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lugia_lover
March 12th, 2006, 09:02 AM
This is a story I've just started, I wanted to know what everybody thought before I continue.

Silver Dream
I felt cold and strange. The wind outside caused the branches to scratch the window, and the many Dark Pokemon prowled in the moonlight. I cuddled my toy Lugia, Silverwing and crawled under the bed covers. I thought about the time when Lugia came to our land and how he had protected us from the storm. I believed in him.

Suddenly the window flew open and a black figure leapt inside on a Shadow Rapidash. I screamed and squeezed Silverwing. The figure laughed and muttered strange words under her breath. I looked at her in horror as she threw herself of the Rapidash and walked over to me. She put a hand on my shoulder and whispered, “Do not worry young one. For I, Semprini, know what you want.” I could tell it was a woman.
I gulped and said, “No, I don’t want to.”
“Don’t want to what? Come with me,” She beckoned.
“No.” I whispered.
“Then you leave me no choice. Nytshade.” She called to the Rapidash. Nytshade shook its black mane and walked up to her. Semprini muttered to the moon, “ Darkness come, and Darkness go. Bring utter shock to this foe and when morning comes make her woe.” She then shot out of the window and laughed.
I hugged Silverwing and cried myself to sleep.
A strange feeling awakened me. My wrist was hurting and it felt swollen. I looked down at it, noticing I could see a lot clearer in the dark. I gasped as I saw my hand was gone. In its place was a beautiful white wing. I looked at my other one, also a wing. I looked in the mirror and fell over in shock. There was a beautiful Lugia staring back at me. I opened my mouth. The Lugia did the same. Then it hit me I was the Lugia.

Aegis
March 13th, 2006, 05:11 PM
Looks good, I'll be checking back to see if there is more!

Light_Azumarill
March 14th, 2006, 12:10 PM
*dies from cuteness because of lugia_lover's avatar* Sooo cuute! XD Anyway...

Yeah I agree, go ahead and continue it! I think a little more length would help it out, because it's a little short. You were pretty good at describing things, so that part was okay. There were a few grammar mistakes, so make sure you re-read it, but trust me, there were far fewer mistakes than many other stories I've seen.

Good luck!

Madow
March 26th, 2006, 03:07 AM
Excellent! I loved it!
Please continue...