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Dsaerno
May 16th, 2006, 06:22 PM
Here's another of my poems. I hope you guys like it!

-Still-

It doesn't matter
If you're overweight.
I don't care
If you're skinny to he bone.
I'd still love you.

It doesn't matter
If you're famous and rich.
I don't care
If you're poor and begging.
I'd still love you.

It doesn't matter
If you're pure as sunlight.
Cause if you weren't
I'd still love you.

I doesn't care
If you're harboring vengence,
Murder or sin.
I'll help fix you.


It doesn't matter
If you're living next door.
I don't care
If you're halfway around the world.
I'd still love you.

It doesn't matter
If you remember me vividly.
I don't care
If you can't remember my name.
I'd still love you.

It doesn't matter
If you are not even you anymore.
Even changed,
I'd still love you.

I don't care
If you love another man.
I'll leave you alone,
But I'll never stop loving you.


I would love you no matter what.
Even if you couldn't choose for yourself
Who to love.
Because...

If you decided to love another,
I'd walk away- if it's what you want.
But I'd still,
And I'll always love you.

fallen_angel
May 27th, 2006, 07:31 PM
Hehe. Its really good. Some rhythm problems in some places, but other than that good job. ^_^

Kalylia
May 28th, 2006, 05:16 AM
It was a lovely poem!! Wonderful contradictions and I think you got to the true meaning of real love. It was nice, and I love the fact that you can feel that openly about people in general, especially the ones that mean the most.

As previously stated, there were a couple of rhythm areas and one stanza that I really noticed that got out of the form you'd set up through the rest of that. Other than that, it flowed very nicely. You also nicely used parallelism to your advantage. Nice work!

~Keep up the good work~