PDA

View Full Version : I can never ~short poem~


fallen_angel
March 2nd, 2006, 05:44 AM
HEy everybody here was a poem I made a long time ago, but forgot to post it.

I can never get you out of my mind,
I can never stop worrying about you,
Everywhere I go its you I try to find,
Blame me you can even sue.

But I can never look away.
I can never do just that,
since you own my only friendship,
since you own my whole heart.

Did you like it?

.: Kira Yamato :.
March 3rd, 2006, 09:49 PM
angel, I love this poem, please continue to make more for pc to read...it reminds me of my girlfriend ^^ 10/10

fallen_angel
March 4th, 2006, 10:36 AM
Thanks Kira Yamato. ^_^ I appreciate it.

Smarties-chan
March 4th, 2006, 11:34 AM
Bravo! Another masterpiece from you _^^

The flow gets interupted in the Everywhere I go its you I try to find,
Blame me you can even sue.
part though

fallen_angel
March 4th, 2006, 11:59 AM
hmmm...Yeah that's true. I couldn't think of what else to put. So I just put the first thing that popped in my mind. Thanks. :)

Midori Chi
March 12th, 2006, 07:31 PM
Yay! ^^ It's nice. Keep up the good work. But I found a few...I guess you could say punctuation errors. Instead of all the commas, you could use periods:



I can never get you out of my mind.
I can never stop worrying about you.
Everywhere I go it's you I try to find.
Blame me, you can even sue.

But I can never look away.
I can never do just that,
since you own my only friendship.
Since you own my whole heart.

fallen_angel
March 13th, 2006, 10:02 AM
Haha okay thanks Midori chi a.k.a sissy. ^_^

Persona
March 13th, 2006, 10:08 AM
i really like this poem, even though its short......it shows a lot of affection and passion. its very good, keep working on poems ^^

fallen_angel
March 13th, 2006, 10:11 AM
Thanks I try to show lots of emotion in my poems. ^_^

phantom_zangetsu
March 22nd, 2006, 05:40 PM
oh...that's nice...small but really great...kinda inspires me....hey, i tried to pm you, but your pm box is full

fallen_angel
March 22nd, 2006, 05:59 PM
O okay i'll send another PM to you. ^_^ Thanks.