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Eliana
February 27th, 2006, 03:29 PM
Yeah, wrote this a while back. =] Enjoy.


Deadly Infatuation

So starts the obsession, this endless infatuation
Waiting to explode, time for evacuation
You call it love but thats untrue
Biting off more than you possibly chew

Youre a stranger now, fallen to your sickly emotions
Drowning in lust that started this commotion

You just might crash if you dont slow down
Youre aiming high but youll hit the ground
Before you know it, its gone in midair
Deadly Infatuation; enter if you dare

So starts the romance, this artificial passion
Going nowhere, your stylistic fashion
You call it bonding but youre wrong
Go ahead, lead yourselves on

Youre a victim now, head over heels in chemical love
No surfacing now, you just cant get enough

You just might crash if you dont slow down
Youre aiming high but youll hit the ground
Before you know it, its gone in midair
Deadly Infatuation; enter if you dare

Cant you feel the love tonight?
The illusion of your friendless mind
desperately searching for a single find
Shame youre looking to no avail
Youre trying too hard, but youre going to fail.

You just might crash if you dont slow down
Youre aiming high but youll hit the ground
Before you know it, its gone in midair
Deadly Infatuation, enter if you dare

Persona
February 27th, 2006, 03:33 PM
hey that's pretty good ^^ but XD all of the words that needed comma's u put question marks in them, u might wanna fix that lol O.o

Kylie-chan
February 27th, 2006, 03:35 PM
Wow, I really like that one, Eli! <3 I don't understand why you capitalised the "I" of infatuation all throughout the writing, though.

It flows neatly, and it's spelt and written well.

In fact, other than the infatuation thing, my only issue with it is "Biting off more than you possibly chew". It might just be me, but I don't get how it makes sense in the context of the song...

Anyway, nice work! <333

Eliana
February 27th, 2006, 03:35 PM
hey that's pretty good ^^ but XD all of the words that needed comma's u put question marks in them, u might wanna fix that lol O.o
*shakes head* you're using unicode or something. =/



Kylie: I dunno. I know you usually do that when it's the title, but it's not a required thing. I completely agree on the sentence, though..I've been attempting to fix it.

Kylie-chan
February 27th, 2006, 03:46 PM
Ah, okay. It's fine as it is, just doesn't quite make sense xD;

Eliana
February 27th, 2006, 03:54 PM
Ah, okay. It's fine as it is, just doesn't quite make sense xD;
OH!

*explains* o_O xD

It basically means the person is trying way too hard.

There. =]

Merzbau
February 28th, 2006, 08:09 PM
I have a funny feeling I know who and what this poem is about...XD

Even so, I do gotta say it was well written. Kylie's right about the capitalization thing; it should be lowercase. Harsh and to the point, I like the way it flows. I'm just not much for the last line of repetition. But that's just me; I hardly ever use it, me writing songs normally. And you might wanna fix it back up. The Unicode swith kinda screwed it up. XD

Kylie-chan
March 1st, 2006, 08:38 PM
OH!

*explains* o_O xD

It basically means the person is trying way too hard.

There. =]
Ohhh, I get it. It all makes sense now.