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Jirachi-master
March 1st, 2006, 01:37 PM
Please note that this was meant to be read when it was actually written.



Episode 1: The dawn of tomorow (aka pilot episode)

Ona pieceful day 50 survivors wake up after surviving an attack on Merrytown city. 10 of these form a special bond. They are Jaden Yuki, Sho Treusdale, Alexis Rhodes, Ken Kazaki, Ririko, Yashio, Kelly Kaoro, Leo Enkengon, Sherry Enkengon, and Jake Misawa. When a day passes without any sigh of help they decide to bury the dead but they are suspicious of three surviors, Chazz Princeton, Ryo Truesdale and Velon Chronos. They not only refuse to helpbut refuse to converse with anyone. So Sho and Yuki who have developed a special bond follow the intruders. WHen sho sees them he looks like he knows one of them.(this wil be explained soon) they stay in the backround so not tobe seen. And they overhear that the attack went exactly as planned and that everything they need is within their grasps. They than flee and report this to their other fellow survivors. when the three return Yuki wonders what their next move is and what theirs should be. TO BE CONTINUED...

Episode 2: Trial of survival

As the survivors continue to thrive they must resort to other tactics such as eating fruit and vegies in local gatrdens. They do m anage to salvage some of the buildings and even get running water and eletricity to two of the apartment buildings. All of course while keeping an eye onthe three survivors Yuji and sho heard talking who have mysteriusly moved into a locked suite of one of the appartments. the group eans mre about each other such as the fact that leo and sherry are brother and sister. As life continues they figure out that nobody is coming. They also relize that none of the survivors was resident in the city. They were all turists. Than suddenly an earthquake hits. Luckily its a light one but it was appearently trigured by the suite that our villionous trio are staying in. So ken and Yuki barge up and bang on the door but all they hear is Velon saying "let thr extermination begin" TO BE CONTINUED...

just to let you know starting in episode 3 I will be using the term centric after a name. this means that the episode will have a special focos on that character as well reveal a portion of their past before the disater. So if an episode is sho-centric it will reveals part of his past.

On the next Extermination: Its a jaden (yuki) centric episode and we learn of his hard past. Also ryo reveals a startling secret about sho that will change the way the rest of the survivors look at him.

Episode 3: A life wothout love

A jaden-cetric episode that reveals his backstory. He was apparently abused as a child and nearly dies when hes thrown down a flight of stairs by his father. As this influences he present he becomes very nosy to Velon and secretly follows him. Velon discoves him though but he lets him go. But when hes caught a secodn time Velon tells him that hes being too much of a pain and kidnapps him and brings him to his suite. There he prders Ryo to send Sho a note teeling him to meet Ryo on the roof. As sho gets the note he runs up to th building where he find s ryo holding a gun to Jaden's head. He then hands Sho a gun and tells him to pick, Jaden or his brother. He sayd thi really loud so all the survivors her him. Yup thats right Sho and Ryo are brothers. TO BE CONTINUED...

Next on extermination: a sho-centric episode that will reveal some socking stuff about his past. And will sho kill his brother or let his new best friend die. This discision will change his life and he makes it. Whatbwill he do? Tune in next time


episode 4: Chaos Cauldrin

A sho-centric episode that reveals that his brother walked out on him and his mother one day and left them with tons of financial debt. Sho tried to talk him out of it but he payed o atttention to his younger brother. AT the nage of 8 sho was taken away and sent to a foster home. On his first night there when he was forced to abide by the rules to shower with the rest of th guys and also to sleep in a bunkbed. But the problem was that Sho had insecurites about undressing in front of others so he was beat up apidly by the bullies there. He adventually escaped and was began to fend for himself. As we continue our present story, Ryo is tempting sho by making him chose between his brother and his best friend. As ryu's taunts get too mcuh he fires the gun ryo gave him and shoots ryo. Ryo than falls offf the buildinga and into the alley. Sho grabs jaden so he doesnt fall. He than feels guilty because he believes that he killed his brother but Jaden comorts him. Velon angry about his plan failing, secretly vows revenge against Sho and jaden.



episode 5: Fate of a loved one

An Alexis centric-episode which reveals her back story but in the present note, sho is recovering from losing his brother and than Kelly, alexis and Ririko investigate the mysterous duo chazzz and velon as they spy on them thehy are seen and they immedietly flee. Velon tells chazz that they might be a problem which might have to ebexterminated. As alexis sneaks back in she overhears that velon was involved in her brothers disappearance. she than runs away crying. Jaden finds her in the wreckage of a coffee shop and she tells him that her brother went missing when she was little and she has never seen him again. SHo than fids them and she tells the two of them that her father was never arounds after she lost her mother and he often came home drunk which left her to take care of her brother and she grew to love him even more. But when he mysteriously vanished her father did nothing and she was forced to leave home to find him and she has been searching ever since. And this was 4 years ago. Jaden comforts her and the two share a warm moment. Sho who has since walked away spots a scowling velon spying on them and as he walks way with the two, sho prepares for velon and vows to make sure that he will not let him hurthis friends. TO BE CONTINUED... NExt time: someone is kidnapped



Heres a triple treat
Episode 6: Enemy of justice
a sherry centric episode which reveals that her father owned a succesful gaming company that one day dug up a mysterious object which was accidently unleashed by an intruder and the business than crumbled. In [resent time survival life continues. But velon kidnapps ririko and alexis

Episode 7: he hunter and the huntie

A kencentric episode which reveals that his father left him to be raised by hisgrandmother who took poor care of him. It tells of his great hero Eric who taught him how to appriciate life but his hero died of a disease casting ken into sorrow. At present time, Ken, Leo, Jaden and Sherry track down ririko and alexis to an abandoned store in the city

Episode 8: Gauntlet of hope

a leo centric episode which has the same plot as his sisters but from his point of view. It turns out that he was the one who uleashed the force that distroyed his father company. As they come closer to finding their friends, rirko and Alexis escape and get ahold of a gun. In a great laps of judgement ririko accidently shoots Sherry and she dies in her brother's arms. Tension rises as Velon looks on. TO BE CONTINUED... only two episodes left before I break until January. Next time: Expect some leo/Ririko tension an a startling secret will be revealed soon.


Episode 9: Family crisis

A ririko centric episode. Tension arrises as the survivors are reunited. Rirko is shunned by her fellow survivors and she remembers how when she was in school, how she was the mst popular girl in her class. But at home her life wasnt so happy. Her father was strict and she always had very high expectations to fill. She eventually ran away from home but she came back because her parents promised a fresh start. At present time, as ririko sulks in her spartment Leo knocks at her door and holds agun to her. He scolds her for her crime and even though she tries to talk him out of it, he fires his gun but his anger makes him miss. As he begins to fire again, ken arrivs and talks him out of it and tnhan he stomps off. Rirko thanks him and he says that he understamds. As ririko prepares tea for the two of them, down the hall Velon and Chazz are jjust about to finish a master plan when they are barged in upon by Sho and Jaden. The two demand answers immedietly and hazz aggrees to tell them everything. TO BE CONTINUED...

On the next extermination: The final episode til the weeklyserialaztion in January. Its kelly-centric expect a big twist, a big shocker, big revelations, and one more character will die. Stay tuned


Episode 10: Reflection of one oneself

A Kelly-centric epiode. Jaden and sho burst in on velon and chazz and demand answers. Chazz tells them that the creatures they have been seeing are monsters from the souls of the departed. He used to have to kill someone to get their soul but now he found a way to keep the host alive. He said that he and his group are spies for a secret cult set on destroying the world. He said that he wants fighters to help him revolt against the cult. Jaden and Sho believe him but then ask why he kidnapped his friends and chazz is totally lost. Velon than reveals that chazz was a suspected traitor so he was sent to spy on him and as velon raises a gun to kill chazz, sho shoots velon, killing him. Chazz than says that he wants to unleases jaden's and sho's inner spoirits and they try to unleash it but a misfunction sends the beam out the windoe. Meanwhile Kelly flashes back to when she was eight. SHe remembers howe she and her father investigated weird occurances together. But when nobody believed them her father f=worked harder but he was on day murdered because people didnt believe him. Kelly promised to get revenge by proving his theories. At present time as Kelly tries to comfort Leo the beam that went out the window hits them and their spirits escape and run away right in fron t of them. Back at chazz'a apartment, Chazz also tells Jaden and Sho that Ryo, shos brother who was presumed dead afdter shp shot him is alive. Back to kelly and leo, Leo and Leey wonder what just happened so they get up and chase after it only Kelly is suddenly struck by a assing car right in front of Leo. Leo immedietly calls for help and as the car drives off, Leo glances at the driver and to his surprise, the drivedr is none other than Ryo Himself. Ryo than pars the car and goes into Chazzes appartment and as he enters he says "Im back folks and chazz syas "long time no see" and ryo replies with"yup but lets get down to business" TO BE CONTINUED IN JANUARY Coming up: Get ready to see chazz's and ryo's past as well as see if Kelly survives and whos spirit monsters are unleashede. Tune in This January.

Epsidoe 11: Unleased


This is a chazz centric episode. We finally learn that he was abandoned by his father and left with his aunt to be raised. We learn that he was kidnapped by the colt because he over heard their conversation and they forced him into it. Back in the story, Sho and Jaden can barly take in that Ryo is still alive. He explains that he had a parachute ready and has been hiding out at the headquarters of the colt. He takes Sho aside and have a private chat with him. Meanwhile Leo calls for help for the injured Kelly. Three people answer, the youthful Leon and Noah and the Australian teen Valon. Valon has medical training so he bandages Kelly's wound and helps her up to her and now Leo's apartment. Jaden asks Chazz a very important question, he wants to know why he has been stalking and kidnapping the group. Chazz again flashes back to his first day at the colt 4 years ago and learns that this has been in the work for years and that a spy would lurk among the survivors. Chazz than tells Jaden that he was trying to find the traitor. One of the survivors is a traitor waiting to kill every survivor one by one. Back to ryo, he tells sho that he wants to reconcile with him. Sho tells him that because ryo abandoned him that his life was ruined by ru tells him that he had a perfectly good reason to do what he did. One which SHo would never believe TO BE CONTINUED... Next week


Episode 12: The brothers Truesdale


This is a ryo-centric episode. Ryo left home when he was only a teen and abandoned his family. He always kept to himself the reasons why he did so. It is revealed that he found out a secret about himself and couldnt bear with it. a few weeks later, he was approached by a man named Ganner. The man seemes to know all about Ryo and he talked him into joining the colt. Back to the present, Ryo begins to tell sho about his past. Mean while Jaden(yuki) is confronted by Noah(one of the newly reealed characters) Noah asks Jaden if there is any reason why after a month since the attack, nobody has come for them. Jaden replies that he doesnt know but promises to keep everyone safe. Meanwhile, Kelly recovers in her room with Leo carefully watching over her. When she awakens he tells her to rlac because shes safe. Outside Alexis gets to know Valon. They share a conversation and than he takes off to his room. Than he pulls from his pocket a paper and unfolds it mysterously. Meanwhile, Jake finds a man in the back alley. He calls for help and Jaden and Chazz run to help him. Valon(who has since came out of his room) treats his injuries. While the guy is recovering Valon asks his name. The man replies that his name is Ganner. Back with Sho Ryo has told him what happened in the month since he left home. But he still doesnt tell sho why he left. He tells sho that the man named Ganner who asked him to join the colt, knew everything about his life. He also says that he is the only one whoknows Ganner's true identity. Thats how ryo got into the colt. He soon met Chazz not much later. But he was sworn to silence as to who Ganner is. Sho than outburst at his brother and demands to be told why he left home. Ryo than admits that he was going through his mom's closet looking for a dress his mother asked him to retrieve when he found a box. He reluctantly opened it out of curiosity and found his and sho's birth certificates and a mysterious third one which had no name but had the same birthdate as ryo's own certificate. He confronted his mother about this and she broke down and told him that Ryo had a twin. She couodnt at the time afford both so she out one of them up for adoption. When Sho hears this he cant believe his ears but Ryo swears it as the truth.

TO BE CONTINUED...
so how was that for a twist. But it gets even more twsted next week when the sho really takes a big turn.


Episode 13: Judgement


A sho and jake centric episode. Well learn that while living on his own, he met jake in an alley. We learn that Jake apparently give him a temporary home. He also gave hima job working at his convienient store. Back on the present Sho researches his family and tries to track down his long lost brother. He calls ryo when he stunbles upon something intresting. He learns that ryo's twin was adopted by a Saolomi family. But he went missing at the age of 5 and hasnt been seen since. yo than leaves and he tells Jaden all of this. But Jaden seems to have other concerns. meanwhile Valon makes a nice gourmet meal for alexis while noah, Leo, Leon, and Ken try to find out where they are. But all there is to see are tress and forestry for miles. Than Ken makes a discovery on the net.(not somehow, our survivors have mysteriously been able to get electricity, internet service and running water to two apartment buildings which were undamaged in the attack) Ken learns that Merrytown USA is not even on the map whatsoever. Bask to Sho's past he worked at Jake's stre for about a year when Jake told him that they had a business trip in Merrytown USA. He wanted to make Sho a full partner in the business. Sho happily agreed and the two flew to merrytown. Meanwhile, Sho learns something that the child was reportedly seen two years after being kidnapped but he was wasnt alone. Than when Valon checks on Ganner(the injured guy found last week) he is out of bed. he calls Jaden and Ryo. They cant figure out where he couldve gone. Until they get a phone call. Ryo answers. He has an astonished look on his face as he passes the phone to Jaden and Valon. A phrase is repeating over and over again on the other end saying "the time for final extermination is near, remember the name of the Colt eon." Afer repeating for over a minute it says "this is Ganner, the leader of the colt saying, watch who you take in" and than hangs up. The three stand in awe relizing that the man they helped was the leader of the colt that wants every survivor dead. Meanwhile Sho discovers that the only sighting of his long lost brother was two years after the boy had disappeared from his adoted home. And the man he was seen witbh was a man named Ganner. But the witnesses were son kille das well as every detective on the case so the case was shelved. he immedietly runs out of his room to tell his brother when a gloved hand shoves a cloth over his mouth. Sho begins to feel faint and passes out. But just before he passes out, he hears the same words as on the phone "the time for final extermination is near, remember the name of the colt, Eon, This is ganner the leader of the colt saying "watch who you take in". Sho is than dragged away.


Episode 14: In the eye of the beholder


Jaden is terrified over the meeage over the hone and the news gets worse when it is revealed that the town they are in was destroyed by a war 20 years ago. But was suddenly a vacation spot one week before the attack on it. It than sinks in that they are not in any ordanary place. Meanwhile Ryo goes to find sho only to find his shoes in the middle of the hall and they have drops of Chlorophane on them. He takes them to Jaden and they along with Alister go to find him.(alister is the one who pointed a gun at chazz but it wasnt to kill him. epsiode 11 will explain this) During the search, Jaden flashes back to when he finally escapes from his home and is taken in by a boy named Manny. The boy and his parents give him a home and he is eventually adopted by them. Whena fire breaks out in his new home he saves them all and puts it out nearly dying in the process. Back in the present, the group heads towards the alleys to see if they can find sho. They instead find a virtual map of the city and learn that a few small buildings have power as well. Back at the apartments, Alexis and Valon are having some quality time together. As he prepared to take her back to her place she sees a paper on his desk, she attemps to grab it but he grabs it first and locks it in a draw. She asks what it is and he tells her that it is nothing. So he walks her to her apartment she shares with another survivor. Meanwhile the alleys appear to have no other clues to where sho is and Jaden fears that he might lose him. He says that he cant lose another friend. He tells ryo and valon to go back to see if he left any clues on his computer. So they go. As Jaden sulks in the alley he hears a voice telling him to freeze and he sees out of the corner of his eye, a figure pointing a gun at him. As turns around, he sees that it is none other than Jake Misawa, a feelow survivor who had been trusted for months. Jake tells him that Judgement will be served and that the real name of where they are is an area called Eon.(the same name of the colt which happends to be an anagram) He says that he intends to destroy the evil ones and says that he is referring to the survivors. Jaden says that he is the evil one but Jake replies with "you may see it as evil but I do not and I guess that evil truly is in the eye of the beholder" He also says that Sho is safe but not for long. Jaden fears his life is about to end but Ryo who heard the shouts they made at each other runs to see what happens and catches Jake. Jake than immedietly flees but jaden shouts out that it aint over between them. Ryp and Jaden take time to take in that jake was a traitot(the one chazz was spying on) and they than return to the apartment to tell him that. Meanwhile Alister sees al the stuff sho saw on his computer and calls it in to ryo(the phone service is still up oddly enough though a call cant be made to outside the city) He tels him everything sho found(see last weeks episode) and he also fin ds somethign new by pluging in the virtual map. That a total of six buildings show signs of havin power, the two apartments and 4 others on the edge of town. he than says that sho must be in one of them. He thna hangs up to research more when he gets an email ont he computer saying "he is here with us and soon the rest of you will join him. Meanwhile Jake arrives back at an unknown house on the outscurts of town and Ganner is there waiting for him. he asks him if he completed the mission and Jake than brings in Sho(who he had hidden outside the house and who is still out) he and Ganner than bring Sho to a cell and throw him in and lock it. They that they are ready to put the next step of the plan into motion. EXTERMINATION(meaning to be ontinued in this series)

Episode 15: Eternal Redemption



An alister-centric episode. We open up with alister 10 years before the present. He wakes up and gets out of bed. As he walks down stairs and his family of a mother and a younger brother have a typical saturday morning talk. But than Alister suddenly hears loud bangs outside. He checks out the window to see tanks in the street attacking the houses. He opens the door only to find soldiers there. They try to take him but his mother takes out her shot gun and fires it at them. They than focus their attention and her. They knock alister to the ground and take his mother away and execute her. When they come back for alister, his great rage makes him pick up her shotgun and he blows all of the soldiers in the house away. Back at the present alister is looking out his apartmeny window. When Valon walks in, he asks what day it is. alon tells him that he doesnt waste his time worrying about the date when they have a colt after them. But he tells him that its been 50 days since they crashed. Than alister says that "today is the day" Valon wonders what he means but alister takes a gun out from his drawer and says to valon that he shouldnt try to stop him. Back to alisters past, his entire home town has been destroyed by the tanks. Now he and his brother are forced to fend for themselves. Alister, gives his brother two things he managed to save from his house, a locked with a picture of his mom and him and alister. He also gives him his favorite super hero action figure. He than says that he wont let anything happen to him. Back at the present Alister heads for the alleys and he calls otu for Ganner to show his face. After about five minutes Ganner shows himself and Alsiter points a gun at him and says that he will pay for what he did. Back to alister' past. Alister and his brother(whose name is Miky) They overhear from other people who survived, that Eon was behind this, a colt that was headed by a man named Ganner. Alsiter promised Miky that he will see to it that Ganner pays for what he did to their mother. Than tanks again roll in and start to kill any surivors from the town. They have the order to make sure that NOBODY survives. Alister and Miky run for their lives. Back at the prsent Alister says to Ganner that he will pay for taking away his family and friends. Ganner shows no remourse and Alister fires his gun at him. But the bullet just falls to the ground after hitting Ganner and Ganner appears to have no injury at all. Alister fires again but the same thing happens. Than Ganner walks toward Alister and says that he can finaly eliminate the LAST survivor of that villiage called Merrytown USA. The real one that was destroyed 10 years ago. He says that he bombed it twenty years ago but he failed to destroy it so the town changed its name. But he still found it and destroyed it. He walks up to Alister who is in agony at being reminded of his childhood and Ganner takes the gun from him and prepares to finish him off and says that they never were in Merrytown, he just took that name for the town that he planned to use to lure certain people to it to kill. Alister than flashes back to running from the soldiers. He and Miky run But while runnign his brother trips and sprains his ankle. Alister refuses to run without his brother and says that if they die he will let them die together. Miky tells him to run but Alister refuses. Alsiter sees soldiers heading right for him. Alister tries to get him away but he is shot at and forced to stop. They take Aliste but in the struggle he is knocked out and believed to be dead. When he awakes he hears his brother's screams of anguish. He runs for them only to see his YOUNGER(by 5 years) brother's bead body in the steet. Alister weeps over his brother and promises revenge. Back to the prsent alister says that he is ready to join his brother and Ganne rprepares to fire the gun. Alsiter again flashes back to his brother and he tracks down the spot where they put all the clothes of their victoms. He founds his brother's clothes and took out the locket and the little toy and although they were tarnished, they were still intact. He promised his brother to get revenge on Ganner and to keep thse safe. As he prepares the flee the town, he overhears that Ganner specificly ordered his brother's execution and that the town was in lock down and would be for the next year. he would give the remaining survivors that much time to join tghe colt or they would die. Alister secretly promises his brother that he will survive. Just as Alister thiks hes done for, Valon knocks him to the ground just as Ganner fires his gun. valon than looks up and Ganner is gone. alister asks Valon why he did that and Valon says that because Alister was his friend. Alister than tells him is story and that Today was the 10 year anniversury of his brothers death. Valon tells him that he has many secrets of his own and the two head back to the apartments. Back at Ganner's hideout, he returns and Jake asks him what THAT was all about. Ganner tells him that he just likes to taunt those in pain. Meanwhile, Sho who is in a prisionike cell behind bars wakes up and wonders where he is. He sees a computer and books and wonders where he has been taken. He than screams out for Jaden and Ryo. When Ganner and Jake hear this they simply laugh and say that they will never find him. EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED.

Episode 16: Regrets and Returns


A ken-centric episode. Ken flashes back to when he ran into ririko(another survivor) in the mall once.(why he was there remains to be answered) Back at the present, Ken, ririko, leo, and kelly decide that they must be the next rescue party to go and find Sho. Meanwhile, Naoh and Leon go into the alleys and play with a soccer ball they found in the apartment basement. Back to Ken's past, We learn that he was in a co nvienient store, whenthe store was suddenly robbed, Ken quickly took action and took out the robbers. This act was seen by a masked man in a car who Ken had figured ordered the attack. Ken ran out and the guy rolled down his windoe. He said only that Ken had the oppertunity to join his colt. He explained why Ken should but Ken told him to shove it and walked away. Back to the present, Ked and co. arrive at one of the houses that Alister determined to have power. They search the whole place but find nothing. During their search, Ken and ririko seem to grow closer. Suddenly they are attcked by Ganner and Jake at gunpoint aND TAKEN HOSTAGE. Meanwhile Leon and Noah take a short rest from teir game and learn that they each seem to hold dark secrets. Back to Ken, he manages to break free from his ropes and unties his friends too. Than he jumps Jake but Ganner knocks him out. But Leo manages to get the jump on them both and the 4 escape. But Ganner quickly recovers and fires his gun hitting ririko in the shoulder. Ken quickly shakes off his injury to help her. When he sees Ganner, it finally hits him that he was the man in the car that day. Ken flashes back to after he walked away from the car. Ganner had him followed and tried to convinvce ken to join but he still refused. He than drives off but says that Ken will regret it one day. Ken tries to comfort the agonizing ririko. Leo than jumps Ganner and Jake and tells ken, ririko and Kelly to run. Than Jake shoots Leo in his side but he still tells them to run. Relizing that there is nothing else they can do, they leave him. He tells when they hear another gunshot, they believe that hes dead. jake and Ganner run out fter Ken and co. but they are already gone. Than they return inside to get rid of Leo's body but they discover it gone. And there is no trail of blood from his two bullet wounds. Meanwile, Ken and co. return to the appartments. When asked where Leo is, Ken tells everyone that hes gone. Meanwhile, Leon and and Noah rap up their game, When Leon accidenly kicks the ball into the trashcans he runs to get it. When he gets there to pick it up, the ground under him suddenly crumbles and he falls underground. Noah runs to help him but cant. So he retrievs a flashlight and throws it to Leon. He than gets help. But Leon screams out to him. Noah runs to see if he is alright. He sees the flashlight and askes Leon what is wrong. Leon says that there are walls down here. And there are strange markings and paintings on the walls and that there are so many passages down here. He than tells Noah that he thinks hes in some kind of catacombs. When Leon flashes his light again, he makes out two words on the wall, Eon and Ganner. EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUEDEpisode 17: Catacombs


An Alexis-centric episode. Alexis flashes back to two weeks before the attack. She recieved a mysterious note in the mail with no return address saying that her brother(who has previously stated to have been missing for 4 years) was sighted in a place called Merrytown. Now Alexis never heard of this town but jumped on the oppertunity to find him so she went there. Back to the present, Noah runs to get help for Leon who is trapped in underground in some kind of catacombs. Leon cant walk either because he sprained his anckle. The ground is also unstable so they have to trwad cautiosly so they wont cause the ground to collapse. They need someone lean and petit to go down to get Leon up. Meanwhile, Alexis and Valon enjoy a nice dinner together in Valon's apartment to which Alexis has since moved into. They are totally unaware of the events going on in the alley's as Valon's apartment is in the front. They make full use of the electricity they have and althought they cant watch normal TV, dvd's still work.(they cant watch tv cause they dont have reception) Anyway, they fall asleep on the couch while other survivors try to help Leon. When morning comes, Valon fixes alexis a nice breakfast and as she eating, she flashes back to when she arrived in merrytown. She followed the clues and given in the letter which led her to a small resteraunt(destroyed in the attack) when she went in she was met by Ganner who tried to tell her that her brother is safe and that she should join him. She doesnt believe him when he tells her that her brother is not the one she knew. Even though the note was fake, Alexis feels the precense of her brother in town. So she vows to search the town until she finds him. Back to the present, Valon cleans up and utilizes the running water too. While he cleans up, Alexis sees a the same paper she had seen a few days before lying on the coffee table. She reaches for it but Valon quickly swips it up as he had done last time. She yells at him and asks why he is so eager to hide it. He confesses that it is just a shadow of the old him. That he was not always the guy he is now. Alexis tells him thatshe cant be with someone who keeps secrets from her. She than tells him that he knows about her past so he so give her the same respect but he politly turns her down. She storms out and he follows her. She runs into the alleys and sees the rescue operation going on there. Shes overhears that they need someone petit to go down so to stiock it to Valon she says that she will do it. Valon tells her that its too dangerous but she just shakes it off. She ties a rope around her and has Jaden, Chazz, and Ryo lower her down into the catacombs. When she is down, they throw down another rope to tie around Leon. When hes tied on she tells them to pull her up. She than flashes back to the night before the attack, she looks at a picture of her brother and promises to herself and to her brother that she will find him, no matter where he is. Back to the present, Alexis is about to be pulled up when the rope tied around her gets caught in a break in some rocks. Jaden reaches down to get it detached and he quickly gains successs so he headsback up. Just before he pulls he up Alexis and leon see something coming from one of the passages in the catacombs. Its a mysterious light. Alexis screams up that something is down there and they try to quickly get them up but Leon's rope snaps and she tells them to stop. She than picks him up and tells them that she will carry him. But the light is right in frot of them. Alexis sqints and sees a dark figure in front of her. But as she looks closer, she sees a boy in drab clothing approaching her. The boy says only onw word, Help! EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED... Next week, Alexis and Leon are pulled out along with this new boy, but who is this boy?



This show is like a regular series and it is planned to be long run with of course, breaks.


Episode 18: Allience



Valon flashes back to one day when he was simply going to the market for his mom. This was eight years beforen the current day. Valon was only 10. Suddenly he was taken from behind and shoved in a car and was driven off. When he awoke he was in a gray room with only a small lightbulb illuminating the darkness. Tha a man walked in and said "young valon, are you ready to join the darkness?" valon asked "who are you" and the man replied "I am ganner the leader of this called which you are to join" Back to the present Valon and everybody else is shocked when Jaden and Ryo pull up Aloexis and Leon only to find a a boy around Leon's age with them. The boy is fully awake but says nothing. So hes taken inside where They feed him ad get him fresh clothes. While the boy is eating Valon asks him who he is and why he was in the catacombs. The boy says nothing. So when he finishes eating Valon clears his dishes. As he puts them in the sink the boy says "he put me there, me and my friends he put me there and left us to die" valon asks who put him there and boy replied "ganner". Noah and alexis treat Leon's wound and discuss the new kid they found and the catacombs. Noah suggests that they search those catacombs. Jaden and Ryo overhear this and discourage the idea. But than Leon insists that he knows that something else is down there. He says that Sho might even be down there. Ryo walks away quitly. Back to Valon, he asks the boy why Ganner out him down there. The boy just says because I wouldnt do what he asked me to. Valon than flashes back to that dark room. Ganner untimidated him and scared him so much that Valon agreed to join the colt. Back to the present, Valon feeling sorry for the boy and seeing as how it was getting late let the boy rest in his bed for the night. Than he looked out his window at the moon and stars and felt the soft breeze hit his face. He flashed back to 4 years after he agreed to join the colt. He was given the task to murder a young boy. Valon who had no trouble completing any task from ganner before hesitated greatly. He said that he could not bring himself to kill ANOTHER child. Ganner loses it and shoots a pedestrian killing him. He than calls the police on Valon. He says that Valon did this crime and he has proof. When the police arrive Valin is forced to plead guilty and is taken to a juvenile prision. There they take his mug shot. While hes there Ganner comes in with a paper and hands it to Valon, it was his mugshot. He sid it was for Valon to look at and suffer with all his days. Valon tried to tear it up but something seemed to preent him from doing it. it was like he needed that mugshot for something. He sulked in his cell. Bac to the present, Alexis came over to Valon's apartment to see how the boy was doing. He told her he was fine and Alexis started to leave. But he stopped her and told her that he would tell her the truth. He took out that paper from the draw and showed it to her. She asked what this was and he told her it was his mugshot. He told her the whole story and she believed him. She asked why he kept it and he said that it was like a part of him. That for some reason, he couldnt get rid of it. Alexis gave the paper back to him and apologized for being such a wench. He told her that he didnt mind. Than she asked him how he us here if he was destined to spend the rest of his life behind bars. Valon than tells her(as he flashes back) that he spent 4 more years in that cell and than due to damages, they decided to transfer him to another prision. They did it by way of armored vehicle and that he was the only one being transferred. Valon knew they were going to exxecute him so when they stopped in a small town that they called "Merrytown" to get some food, they left him lockjed in the car. This was one day before the attack. Valon still willed to live and still knew that this paper of his mugshot was meant to help him someday. So he with all his might, broke the lock on the car and got out and ran away. He changed his clothes by taking it from a clothes store. The people he was with looked hard for him but he managed to escape them. They never dd catch him for he hid in one of the apartment building lobbies. back to the present, Alexis couldnt believe what she was hearing. She kissed Valon and said goodnight and went to the room she had there(she moved back in to save space) Valon slept on the couch and picked up his paper. He still didnt know how it would help him. The only thing he thought would help him was his prision number 4815162342.(the numbers from LOST and mysteries of th numbers) But he didnt know how. Back to Noah and Leon. They convinced Jaden and Ryo that Leon was better and they got them to agree that they would explore the catacombs in the morning. They thann went to bed. Than we see a door deep in the catacombs with a safe lock on it. And on the door are embossed numbers. Numbers that read 4815162342. EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...


Episode 19: Reaching Light


A noah centric-episode. Noah flashes back to 6 years earlier when he was only 8. He was the son of a Milti-trillionaire. He had almost everything he could ever want, exceot for his poarents love. Nothing he did could make them happy so thet adopted a child to present to him a test. But this kid was a genius who continued to outshne Noah. Back to the present, Noah, Ryo, Leon, Alexis, And Valon explore the mysterious catacombs and mark their way so they can get back. They seem to find nothing but writings on the wall. Basicly chicken scratch to them since they cant make it out. Alexis sees that Valon is carrying his mugshot with him. She asks why but he just says that he thinks that it may help them. Noah yells at them to shut up cause they were slowing down. Than he flashes back to about 6 months after Noah had gotten his adopted brother. he overheard his parents planning to get rid of him. Noah was bewildered that they could do this and his prepared to run away but was halted by his brotherwhose name is Clarence) Clarence bullied Noah saying how much better he had it. That he was jeaious of Noah because Noah had all the stiff money could buy and he still refused to work. That though to suffered through losing both his parents at the age of 4, he still worked hard. Clarence's story mmade Noah feel compassionion for the boy which was immedietly lost when the boy started to attack him. Back to the present, Noah and the group finally find something in the catacombs, a mysterious door. They try to open it but its locked. Than they see a safe lock on the door with buttons and Valon sees the numbers on his mugshot on the door. So he quickly types them in but nothing happens. He than slams the door in anger. Noah than says that he is sorry for eading them to nothing, that he just wanted to be usefull for once. But alexis tells them that she beleves that this door could be the key to their rescue. Noah finally flashes back to after the beating, His parents who were allarmed by the noise, went to see what was going on and they saw both boys on the ground. Before Noah could say what happened, Clarence spoke and told his parents that Naoh had attack him. They immedietly believed him so Noah's fathe took him upstaris stipped him and put him in a towel and shoved him in the car and drove off. Clarence gloted over his falsly won victory. Noah pleaded with his father to spare him but he didnt listen. His father drove to the edge of a cliff that faced a raging sea. He stopped the car and took Noah out. Than he said "ill teach you to dishonor me" and threw him over the cliff and into the river. Noah lie there, his bones acheing and his body freezing in the 30 degree temperates with nothing but a towel around him. Noah closed his eyes and prepoared to meet his end. After what seemed like forever Noah woke up and was in a bed. He asked a maid where he was and she told him that he was in Merrytown. Than a man named Ganner walked in and asked him to join his colt in exchange for his rescue. Noah told him to shove it and ganner thre him out of town. Noah smugged at this unkindness and walked away vowing revenge. He came across a small forest orphange. He walked in and was taken in by the people there. Back to thew present, Alexis comforts about his failure to find anything and they all head back out. When they come out they find tony brier,That kid they found and he asks them if they found a locked door? They tell himyes and he says that they cant open it. Its like Pandora's box. He says that he lost two of his friends in there and that he will never for get what he saw in there. Alexis and Valon look at each other and Valon says "well than mate, guess we better take another crack at that door than" EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

Episode 20: Eye of the Tiger



A Brier-centric episode. Brier and Alexis talk in her room about what he told Valon that he shouldnt open the door they found in the catacombs. Brier tells them that its evil in these. But there is some good too. Alexis asks him what he means but he doesnt say anything. He than flashes back to a time when he was in Merrytown a week before the explosion with two other people, Dimitrius Carmicle Benard Simons and a boy named Adam. They were being led to the back alleys where Ganner took them underground to the catacombs and locked them in that room. Back to the present, the next morning Valon and Noah try to figure out a way to open th door in the catacombs as it might present a lead to Sho's location. Leon approaches them and asks them what they will do if what Brier says is true and a disaster will occur if they open the door. Valon just says that he knows that he is meant to open that door. Meanwhile Ken and Ririko are in Ken's room and Ken is making her a nice breakfast. However they are ruddly interupted when the telephone rings suddenly. Ririko and Ken believe it to be one of their friends as nobody can call whose more than 100 yards away. Ken answers the phone but all he hears is static and an extremly faint voice in the backround but the voice is impossible to hear. Ken than hangs up the phone and wonders if it were Ganner who called him and if it was, why he didnt say anything. Alexis and Brier continue their talk they started the night before and Brier tells her that two of his friends are in that room along with something else. Alexis asks him what the something else is but he says that even he doesnt know but its pure evil. Brier than flashes back to his week in that room. It was simple enough with all the necessities. But there was a mysterious crate in there. For some reason Benard had a big motivtion to open it. So he focused all his time on picking opening this crate. Meanwhile, Adam, Brier, and Dimitrious focused their time on opening the door to get out. On their 7th day in that room(the room of the attack,) Benard notices a safe box on the back of the crate. He remembers some numbers he saw when Ganner first threw them in. He typed them in but nothing happened. He than typed in different numbers and the crate opened and so did the door. Brier and the rest wanted to escape but Benard told them that now they could funally see what was in the chest. Benard opened the chest and suddenly the room they were in started to crumble and Ganners voice appeared saying that that chest isnt meant to be opened yet. Benard recieves an electrical charge which immedietly kills him. Brier shuts the chest but the door than starts to closed. Adam hold sthe door and dimitrious gives brier a small supply of food. They tell him to run as he is the only one small enought o squeeze throught the small opening the door left.
Back to the present. Meanwhile, Ryo looks out his apartment window across what remained of the town. He thought hard about where his brother could be. Jaden walks into his room and asks him if hes ok. Ryo tells him that hes fine but he wants to find Sho. Jaden stands next to ryo and ryo tells him that he wishes he was there for his brother more. That he regrets not being there for all those years.
Alexis is stunned as Brier tells her this story. Than Vlaon, Noah, and Leon wak in and Alexis tells them what Brier told her. They ask Brier what happened and he tells them that he thought that the door and the chest opened simultaneously and that openning either one would cause the ground around them to become unstable. Valon syas than that they had better get some metal helmets than. Brier than snaps at him and tells him that this isnt a laughing matter. Than he flashes back to when Dimitrious gave him the food. They told him to flee quick as the door still being opened was still causing the room to cave in. He took the food and said thanks. Than just before he left Adan siad that his true name is Adam Rhodes and his sister is in the town above. He asks Brier to tell her not to worry. The door than closes and Brier begins what would be a long struggle in the catacombs which would last 50 days. When Alexis hears this she freezes and tells him that he must be mistaken. But Brier says no that he saw the resemblance the moment he saw her. The adam he knew was Alexis's brother. Alexis nearly faints but is helped to a chair by Valon. She says "oh my gosh, I cant believe it. Hes really alive." Brier tells her that he cant be sure of that. But she says" No I still feel his soul in this world" Valon tells her "well that settles it mate, we are gonna bist that bloody door open" Brier tells them that if they are gonna do that, than he is coming. Valon says that they dont want him to go back down there because it would be too hard for him to see it again after spending 50 days there. But he says that they need him, because he knows the combination to open the chest and therefore, the door. EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED....

Ill update this in a month when new eps air. Join me for a special Q&A.

Lily
March 2nd, 2006, 03:49 PM
Do not advertise. Also, does this fic have anything to do with Pokemon, let alone have a standard format? All you're basically doing is summarizing each 'episode,' which technically isn't considered a proper fanfiction...only a summary. o_o Remember that this is a Pokemon fanfiction forum. All other non-related writing goes in Other Writing. *moves*

Jirachi-master
March 2nd, 2006, 06:26 PM
Do not advertise. Also, does this fic have anything to do with Pokemon, let alone have a standard format? All you're basically doing is summarizing each 'episode,' which technically isn't considered a proper fanfiction...only a summary. o_o Remember that this is a Pokemon fanfiction forum. All other non-related writing goes in Other Writing. *moves*

SORRY, I thought I put it in other writing. And Summries work just fine. Especially in the later episodes. Ive been getting plenty of good ratings. So please instead of critisizing how its composed, tell me how the story is.

Jirachi-master
March 4th, 2006, 05:39 PM
Id just thought that Id post a notice to all those who would like to find out more about this series. I will be doing a Q&A in a chatroom every Wednesday from now til the end of March. If you would like to aska question in the Q&A, Pm me for the adress Thank You.

oni flygon
March 4th, 2006, 07:32 PM
So please instead of critisizing how its composed, tell me how the story is.
Okay, fine... =D


The fact that you only make summaries for your story takes you away from the basic parts of prose such as diction, description, character development, etc. Of course you will fail to amaze such readers like Lily or I and you will attract the attention of superficial readers.

Now on to the main part.

The fact that this was proabably typed in a reply box makes spelling and grammar errors present. Also, as I've mentioned, your summary style story is quite bland, lacking the most important details of description (what does your character look like, how are the actions happening, etc).

Your story lacks detail in the plot and you just make me go "What" as I don't know what you're talking about most of the time. Well, your plot lacks a backbone to it (an explanation, perhaps) or maybe a background to the current story.

Also, your chapters are quite short and the lack of dialogue in the first chapters and the fact that it's not separated in paragraphs make it a tedious read.

Try to read the "Advice in Writing" thread in this forum or maybe the "Advanced Writing Guide" in the Pokemon Fanfiction Forum. It'll help you. =D

Jirachi-master
March 5th, 2006, 04:22 AM
Okay, fine... =D


The fact that you only make summaries for your story takes you away from the basic parts of prose such as diction, description, character development, etc. Of course you will fail to amaze such readers like Lily or I and you will attract the attention of superficial readers.

Now on to the main part.

The fact that this was proabably typed in a reply box makes spelling and grammar errors present. Also, as I've mentioned, your summary style story is quite bland, lacking the most important details of description (what does your character look like, how are the actions happening, etc).

Your story lacks detail in the plot and you just make me go "What" as I don't know what you're talking about most of the time. Well, your plot lacks a backbone to it (an explanation, perhaps) or maybe a background to the current story.

Also, your chapters are quite short and the lack of dialogue in the first chapters and the fact that it's not separated in paragraphs make it a tedious read.

Try to read the "Advice in Writing" thread in this forum or maybe the "Advanced Writing Guide" in the Pokemon Fanfiction Forum. It'll help you. =D




I said I copied this and the first chapters were written in a rush. I forgot to post all my hype about this. The characters are characters from other anime and manga in a different situation. I feel writting a script would make too many details. And the later chapters are not that short. And of course you have to pay attention in every episode for more clue's. Anyway, a kid can read this and many do and praise my brilliant imagination. Hey grown people aint gonna understand it. Cause teens are the stars. LOL But, at least I know I cant impress everybody(mainly mods) so whatever, Ill just have to make it a boring script with so many details that people say, "hey wait why do I care about the clothes everyone;s wearing?" like I said, these characters are characters from other anime or manga in a different story looking exactly the same. Well your entitled to your opinion but summries can be very good. Especially since Im being VERY discriptive. But remember if your saying WHAT? Chances are you wernt paying attention in previous episodes.

Jirachi-master
March 16th, 2006, 04:42 AM
I just thought I would let any fans there may be know that a new episode is gonna air in Two weeks. One week ahead of scedule. So anyone who likes this prepare yourself.

Jirachi-master
March 28th, 2006, 04:03 AM
Ok heres a new episode. Ill post it here early.



Episode 21: Takeover(AKA You and Me)


A Leon-centric episode




Leon awoke and flashes back to 3 years prior. He awoke
to the crisp morning wind. He went down his stairs to get breakfast
only to find his older brother Lloyd standing there waiting for him. He
told his brother that he now had control over the family funds and that
he was throwing Leon off the premises to cut costs. Back to the present
Leon overhears Valon tell Noah that he only wants to take Brier with
them. He says that he doesnt think that Leon is ready to explore the
catacombs. Leon storms in and bashes Valon telling him that he is wrong and
that he has every right to explore the catacombs because he found it.
But Valon says since hes in charge that Leon would have to stay behind.
Meanwhile Ryo still sulks about Sho and still feels guilty that there
is nothing that he can do to help him. Leon gets annoyed and decides to
head down to the basement of the East appartment complex. It just so
happens that Alister was down there organizing the stores of the celler.
Leon than flashes back to after he was thrown out. He had nothing more
than the clothes on his back. He went in ad out of apprentice jobs but
his brother tracked him down and began taking over every place he
worked. He finally got up the courage to confront his brother one day and
asked him why he couldnt let him live his life. His brother answered that
because he was ordered to do so. Leon asks who was ordering his brother
as his brother had nobody ahead of him. His brother replied that he was
a member of a colt called Eon, and that his boss was named Ganner and
that he demanded that Leon was a threat to his plans and that he must
die. So Lloys had his goons chase his brother into the Alleys. Back to
the present, Leon confesses his darkest secrets to alister in a moment of
weakness. He also states that he feels useless. Alister comforts him
but he ust gets up and runs away. He accidently knocks over a stack of
boxes in front of a wall. Than he and Alister unexoectantly see a door
behind where te boxxes were. Leon sees that it simply has one lock on it
and Alister easily picks it. Alister warns Leon that it may be a trap
but Leon(still angry at not being able to go along with Valon) says that
he'll take his chances. Meanwhile, Valon, Noah, and Brier bit a
temporary farewell to their fellow survivors. Although some stay in their
rooms, over 40 of the survivors see them off as they head into the
catacombs to uncover the mystery of them. As Ken listens to a CD on his
headphones Alexis plants a kiss on Valon and tells him to be careful. Valon
looks for alister but is disappointed not to see his friend. Ryo wishes
Valon luck and tells him that if he dies, hed kil him. Valon, Noah, and
Brier than descend into the catacombs and begin their long journey.
Leon that finally flashes back to being on the run from his brother's
goons. After countless hours of fleeing he trips and is caught by his
brother's goons. They take him to a secluded room and tie a rope to the
ceiling. They place a chair under it and stand the weakened Leon on top of
it. They than kick the chair away and leave him. Leon although his body
quickly begins to die his will and rage towards revenge cause hi, to
snap the ropes freeing himself in the nick of time. He vows revenge
towards his brother and the colt who put him up to this. Leon walks out of
the alley with a renewed sense of purpose. Back to the present, Leon and
Alister walk through the door and shine a flashlight on its contents.
They see that its a lab filled with various chemicals. They than proceed
further into the room and suddenly, they are bombarded with bright
stagelights shined directly at them. EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

Jirachi-master
April 5th, 2006, 12:25 PM
Episode 22: Battle Zone


An Alister-centric episode



Alister and Leon have just discovered a secret room and have just been shined upon with spotlights. Alister manages to cover his eyes long enough to see that it was nothing more than an alarm. He turns off the lights and flicks on a regular light. He and Leon see that it is an abandoned lab with a few potions remaining. Alister than flashes back to 4 months into the lockdown on his town that was practicly destroyed. He saught refuge with another kid his age named Aaron. He and Aaron evaded ambush after ambush by Ganner. But as the months passed, hope of escaping declined. Than Aaron suggested that they attempt an escape that night. Back to the present, Alister and Leon explore the lab they are in they examine the potions and pour them onto the table. The table immedietly turns to steel on the area it was poured on. Alister immedietly relizes that this is how Ganner was able to survive being shot. Meanwhile, Ken and Ririko have an fun filled afternoon with games and snacks. Ken tells ririko that he thinks that he feels something for her. Across the hall, Chazz and Kelly watch a DVD and he tells her that he thinks that Ganner has hidden something in the apartment buildings. That he knows that there is something that he is destined to find. Back to Alister and Leon, the various potions in the lab each have different and unique abilities but they wonder why Ganner would just leave them lying around. Suddenly the door they came through shuts and locks leaving them trapped inside. Alister than flashes back to the night when he and Aaron attempted to escape their town. Alister asks Aaaron why Ganner wants everyone in the town dead and he says that he overheard one of the soldiers saying that he wanted it to stop some sort of Prophacy. But Aaron doesnt really believe what he heard but alister does seem to take it to heart. They finally come to a seemingly unguarded gate only to trigger an alarm that sends hundreds of soldiers their way. Back to the present, Alister and Leon search the room for another possible way out. They find a door but it is bolted shut. They believe that there is no way out and that it is over but alister than gets an idea that perhaps one of the potions can help break down the door. Meanwhie, ken and Ririko continue their afternoon of fun, when, just like before, they get a mysterious tellephone call. Like last time, all they hear is static. But than Ken hears a faint voice but cant make it out. Than the caller hangs up. Meanehile, Ryo wonders where Ganner couldve stashed Sho. Than he decides to use the computer to see if it would hold any clues. Elsewhere, Sho is sulking a his cell and calls out for Jaden and Ryo. Suddenly Ganner comes in nd tells him that he gave Sho books and a labtop for a reason, to keep him from disturbing the members of the colt. He suggests to Sho that he use them before he gets too annoyed. But he tells Sho to take comfort in the fact that he wont be there much longer. Than Ganner, leaves the room and sits down in front of a compuuter of his own. Meanwhile, Leon Alister and Leon desperatly seek a way to use the potions to get out. Alister flashes back to when he and Aaron triggered the alarm. As the sound of soldiers approaches, Aaron helps bust a hole in the gate just big enough for them to get through, suddenly a bullet strkes Aaron's back and hits him in his his spine knocking him to the ground. Aliste rtries to stop the bleeding but Aaron insists that he get away while he can. He tells alister that there is no way for them both to go so he orders alister, if he values their friendship to leave. Alister, reluctantly flees just as the soldiers arrive. Alister finally breaks free of the cuty but promises that he will be back one day and that he will make sure that Ganner is nothing more than a carcuss after he gets through with him. Back to the present, alister and Leon combine potions until they finaly get one that seems to weaken a structure. they pray that it will help them escape. Meanwhile, Ryo has searched the web looking for some kind of clue reguarding his brother, Ganner, or Eon(the name of the colt) But he finds nothing until an he recieves an email from an email address that does not belong to one of the survivors. He opens it and reads " I HAVE SHO, IF YOU WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN, ALIVE, THAN YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY. I WILL CONTACT YOU AGAIN IN TWO DAYS AT WHICH TIME, I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR INSTRUCTIONS. ALSO, YOUR OTHER BROTHER IS ALSO NOT SAFE. IF YOU EVER WANT TO MEET YOUR LONG LOST BROTHER YOU WILL NOT RESIST ME AT ALL. BREAK THE RULES AND NOT ONLY WILL SHO BE KILLED, BUT YOUR LONG LOST FRATERNAL TWIN WILL BE AS WELL. The letter is signed, GANNER. Ryo reads in horror knowing that Ganner is holding the fate of both his brothers in his hands. He says "Alrught Ganner, if you want to play rough, things'll get rough." EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

Jirachi-master
April 12th, 2006, 04:11 AM
Episode 23: In the Line of Fire


A ryo-centric episode




Ryo looks in horror at the screen as he reads the terrifying note sent by Ganner. Jaden who has since seen the terrifying email asks ryo what hes gonna do. Ryo tells him that he'll wait for Ganner to get back to him and than He'll go and get his brother. Jaden tells Ryo that it was obviously a trap. Ryo says that he knows that. BUT, that he plans to be the one to trap Ganner. Jaden asks him, "Well bud, he apparently lured each one of us here for a reason. For some twisted game hes playing. Since he has YOUR brother and he contacted you, I expect he is prpared for anything you may throw at him and I dont think hes gonna be so easy to trap" ryo replies with "My brother's life is on the line, and if I have to go through Ganner to get him back safly, Ill so it. Even if I have to fight the devil himself, I will get my brother back." Jaden tells him "You may just be doing that" Ryo flashes back to after Sho had shot him. He walked away and secretly escaped one of the intact buildings on the edge of town. He opened the door and went in and was welcomed by Ganner. Ganner had his cult members patch up Ryo's injury AND Ganner tells him, "well done" Ryo tells him that he is not happy about having to do that to his brother. Ganner tells him that he has to suck it up, that he is a member of the cult that will rock the world and that he cant be worried about his brother. Ganner tells him that "If this brother becomes too much of a indrance to this cult, Eon(the cult's name) will have to have him exterminated. Back in the present, Alexis sits in her room and thinks about Valon. She secretly wonders if he is safe. She prays for his safty and says that she cant lose him. MEanwhile, Kelly comes to see Ririko and Ken. When she comes in they appear very troubled. Than Ken tells her that someone has been calling them but not saying much. He tells her that it could be a prank by another survivor but he thinks its more than that. Suddenly, Chazz walks in and tells him that it is more than that. He says "thats Eon's style, to keep you in the dark while they put their plan into motion. Whatever the reason they're specificly targeting you, you gotta take the proper procautions." Ken asks what those are. Chazz tan says "this" and pulls out a small device. Meanwhile, Ryo waits for Ganner to reply to him a and than he gets another email ordering him to come to the end of town, in the cult hideout he came to after he was shot. Ryo takes out a gun and runs out of the room. Jaden runs after him and tells him that he is coming with him. Ryo tells him that he would regret it if he slowed him down. Ryo than flashes back to when his wound was healing. He asked Ganner if they could leave Sho out of his plans. Ganner snaps at him and says "NO YOU FOOL! If he wont join us he must die. He cannot live. Just as YOU cannot live if you leave the cult." Ryo asked "what do you mean?" Ganner tells him that "You joined is cult to get certain info from me on your long lost twin. Because I know who he is. Funny, for a twin, he looks nothing like you. But anyway, you joined me for info but did you think that was the only reason i had you join? You are one of those who I set out to destroy." Ryo says "you mean?" And Ganner interupts him and says "Yes, you are nothing more than pawn in my plan. I only asked you to join so I didnt have to kill you because you would be better served working for me than dead." Back to the present, Ryo approached the location Ganner tod him to come to and Yells out "GANNER, I KNOW YOUR HERE, SHOW YOURSELF" Meanwhile Chazz attaches the device the device he took out to Ken's phone. He tells him that its a tracker. That whoever calls here, he can tracktheir location. Ken says "cool! but are you sure you cant track them evn if they dont say anything or even if they arnt on the line long?" Chazz says "Of course, I was in that cult of his briefly. And lets just say, I learned a lot there and maybe took a few devices in case they were needed. This thing will let us know exactly who this creep stalking you two is" Ken asks him "But even if we know who he is, what makes you so sure we can stop what hes planning?" Chazz looks at him blankly and says "We cant revent him from doing what hes doing, all we can do is be ready when he comes." Back to Ryo, he continues to call out to Ganner and ordering him to return his brother to him. He again flashes back. He was just sitting alone. Than he says to himself that he wont let his life be controlled. Than he gets up and storms out. Ganner stops him and asks where he was going. Ryo tells him "Im done with your cult. I will not be used as a pawn in your sick little game and neither will my brother. Ill go and protect him and than we will take you down. Your days are numbered Ganner" Than Ganner whispers to him "FINE! Go than, I expected this, But know this, even if you do get accepted bacxk into their little circle of friends, you can never stop me. My plan is going exactly as it should. And when its done, you will be nothing more than a rotting carcus. But dont worry, thats a long way off, and I got some much more hurt planned for every one of you until than. You were one of the few privileged to see my face. But dont reveal my identity or your brother is dead. Everyone will know my name in due time." Than he releases Ryo and than Ryo walk off. Than Ganner throws him some keys to a vehicle and says "Thats faster" Back to the present, Ryo is still screaming for Ganner. Suddenly, it is seen that Ryo is the range of a massive gun, held by Jake. Ryo is directly in his lne of fire. As he prepares to fire, Jaden luckily sees him and shoves ryo to the ground just in time to save him from the bullet. But than Jake comes out of hiding and says "well done Jaden, now instead of killing oth of you behind your back, I get to see your anguished look of death. And I will relish every second of it." Than he picks up his gun and aims t at them. And says "Farewell, fools" EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

Jirachi-master
April 19th, 2006, 03:56 AM
Episode 24- End of the Line

Notes: A Sho-centric episode; this is the latest regular centric episode of season 1. It has been about 58 days since the story started in the time of the series.


Sho awakes in his cell and stares at the research books and the labtop Ganner gave him. He wonders to himself why Ganner would do that. Is there something that Ganner would want him to know but he has to find it on his own? Whatever the reason, Sho can no longer take wondering. He goes to the books and opens one of them up and it has adoption papers for Ryo's twin brother and details on the family he went to. Sho can hardly believe it that Ganner has the answer to the question that has been bothering him for weeks. Sho than flahses back to when he was working at Jake's convienient store. He fashesback to his trip to Merrytown, when Jake offered to make him a fll partner in his small business. Sho asked why they were going to this place? Jake tells him that this place isnt really called Merrytown.He says "It just sounds nice so it attracts peoples attention. They come to a nice sounding place without doing any research. You see sho, most people in this world have never heard of the dark secrets of Merrytown. The name itself has many dark tales behind it but since the original name of this town isnt known to many and sounds kinda stupid, the town mayor still uses Merrytown as its name so that the past of this city does not prevent his "plans for the future" Sho than asks him why they need to go there. Jake tells him "dont worry, it IS just business and I know that Our plans will not be halted by any name" BAck to the present, Jake is holding a gun to ryo and Jaden, when suddenly Jaden jumps up and wrestles the gun away from Jake only to be shot from behind with a drugged dart that immedietly puts him to sleep. Ryo looks to see how shot the dart and sees none other than Ganner. Ganner tells Jake to not kill them yet but to take them as prisioners. Jake obeys and knocks ryo out. He awakes in a locked room in wht appears to be a small cabin. Than Ryo sees Ganner outside his room looking in. Than he comes in. Ganner tells him that he is willing to make a deal with Ryo. That if he returns to work for him, he will release his brother unharmed. But if he doesnt, he will put a bullet in his brother's head within the hour. Jaden(who was still presumed to be knocked out) suddenly jumps up and tries to attack Ganner but is stopped without effort by Ganner. jaden tells him that he shouldnt do it. That Ganner cannot be trusted. EVER! Ganner tell Jaden "You are a very foolish moron Jaden. DO you not relize that Sho's life rests in my hands. All I demand to release him is that Ryo join me again." Jaden replies "trust YOU? The man who apparently is responsible for the misery of everyone here? The man who seems to have no heart and is apparently trying to screw with out brains? Yes, the smartest thing to do with lives on the line, is trust a snake like you." Ryo interrupts them and says "Jaden enough, Ill meet his demands. I have no other choice, I cannot play god with my brother's life" Jaden looks on in dismay as he knows Ryo is about to make an irreversable mistake. Meanwhile, Sho opens up the laptop and to his surprise, he finds all these documents about his brother. He searches for about 2 hoursbut he finds nothing. Than he sees a file on the desktop that says "End of the Line". Sho clicks on it and he flashes back to when he got off the plane in Merrytown. Jake rented a hotel room for the two. Than he gets a call and when he gets off, he tells Sho, that he has to pospone Sho's promotion since something necessary to make him co-partner in his business was not yet ready but promises that it would be tomorrow. He tells Sho to wait in a diner. He gives Sho some money to order something and tells him he'll be back in no more than an hour. Jake walks off and Sho enters the resturaunt. Back to the present, Sho clicks on the icon and the window that pops up is filled with 4 more icons. Sho tries three of them but neither lead to what hes looking for. Than he goes to click for the 4th icon but hesitates. He knows that if the info he seeks is in there and if it is correct, that his life would NEVER be the same. Meanewhile, Ryo prepares to join Ganner again to gain his brother's freedom. But than Jaden jumps Ganner throws him to the ground. He yells at Ryo to go. That he can handle him. He tells him "I knows what it is like to lose a brother and I dont want you to go through the same thing because the pain is too great for anyone with a soul to bear" Ryo touched by Jaden's words, runs out of the house and vows tp ot let jaden's sacrifice be in vain. Meanwhile Jaden finally stops fighting ganner and Ganner pulls him up by his neck and tells him that he will die for his interfierance. Than he calls Jake in, he tells him " Sit outside this door and make sure he doesnt try anything funny. I have more improtant priorities right now. But when I give the order, kill him. and make sure he suffers beyond reason.' Jake agrees and Ganner walks out. Meanwhile Sho cannot bring himself to open the file for fear of what may be inside. He flashes back to after he entered the diner, he sat at the front desk and ordered a small lunch. Than the guy next to him moves over a bench. he akss him how he was doing. Sho was surprised to see a kid not much older than him alone in this place. Sho tells him that he was doing fine. They talked as they ate thir lunches. When they were done, the kid said he has to go. Than the kid said he has to go, the kid said "hey dude, mind telling me your name?" Sho replied "Im Sho, Sho Truesdale, and you are?" The kid replied "My name? Its Jaden, just Jaden"(yes its the same Jaden) Sho says "well I guess Ill see you around Jaden" Jaden replies "yeah maybe, later sho" and he walk out of te restaurant not knowing that they were to awaken after a nuclear attack days later. Back to the present, Sho finally opens up the file and sees whats inside. He scrolls to the bottom of the page and immedietly he closes the lid. He tells himself "No, no. It cant be. How could I NOT have known. This must be some trick by Ganner. But than again, he is the right age. Ryo is about 4 years older than me this kid is the same age, I mean, the only kid I ever got close with HERE was Jaden so I can see why I didnt know because I never knew him. I guess if I ever get out of here, i can start. heh, what do you know, I finally know who my brother is!" EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

Emma
April 19th, 2006, 05:42 AM
Wow zillion posting X_X, Well, There are still grammar errors and spelling mistakes. At some points i'm confused about the story and a tiny bit more description. I'm poo at stories but I just noticed a few of the errors ^^ Apart from that it's ok. Oh, and instead of jumbling all the text in one big block, could you make them into paragraphs ? I lost my place alot if I looked away xD

Jirachi-master
April 26th, 2006, 11:42 AM
Jake-centric episode


Notes:This will be a special composed entirly of Jake's past.





Jake awoke on a saturday morning. He ate showered, ate breakfast, and went down to open his family's small convenient store. The days went as usual, costomers came and went and products arrived and were sold. Little did Jake know that today he would recieve a costomer like no other.


It was about 11 AM when the door opened to Jake's family store. A man walked in and asked if Jake was intrested in joining a little "organization" he ran. Jake told him to get the heck out or he would call the police. The man than quietly left and said "My anme is Ganner and you WILL join me, whether or not you want to) Ganner than walked out and Jake continued with his day. THe enxt week, he was at the mall with his mother. He left her for a bit shop around on his own. He walked into a music store. He was there about 10 minutes when a hand snuck up from behind him and drugged hi and dragged him off. When Jake awoke, he is was tied to a chair and in a dark room. Ganner walked in and he said that he would give Jake one week to join his cult before he would take manners into his own hands. Jake told him to go to hell. Ganner said "I think you dont fully comprehand your situation. You will get No food or drink, no change of cloths, no restrooms, you will stay on that chair til you join me. You have 1 week in which to decide or I will have to DEAL with you" Than Ganner left jake. Jake stayed tied to that vhair for 5 days. Than Ganner came in again. He asked Jake is he had any change or heart and Jake said "Yes, I will join you if you just get me out of here" Ganner untied him but than Jakebroke free and tried to run but Ganner Grabbed him by his arm and swung him in the air and slammed him on the ground. He said "for this, you will not get the full7 days I promised you, you WILL join me NOW." Jake asked him, "Why? Why me? Why are you doing this to me?" Ganner answered "Because you are ONE OF THEM, One of them who has an unknown destiny to stop me. But YOU are one of those destined to do something BIG to bring me down. So i cant have you alive if you dont join me, YOU WILL JOIN ME, whether or not you want to." Jake said "you wish, I wouldnt join you if it meant killing me because I will not kill someone again. It hurt enough the first time and that was only an accident so I could never murder someone in cold blood" GAnner replied " Who ever said youd be requiered to KILL someone?" And Jake answered " Oh comeon, I can see right through you, you are nothing but an evil nutjob and I refuse to be PART OF YOUR SCHEME" At this ganner took out a needle and stabbed Jake's chest with it. Jake suddenly felt dizzy. He asked Ganner "what the heck is this, what did you give me?" Ganner answered "Just something that will change your mind about joining me" Than Jake passed out and Ganner took him out of the room. JAke awoke again in a normal bedroom and he felt much better than he did before, he walked out of his room and he said to Ganner "Im ready to join your cult" Ganner asked him "I thought you could never kill again, that it hurt too much" Jake answered "You know as well as I that I am not the same person I was a few days ago when i said that. Im different now, but I do have 1 question for you, how ddi you manage to create comething that literally can change now so much?" Ganner said "Heh, thats something that only I know. But trust me young Jake, you will know everything in due time" Ganner told Jake to go down to the basment of building to meet his fellow cult members. When Jake walked out, Ganner said to himself "heh, to think of where I was once and where I am today. But I am finally going to fulfill my destiny, I will fulfill my destiny to rebuild this world, and those destined to join me that refuse will fulfill their destiny, TO DIE" EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

JX Valentine
April 26th, 2006, 04:31 PM
Okay, I couldn't get past the first episode. Seriously. Your proofreading skills need work, and beyond that, your insistence on using "summary formats" (which isn't even true storytelling because it's, quite frankly, a half-effort job) leaves out a lot of details that I think need to be covered. For example, you don't establish the setting, what the characters look like, backstory, or anything of that sort. Instead, we're fed with just facts. How am I supposed to be interested in something like that?

To be specific, by the time I finished reading the first episode, I had these questions in mind:
- What is Merrytown City like? What does it look like after the attack? Are there bodies everywhere? Is it in ruins?
- What do the characters look like? How do they act?
- Do the three suspicious survivors interact with each other?
- What does Sho do that makes him look like he recognizes one of them?
- How do the characters think? What do they think?
- After Sho sees the three, then you start talking about "they." Who are "they"? Sho and someone else or the three?
- What do the characters do to survive?
- What do you mean by "next move"?

I think your problem is that you're not aware of what you're actually writing. When you're done writing, rather than post it, save it for at least twenty-four hours and read it again. By letting your story cool off, you should be able to see it from the readers' eyes, rather than from your eyes. You may be able to understand then that we're not mind readers. We can't begin to comprehend the world of your story or what's happening within it until you write it out for us in detail. We can't relate to your characters until you actually bring them to life through words.

Essentially, your plot summaries mean very little to us because you refuse to actually get into the story. Ergo, you're not doing a great job as a writer.

You've yet to give me one good reason why I should read on, and judging by the fact that I only see blocks of text beyond this point, I really don't see that reason.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to give this my lowest rating. I really don't know who praised you before, but I'm going to have to say that this won't fly as a story. It might have potential in a storyline, but you're seriously killing it by refusing to actually tell the story. It's one thing to come up with ideas, but the real trick in writing is actually getting it down on paper. Take your time, go back, and write out the episodes (i.e. don't rush to post), and you might find a way to make this work. Might.

Strawberry Delcatty
April 26th, 2006, 05:05 PM
I'd say my opinion, but everyone else have said it already, so I might as well leave it at this:

I'm surprised this thread isn't locked.

Anyway, read (and preferrably MEMORIZE) the guides that Akinari mentioned.

Jirachi-master
April 27th, 2006, 03:41 AM
Okay, I couldn't get past the first episode. Seriously. Your proofreading skills need work, and beyond that, your insistence on using "summary formats" (which isn't even true storytelling because it's, quite frankly, a half-effort job) leaves out a lot of details that I think need to be covered. For example, you don't establish the setting, what the characters look like, backstory, or anything of that sort. Instead, we're fed with just facts. How am I supposed to be interested in something like that?

To be specific, by the time I finished reading the first episode, I had these questions in mind:
- What is Merrytown City like? What does it look like after the attack? Are there bodies everywhere? Is it in ruins?
- What do the characters look like? How do they act?
- Do the three suspicious survivors interact with each other?
- What does Sho do that makes him look like he recognizes one of them?
- How do the characters think? What do they think?
- After Sho sees the three, then you start talking about "they." Who are "they"? Sho and someone else or the three?
- What do the characters do to survive?
- What do you mean by "next move"?

I think your problem is that you're not aware of what you're actually writing. When you're done writing, rather than post it, save it for at least twenty-four hours and read it again. By letting your story cool off, you should be able to see it from the readers' eyes, rather than from your eyes. You may be able to understand then that we're not mind readers. We can't begin to comprehend the world of your story or what's happening within it until you write it out for us in detail. We can't relate to your characters until you actually bring them to life through words.

Essentially, your plot summaries mean very little to us because you refuse to actually get into the story. Ergo, you're not doing a great job as a writer.

You've yet to give me one good reason why I should read on, and judging by the fact that I only see blocks of text beyond this point, I really don't see that reason.

Sorry, but I'm going to have to give this my lowest rating. I really don't know who praised you before, but I'm going to have to say that this won't fly as a story. It might have potential in a storyline, but you're seriously killing it by refusing to actually tell the story. It's one thing to come up with ideas, but the real trick in writing is actually getting it down on paper. Take your time, go back, and write out the episodes (i.e. don't rush to post), and you might find a way to make this work. Might.


seriously, I would say maybe your right if you actually read more. Since you only read the first and weakest written episode, I know you actually cant judge my story. A lot of those things are explained in later episodes. Also, what the characters do to surviven is revealed as the story progresses. I admit I totally sucked at first, but by the mid-season, the story overlapped the grammer. Oh and what do you by sotry form? SCRIPT? Your relize that simply writing a dialogue makes you LOSE about half the story? O well, like I said, had you actually read past the 1st episode, I would take you more seriously but if you didnt even read the first episode, than how can I seriouslt take you seriously since at current time, you read 1/25 of the series? This thread can be locked without me complaining on
June 1 cause than Ill be done with this thread and it's be pointless to keep it open all fall. Like I said, if you dont even read the WHOLE series, than you cant really give me advice based on the first series. I got much better around episode 13. So read on.

Jirachi-master
April 27th, 2006, 04:16 AM
The NEW EXTENDED version of episode 1 is right here. Featuring deleted scenes cut from the original. Catch a few hidden deatails you never saw before. Episodes 1-10 will slowly but surly have NEW EXTENDED VERSIONS up over the coarse of the week. Enjoy.



Episode 1: The dawn of tomorrow (aka pilot episode)

On a seemingly peaceful day 50 survivors wake up after surviving an attack on Merrytown city. They look in horror as they stare at the bodies of those killed in the attack. 9 of these survivors form a special bond. They are Jaden Yuki, Sho Treusdale, Alexis Rhodes, Ken Kazaki, Ririko Yashio, Kelly Kaoro, Leo Enkengon, Sherry Enkengon, and Jake Misawa. Jaden awoke first and than Sho and Alexis and than the rest began to awake. They prayed that someone would find them but nobody did for hours. When a day passes without any sign of help they decide to bury the dead. The dead numbered over 250 but they worked together to bury them in a mass grave in a small field in the town. However, they are suspicious of three surviors, Chazz Princeton, Ryo Truesdale and Velon Chronos. They not only refuse to help with the burials but refuse to converse with anyone outside of themselves. People begin to worry that they had something to do with the attacks and stay clear of them. The survivors ration what little food they can find hoping that help was on the way but by the second day, their hopes greatly diminished. on the morning of their 3rd day, the intruders than head for the alleys leaving everyone wondering about their TRUE motives.




So Sho and Yuki who have developed an extra special bond follow the intruders. WHen Sho sees them up close he pulls back as if he knew one of them.(this wil be explained soon) they stay in the shadows so not to be seen. And they overhear that the attack went exactly as planned and that everything they need is within their grasps. They than flee and report this to their other fellow survivors. when the three return Yuki wonders what their next move is and what theirs should be. As the other survivors clean up the mess and begin taking refuge in two unscathed apartment buildings, Jaden heads in, as he heads in, he feels a nostalgic wave he turns around but nobody is there except some fellow survivors. He shrugs it off and goes inside but little does he know that this has been no ordinary attack and these are no ordinary villians. EXTERMINATION: TO BE CONTINUED...

Strawberry Delcatty
April 27th, 2006, 09:26 AM
seriously, I would say maybe your right if you actually read more. Since you only read the first and weakest written episode, I know you actually cant judge my story. A lot of those things are explained in later episodes. Also, what the characters do to surviven is revealed as the story progresses. I admit I totally sucked at first, but by the mid-season, the story overlapped the grammer. Oh and what do you by sotry form? SCRIPT? Your relize that simply writing a dialogue makes you LOSE about half the story? O well, like I said, had you actually read past the 1st episode, I would take you more seriously but if you didnt even read the first episode, than how can I seriouslt take you seriously since at current time, you read 1/25 of the series? This thread can be locked without me complaining on
June 1 cause than Ill be done with this thread and it's be pointless to keep it open all fall. Like I said, if you dont even read the WHOLE series, than you cant really give me advice based on the first series. I got much better around episode 13. So read on.
Unfortunately, due to the way you ignore our advice and insist on writing this way, we CAN'T (and don't want to) read on.

If that's the way it's going to be, it's your loss.

*reports thread*

Lily
April 27th, 2006, 09:35 AM
..Didn't I tell you not to summarize? x_x

seriously, I would say maybe your right if you actually read more. Since you only read the first and weakest written episode, I know you actually cant judge my story. A lot of those things are explained in later episodes. Also, what the characters do to surviven is revealed as the story progresses. I admit I totally sucked at first, but by the mid-season, the story overlapped the grammer. Oh and what do you by sotry form? SCRIPT? Your relize that simply writing a dialogue makes you LOSE about half the story? O well, like I said, had you actually read past the 1st episode, I would take you more seriously but if you didnt even read the first episode, than how can I seriouslt take you seriously since at current time, you read 1/25 of the series? This thread can be locked without me complaining on
June 1 cause than Ill be done with this thread and it's be pointless to keep it open all fall. Like I said, if you dont even read the WHOLE series, than you cant really give me advice based on the first series. I got much better around episode 13. So read on.

No...just no. You can't possibly blame Kazeto Tamashii for not reading more when clearly your first episode might as well epitomize the rest of them. And yes, she can judge your story because she's a reviewer. If she finds any problems with the first part, then you might as well listen. I apologize if she offended you by only reading only one episode, but as far as I'm concerned, all of them need work (roughly skimming). =/

Also, there's a thing called paragraphs. ._.;

Strawberry Delcatty, ignoring one's reviews doesn't constitute a right to close threads, lest the story is truly appalling. I think this is borderline, but we'll just wait and see for now.

Jirachi-master
April 27th, 2006, 11:28 AM
Geeez, listen, your own words tell me why I shouldnt listen to you. You either scim or havnt read it all. SO shes judging this story but the FIRST episode. BAsicly shes ASSUMING its bad by its first episode. I dont like that. Yes I will except any and all advice and consider it deeply. PROVIDED, that they at least do me the courtesy of reading the whole thing. If you are going to post a review, than read the whole thing. If you dont want to read it, than simply do not read it. Id rather you not read it than critisize it by its first episode. Lots of people have read this and have had NO problem understanding a thing and they still enjoy it. And what would you have me do? Write a script that basicly is all Dialugue? This isnt meant to be a dialougue. When I started to turn it into one, the site where I officially post this, the ratings dropped. This isnt some series where each episode is a different story. This is a continuing story and if you are confused, it MAY be because you havnt been paying enough attention or have not at all even read it all. Yes, Ill listen to anyone's suuggestions but if you have only read the first episode(and not even taken the time to read the extended version just recently added) and this isnt meant to be read as a novel. The fact that you have read just 1 episode and critisize the whole series really does not give me much of a reason to take what you say seriously. She may be a reviewer but in order to give a proper review, you must READ THE STORY and not just part of it. Its like reading a novel and basicly condemning the book because the first chapter was a snooze-fest. If you dont like this story, than just dont read it. If you want to give me a suggestion, than make sure you have read the whole story first. Imagine if someone who reviews movies watched the first 10 minutes and than gave his review. If you have any questions, Id gladly answer. Im hearing great things about this series. Almost everyone whp has taken th time to read it through has eventulally gotten intrested. So please, it is unfair to me as a writter to have my series judged when the reader only read the first episode.

JX Valentine
April 27th, 2006, 11:55 AM
Geeez, listen, your own words tell me why I shouldnt listen to you. You either scim or havnt read it all. SO shes judging this story but the FIRST episode.

Coming from experience, the prologue and the first chapter are usually meant to grab the reader's attention. It gives them an idea of what to expect by laying the foundation for the future. You can't build a good house on a pile of sludge, so likewise, you can't expect to build up a good story on a bad foundation.

Looking over more of the story, I'll have to say, yes, I don't like it. Your style is, again, distracting. You say you improve, but you really don't. In parts, you actually lose more than you gain by refusing to tell the story correctly, and it's difficult to read when it's nothing but a block of text. You should try actual prose -- narration and that lot, rather than short summaries or script-formatting.

If you want a little bit of proof regarding whether or not I read on, I'll select, at random, chapter eighteen. I'm still not drawn into the work thanks to your lack of details. What does the boy look like? How does everyone feel about the boy? Do they wonder where he came from (other than Valon, who actually asks)? Do they feel suspicious? Sorry for the boy? Inclination to treat him like a son/brother? How does the boy feel? What's the expression on his face? What exactly made Alexis believe Valon? What was the flashback like for Valon? Did it invoke any emotions? If so, which ones? Why is it important that we know the numbers are from Lost? What was the ambiance in the catacombs? Was the air cold and heavy and reeking with death? Did the sound of water droplets falling from the stone ceiling and into a puddle below echo off the dark, empty walls?

See, there's a lot of questions in a lot of chapters you don't cover, so I don't feel anything for your characters, your setting, or your plot. Put simply, you're not doing your job as a storyteller.

Write a script that basicly is all Dialugue? This isnt meant to be a dialougue. When I started to turn it into one, the site where I officially post this, the ratings dropped.

Then start using prose instead. You know. Narration. Dialogue in quotes. Details. Non-script-formatting.

This isnt some series where each episode is a different story. This is a continuing story and if you are confused, it MAY be because you havnt been paying enough attention or have not at all even read it all.

Or because you won't give us enough details to see the world you've created or to get into the heads of the characters or to even see what the characters look like. It's all fine and dandy that they're from different series, but some of us haven't seen some series and would like a nice description of who's who.

Ergo, you're still getting my lowest rating, grammar and your aversion to paragraphs aside. You may want a beta reader for that, by the way.

Jirachi-master
April 27th, 2006, 12:09 PM
Coming from experience, the prologue and the first chapter are usually meant to grab the reader's attention. It gives them an idea of what to expect by laying the foundation for the future. You can't build a good house on a pile of sludge, so likewise, you can't expect to build up a good story on a bad foundation.

Looking over more of the story, I'll have to say, yes, I don't like it. Your style is, again, distracting. You say you improve, but you really don't. In parts, you actually lose more than you gain by refusing to tell the story correctly, and it's difficult to read when it's nothing but a block of text. You should try actual prose -- narration and that lot, rather than short summaries or script-formatting.

If you want a little bit of proof regarding whether or not I read on, I'll select, at random, chapter eighteen. I'm still not drawn into the work thanks to your lack of details. What does the boy look like? How does everyone feel about the boy? Do they wonder where he came from (other than Valon, who actually asks)? Do they feel suspicious? Sorry for the boy? Inclination to treat him like a son/brother? How does the boy feel? What's the expression on his face? What exactly made Alexis believe Valon? What was the flashback like for Valon? Did it invoke any emotions? If so, which ones? Why is it important that we know the numbers are from Lost? What was the ambiance in the catacombs? Was the air cold and heavy and reeking with death? Did the sound of water droplets falling from the stone ceiling and into a puddle below echo off the dark, empty walls?

See, there's a lot of questions in a lot of chapters you don't cover, so I don't feel anything for your characters, your setting, or your plot. Put simply, you're not doing your job as a storyteller.



Then start using prose instead. You know. Narration. Dialogue in quotes. Details. Non-script-formatting.



Or because you won't give us enough details to see the world you've created or to get into the heads of the characters or to even see what the characters look like. It's all fine and dandy that they're from different series, but some of us haven't seen some series and would like a nice description of who's who.

Ergo, you're still getting my lowest rating, grammar and your aversion to paragraphs aside. You may want a beta reader for that, by the way.


If you dont like it, than dont read it. Thats all I can say. I find details such as facial expressions are pointless. I really dont care what you suggest anymore. Why must you get all these details? O well, you dont like it, I dont care. You cant please everyone. Maybe I should give only details and no story at all. It isnt my problem if you cant grasp the detail of the story. This story leaves a lot up to your imagination(o yeah, thats kinda part of reading this story) I dont give discriptions of the characters in the story for 1, its kinda hard when this is supposed to be a tv show base, 2 I dont intend to keep these characters if this ever did become a tv show and i dont think it matters. All I can say is that Sho is a 4 foot tall shrimp. Other than that, just use logic to determine the characters looks. I think that since this isnt yet a TV series. that its better for readers to use their immaginationt to fill in the details. Judging by the details I DID give throughout the series about these characters, they should figure out the emotions on their own. Also, the numbers were just thrown in there for fun. Thats all the significance they will ever recieve. But if they were to be improtant, whould I really tell you in that episode? But like I said, everyone has their opinion and since you still cannot do anything but bash my series, there is really no further point in discussing this. Nobody is forcing you to read this so dont.





Anyway heres the EXTENDED episode 2

Episode 2: Trial of survival

As the survivors continue to thrive they must resort to other tactics such as eating fruit and veggies in local gardens. They do manage to salvage some of the buildings and even get running water and electricity to two of the apartment buildings. But oddly enough, they discover that all the pantries in the apartments are mysteriously stocked with non-perishables. All the survivors decide to temporarily move into the suites. Since the suites are limited and they need some larger suites for other resources, they decide to double up on some so that no more than 30 suits are lived in. Alexis chooses to stay alone for the time being. When she selects a small suite, she finds a diary on the coffee table but it is oddly enough empty(this will be of importance later on)Of course they keep an eye on the three survivors Jaden and Sho heard talking who have mysteriously moved into a locked suite of one of the appartments. the group learns more about each other such as the fact that Leo and Sherry are brother and sister. As life continues they assume that nobody is coming. They also realize that none of the survivors were resident in the city. They were all tourists. Than suddenly an earthquake hits. Luckily its a light one but it was appearently caused by the suite that our villionous trio are staying in. Jake explains that perhaps they have equipment there that allows to them to create small earthquakes. He says that he was studying equipment such as that prior to the attack. Ken and Jaden become very uneasy after hearing this so they ran up to the suite. They charge up and bang on the door but all they hear is Chronos saying "let the extermination begin" Hearing this convinces them that they were in on the attack and that they may be dealing with more than they first thought. EXTERMINATION: TO BE CONTINUED...

Strawberry Delcatty
April 27th, 2006, 12:32 PM
Strawberry Delcatty, ignoring one's reviews doesn't constitute a right to close threads, lest the story is truly appalling. I think this is borderline, but we'll just wait and see for now.
Okay, then. I will admit that I was over the top there, but still. The author could at least improve.

Geeez, listen, your own words tell me why I shouldnt listen to you. You either scim or havnt read it all. SO shes judging this story but the FIRST episode. BAsicly shes ASSUMING its bad by its first episode. I dont like that. Yes I will except any and all advice and consider it deeply. PROVIDED, that they at least do me the courtesy of reading the whole thing. If you are going to post a review, than read the whole thing. If you dont want to read it, than simply do not read it. Id rather you not read it than critisize it by its first episode. Lots of people have read this and have had NO problem understanding a thing and they still enjoy it. And what would you have me do? Write a script that basicly is all Dialugue? This isnt meant to be a dialougue. When I started to turn it into one, the site where I officially post this, the ratings dropped. This isnt some series where each episode is a different story. This is a continuing story and if you are confused, it MAY be because you havnt been paying enough attention or have not at all even read it all. Yes, Ill listen to anyone's suuggestions but if you have only read the first episode(and not even taken the time to read the extended version just recently added) and this isnt meant to be read as a novel. The fact that you have read just 1 episode and critisize the whole series really does not give me much of a reason to take what you say seriously. She may be a reviewer but in order to give a proper review, you must READ THE STORY and not just part of it. Its like reading a novel and basicly condemning the book because the first chapter was a snooze-fest. If you dont like this story, than just dont read it. If you want to give me a suggestion, than make sure you have read the whole story first. Imagine if someone who reviews movies watched the first 10 minutes and than gave his review. If you have any questions, Id gladly answer. Im hearing great things about this series. Almost everyone whp has taken th time to read it through has eventulally gotten intrested. So please, it is unfair to me as a writter to have my series judged when the reader only read the first episode.
Okay, now you're being egotisical.

Let me tell you something: I learned first hand that having that kind of attitude will get you nowhere, especially if you write so poorly. I had that kind of attitude, and you know what it earned me? The loss of respect of many. In some areas, it's different, but one thing's for sure: learn WHY everyone's being on you like this. Take their advice, and read the guides.

If you REALLY want to improve, you'd do that right now. Trust me when I say you'll get a bit more respect (and maybe a few fans).

And Kazeto Tamashii (I prefer to call her Mai)? Yeah, she knows exactly what she's talking about. I should know, because I actually took her suggestions to me on one of my stories and they work like charms. If you want, I'll show you some of her reviews (the ones she gave me and a few others).

However, if you absolutely insist on sticking to your beliefs that "because everyone likes it there's nothing wrong" and continue writing your summaries, let me warn you for your sake: KEEP THIS STORY AWAY FROM FARLA. I can not stress that enough.

Either way, I'm done here, but I'm hoping you take that in mind.

Good day.

JX Valentine
April 27th, 2006, 12:33 PM
If you dont like it, than dont read it.

If you can't take constructive criticism, then don't write. That's all I can say.

Seriously, though, that's not a great piece of advice to give a reader, especially when she doesn't know if she likes your story until she actually reads it. Since a reviewer is completely welcome (unless otherwise stated by the author before the fic begins) to leave a review, that reviewer is then welcome to leave a bad review if she doesn't like the author's work as long as it's got substance to it.

Thus, to review:

1. I can't dislike what I haven't read.
2. A reviewer is entitled to leave his or her own piece of constructive criticism if he or she wishes after they've read the story (or even part of it).

I find details such as facial expressions are pointless.

So, you don't like showing that your characters are human beings who live through the events of your story and are thus can be real and likable to the audience? Trust me on this one, the characters who are the most popular or well-done are the ones who think and feel, not just sit on a piece of paper and go through the story like a puppet. If you don't show that they're not puppets, they're suddenly nothing more than names on a piece of paper. They're pretty much nothing.

O well, you dont like it, I dont care. You cant please everyone.

No, but you can at least please the majority of people you're writing to. I have yet to see a positive review for this story, after all.

Maybe I should give only details and no story at all. It isnt my problem if you cant grasp the detail of the story.

XD Didn't you just say (or at least imply) that there's no detail in the story because you don't like that sort of thing?

This story leaves a lot up to your imagination

Yes... Like everything. The readers are doing more work trying to put together your world than you are.

I dont give discriptions of the characters in the story for 1, its kinda hard when this is supposed to be a tv show base,

If it was all one fandom, it'd be understandable, but you're pretty much threading a bunch of different fandoms together and expecting fans of Yu-gi-oh to know what characters from Lost look like.

2 I dont intend to keep these characters if this ever did become a tv show

Well, that's certainly getting ahead of yourself if I ever saw it.

Or did you mean the concept?

and i dont think it matters.

Listen, I'm about to use my famous canvas analogy. Imagine that you're a painter with a blank canvas. You've got a terrific idea in your mind, but you want to paint it so everyone else can see what that idea is. Stick figures won't work in this situation because it doesn't convey what you want the reader to imagine. You have to add as much detail as possible -- lines here, colors there -- to really help the reader understand what's in your head. Like I said before, we're not telepathic. We can't get into your world if you don't at least throw us a bone here. Instead, all I see when I read your story is a studio's green screen, just waiting to be filled by the magic of storytelling. Unfortunately, I have yet to see that.

All I can say is that Sho is a 4 foot tall shrimp.

He might as well be if you refuse to describe characters. And Valon, in my mind, is now a uniclam. Yes, a uniclam.

Other than that, just use logic to determine the characters looks.

What would logic be, though? I'm not sure where some characters come from, so I don't know if it's anime logic (as in, purple hair is the norm, and no one thinks twice about cat ears and a tail) or if it's "realistic genetics" sort of logic. Past that, I'm not sure if anyone has piercings, scars, injuries, mystical tattoos, or arms hardened by years of injecting drugs.

I think that since this isnt yet a TV series. that its better for readers to use their immaginationt to fill in the details.

Okay then. Valon is a uniclam then.

Judging by the details I DID give throughout the series about these characters, they should figure out the emotions on their own.

Valon is a angsty uniclam. Who needs some lovin'. And probably dreams about the boy.

See, I don't mean to offend you by the above statement, but it's just really hard to take your story seriously if you don't sit down, take your time, and add in details.

Also, the numbers were just thrown in there for fun. Thats all the significance they will ever recieve.

Then why throw in the part about Lost? Why smack the reader in the head with such a random bit of information?

you still cannot do anything but bash my series,

Ah, yes. You haven't changed much since the Exploding Charizard incident, then, but I won't get into that. I'm not bashing, dear. I'm being frank with you. It's just you'd rather say my advice is meaningless and that your writing skills are le awesome than take constructive criticism or an otherwise non-sugar-coated review. How you expect to improve is beyond me, but eh. Whatever.

Jirachi-master
April 27th, 2006, 12:41 PM
If you can't take constructive criticism, then don't write. That's all I can say.

Seriously, though, that's not a great piece of advice to give a reader, especially when she doesn't know if she likes your story until she actually reads it. Since a reviewer is completely welcome (unless otherwise stated by the author before the fic begins) to leave a review, that reviewer is then welcome to leave a bad review if she doesn't like the author's work as long as it's got substance to it.

Thus, to review:

1. I can't dislike what I haven't read.
2. A reviewer is entitled to leave his or her own piece of constructive criticism if he or she wishes after they've read the story (or even part of it).



So, you don't like showing that your characters are human beings who live through the events of your story and are thus can be real and likable to the audience? Trust me on this one, the characters who are the most popular or well-done are the ones who think and feel, not just sit on a piece of paper and go through the story like a puppet. If you don't show that they're not puppets, they're suddenly nothing more than names on a piece of paper. They're pretty much nothing.



No, but you can at least please the majority of people you're writing to. I have yet to see a positive review for this story, after all.



XD Didn't you just say (or at least imply) that there's no detail in the story because you don't like that sort of thing?



Yes... Like everything. The readers are doing more work trying to put together your world than you are.



If it was all one fandom, it'd be understandable, but you're pretty much threading a bunch of different fandoms together and expecting fans of Yu-gi-oh to know what characters from Lost look like.



Well, that's certainly getting ahead of yourself if I ever saw it.

Or did you mean the concept?



Listen, I'm about to use my famous canvas analogy. Imagine that you're a painter with a blank canvas. You've got a terrific idea in your mind, but you want to paint it so everyone else can see what that idea is. Stick figures won't work in this situation because it doesn't convey what you want the reader to imagine. You have to add as much detail as possible -- lines here, colors there -- to really help the reader understand what's in your head. Like I said before, we're not telepathic. We can't get into your world if you don't at least throw us a bone here. Instead, all I see when I read your story is a studio's green screen, just waiting to be filled by the magic of storytelling. Unfortunately, I have yet to see that.



He might as well be if you refuse to describe characters. And Valon, in my mind, is now a uniclam. Yes, a uniclam.



What would logic be, though? I'm not sure where some characters come from, so I don't know if it's anime logic (as in, purple hair is the norm, and no one thinks twice about cat ears and a tail) or if it's "realistic genetics" sort of logic. Past that, I'm not sure if anyone has piercings, scars, injuries, mystical tattoos, or arms hardened by years of injecting drugs.



Okay then. Valon is a uniclam then.



Valon is a angsty uniclam. Who needs some lovin'. And probably dreams about the boy.

See, I don't mean to offend you by the above statement, but it's just really hard to take your story seriously if you don't sit down, take your time, and add in details.



Then why throw in the part about Lost? Why smack the reader in the head with such a random bit of information?



Ah, yes. You haven't changed much since the Exploding Charizard incident, then, but I won't get into that. I'm not bashing, dear. I'm being frank with you. It's just you'd rather say my advice is meaningless and that your writing skills are le awesome than take constructive criticism or an otherwise non-sugar-coated review. How you expect to improve is beyond me, but eh. Whatever.


Dear? Isnt that for old ladies? And what is a uniclam? Well Ill tell you what valon is and you kinda grasped it. He is a troubled and midguided teen who needs some lovin. There, you see how easy that he. He needs some to care about him and someone to care about which is basicly what Alexis is there for. But when her existence is placed in jeopardy and he cant reach her, will he be able to go on? The character of Valon is a depresed kid in his late teens who simply has been given a bad lot in life and not made the best desicions and when he gets slapped with everything that he is about to next season, he will have to grow up quickly or he will crumble.

JX Valentine
April 27th, 2006, 02:23 PM
Dear? Isnt that for old ladies?

It's called sarcasm, dear.

And what is a uniclam?

A clam with wings and a unicorn horn, as seen on The Simpsons.

Well Ill tell you what valon is and you kinda grasped it. He is a troubled and midguided teen who needs some lovin. There, you see how easy that he.

I very highly doubt you're thinking of the kind of love I'm thinking of.

Seriously, though, yes, I see how easy that is, and I know how easy it is to actually insert it into the story so that your story isn't so much the work of the readers as it is your own. As it stands, the reason why you, as the storyteller, need to be specific is so that your meaning isn't lost. (e.g. Valon the uniclam.) If we want to use our own imagination, we'll use it to picture the scene based on what specifics you gave us. We'll picture red silk if you tell us there's red silk. We'll imagine one character stabbing another in a fit of rage if you describe it in detail to us. We'll imagine what it must be like to be the character who's doing the stabbing if you told us why he's doing it.

See what I mean now? I don't mean to bang it over your head constantly, but I'm just making sure we're on the right page here.

Jirachi-master
April 27th, 2006, 03:13 PM
It's called sarcasm, dear.



A clam with wings and a unicorn horn, as seen on The Simpsons.



I very highly doubt you're thinking of the kind of love I'm thinking of.

Seriously, though, yes, I see how easy that is, and I know how easy it is to actually insert it into the story so that your story isn't so much the work of the readers as it is your own. As it stands, the reason why you, as the storyteller, need to be specific is so that your meaning isn't lost. (e.g. Valon the uniclam.) If we want to use our own imagination, we'll use it to picture the scene based on what specifics you gave us. We'll picture red silk if you tell us there's red silk. We'll imagine one character stabbing another in a fit of rage if you describe it in detail to us. We'll imagine what it must be like to be the character who's doing the stabbing if you told us why he's doing it.

See what I mean now? I don't mean to bang it over your head constantly, but I'm just making sure we're on the right page here.



Hmmmm, Ill be sure to note that for future episodes when someone stabds another character. And when Alexis turns evil and Valon has to reach her, Ill be sure to make that as detailed as possible. Ill try to be more descriptive. When Valon is faced with who he truly is. Ill make it detailed. When it comes time for the next character to try to take out Ganner, ill make it good.

Jirachi-master
May 3rd, 2006, 04:02 AM
Episode 26: The Formation of the Cult. Part 2


A Ganner-centric episode

Notes: This will be composed completly of a Ganner flashback.



The Fairview bank was experiencing a normal business day. People came and left deposited and withdrew their money. All this came to a halt when 2 masked men barge into the bank and demand ALL of its contents. They terrorize the place for ten minutes. Finally they are given all the money, and prepare to leave when a man in the bank pulls out a gun but the bank robbers shoot him before he can fire it, killing him. The bank robbers than escape in a car. The driver pulls off his mask and says "man brother, I never get tired of doing this" than the passenger pulls off HIS mask and says "thats because I do all the work. You just stand there and wave your gun" the passenger is revealed to be Ganner. as they drive off Ganner's brother slams on the breaks as a kid stands in the middle of the street. Ganner gets out of the car and yells "hey kid, you have some kind of death wish? Lucky my brother was driving because I wouldn't have stopped" The kid answers "you should show more respect to the person with the knowledge of how to prevent your eminent demise" Ganner gets mad at the kid and tells him to take a hike but the kid says "I know, there is a bunch of people, teens actually, destined to kill you, some have not even been born yet. But you can prevent this by taking me with you" Ganner's Brother (offically named Kane) asks the kid "even if you came with us, why should we trust what you say and why would you tell us in the first place?" The kid answers "because, I am evil" Ganner and his bro decide that the kid is worth hearing out and they take the kid with them to their secret hideout in a tucked-away condo. When they get inside the kid tells Ganner that he has seen the future and that a group of teens are destined to bring him down, that he has to stop them before they can. The boy says that this is to happen in 24 years, in the year 2006. Ganner tells him that he can't know this than. The boy tells him that he received a vision. Ganner tells him that what he says thats is bull and if he expects to live, he must listen. Ganner's brother tries to convince Ganner to listen but Ganner is as stubborn as ever. He finally asks the kid to write down a list of every being he claims is "detined" to take him down. The kid agrees and begins writing down names, when added together are 100. Ganner says "Your sure about this? These are strange accusations against kids who are not even born yet" The kid says " I KNOW, these kids are destined to destroy you, do whatever you have to, kill them, make them join you, whatever is necessary." Ganner says "Ill kill some but some of these, I want for myself, those such as this Ryo Truesdale, he will join me and those such as this Jaden, I will make his life miserable for years before I kill him" The boy says " I don't recommend making this into a game" Ganner takes out a gun a places it to the kids head he says "you do not tell me what to do, I will take your advice and kill these kids but I will do it MY way and in MY time, in fact, this is the chance I've been waiting for, I'm tired of robbing banks. I will not get revenge on this world if all I do is continuous bank robbing. It will get me nowhere it life, I will use this opportunity, to start a cult, a cult with the purpose of killing these brats, that and killing everyone in this world who refuses to join me" The kid asks "do you really think you can dominate the WHOLE world?" Ganner replies "I know SO, but unfortunetly, YOU will not be around to see it" and he pulls the trigger and the bullet goes through the kids head. The kid stood there motionlessly or about 6 seconds but than fell back and died. Ganners brother asked "what the heck did you do that for?" Ganner said, "he was a witness, one which I could not allow to exist on this earth" Ganners brother asked him "well, what are we gonna do with his body? we cant just leave it here" Ganner tells him "why not? I have no further need for this place anyway, Im sure somebody will smell him in a week or two and come in find his rotting carcus." Ganners brother asks "ok, so we leave this place with a dead kid inside, what do you plan to do now than?" Ganner answered "did you think I was joking? I plan to start a cult, I will infiltrate the lives of some of these pests, make them join me. Some Ill just kill. It may take 20 years but after that, Ill be free, to pursue my REAL destiny, the destiny to be the head of this earth, to have kings, and emperors bow down to me. To be able to kill someone without anyone being able to charge me for it, the power to turn brother against brother. This fate of the earth, The Extermination of the Nations, will begin. Eon, that will be my cult. Named after the fate of this world. I will start this cult, and you Kane, you will start it with me" Kane replies "I dont know, you think we can do this? I mean, how are we gonna infiltrate the lives of everyone here?" Ganner replies "because I am Ganner, I already have planned out exactly what will happen to this brats. Even though some will temporarily join me, they will meet the same fate as this kid, death by MY hand. My world is in site, my cult about to rise, and my destiny about to be fulfilled, it is time now my brother, to show this world that you do not make Ganner an outcast, and We will show this world, what happens when you do. TO BE CONTINUED...EXTERMINATION

Jirachi-master
May 10th, 2006, 03:42 AM
Episode 27: The Formation of the Cult(part 3)


Notes: This will be a special Ganner-centric episode composed entirely of his past.







Ganner and his brother Kale were speaking to a real estate agent regarding purchasing a property to be the HQ for their cult. The business man gives them a hard time but is finally able to nogotiate. Ganner thanks the man and than shoots him dead on his way out. Kale asked Ganner why he felt the need to kill someone every day and Ganner answered that "Its all part of my nature, I was born to kill." Ganner and Kale walked into their newly purchased property and Kale asked what Ganner planned next. Ganner said, "armageddon". YEARS LATER. Ganner's success has grown to a record high. He has at least 1000 members of his cult. Though few of them are of those destined few. Ganner finally tracks down one of the 100 and when the kid refused to join him, Ganner left him. The boys body was discovered weeks later. Kale apparently was getting frustrated with all of Ganner's murders. He was starting too want to call it quits but he knew that Ganner would kill him if he did. One day, Ganner was searching through a magazine and saw a pretend magic kit. Ganner suddenly jumped up. "THATS IT!" he cried. His brother Kale, confused beyond reason asked him what he got so excited about. Ganner answered " Potions, I can use them. With them I can become invincible. This kit for children, however useless it is to me, had given me the ultimate idea. The way in which I can FINALLY achieve my destiny to take this world by storm. With these potions, I can launch, nuclear attacks, disease outbreaks which will put the bird flu to shame, natural disasters, nothing is beyond my grasp, though I must wait until all the ones that are destined to kill me are dead, after they are, I PLAN TO UNLEASE ARMAGEDDON UPON THE WHOLE WORLD. NOBODY WILL EVER STAND IN MY WAY, EVER. Ganner said," Kale, I am going to leave us for a few years, I will return when I have mastered these potions, Ill use an underground laboratory in a far away town that I know and when I have mastered these techniques, I will return and reclaim leadership here. LATER, and DONT SCREW ANYTHING UP."Ganner than left for 2 more years. Than one day, he suddenly returned. He walked up to Kale and said " your looking at the first domino in what will be the destruction of this world." Kale told Ganner, "Im tired of this, I dont have enough time to WASTE my life on this silly dream of yours. Im going to turn myself in." Ganner asked him "would you turn your own brother in? Leading to his certain death?" Kale answered "I would, but I promise that unless asked specificly, I will not bring you up" Ganner told him that even that was unacceptable. Kale said "what you think no longer matters to me, I agreed to help you with your wicked acts at first but now you are not my brother but a vile creature I no longer recognize. Im going to turn myself into the police so that I may atone for ever aiding you in your wicked ways." Kale turned to walk out forever but ganner grabbed him and slammed him to the ground and put a gun to his chest and said "I am sorry brother but I cannot let you ever reveal your part in this to anyone, THIS IS MY WORLD NOW, and neither you nor anyone else can stop me, oh and I take back the part about being sorry, hope you enjoy the afterlife, because thats where you are headed." Ganner than fired the gun killing his brother immedietly. Ganner called a member of his cult in and asked him to place the body with the rest of them. As his brothers dead body was carried out an eveil grin could be seen as his face. He seemed as if he was glad that he had killed his brother. Ganner walked to a window and said to himself "MY DESTINY IS IN HAND, MY PLANS CANNOT FAIL, NOBODY CAN EVER HALT ME IN MY PATH TO EON." Ganner poured himself a glass of whine. He said to himself "EON will bring about the end of this world, the extermination of(the) nations, EON, now has the necessary tools to finally unleash armegeddon upon this world. It is finally time, to pursue my prey, so those 100 kids are destined to kill me eh? Well, Ill just have to kill them first." Ganners glass than shatters in his hand but his hand is not even scratched. Ganner walks out of the room he was in and tells his cult members, "let us begin, we will abandon this hideout and seek out another, destroying our enemies along the way, TODAY, THE END BEGINS." EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED...

Jirachi-master
May 17th, 2006, 04:26 AM
Episode 28: One Last Dance


Part 1 of season finale. No flashbacks this episode. This episode contains brief violence, mild language, and mild thematic elements. Reader descresion is advised.





Ken awoke to the gleaming sunlight and the sound of birds chirping. He gets out of his bed and walks into the bathroom. He brushes his teeth, and flossed. Than he walked into the shower and tuned the water on. He stood there for about 10 minutes. He thought about his situation. But mostly, he thought about Ririko. He really felt that he was starting to have real feelings for her. But something about her just troubled him. He felt that she was keeping something from him. Suddenly, the shower went off on its own. Ken tried to get it to start up again but was unsuccessful. Suddenly the water started again only this time it was freezing cold. The water handle would not turn to make it cooler. Ken thought that it was not so bad. At least he snapped out of his grogginess. Suddenly the water became piping hot. Ken jumped out of the shower but tripped a fell on the floor. Suddenly the sink and the tiolet began to go crazy and spit out water. Ken than jumped up opened the door and ran put of the bathroom naked, closed the door behind him, and sat on the door outside of the bathroom leaning his head back on the door, and closed his eyes. Suddenly he heard a voice say "Wow Ken, nice" he quickly opened his eyes and saw Ririko sitting on the couch looking directly at him. Ken said under his breath "oh ****". When the water settles down, Ken had Ririko call Kelly and Chazz to discuss the matter. When everyone was seated comfortable, Ken opened up with " We gotta do something. Calling me and taunting me was 1 thing but this guy has gone too far. And when he calls, he doent even have the gall to speak to me. And now he tries to fry me like fast food while im showering. This is going to far." Chazz answered him "And what do you suppose we do? This guy does not seem traceable, for all we know it could be a prank. I mean" Suddenly Kelly interrupted him by saying "No, No, I have interacted with everyone here at some point. They arnt the prankster type. Believe me, I am very good at reading certain people. The closest thing we have to a joker among us is Valon and last I recall, he was on some wild goose chase trying to pry open some chest behind some door in the catacombs to our city. And I do not think he gets signals down there." Chazz says "we can only wait. Hope that he makes a mistake, and be ready when he does." Ken answered "By the time that happens on of us could dead. he is not just after me, he has a thing for all 4 of us. We gotta get him before he gets us. Hes done enough damage already." Ririko entered the conversation by saying "I do believe Ken, showers just dont do that on their own" Ken answered "if we wait, we will all end up like Leon. We gotta act now before more bad things happen" Chazz asked "What bad things, he hasnt done much but call you repeatedly and tamper with your plumbing." Ririko interupted "well something else did happen" Ken looked at her with an annoyed look. She said "I was waiting to see Ken, maybe have some breakfast, after all, we do kinda share a suite even though we hae separate rooms. Anyway, I was waiting on the couch, watching a dvd and he came rushing out of the bathroom and he just sat on the floor. Anyway, I thought be had a towel on but he didnt and well, the rest should explain itself" Chazz and Kelly burst out laughing and chazz muttered out while laughing "you mean you saw his" Ririko interrupted "man tool?, yep" Chazz and Kelly burst out laughing even more. Ken interupted them all saying "Alright, alright, it wasnt that funny. So she saw me naked, happens to people all the time. Plus, no need to put ririko through that again." Ririko said "who says I minded?" Ken said "what you mean by that?" Riiko answered "well I never said I did not enjoy our little incident. In fact Id go through it again in heartbeat. I mean, the face you made when you relized I was here was priceless but Ive always had a thing for you ever since the attack and I always wondered if you were my type. Now I know for sure, you definetly are." Chazz and Kelly again burst out laughing and Ken slumped down on the couch. Ririko said "you know Ken, me seeing your body might have just saved your life" Ken asked "and what is that supposed to mean?" Ririko answered "youll know in due time" As the day went on, the bathroom began to work egularly again, and everyone watched dvd's til sunset. They stayed up til 10 o'clock. They listened to soft music. Chazz broke the silence by saying " Oh Ken, I forgot to tell you, Kelly and I are moving in with you and Ririko" Ken yelled out "WHAT?!" Chazz said "yes, the gang is intrested in turning my room and Kelly's and a few other into a small medical center, after all, one of the other survivors is skilled in FIRST AID and you never know when we might need some. Plus we found enough medicne in the basement to last a decade, so we're clearing out of our rooms and moving in with you 2" Ririko told Ken " its ok Ken, i dont mind, it'll be nice to be able to talk with Kelly without one of us having to go home." Ken said "Fine but when I am in the shower, you are all to be in your rooms." Chazz said "but my room is your room" Ken said "well your different, men see its other in the nude every day, but girls should never anything of a boy that is covered by his pants until she marries him. Thats 1 of the main rules of life" Chazz chuckled and went back to listening to the music. Ririko and Kelly suggested that since they had music playing, that they should Dance. Both Ken and Chazz sounded uninterested but were both grabbed up by their respective girl. They both after about 5 minutes got into the dance. Ken told ririko "you know, I was embarressed when you saw me naked a lot more than I wouldve been with any other girl" Ririko asked "why?" He told her "because I think Im starting to have feelings for you, I think that I may be starting to like you beyond a friend" Ririko put her head on his chest and said "I guess the feeling really is mutual afterall" Kelly and Chazz danced more actively, with Chazz twirling her. Kelly told Chazz "You know, you really are my type of guy" Chazz told her, "and you are my type of girl". The dancing went on til 10:56. Than all of a sudden, the music stopped and began to start going on and off. The lights than started to flicker. On and off they went showing no sign of stopping. Kelly put her head on Chazz's chest and told him that she was scared. Chazz told her it was alright. They all sank to the floor. Ririko, apparently fainted out of fear. Ken asked Chazz, "so you still think this is a prankster?" Suddenly, the ceiling fan that Ken had in his kitchenette which was on due to the humidity came off the ceiling and charged right at the 4. Ken and Chazz quickly shoved the girls out of the way and tired to get out of the way of the fan but a cramp In Chazz's leg prevented him from moving. Ken tried to shove him out of the way but the blade was already in front of them. Kelly yelled out "NO!" EXTERMINATION... TO BE CONTINUED....

Jirachi-master
May 24th, 2006, 03:15 AM
Episode 29: Destiny(Part 1)


Notes: This episode is part 2 of the season finale and features no specific character that it revolves around



Ken and Chazz were directly in the path of the fan blade and about to be chopped in half but Ken managed to dragged himself and Chazz out of harms way in the last second. The fans than crashed into the wall and fell apart. The 4 young teens tried to get themselves rational again after the great shock they had just endured. Chazz helped Kelly to bed and said that he would stay with her to make sure she was ok. Ken told Ririko that she could stay in his room that night to help her calm down. He laid her down on his bed. He was about to get up when she grabbed his arm. She said to him "please Ken, please take me away from all this" Ken just looked dissapointedly and said "you have no idea how much I wish I could" But she interrupted, "you can" Ken asked her how? Meanwhile, Sho was sulking in cell. He laid on his bed and asked himself "How can I tell Ryo? I mean our brother has been in our camp the time we were here. I just hope he can take it ok. Ganner than walked in to his cell and said "come out, your coming out, time for you to wash up" sho asked what he meant. Ganner replied "your gonna take a shower dope, its been a while since you washed off and I dont like my prisioners smelling like a carcus unless they are one. So comeon, follow me. Ganner unlocked the door and led sho to a room. Sho went inside and he was even allowed to lock the door behind him. Sho got naked and walked into the shower. The warm water soothed all his aches and pains. He still felt depressed about how he was going to explain everything to Ryo. His brother was with them the whole time, would ryo take that well? Sho washed off thouroughly. He felt so good he stayed in the warm shower for over half an hour. When he finally got out, he got dressed in the new clothes Ganner had provided for him. He walked out of the bathroom only to grabbed by Ganner. Ganner drugged him again and Sho passed out. Meanwhile, Ryo was running around the city looking for Sho. Suddenly a man came behind him with a gun. He said that he shouldnt move if he expected to see his brother again. Suddenly Ryo sharply jolted around and slammed the guy to the ground. He took the guys gun and held it to his chest. He asked the guy where Sho was. The guy told him to go to hell. Ryo than shot a bullet in the guys shoulder. The guy still didnt talk. Than he shot the other shoulder and than the guy finally agreed to talk. The guy said "Ganner, he ordered me to kill you, Sho is in the house at the end of the street. it looks like an abandonned house but Ganner is hiding out in there now. But he has many hideouts throughout the city. He is abandoning that one soon so you better hurry and get to baby brother, you dont want to let him down again do you? Ryo took the gun off of him and tried to walk away but the guy managed to pull Ryo to the ground. He put his arm around Ryo's neck and pulled out a knife but Ryo managed to get his gun on the guys chest and he fired it killing the guy instantly. Ryo got up and ran towards the house he was directed to. The night came and went and morning came. Ken and Ririko came out of his room and he went to his damaged kitchen area and made her some breakfast. Like every week, the pantry had been restocked. Ken gave her some oatmeal. she said thanks. He told her she was welcome but she said "not for that" Ken looked at her and just brought some breakfast to Chazz and Kelly. Kelly was still pretty shaken up from the previous night. Suddenly the phone in her room rung. Ken picked it up but all he heard was the usual static. Ken yelled into the phone "WHO THE FREAKING HELL ARE YOU? WHY ARE U DOING THIS?" Suddenly Ken could hear a voice over the phone saying "KEN, THE TIME IS COMING CLOSE. YOU AND I WILL BE FACE TO FACE SOONER THAN YOU THINK" Then the mysterious caller hung up. Ken coudnt make out the voice as it was disguised. He said to Chazz, "we better do something, and fast" Meanwhile Ryo finally came to the house. He search around for about 10 minutes before coming to the cell where Ganner had Sho held. He saw a note saying "I HAVE HIM. HES IN THIS HOUSE SOMEWHERE. YOU BETTER FIND HIM BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE" Ryo suddenly got an audrenelin rush and rapidly searched for Sho. He than came across the bathroom Sho had showered in earlier. He saw Sho's old clothes lying on the ground. He at first thought that Ganner had killed him and that he was lying in the shower because he saw a nude body in the tub. The body was lying facedown, in the water. Ryo turned the body around, it was a a male about the same age and size as Sho. He noticed that the boy had apparently been frozen. He recognized it from the news years earlier as a boy found in dead from a bullet wound to the head. Since nobody ever claimed his body, he was frozen but was stolen about a few years later.(note: This is the same boy Ganner killed in episode 27) Ryo left the body in the shower and ran off. He looked at the note once again an than he crumbled it and ran off. Sho was in the attic of the house. Ganner had taken him there, tied him to a chair and left. Sho just sat there and cried. He said in a soft voice while crying "Ryo, help me". EXTERMINATION TO BE CONTINUED... JUST 1 EPISODE LEFT THIS SEASON.

Jirachi-master
May 31st, 2006, 04:42 AM
Episode 30: Destiny(Part 2)


Notes: Well we're here, I hope you enjoy the final episode of season 1.



The noon of the day upon him, Jaden sat in the room he was left in by Ganner with almost an emotionless stare. He had been in their for days. Luckily for him, Ganner left him a small pantry of junk food and a small restroom. But Jaden knew that Ryo could at the moment be fighting for his life or worse, already be dead. Oh how Jaden wished their was a window to crawl out of but Ganner wasnt stupid. The only window in the room was in the restroom and was scarcly big enough for a mouse to get through, Jaden said to himself "thats it, I refuse to stay here any longer, today Im getting out."

Ken was beginning to worry about Ririko. She hadnt said much all day and just seemed to sit on the couch and do nothing. He tried talking to her but she really didnt say much. His fears increased when she all of a sudden got up and walked to door. Ken asked where she was going. She replied "Just to get some fresh air, Ill be back in a while" and with that she left. Her new attitude worried Ken. She was acting unusually strange this day; He went into Kelly's room to discuss the issue with her and Chazz but kelly didnt seem to concearned. She told him "oh give her some space, all girls go through those days when we just feel like there is no point to life" Than chazz added "plus ririko is probably depressed about growing up. I mean, she is in that time of your life when everything changes and you just feel the need to" Suddenly Kelly slapped him, which told him that he was about to cross the line with that statement. About 30 minutes later, everyone was doing their own thing. Suddenly, their day was about to be interrupted by something they all recently dreaded. About 1:00 Pm, the phone rang. Ken was hesitant to pick it up but knew that he had too. So he picked it up and answered, he heard his usual static and the electricity began to act funny but only minor disfunctions this time. However, he heard a voice saying "the time has arrived, Destiny is about to be fulfilled, and to think Ive been here with you the whole time and you never even had a clue that I was working for Ganner the WHOLE time. Like I said last time, we will again be face to face today Ken," Suddenly Ken burst in and asked "what do you mean again? Are you saying that we have met before? Who are you?" like usually the mysterious caller just hung up. Suddenly, the lights began to act normal but Ken felt a strange presence. Ken looked at Kelly and Chazz and said "Hes here".

Valon, Noah, and Brier had been walking for over a week in the catacombs. Valon asked Brier why it took him so long to find it this time. Brier answered him "trust me I know what I am doing" Valon asked "so I heard you got friends in there, you know, if you're really lucky, they may still have not yet assumed room temperature" Seeing as neither Noah nor Brier laughed, Valon got the message that his joke wasnt funny. Valon asked Brier :How much longer are we gonna be down here, Im tired and I havnt been able to shower in over a week, comeon be a human" Brier turn around and said "you dont know what inhumane is, I do. I do know what inhumanity is, Ive felt the pain it brings, the humility, the betrayal, Ive felt all of that. Im doing this for you, so we should be there in less than A minute, and even though opening this door is like Opening Pandora's box, it is necessary to stop Ganner." Valon replied "Ok you didnt have get all upset, I was just asking when we would be there" Brier replied "We'll you can stop now, we're here." at that moment, all three of them could see the door they were to open. Valon than said "well aright than mates, lets get this son of a gun door to open already"

Alexis was getting a bit lonly. Since Valon had left, there wasnt much for her to do. So she spent the morning watching dvds and reading. As the 1 0'clock hour approached, she felt a bit board and decided to take a shower. So she took of her clothes and put them in the laundry basket and entered the show. She turned the water on and just stood there for about 6 minutes. She couldnt deny the fact that she had feelings for Valon and that she was deeply worried about him. She imagined that he was right there in the shower with her to try to comfort herself. That he was ok and would be back soon. She also missed her brother. She knew that Valon was going to try to find him for her but she didnt want to get her hopes up. Unknown to Alexis, Ganner had just entered her appartment. Ganner, hearing the shower, slowly walked over to the bathroom door. He reached for the knob and turned it to open the door.

It had been over a week since Leon and Alister we're trapped in that basement storage room. They search around for a way out and tryed to combine Ganner's potions into something that would break down the door but got nowhere. At one point Leon found a box with some more comfortable clothes than the ones he was wearing. He searched for a few days and eventually found a box with his size. He asked Alister for his and than eventually found Alister's size. Leon slided the box over to alister and said, there, change into something more comfortable. Alister opened the box, the box oddly enough had his size shorts and pants and short-sleeve shirts and regular long sleeve. It even had socks and underpants. Alister seeing that Leon cared a bit more about changing than he did ask "hey Leon want me to turn?" Leon said "No thats ok, I went to a public shower a few times, Ive gotten used to it" So both Leon and Alister took off all of their clothes folded them and put them in the box. Seeing Leon took alister back to when he used to help is brother get dressed. His brother was Leon's age when he died and their personalities were similar. Alister shrugged off this memory and than they both got redressed. Leon picked a blue-short sleeved shirt and blue shorts. Alister tried a green shirt with a gray vest-jacket and and regular blue long pants. Leon search the boxxes some more hoping to find more intresting things to do. While searching, he noticed that a small part a of the floor, under the boxxes was loose. He took off that part of the floor. He pulled up a small box. He called Alister over and said "Hey Alsiter, check this out" Alister came over and asked Leon "What did you find this time? A way home?" Leon opened thw box and said "maybe" Alister intrested by what leon had found went over kneeled down next to him." In the box was a piece of folded up paper. Leon took it out and unfolded it. They both starred at it for about 10 minutes but they both relized at the same moment that it was bluprints of the town. They than quickly found the apartment buildings and found the area they were in. They noticed that on the other side of a wall, was a small hallway. In this hallway, right outside their door, there was another wall which on the other side of it was the catacombs. They also noticed that the catacombs basicly led to 2 places, the room which Valon and his friends were headed to and a big dome-shaped room. which had a hall which led up to right outside their room. That was all that was needed to motivate Alister. He immedietly sprang up and started to mix Ganner's potions. He did that for about 4 minutes than he ran over to the wall opposite of the locked door they entered this room by. He rapidly slammed the mixture against the door and cracks burned in the door. 3 even cracks in all the together formed a door. Alister kicked the wall in and he and Leon walked out. They immedietly saw the wall on which the catacombs were on the other side of. They decided walk down the hall. After walking 20 feet down, they heard a yell. They suddenly stoppe in their tracks. And Alister told Leon "hey buddy, I THINK we had better get out of her"

Ryo was frantic searching around the house for Sho. He knew he was in there but he didnt know where. He was getting VERY worries about him and his heart began to rapidly beat. He searched for about an hour but got nowhere. Than when he was on the top floor, he noticed in the hall was a chain hanging from the ceiling. He pulled the chain and a small section of the ceiling came down and small steps as well. Ryo walked up the steps into the small attic. Although it was the attic, it was fixxed up VERY nicly. There were 2 doors, Ryo opened the first and it was a just a closet. Than he went for the second door. He opened it up, walked in and flicked on the light. When the light came on, his eyes lit up as he saw Sho tied up in a chair. he called out to his brother and his brother picked up his head. They both thought they were dreaming but they wernt. Ryo ran over to Sho. He untied his brother from the chair and they embraced each other.

As Ganner entered the bathroom, Alexis heard him and was fearful. Every person who would be in her room was busy doing other things. She asked "Whos there? What are you doing here?" Ganner answered "I have come, for you" Alexis froze in fear. She hadnt had any encounters with Ganner before but it was common knowledge in the city that he was a VERY dangerous man. Alexis shut off the shower and prepared to run as Ganner pulled away the shower curtain. But he caught her and held her against the wall. he said to himself "o yes, you are beautiful. I can see why that Valon has a thing for you" Alexis replied "pig, put me down, you have no right" Ganner inerupted her "No right? No right to what? Dont, worry, I have no interest in sex. You just happened to be in the nude when I arrived to take you." Alexis asked "take me? what do you mean?" Ganner pulled out a needle and said "its a shame Valon will never get to enjoy your exquisite body, because he will die soon, and YOU my dear Alexis will be the one to kill him" Alexis froze in fear. Ganner took the needle and stabbed it in Alexis's chest. She suddenly fainted. Ganner quietly said "nighty-night Alexis." Than he picked her up and jump out the window but landed on his feet. Than we walked off with her. Ken, Chazz, and Kelly got goosebumps when they heard a knock at the door. Ken knew it was the person who had been calling him. The person knocked for 20 minutes but didnt go away. They all knew they had to face him. Chazz kissed Kelly and said "You, I think I love you I just wanted that said in case we dont all make it" Kelly stunned by this got a burst of courage as both she and Chazz walked over to the door. Chazz opened the door only to be shot the moment it opened. He fell to ground. Kelly immedietly went to see if he was ok only to be shot herself and she too collapsed. Ken sprang to is feet and rushed to see who had done this. When he saw the person standing in the doorway, horror filled his eyes, for the person standing in the doorway was none other than Ririko. Ken asked "you mean, it was you? the whole time, it was you?" Ririko said "yes Ken, the whole time it was me" Than she picked up the gun and aimed it at Ken He asked "before you kill me, I need to know why. Why did you do this? After all I have done for you, after all I gave you, why? Ririko with tears in her eyes said "because, i have to, Ganner demands it" Than she fired the gun. Ken stunned that she actually went through with it stood there briefly but than he put his hand on the area in which she shot him and than he sunk to his knees and than fell over. Ririko with even more tears in her eyes walked to the door and before she walked out she said "Im sorry guys, Im sorry" Than she walked out and closed the door behind her. Jaden was determined to get out. He would stop at nothing to get out. He started to rapidly pound the door hoping it would give in. but it didnt. But it did get the attention of Jake who was making sure Jaden didnt do something stupid. so he walked in and kicked Jaden to the floor. he pointed a handgun at Jaden and said "you know, you are really becomming an annoyance to me, I think Ill end my misery now by end your pathetic life" Jake prepared to fire the gun but Jaden jumped him and they both fell to the floor. A struggle ensued and the gun than went off. Than blood could be seen dripping from one of the 2. Valon, Brier, and Noah finally came to the door again. Valon Brier "ok tell me the code" Brier said to him "no Ill enter it" Valon said "fine that, suit yourself" Brier entered the numbers into the password machine. Valon asked, "can you at least tell me how you knew the code?" Brier answered "Simple, there are 6 numbers here, you are supposed to add every 2 numbers together and enter them in so I entered 12, 31, 65. Than he pressed the enter button. The door slowly began to open. However, than the walls of the catacombs began to shake the the immediete area began to crumble Valon yelled out "GET DOWN" he, Noah, and Brier ducked to the floor. Suddenly the ceiling of the catacombs and even the walls themselves caved in on top of the three. Valon looked up and saw the rocks piling on top of him. As the rocks fell, he closed his eyes and said, "IM sorry." Than the rocks completely covered Valon, Brier, and Noah. Alister suddenly saw 2 shadows approaching from the direction they were headed he immedietly told Leon to run but Leon was frozen in fear. Alister saw the shadow of a gun in the hands of one of the shadow which were coming ever closer. Alister yelled out again "LEON, RUN!" This time he took off and Leon followed him. Suddenly, the 2 people, covered in black fired a gun which hit Leon. Leon fell to the ground. Alister seeing Leon laying there rushed to help him but the other intruder(the one who didnt fire the gun) snuck behind him and hit him over the head with a rock, knocking him out immedetly. Alisten fell to the ground and the 2 people stood over their 2 victims. Ryo and Sho had probably hugged for about 5 minutes. They were both so happy to finally see each other. Sho suddenly remembered what he had discovered. He pulled away from Ryo and said "Ryo, i know who our brother is, your twin, hes been among us the whole time" Ryo asked "you mean, hes another of the survivors?" Sho said "yes". Ryo asked "well than who is it?" Sho said "its" Suddenly a bomb that was hidden in the room went off and the force of it threw both Ryo and Sho to the ground. Ryo rapped his arms around Sho to protect him but the force knock the 2 apart. Than the whole place in which they were in blew up, the entire house(or building) flames burned on the remains of the house, cyndered pieces of wood and frame which covered Ryo and Sho. EXTERMINATION...TO BE CONTINUED-NEXT SEASON.

Thank you all for a good first season and I hope you can support me through season 2.

Jirachi-master
May 31st, 2006, 04:43 AM
Episode 30: Destiny(Part 2)


Notes: Well we're here, I hope you enjoy the final episode of season 1.



The noon of the day upon him, Jaden sat in the room he was left in by Ganner with almost an emotionless stare. He had been in their for days. Luckily for him, Ganner left him a small pantry of junk food and a small restroom. But Jaden knew that Ryo could at the moment be fighting for his life or worse, already be dead. Oh how Jaden wished their was a window to crawl out of but Ganner wasnt stupid. The only window in the room was in the restroom and was scarcly big enough for a mouse to get through, Jaden said to himself "thats it, I refuse to stay here any longer, today Im getting out."

Ken was beginning to worry about Ririko. She hadnt said much all day and just seemed to sit on the couch and do nothing. He tried talking to her but she really didnt say much. His fears increased when she all of a sudden got up and walked to door. Ken asked where she was going. She replied "Just to get some fresh air, Ill be back in a while" and with that she left. Her new attitude worried Ken. She was acting unusually strange this day; He went into Kelly's room to discuss the issue with her and Chazz but kelly didnt seem to concearned. She told him "oh give her some space, all girls go through those days when we just feel like there is no point to life" Than chazz added "plus ririko is probably depressed about growing up. I mean, she is in that time of your life when everything changes and you just feel the need to" Suddenly Kelly slapped him, which told him that he was about to cross the line with that statement. About 30 minutes later, everyone was doing their own thing. Suddenly, their day was about to be interrupted by something they all recently dreaded. About 1:00 Pm, the phone rang. Ken was hesitant to pick it up but knew that he had too. So he picked it up and answered, he heard his usual static and the electricity began to act funny but only minor disfunctions this time. However, he heard a voice saying "the time has arrived, Destiny is about to be fulfilled, and to think Ive been here with you the whole time and you never even had a clue that I was working for Ganner the WHOLE time. Like I said last time, we will again be face to face today Ken," Suddenly Ken burst in and asked "what do you mean again? Are you saying that we have met before? Who are you?" like usually the mysterious caller just hung up. Suddenly, the lights began to act normal but Ken felt a strange presence. Ken looked at Kelly and Chazz and said "Hes here".

Valon, Noah, and Brier had been walking for over a week in the catacombs. Valon asked Brier why it took him so long to find it this time. Brier answered him "trust me I know what I am doing" Valon asked "so I heard you got friends in there, you know, if you're really lucky, they may still have not yet assumed room temperature" Seeing as neither Noah nor Brier laughed, Valon got the message that his joke wasnt funny. Valon asked Brier :How much longer are we gonna be down here, Im tired and I havnt been able to shower in over a week, comeon be a human" Brier turn around and said "you dont know what inhumane is, I do. I do know what inhumanity is, Ive felt the pain it brings, the humility, the betrayal, Ive felt all of that. Im doing this for you, so we should be there in less than A minute, and even though opening this door is like Opening Pandora's box, it is necessary to stop Ganner." Valon replied "Ok you didnt have get all upset, I was just asking when we would be there" Brier replied "We'll you can stop now, we're here." at that moment, all three of them could see the door they were to open. Valon than said "well aright than mates, lets get this son of a gun door to open already"

Alexis was getting a bit lonly. Since Valon had left, there wasnt much for her to do. So she spent the morning watching dvds and reading. As the 1 0'clock hour approached, she felt a bit board and decided to take a shower. So she took of her clothes and put them in the laundry basket and entered the show. She turned the water on and just stood there for about 6 minutes. She couldnt deny the fact that she had feelings for Valon and that she was deeply worried about him. She imagined that he was right there in the shower with her to try to comfort herself. That he was ok and would be back soon. She also missed her brother. She knew that Valon was going to try to find him for her but she didnt want to get her hopes up. Unknown to Alexis, Ganner had just entered her appartment. Ganner, hearing the shower, slowly walked over to the bathroom door. He reached for the knob and turned it to open the door.

It had been over a week since Leon and Alister we're trapped in that basement storage room. They search around for a way out and tryed to combine Ganner's potions into something that would break down the door but got nowhere. At one point Leon found a box with some more comfortable clothes than the ones he was wearing. He searched for a few days and eventually found a box with his size. He asked Alister for his and than eventually found Alister's size. Leon slided the box over to alister and said, there, change into something more comfortable. Alister opened the box, the box oddly enough had his size shorts and pants and short-sleeve shirts and regular long sleeve. It even had socks and underpants. Alister seeing that Leon cared a bit more about changing than he did ask "hey Leon want me to turn?" Leon said "No thats ok, I went to a public shower a few times, Ive gotten used to it" So both Leon and Alister took off all of their clothes folded them and put them in the box. Seeing Leon took alister back to when he used to help is brother get dressed. His brother was Leon's age when he died and their personalities were similar. Alister shrugged off this memory and than they both got redressed. Leon picked a blue-short sleeved shirt and blue shorts. Alister tried a green shirt with a gray vest-jacket and and regular blue long pants. Leon search the boxxes some more hoping to find more intresting things to do. While searching, he noticed that a small part a of the floor, under the boxxes was loose. He took off that part of the floor. He pulled up a small box. He called Alister over and said "Hey Alsiter, check this out" Alister came over and asked Leon "What did you find this time? A way home?" Leon opened thw box and said "maybe" Alister intrested by what leon had found went over kneeled down next to him." In the box was a piece of folded up paper. Leon took it out and unfolded it. They both starred at it for about 10 minutes but they both relized at the same moment that it was bluprints of the town. They than quickly found the apartment buildings and found the area they were in. They noticed that on the other side of a wall, was a small hallway. In this hallway, right outside their door, there was another wall which on the other side of it was the catacombs. They also noticed that the catacombs basicly led to 2 places, the room which Valon and his friends were headed to and a big dome-shaped room. which had a hall which led up to right outside their room. That was all that was needed to motivate Alister. He immedietly sprang up and started to mix Ganner's potions. He did that for about 4 minutes than he ran over to the wall opposite of the locked door they entered this room by. He rapidly slammed the mixture against the door and cracks burned in the door. 3 even cracks in all the together formed a door. Alister kicked the wall in and he and Leon walked out. They immedietly saw the wall on which the catacombs were on the other side of. They decided walk down the hall. After walking 20 feet down, they heard a yell. They suddenly stoppe in their tracks. And Alister told Leon "hey buddy, I THINK we had better get out of her"

Ryo was frantic searching around the house for Sho. He knew he was in there but he didnt know where. He was getting VERY worries about him and his heart began to rapidly beat. He searched for about an hour but got nowhere. Than when he was on the top floor, he noticed in the hall was a chain hanging from the ceiling. He pulled the chain and a small section of the ceiling came down and small steps as well. Ryo walked up the steps into the small attic. Although it was the attic, it was fixxed up VERY nicly. There were 2 doors, Ryo opened the first and it was a just a closet. Than he went for the second door. He opened it up, walked in and flicked on the light. When the light came on, his eyes lit up as he saw Sho tied up in a chair. he called out to his brother and his brother picked up his head. They both thought they were dreaming but they wernt. Ryo ran over to Sho. He untied his brother from the chair and they embraced each other.

As Ganner entered the bathroom, Alexis heard him and was fearful. Every person who would be in her room was busy doing other things. She asked "Whos there? What are you doing here?" Ganner answered "I have come, for you" Alexis froze in fear. She hadnt had any encounters with Ganner before but it was common knowledge in the city that he was a VERY dangerous man. Alexis shut off the shower and prepared to run as Ganner pulled away the shower curtain. But he caught her and held her against the wall. he said to himself "o yes, you are beautiful. I can see why that Valon has a thing for you" Alexis replied "pig, put me down, you have no right" Ganner inerupted her "No right? No right to what? Dont, worry, I have no interest in sex. You just happened to be in the nude when I arrived to take you." Alexis asked "take me? what do you mean?" Ganner pulled out a needle and said "its a shame Valon will never get to enjoy your exquisite body, because he will die soon, and YOU my dear Alexis will be the one to kill him" Alexis froze in fear. Ganner took the needle and stabbed it in Alexis's chest. She suddenly fainted. Ganner quietly said "nighty-night Alexis." Than he picked her up and jump out the window but landed on his feet. Than we walked off with her. Ken, Chazz, and Kelly got goosebumps when they heard a knock at the door. Ken knew it was the person who had been calling him. The person knocked for 20 minutes but didnt go away. They all knew they had to face him. Chazz kissed Kelly and said "You, I think I love you I just wanted that said in case we dont all make it" Kelly stunned by this got a burst of courage as both she and Chazz walked over to the door. Chazz opened the door only to be shot the moment it opened. He fell to ground. Kelly immedietly went to see if he was ok only to be shot herself and she too collapsed. Ken sprang to is feet and rushed to see who had done this. When he saw the person standing in the doorway, horror filled his eyes, for the person standing in the doorway was none other than Ririko. Ken asked "you mean, it was you? the whole time, it was you?" Ririko said "yes Ken, the whole time it was me" Than she picked up the gun and aimed it at Ken He asked "before you kill me, I need to know why. Why did you do this? After all I have done for you, after all I gave you, why? Ririko with tears in her eyes said "because, i have to, Ganner demands it" Than she fired the gun. Ken stunned that she actually went through with it stood there briefly but than he put his hand on the area in which she shot him and than he sunk to his knees and than fell over. Ririko with even more tears in her eyes walked to the door and before she walked out she said "Im sorry guys, Im sorry" Than she walked out and closed the door behind her. Jaden was determined to get out. He would stop at nothing to get out. He started to rapidly pound the door hoping it would give in. but it didnt. But it did get the attention of Jake who was making sure Jaden didnt do something stupid. so he walked in and kicked Jaden to the floor. he pointed a handgun at Jaden and said "you know, you are really becomming an annoyance to me, I think Ill end my misery now by end your pathetic life" Jake prepared to fire the gun but Jaden jumped him and they both fell to the floor. A struggle ensued and the gun than went off. Than blood could be seen dripping from one of the 2. Valon, Brier, and Noah finally came to the door again. Valon Brier "ok tell me the code" Brier said to him "no Ill enter it" Valon said "fine that, suit yourself" Brier entered the numbers into the password machine. Valon asked, "can you at least tell me how you knew the code?" Brier answered "Simple, there are 6 numbers here, you are supposed to add every 2 numbers together and enter them in so I entered 12, 31, 65. Than he pressed the enter button. The door slowly began to open. However, than the walls of the catacombs began to shake the the immediete area began to crumble Valon yelled out "GET DOWN" he, Noah, and Brier ducked to the floor. Suddenly the ceiling of the catacombs and even the walls themselves caved in on top of the three. Valon looked up and saw the rocks piling on top of him. As the rocks fell, he closed his eyes and said, "IM sorry." Than the rocks completely covered Valon, Brier, and Noah. Alister suddenly saw 2 shadows approaching from the direction they were headed he immedietly told Leon to run but Leon was frozen in fear. Alister saw the shadow of a gun in the hands of one of the shadow which were coming ever closer. Alister yelled out again "LEON, RUN!" This time he took off and Leon followed him. Suddenly, the 2 people, covered in black fired a gun which hit Leon. Leon fell to the ground. Alister seeing Leon laying there rushed to help him but the other intruder(the one who didnt fire the gun) snuck behind him and hit him over the head with a rock, knocking him out immedetly. Alisten fell to the ground and the 2 people stood over their 2 victims. Ryo and Sho had probably hugged for about 5 minutes. They were both so happy to finally see each other. Sho suddenly remembered what he had discovered. He pulled away from Ryo and said "Ryo, i know who our brother is, your twin, hes been among us the whole time" Ryo asked "you mean, hes another of the survivors?" Sho said "yes". Ryo asked "well than who is it?" Sho said "its" Suddenly a bomb that was hidden in the room went off and the force of it threw both Ryo and Sho to the ground. Ryo rapped his arms around Sho to protect him but the force knock the 2 apart. Than the whole place in which they were in blew up, the entire house(or building) flames burned on the remains of the house, cyndered pieces of wood and frame which covered Ryo and Sho. EXTERMINATION...TO BE CONTINUED-NEXT SEASON.

Thank you all for a good first season and I hope you can support me through season 2.