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Colbat
April 22nd, 2006, 03:04 PM
The Riviera Region

Please DO NOT post in this topic...

I will be adding Sprites and location pictures to the fan-fic ASAP!

Prologue: In the wide region of Riviera, there are many mysteries within... Many secrets to unveil and enemys to take down... Silver, a boy who just moved to Riviera finds himself making many friends and also some enemys... So enjoy the story of Riviera.

Characters:


Name: Silver
Age: 14
Current Pokemon: Jirachi, Munchlax
Side: Hero

Name: Alisha
Age: 13
Current Pokemon: Mew, Pikachu
Side: Hero


Name: Sakura
Age: 14
Current Pokemon: Celebi
Side: Hero


Name: Cullin
Age: 15
Current Pokemon: None
Side: Enemy


Name: Ryan
Age: 15
Current Pokemon: None
Side: Enemy
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Credits:
Writer: Silver92
Spriting (Coming Soon!): Dark-Umbreon

Colbat
April 22nd, 2006, 03:42 PM
"Silver... wake up..." said Silver's mom. "Time to get up... its 9:00..."

Silver stood up on the side of his bed and stretched. He walked to his closet, got some clothes, and got dressed. He ran down stairs and sat at the table.

"Mom... what day is it?" asked Silver.

"Um... Let me see... It's Tuesday." said his mom.

"Oh no... I'm gonna be late to get my Pokemon!" said Silver worried.

Silver ran out of the door very fast without even eating breakfast. When he entered the lab, which wasn't very far from his house, there was no one to be seen. He started to walk around, trying to find the Professor.

"Professor?" asked Silver, "Are you there?"

"Who is that..." came a voice from the back of the building. "Are you one of the new Trainers?"

"Yeah... I came because I saw the ads all over town..." said Silver kind of shaky.

"Then welcome... I am Professor Gem... I see you're here for the Elite Trainer class... We have three Pokemon... Jirachi, Celebi, and Mew..." said the Professor.

"I would like a..." started Silver until he was interupted by the Professor"s daughter, Alisha.

"Come on mom... I want my Pokemon..." said Alisha.

"I'm in the middle of something right now... it's Silver's turn..." said the Professor.

"Ok......" said Alisha very sadly.

"Now go on Silver" said the Professor.

"Ok... I would like a Jirachi please..." said Silver very anxiously.

"Ok here you go..." said the Professor handing Silver the Pokeball containing the Jirachi.

"Thank you... Bye..." said Silver running out the door of the lab.

Silver add almost made it to the route heading toward Amethyst City when Alisha ran beside him...

"Um... Silver, I'm sorry for what happened at the lab earlier. I have a Pokemon now, a Mew..." said Alisha. "Can I go with you on your journey, please..." asked Alisha.

"Sure" said Silver.

Both Alisha and Silver started walking on the path to the next city awaiting all their future challenges...

Colbat
April 22nd, 2006, 06:01 PM
Silver and Alisha were walking down the trail, which leads the Amethyst City, when the heard a loud groan.

"I wonder what that was?" said Alisha looking around kind of nervous.

"Have no idea..." said Silver, "Probably just the wind in the trees."

So they kept walking when the heard another groan. When the turned around there was a Munchlax rubbing its stomach.

"Oh... It looks hungry." said Silver.

"It also looks like a fat slob...." Alisha put in.

Silver took out a chocolate bar from his backpack. When the Munchlax saw the Chocolate it stated jumping in excitement.

"Wow... here you go." said Silver handing the candy bar to the starving Munchlax.

The Munchlax sat down and started eating the choclate. After it was done, it still didn't look full.

"No more food!" said Alisha worried that there would not be enough food for the trip.

"Come on Alisha... Look how hungry it is..." said Silver with a smile on his face. "I'll catch it!" said Silver throwing a Pokeball.

The Munchlax was too slow to dodge so the Pokeball opened and it flew in.

"Yeah! I got a Pokemon" said Silver.

Alisha turned around facing the other way...

"Oh well... maybe I'll have a chance later." said Alisha jealously.

So they started back on their journey to Amethyst City...

oni flygon
April 22nd, 2006, 06:13 PM
Um... it's very Mary Sue to have the starters as the unobtainables. Just to start out. Well, I can see this story leaning towards more Mary Sue-ism.

Your story lacks in several elements of the story and especially descriptions. What do the trainers look like? What do their surroundings look like? How do they feel in certain situations and how they interact to it. And I can see that you probably typed this up in a reply box rather than in a word processor, which is another problem. All in all, you have a long way to go and I suggest that you read these threads if you want to improve:

http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=46646
http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=27806

Colbat
April 22nd, 2006, 06:32 PM
Chapter 3: Big Top Trouble in Amethyst

Silver and Alisha finally reached Amethyst City. When the got there they where greeted by a Pokemon Trainer named Sakura...

"Hello..." said Sakura. "Did you know that the Big Top is in town?" asked Sakura.

"Yay!" said Alisha. "Finally something I can enjoy." She made an evil look toward Silver.

"Oh, sorry... Forgot to introduce myself... I'm Sakura..." said Sakura.

"Oh yeah... I'm Silver and she's Alisha..." said Silver, "Would you like to come with us to the Circus? I'll pay..." asked Silver.

"Sure... and thank you..." said Sakura.

They walked across the city until the saw an area that was covered with tents... and in the center was one big tent. When they were on their way they passed a samll tent. They heard fussing an yelling within.

"This Pokemon is a waste of flesh..." said aloud voice.

"Pikka..." said a Pikachu that sounded very sad and hurt.

All of a sudden Alisha ran into the tent...

"Stop it!" yelled Alisha., "Leave the poor Pokemon alone!"

A big man turned around and looked at Alisha. He had a large whip in his right hand. The Pikachu was sitting right next to him and had humongous red marks on its back.

"Oh look.... It's a little girl... How cute she stands up for the useless Pikachu." said the man.

Silver and Sakura followed behind Alisha into the tent.

"I'll battle you for the Pikachu!" said Alisha.

"Then lets battle little girl!" said the man.

"Go! Mew!" said Alisha sending out the Pokemon she got from her mother.

"Go Pikachu!" said the man.

Silver and Sakura were kind of worried because they know that she was battling for her first time.

"Mew! Use Psycic!" said Alisha.

The Pikachu would not move from the attack because it was too weak from all the beatings of the whip. It was hit and badly damaged.

The Pikachu turned around limping, but still ready to fight. All of a sudden it turned around and used a Thunder on the man. The man fell to the ground with static all around. The Pikachu ran up to Alisha...

"Pika Pi...." said Pikachu.

"Oh, are you ok?" asked Alisha. "Here come in the Pokeball and I'll take you some where safe."

The Pikachu was caught by Alisha. They ran from the tent to the nearest Poke'Center. When they got in Alisha handed the nurse the Pokeball containing the Pikachu.

"Here you go..." said the nurse handing the Pokeball containing Pikachu.

"Your safe now..." said Alisha rubbing the Pokeball on her face.

"Well that was fun..." said Silver sarcastically. "Sakura, would you like to come with us on our journey?" asked Silver.

"Sure..." said Sakura.

They all walked out the Poke'Center and started on the new trail to Aquamarine City...

Volkner's Apprentice
April 22nd, 2006, 07:08 PM
I'm not one to review but..that .... thing is really depressing =/

Colbat
April 23rd, 2006, 02:00 PM
can some one please delete this topic...

Dark-Umbreon
April 23rd, 2006, 02:02 PM
No! I like it! Continue! anyways, people should READ THE rules before posting!

Colbat
April 23rd, 2006, 02:29 PM
Close Please... don't want it any more... Working on Comics now...