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code zerro the deluge
April 18th, 2006, 01:01 PM
Sexy lady I wanna rock your world.
Sexy lady give me your number girl.

Sexy lady I wanna rock your world.
Sexy lady give me your number girl.


Sexy lady you should be my baby.
So that I can call you my lady.
I love you wooohoo.
Can't see my self with out you
I buy you things but you pay me no attention at first
But know we so close as if riden in a hurse

Sexy lady I wanna rock your world.
Sexy lady give me your number girl.

Sexy lady I wanna rock your world.
Sexy lady give me your number girl.

I wanna be closser than friends
See this happeneig to the end
Time is not and obsticle it is mine
So why do you ask is it true
Heck yeah girl I love you
Pink-Tiger I want you to understand
That your my girl and I am your man

Kalylia
April 18th, 2006, 02:18 PM
Kay, I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really need to start paying more attention to grammar and spelling. You're getting much better in the actual poetry department, though you still have a ways to go. We all do, as I'm fairly sure there aren't any poet lauriets running around here... Anyways, that's something that you NEED to work more on. Other than that, keep it up.

Johnny Boy~
April 18th, 2006, 02:35 PM
hey, that is a nice poem, since i see how you mean that you love her. i have never met her, so i cant tell you how she would feel. i hope you don't get turned down.

pink-tiger
April 18th, 2006, 04:57 PM
ehh..no..I wont do that to him..its nice...thanks zerro!!^^
I love you to...^^

phantom_zangetsu
April 18th, 2006, 05:07 PM
wow...nice zero...is that for my lil' sis? LOL! oh! right almost forgot...kay! ill work on it now!

code zerro the deluge
April 19th, 2006, 01:25 PM
thanx you guys. I go wit pink-tiger.

Occ. yeah it's alright phantom.

fallen_angel
April 19th, 2006, 03:38 PM
That's a nice poem.You repeat alot of stuff but I guess it helps the poem seem more in sync. Hello pink-tiger, her pair, and my pair. haha. That's so weird.

Midori Chi
April 19th, 2006, 04:43 PM
I think the repeat is like a chorus in a song, sissy. XD

I liked it. Your rhyming's pretty good and your rhythm is pretty good as well.
^_^

Keep it up.

code zerro the deluge
April 19th, 2006, 04:55 PM
thanx two. I apreciate it. thanx a lot.

Gardy
April 19th, 2006, 05:14 PM
Ah it is very nice ^^ one thing I'd watch out for is grammer. It is very sweet though. ^w^

code zerro the deluge
April 20th, 2006, 03:25 PM
thanx Gardy. Thanx a lot. thanx everyone.