Enjaw.
By his side when fighting crime he has his young, but brave partner Sparrow™! Sparrow™ was a 9-year-old boy Esurb has saved from being pecked to death by some violent ducks.
One day, when they were watching Cartoon Network as Teletubbies had been cancelled, they noticed a sign in the sky! It was the Hatsign™! Esurb hurried up and went over to the red phone standing in a glass lid and lifted it. ”Chief?! What’s wrong?" Esurb asked.
"Its Santa Pause™! He pausing all the TV stations!" The Chief said.
"So that is why Teletubbies has been cancelled today" Esurb was thinking to himself in shock.
"You gotta stop him Hatman™! If the people of Motham™ cant see Teletubbies, there's no telling how mad they will be!" The Chief said.
"I’m on my way chief! That maniac Santa Pause™ has to be stopped!" Esurb hung up the phone, he was shaking all over, he had abstinences from not getting his daily dose of Teletubbies.
"Sparrow™! To the Hatmobile™!"
Sparrow™ jumped up from the couch. "Gee Hatman™! I love it when you say that!"
They hurried over to the cabinet that was standing in the living room and opened it. It was filled with all sort of Teletubbies fan stuff. Esurb pressed Tinky Winky on the stomach and the cabinet revealed a hidden door.
The Hatcave™ was filled with all sorts of hats, from a Mexican sombrero to an English bowler. The Hatcave™ was a huge place, much bigger then the mansion it is under, perhaps even bigger than an ant hole.
Sparrow™ changed into his costume so he wouldn't be recognized! A pair of plastic wings and he took of his Zorro like mask made out of fluid latex. He wore the Zorro mask daily when he was in town or just relaxing, so no one would know who he really was.
"Are you ready Sparrow™?" Esurb asked while impatiently tapping his left foot on the floor.
"Wait a sec, these darn wings keep falling of my back"
"Urg, you always take such a long time changing"
"Yeah well, I don't want a back a sweaty as your head!"
"Hmm... you have a point there... just hurry up for God's sake , and then perhaps we'll be back just in time for the last part of Teletubbies!"

1 hour , 23 minutes and 61 seconds later…

"Finally! You're ready! Sparrow™, to the Hatmobile™!"
"Gee Hatman™! I love it when you say that!"
They hurried over to the Hatmobile™, but only to find a disaster waiting for them.
"Golly Gosh Hatman™! The tire is flat! What do we do?!" Sparrow™ said.
"Hmm, this looks like sabotage!" *Dramatic music* *Hatman™ looks right at the camera* "But who can it be? Who knows of the caves existence?

*Speaker voice*
"Who has sabotaged the Hatmobile™? Who knows where the Hatcave™ is placed? And will our heroes get to see Teletubbies and save Motham™ from complete destruction? That and much more in next episode of: The Adventures of Hatman™ and Sparrow™"
See you next episode!

Dragon-Chan
February 23rd, 2006, 09:53 AM
It's very weird, parodied and nosensical...I loved it. xD

ragin6
February 23rd, 2006, 02:00 PM
Woohoo! The first reply! Hehe... We've got 13 episodes written so far, and of course we'll hope to get more ready soon, but for now, please enjoy the 2nd episode!

The Adventures of Hatman™ and Sparrow™! Part two!
Theme Melody Playing: Hatman™ Tudududududu Hatman™!

Speaker voice :
"Last time on: The adventures of Hatman™ and Sparrow™!"
*Black and white stills from last episode come up*
"Last time our heroes’ favorite show, Teletubbies, had been cancelled! They found out it was the villain Santa Pause™ who was behind this menace! Further troubles met our heroes when they found out the Hatmobile™ had a flat tire! Who could have done it? And will they save the city of Motham™ before it’s too late? Find out, today, in this new episode of: The adventures of Hatman™ and Sparrow™!"

"Manfred™!" Hatman™ called.
"Yes master Esurb?" Manfred™ replied.
"Do you have any idea who did this?" Hatman™ asked pointing at the flat tire.
"Yes, master Esurb..." Manfred™ replied.
"Who? And why didn't you stop this lunatic?" Hatman™ asked.
"I did" Manfred™ answered.
"You?" Hatman™ replied stunned. "Why on earth would you want to do that"?
Manfred's™ eyes began to fill with tears: “Because you hadn't paid me my monthly allowance in Chocolate Eggs this month" he said in between his sobbing.
*Silence from Hatman™ and Sparrow™*
"What do I look like? The Easter bunny?!” Hatman™ asked after a while.
"Actually yes, that one time when you wore a bunny ear hat" Sparrow™ replied.
"Shut up , I didn't ask your opinion!" *Hatman™ hits Sparrow™ on top of the head, in a animé kinda way* *Hatman™ sighs*
"Sparrow™! You'll take the Hatrollerblades™, then I’ll take the Hatskateboard™!"
"Gee Hatman™! I love it when you say that!"

30 minutes and 61 seconds later our heroes arrives at the TV station, tired from the exercise.

Hatman™ and Sparrow™ entered the tall TV building, it was the tallest in all Motham™; 50 floors excluding the roof. Reports had been made that Santa Pause™ was on the rooftop.
"We need to get to the top! Lets take the elevator!"
"Gee Hatman™! I love it when you say that!"
"Hmm, it seems that the elevator is on the next floor... and its going up!" *dramatic music* "Let's see if we can catch it on third floor Sparrow™!"
Hatman™ and Sparrow™ reached the third floor very fast, but it was too late, the elevator was now on the fifth floor!
"Let's try and catch it there Sparrow™!" Hatman™ said breath taken from the running up the stairs.

16 minutes and 61 seconds later

"It's on the 35th floor now Sparrow™! Let's see if we can catch it there! We're only two floors under it!"

14 minutes and 61 seconds later

"Hatman™... *gasp gasp*... we made it... *gasp*... look , the elevat... *gasp*... or isn't here yet... Quickly... let's stand infront of... *gasp*... the doors so we can get inside at once... *gasp*... they open…” Sparrow™ said while pushing Hatman™, who was still breathing heavily, in the direction of the doors.
Just as they stood in front of the doors, the familiar 'PING' sound could be heard, indicating that the elevator had arrived on the floor.
The doors opened.
Both Hatman™ and Sparrow™ jumped inside.
"We... *gasp gasp ... made it Sparrow™..."
"Yes... final… *gasp*... ly"
"Press the... *gasp*... button so we'll go to the next... *gasp*... floor" Hatman™ said while pointing at the buttons.
While Sparrow pressed the '50' button , Hatman™ looked up at the display of the floors.
"You've got to... *gasp*... be kidding me" Hatman™ said with a horrified look on his face. Sparrow™ looked up at the display as well. "Golly gosh Hatman™... *gasp*... it's only one more floor"
"I can see" Hatman™ said while the doors closed.
"Ah well , at least it's one floor less to take the stairs for"
Just as Hatman™ finished his sentence , the elevator started moving. But instead of going up, the elevator began going down!
"What?! Didn't you press the '50' button Sparrow™?" Hatman™ had now caught his breath and was talking normally.
"Ye... *gasp*... s I did Hat... *gasp*... man™!"
"Will you cut that gasping out, you have been standing still for 5 minutes now, are you a man or a mouse?"
"Actually I'm just a 9 year old boy" Sparrow™ replied with an innocent smile on his face.
"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Both Hatman™ and Sparrow's™ screams could be heard all over the building. The elevator didn't stop ‘till it was back down on the 1st floor. The doors opened and Hatman™ and Sparrow™ got out, just to meet an old man in some overalls.
"And who might you be?" Hatman™ asked the old man.
"I'm the Janitor™!" *dramatic music* *Hatman™ looks at the camera* "I'm here to tell you the elevator is broken..."
"Sparrow™! I have an idea! We can use your Plastic Wings™ to fly all the way up to the roof!"
"Are you sure that’s a good idea Hatman™? Last time we tried jumping out from the roof at home, we broke our legs..."
"Stop whining Sparrow™! We'll fly to the rooftop across the TV-station and then use our Hatwireguns™ to swing over to the TV station roof without Santa Pause™ noticing us!"
Hatman™ and Sparrow™ got outside the building and Hatman™ crawled up on Sparrow's™ shoulders. Sparrow™ then started to flap with his arms and like it was magic they suddenly started to lift off from the ground.
"What the..." Hatman™ said surprised.
In a few minutes they had reached the other rooftop.
"Why didn't we think of this before Sparrow™? Now I feel so stupid..."
They took their Hatwireguns™ from their patented Hatbelts™ and shot the wires all over to the TV-station roof.
"Let's take the elevator to the roof Hatman™!"
*Hatman™ hits Sparrow™ on the head in an animé kinda way... again*
"We tried that last time... it's broken now! Duh!" Hatman™ replied.
“Gee Hatman™! I love it when you say that!”
Hatman™ and Sparrow™ then rushed to the stairs and hurried up to the roof, where they would face the cruel, evil, destructing, bad... you get the point... villain known as: Santa Pause™!

*Speaker voice*
"Will our heroes be able to defeat Santa Pause™? Will they get home in time for Teletubbies? And will Sparrow™ ever stop saying "Gee Hatman™! I love it when you say that!"? That and much more in next weeks episode of: The adventures of Hatman™ and Sparrow™!
See you next episode!”

Hatman™ and Sparrow™ is a trademark of Chris & Boy Entertainment Corporation

Action figures available in Junk'R'Us *batteries not included*