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Eliana
March 5th, 2006, 05:54 AM
Dedicated to any biased criticizer of poetry or anything along the lines of that.

Toxic Narcissism

Droplets of malice fall entranced
from your acidic fangs of controversy;
They strike me so viciously; the venom flowing through my veins.
These violent days tick by in unison as they spiral into nights;
This ridicule never ends.

I cannot distinguish right from wrong
as I am nothing but a failed perfectionist;
An endless parade of falling errors
consisting of my constant mistakes and idiocy.
For these are the ingredients to my imagination;
My shallow creativity.

Your better judgment lacks pure logic;
It shields you from what I truly am.
For I bear no mask, no petty disguise.
There are simply details you refuse to see;
The truth you hide from so consistently.

Your artificial blindness decides a future
that is far too corrupted to change;
An eternal cascade of stinging offense, manipulating strategy that never existed;
For behind this door are the cracked bones of fallen poets and deformed dreams;
The very worst of my dreaded nightmares.

This mirror casts your sick reflection
of gory elements that I despise;
They mock me, absorbing all joy from this demolished oasis.
Forever polluted by your glowering presence;
An unnerving atmosphere you seem to birth.

Burning my insides with rage and ire
as flaming daggers stab me;
I fall through your cyclone; a whirlwind of melodious frenzy.
I find myself trapped in your twisted criticism.

Apathy redeems me as I laugh at your identity;
Your skeleton diminished to a miniscule nothing.
A victim of delusions from a rotting past.
You drown into some unknown abyss of melancholy
as I watch you fade into a tempest of lust;
Your cruelty dissipates.

Fallen to your deadly poison;
Your soul now brims with lost desire.
Narcisstic dreams of what you never were;
Of distant dimensions where you actually breathe;
I watch you write in madness.

Your sweet demise is my revenge
as your horrors betray you, chasing you through alleyways in this hideous night.
Grotesque shadows of my darkest fears tear your limbs apart, piece by piece;
You live no more.

I overcome your attack as I watch the dawn,
rising so peacefully over a dreamy horizon;
a landscape untouched by your infested vision.
Then I realized that your existence bore nothing.
Your once feared name a hallucination of the truth.

Then I remembered what you really were;
An obscurity of the reality, a dream unaccomplished;
A narcisstic particle lost in the nightmares of yesterday.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
March 7th, 2006, 06:58 PM
I'm not a fan of poems that don't rhyme, but this is the kind of poem that makes me want to be one. This writing describes in an awesome and metaphorical way the feeling; The sensation of being condemned by oneself to bear an excessive self importance and after all, knowing it's poison for life. At least that's what I think it means. ZD

9.9/10

Thomas
March 8th, 2006, 04:53 AM
I'm not a fan of poems that don't rhyme, but this is the kind of poem that makes me want to be one. This writing describes in an awesome and metaphorical way the feeling; The sensation of being condemned by oneself to bear an excessive self importance and after all, knowing it's poison for life. At least that's what I think it means. ZD

9.9/10I was just talking about this yesterday with some people, that aren't "fans" of rhyming poetry. Many poets will uses non rhyming poetry because it is hard to pull of a GREAT rhyme...not just a simple one. And many people, who are ignorant, think that just because a poem doesn't rhyme that it isn't good. Not true. Anyway...

...Great poem Eli...you should try publishing your things, or at least get them copyrighted!

Eliana
March 8th, 2006, 03:18 PM
Oh. XDD Well, I've moved away from rhyming poetry for now.


Indeed, poetry does sound unique when rhyming, but there's a certain feel that can be reached only with nonrhyming poetry. I can be more flexible. It's not that rhyming is hard for me, heaven forbid...I've been using rhyming poetry for 3 years, I just wanted a new style...

I'm getting my stuff submitting to a literature mag. at my school, if that counts...XD I'm the editor.