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View Full Version : The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer


FSwenson
March 15th, 2006, 03:04 PM
I have a number of stories to share, and I hope that others will be inclined to add more stories from their own lines of work.

First let me give you a little background:

I work in a college registrars office for a school called Eisenhower University - see eisenhoweruniversity . com. My division deals with prior learning assessment (PLA) and evaluation for people with work experience and/or previous college credits that they could turn into an Eisenhower degree. Every day our office gets calls and emails from all around the country, and I have the pleasure of speaking to a number of upstanding individuals who think they could get a Master's Degree in Engineering because they once "built a do-it-yourself radio kit." While we mail out degrees in many trades for work experience, we're not going to give you an Accounting Degree because your aunt was an accountant five years ago and you once "balanced your own checkbook." If you expect a university to grant you a degree based on work experience you should have actually, you know, worked in the field for a number of years.

What makes things worse is that the hippies at my university recently artifically lowered the PLA fees to ridiculous levels due to of some kind of "education should be free or almost free" mentality. That means my office gets bombarded with inquiries 24/7 from idiots with no any qualifications or work references at all, who want to trick us into giving them a degree.

- Story 1 -

Earlier today I had a call from a redneck wanting to apply with us. During the conversation this is what transpired:

Me: May I have your zip code please?

Him: Zip code? You mean 804?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry I meant your 5 digit zip code

Him: Hold on, HONEY!! WHATS THE ZIP CODE!!

Me: *pause*

Him: We don't know, I just want to sign up for the PLA program

Me: Absolutely. I will be happy to help you further; what state do you live in?

Him: STATE? the UNITED STATES!

- Story 2 -

Often we'll get clueless people who are so out of touch with technology that its laughable. Here's a snippet from a conversation with a 40 year old guy about applying for our work experience degree program online.

Me: What version of Windows are you running?

Them: Hold on, let me check.

Me: OK.

Them: They're thermal.

Me: I...I beg your pardon?

Them: The windows are thermal.

Me: ...

- Story 3 -

Last week a lady called in who was having trouble accessing her student account on our website. I don't know why she called our office, since tech support is a different division entirely. But after a little trial and error we were able to get her account fixed and everything squared away. The tail end of our conversation went like this:

Me: Well, seems like everything is working, is there anything else I can help you with?

Her: Yeah, don't use anti-perspirant! Wanna know why?

Me: Not really, but I bet you're going to tell me.

Her: Because it causes cancer! Look at the first ingredient, it's aluminum! It gives you the cancer!

Me: Well, that's good to know ma'am, have a good day!

Her: Wait!! Do you know why 9/11 really happened? George Bush ordered it! There were secret Nesara computers in the sub-sections underneath the WTC!

Me: Wow, amazing.

Her: I'm part of this secret agency tied to Nesara, and we're planning on overthrowing the government! Here's a few links you should check out, and tell all your friends about!

Me: Will do ma'am, thank you for calling.

Her: No no! Wait! Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara !!!!!!

The call lasted about 40 minutes after I fixed her problem, and since I can't hang up on students I had to sit there and listen to these awesome stories. She went on and on about Nesara, and how I should watch the news because something huge was going to happen in the next few days. Of course nothing did. God I love my job.

FSwenson
March 15th, 2006, 03:05 PM
I have more stories if you guys are interested. I'll probably be back later tonight since I have some important things to do at the moment.

Psycho
March 15th, 2006, 03:33 PM
Do refrain from double-posting as it is illegal on PC >_>

However, to contribute to the topic, I must say that the most ridiculous thing I can recall of hearing from a customer is:
Cashier: Paper or plastic?
Customer: Cardboard.

I find that to be ever so humorous.

Psycho

Dawg 2005
March 15th, 2006, 03:43 PM
Haha, I like this thread.

Cashier:That will be $50.
Customer:Oh sorry, I only have $45.
Cashier:Well put this back.
Customer:Will that bring the price down?

I was in awe. XD

Chase Leader
March 15th, 2006, 09:18 PM
Well nothing amsuses me anymore...for instance now everything is annoying and the customer should know better.

Cashier: Your total comes to $5.
Customer: Well the price over there says $3.
Cashier: Price Check to Register One.
Customer: I'm kinda in a hurry...
Cashier 2: Well the price does say $5...and the sign above it (or near it, for a different item) says $3.
Customer: Well I guess I didn't see that...
Cashier: (Argggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) alright is that all for you then":classic:" alright you have a good day...

I mean come on can't they read...

Ryoutarou
March 15th, 2006, 09:31 PM
I have more stories if you guys are interested. I'll probably be back later tonight since I have some important things to do at the moment.
Please do...I haven't laughed that much in quite a while.

Drummershuff
March 16th, 2006, 12:36 AM
Hah, That was funny. XD I haven't laughed as much for ages.

Kim
March 16th, 2006, 12:49 PM
When I worked in Victoria's Secret, some woman repeatedly told me not to show her any thongs, as she doesn't like objects being protruded into her. I don't know what her deal was.

And when I was doing a return for someone, some guy came up with a crumpled bag and wanted to exchange his purchases for store credit. I just nonchalantly said "oh, did your girlfriend not like the undies?" "No, they were too small for my sister." .................wtf. Who buys g-strings for their sisters?

FSwenson
March 16th, 2006, 03:13 PM
Here's another antecdote:

As a teenager I worked in a Domino's pizza. One day some guy came into my work and asked if he could buy cupcakes and have us bake them on his pizza.

He was very fat and very serious.

And one more:

A few years ago I was working in the tech shop of a CompUSA. I had a customer give me grief for shaking a CD-R. He eyed me angrily and snapped, "Don't do that! You'll make all the data fall off!"

Drifblim
March 16th, 2006, 03:33 PM
If I may include my experiences as cashier, I had a customer tell another about me, 'That's the [expletive] that has issues with us using up his bags!' Which of course, got gawks from the other people in the store. And they shut right up after that and paid me no further attention.

Dawg 2005
March 16th, 2006, 06:11 PM
When I worked in Victoria's Secret, some woman repeatedly told me not to show her any thongs, as she doesn't like objects being protruded into her. I don't know what her deal was.

And when I was doing a return for someone, some guy came up with a crumpled bag and wanted to exchange his purchases for store credit. I just nonchalantly said "oh, did your girlfriend not like the undies?" "No, they were too small for my sister." .................wtf. Who buys g-strings for their sisters?
I really hope the second one was sarcasm, xD.

A few years ago I was working in the tech shop of a CompUSA. I had a customer give me grief for shaking a CD-R. He eyed me angrily and snapped, "Don't do that! You'll make all the data fall off!"
XDDD! I will definitly check this thread alot.

Kim
March 17th, 2006, 06:33 AM
[QUOTE=Dawg 2005]I really hope the second one was sarcasm, xD.[QUOTE]

Ehh...I can usually tell when people were joking. Of course teenage white boys dressed as "gangstaz" were there as a joke and would say all sorts of things. But this guy was in his 40's/50's...I think he was serious. Just a bit disturbed. I kind of left it at that, and just returned his stuff.

What's more disturbing is, I don't know what we did with the used stuff that we exchanged/allowed to be returned. I only went in the back room when we had to get mannequinns and such, so ehh...those used underwears could be anywhere. I feel bad if people bought them...used.

Melody
March 19th, 2006, 05:34 PM
*shivers*
disturbing aint the word for it....
more like....PERVERT!

Chikara
March 20th, 2006, 05:26 AM
I actualy had the comment that got me fired...^^' Im14, and this woman got me so frickin fired up...

Her: how old are you? You seem too young to work here

Me: Im 14

Her: Really? Oh, the youngins...Always so short these days

Me: *pause* *getting mad*

Her: Oh well...How tall are you? You look around oh...4 feet?

Me: How old are you? You look about 83 years



I was fired lol

Geometric-sama
March 20th, 2006, 09:51 PM
She sounds really horrible. @_@ You were provoked, you shouldn't have been fired ._.

JA needs a job~

Drifblim
March 21st, 2006, 03:29 AM
And other curious questions: 'Do we bag or not?'

Chikara
March 21st, 2006, 06:35 AM
She sounds really horrible. @_@ You were provoked, you shouldn't have been fired ._.

JA needs a job~

Thanks, its good to know I have 1 person on my side...-.- lol

Esupio
March 21st, 2006, 12:29 PM
My dad had some wierd experiences in a shop he used to work in

Some guy: I'd like a daily mail (or something) please
Dad: sorry but we're out of stock
S G: I said I'd like a daily mail
Dad: I'm sorry Sir but I the daily mail is sold out
S G: Kids these days, never understand a word adult's say

That was like when my dad was 16 and he's 50 something now O.o

Kim
March 22nd, 2006, 09:00 AM
Thanks, its good to know I have 1 person on my side...-.- lol

hahaha. wtf. You think tha'ts the LEAST of what you'll get on the job?

To handle a job, you should have a level of maturity. Granted, some can only take so much. But that is NOTHING compared to what you'll get someday at some other job. You should not have made that comment. You should have just done your job and left it at that.

Zelos
March 22nd, 2006, 09:11 AM
hahaha. wtf. You think tha'ts the LEAST of what you'll get on the job?

To handle a job, you should have a level of maturity. Granted, some can only take so much. But that is NOTHING compared to what you'll get someday at some other job. You should not have made that comment. You should have just done your job and left it at that.

Well, some people just can't take insults. << They find it very rude and don't like to help people that do it. I for one wouldn't have been able to handle it, that woman would have so deserved it.

Drifblim
March 22nd, 2006, 07:45 PM
I've hit customers back with far worse and I'm still holding the same job. As of May I'll have been there a year.

Persona
March 22nd, 2006, 07:49 PM
Well, some people just can't take insults. << They find it very rude and don't like to help people that do it. I for one wouldn't have been able to handle it, that woman would have so deserved it.

yes, agreed....i'd find it hard to take insults like that XD btw, firefox that was a good one

Kim
March 23rd, 2006, 11:54 AM
And I bet ya'll don't have jobs.

Jobs worth some credentials, anyway.

Or you're lying.

Or your boss is a piece of crap.

You're supposed to be above the idiot customers, don't you know that?

yaminokaitou
March 27th, 2006, 04:03 PM
I work at a library, and one time I had this woman come up in the large print section and ask me if I knew of any books that didn't have "bad words" in them. She said she was "sick of reading books with bad words in them", and she thought that "the only reason they are in there is because of the author".
Well, yeah.

I did manage to find her some books without "bad words" (hopefully, anyway), but it WAS a little amusing.

We've also had Baptists come in and try to save us. My one co-worker had the Bible read to her and was quizzed on it afterwards. O-o

We also had a person urinate in the 800s because he was mad because he couldn't find the bathroom. -_-

Kurosaki
March 27th, 2006, 04:12 PM
Lets see, I work at Subway, just so we have that down first.

Anyways, on Saturday night, this old man came in and got a sub. All was going fine until I got to the vegetable section of the counter. Suddenly, this guy just starts going on about all of the perverts in Korea, Japan, something like that, and it just got awkward from there... xx;

Geometric-sama
March 27th, 2006, 08:52 PM
It would have been awkward considering you're one of them :P

yaminokaitou
March 28th, 2006, 05:25 PM
It would have been awkward considering you're one of them :P

That reminds me of the time when I went to Borders to buy a manga.
As I was checking out this woman started ranting about her daughter and how obsessed she was about anime to me. She even *gasp* wrote reviews and summaries of her favorite shows.
I, being an anime fan myself, merely smiled and nodded, and, if I could, sweatdropped.

Kim
March 31st, 2006, 07:13 AM
We also had a person urinate in the 800s because he was mad because he couldn't find the bathroom. -_-

ahahhahahaa. That's hilarious.

You should have called the cops. He'd have gotten a citation.

~*!*~Tatsujin Gosuto~*!*~
March 31st, 2006, 12:14 PM
This guy was yelling for a really long time because he didn't have enough money for something (he was also cussing)

:t003:Dark Venusaur

Kalylia
April 2nd, 2006, 05:04 AM
Kay, I used to work at a Cafe, and this is one of the reasons I quit. (Well, along with the fact that I couldn't stand my boss there...)

This pregnant lady and her husband and family came in to the Cafe and had lunch. All fine and dandy, I was in a great mood that day. I did my job well. At first anyways...

Dessert came around, and the pregnant lady decided she wanted a milkshake. I was the only waitress who even liked doing them, so I was pretty excited. I made the shake and gave it to her, and a few seconds later, was flagged down.

"My shake is too thin."

So I made her a different one, no questions asked. She was pregnant, I wasn't going to complain.

A few seconds later...

"This one's not mixed well enough..."

Well, now I was getting pretty angry. So I made her ANOTHER chocolate milkshake.

Few seconds later...

"This one isn't even close to TASTING like it has chocolate IN it!"

I lost it then... I'd made a new milkshake for that lady THREE TIMES!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!

Lokhlan
April 2nd, 2006, 11:24 PM
I assistant manage a convenient store so I get a lot of freaks and morons pretty regularly, which as you may have guessed makes for some pretty interesting events.

Sometimes people take one step into my store and without even looking around or anything, ask me: "Where is the coffee bar located at?", "Do you guys serve fountain drinks?", "Where’s the restroom?". Other times I'll be standing directly behind the counter to check out someone and the person nearest after seeing me looking straight at them ask "Are you open, can you check me out?" No, I've only been standing here waiting on your slow you-know-what to not check you out after all, so ha! Yeah, don't worry. I don't verbalize my gruel thoughts, I just keep them inside, which is probably good. Wouldn't be cool if I scarred someones fragile mind with my hateful thoughts. Heh, if some of you knew what I was thinking sometimes, you might actually find it funny. XD

All of the above, more or less, may just be pet peeves on my part, but either way I find customers extremely ridiculous at times. I'm sure I'll have some more stuff to share with ya fairly soon.

Kylie-chan
April 3rd, 2006, 12:38 AM
Kay, I used to work at a Cafe, and this is one of the reasons I quit. (Well, along with the fact that I couldn't stand my boss there...)

This pregnant lady and her husband and family came in to the Cafe and had lunch. All fine and dandy, I was in a great mood that day. I did my job well. At first anyways...

Dessert came around, and the pregnant lady decided she wanted a milkshake. I was the only waitress who even liked doing them, so I was pretty excited. I made the shake and gave it to her, and a few seconds later, was flagged down.

"My shake is too thin."

So I made her a different one, no questions asked. She was pregnant, I wasn't going to complain.

A few seconds later...

"This one's not mixed well enough..."

Well, now I was getting pretty angry. So I made her ANOTHER chocolate milkshake.

Few seconds later...

"This one isn't even close to TASTING like it has chocolate IN it!"

I lost it then... I'd made a new milkshake for that lady THREE TIMES!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!
OMFG! I would have charged her for all three. X3

*~Ashley~*
April 3rd, 2006, 10:32 AM
Other times I'll be standing directly behind the counter to check out someone and the person nearest after seeing me looking straight at them ask "Are you open, can you check me out?" No, I've only been standing here waiting on your slow you-know-what to not check you out after all, so ha!
I hate when people ask me that. <<; I work as a cashier at a grocery store... so I'm obviously behind the registers a lot. And I always get people that ask me if I'm open. No, I just have my register light on and am standing here for no apparent reason, I mean really... use some common sense. People also tend to think that the "Express: 12 items and under" sign means I'm closed. O.o;

I get a lot of people that complain about really stupid things that don't ring up exactly how they would like them to. It's not my fault, I don't price the items. <<; But yeah, this one guy was being a real pain. My store has this coin program where you can win coins that can be used to save money on certain items. Well, this guy had a silver coin that he wanted to use on chicken. But the chicken he picked out was not a coin item. (The ones he had, however, were buy one get one free... but that apparently wasn't good enough for him...) I looked in the pamphlet to see what kind he needed for the coin, and he went to look for it. He came back about 5 minutes later with some more chicken, again the wrong kind. He was getting ticked off at me, so I called over a manager. They walked with him to see if they could figure out what kind it was. They had no idea either. He got mad and started complaining to them. Keep in mind though, he didn't have any clue what kind of chicken he needed either. But he insisted on buying it because it would be on sale with a coin. About a half hour later, he finally gave up and bought the rest of his groceries. Then... about 5 minutes later he comes back to complain some more. This time he yelled at me because I didn't scan one of his coupons. I think it was for like, 10 cents off of something. <<; I told him there was no such coupon, but he said there was. I had to dig through all of my coupons to prove to him that I was right. Gah, he was annoying...

Drifblim
April 5th, 2006, 07:19 PM
I get that a lot. In a store, a lot of the customers are 'n00bs' in a sense. They sometimes whiff right by the Express tab and plunk down a hundred items when they rweally should have put down only twelve....They ask if I was open if my light is on, indicating so....I get people complaining that the interface is misleading....And often when they complain that the price is wrong, I'm able to prove them wrong by showing them the tag.