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Kyoko
May 1st, 2006, 01:09 PM
Alright I posted these poems a while ago on Sppf and it's back when I found out that the guy I really liked had a girlfriend this whole time!! Hope you like^^



DON’T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE

Hand in Hand but secretly alone,
wasn’t till after all the fun that your true colors shone.

For you I went head over heels,
but now my emotions have vanished and I don’t know what to feel.

Every glance ever shared,
were things that were truly cared,

One smile was all it took to win me over,
but to recover from this pain I am nowhere near sober.

Savoring every moment I saw you,
guess it was too good to be true.

The day I found out about your true desire,
my heart caught a stray flame and started it on fire.

Please tell me that it is all a lie,
because I just can’t bring myself to say goodbye!

Poem #2 continued from the first one^^

Impossible yo make it easy if you're always tryin to make it so hard,
trying to figue out how you feel is like trying to read someones face while playing cards.

You walked right out of my life with that girl with no warning, no sign,
I was so close to calling you mine.

I sit by my window staring at the pouring rain,
no matter how hard I try I can't stop this pain.

With a simple smile you made all my days shine with light,
but now seeing you with her only brings storms and black nights.

I still tell myself to stop loving you,
but doing that only makes me more blue.

So while I sit here thinking about all the times I loved you all I can do is cry,
because like I said before and I'll say it again, I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE!

*The first line in the poem #2 was part of Christina Aguilera's song Impossible*

phantom_zangetsu
May 2nd, 2006, 04:33 AM
aww...that must really hurt huh?
well.....overall, i didnt see any spelling errors (i didnt double check it...s i dont know if there is....)

and the emotion is also sad...and as for me..i like it...
im a fan of sad-emotion-poems...LOL!

keep it up!

fallen_angel
May 2nd, 2006, 04:53 AM
Hehe I like this poem. I always try to make poems like these, but they are never good. ^_^ Good Job

Kyoko
May 2nd, 2006, 12:50 PM
Thank you^^ I have a few more depressing love ones I have that i might post up late :)

Kalylia
May 2nd, 2006, 01:53 PM
YOu had a few grammar errors and typos, but those happen. Other than that, it was a good poem. I'm not terribly fond of how you split up the stanzas, but that's just my own personal bias against couplets. It has nothing negative on your poem.

It was wonderfully emotional, and rhymed well as well. That was nice to see! Keep up the good work!

Kyoko
May 2nd, 2006, 03:17 PM
Thank you^^ , I know I have to get better with grammer and I'm glad you liked it :)