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View Full Version : A Love Poem.......


Persona
March 4th, 2006, 06:16 PM
This is a poem i wrote for my gf.........
When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll never really know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You."

any comments on if its good, bad or should i make some changes?

Jirachi-master
March 5th, 2006, 07:02 AM
Everytime I see one piece, the version 4kids dubbed
I long to see the original, the one that is subbed.
Everytime I see a finger in place of a gun
I long to see the original, which is twice as fun
and every time I hear of them, i want to sing
I hate 4kids and I want to hit them with a hammer on a spring.


Its short but I like it. Tell me what you think.

Amy-chan
March 5th, 2006, 01:21 PM
Everytime I see one piece, the version 4kids dubbed
I long to see the original, the one that is subbed.
Everytime I see a finger in place of a gun
I long to see the original, which is twice as fun
and every time I hear of them, i want to sing
I hate 4kids and I want to hit them with a hammer on a spring.


Its short but I like it. Tell me what you think.
Dear sir, if you wish to post a poem, please make your own thread. Posting your own poem in another's thread is spam, unless you are using it to demonstrate to the poet how to improve. Otherwise, it is off-topic. Besides, your poem is rather inadequate in the first place.

Anyway, DragonSlayerRyan, your poem is not bad. It is heartfelt and emotive, and that is always a good thing.