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Sumomo & Kotoko
May 19th, 2006, 09:49 PM
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y163/RavenMaster09/AMeNU2.jpg
Just us Two

Not a day goes by
That I sit here alone
And I wonder why
Do you love me??
Do you love me??

Even tho you've said it before
That question still lingers like
Someone waiting outside my door
Do you love me??
Do you love me??

But it doesn't matter what you say
Your in my thoughts every day
As long as its me and you
Together, forever
Just us two, just us two
We'll see it through
Just me and you

Holding you closer with
Each passing second
Holding you tighter with
Each passing day

We've grown older
In every single way
We've grown wiser
In all the words we say

But it doesn't matter what you say
Your in my thoughts every day
As long as its me and you
Together, forever
Just us two, just us two
We'll see it through
Just me and you

Time can beat us up
Through us around
Time can even kill us
Send us into the ground

But I'll still love you
If you ever pass away
My feelings for you
Are right here to stay

But it doesn't matter what you say
Your in my thoughts every day
As long as its me and you
Together, forever
Just us two, just us two
We'll see it through
Just me and you
Just me and you

Together, forever
I'll always love you
I always love you

Lily
May 19th, 2006, 09:59 PM
Interesting, albeit generic poem. Try to suppress the use of double question marks (makes it look rather childish) and be wary of you're and your.

Otherwise, like I said, a generic love poem. Nothing entirely too original, but nothing too far off. ^^;

Drifblim
May 20th, 2006, 04:09 AM
I can just imagine The Killers playing this. Well done!

Envy
May 23rd, 2006, 03:17 PM
Cool poem, gives me the chills but great!

Sumomo & Kotoko
May 24th, 2006, 10:26 PM
Thank you every one!! :)

I edited that picture in photoshop, heres the original one (http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a297/sakura_li/tsubasa.jpg).

And heres basicly a "continuation" of that song.

Again?

Here I am, again
I thought I wouldn't be back here for awhile.
I thought it would last. . .
The thought of me & you together,
That thought has passed. . .
I thought we had something,
I thought it was real.
This time it ends. . .
This time it will.
We'll still be friends,
No matter what. . .
Tell the end. . .

A love, Died 5/21/06

Persona
May 25th, 2006, 12:35 PM
Remember people, if you like the poem, say why you like it.

As for the poem in the first post, I like it. Not bad, it seems to have everything of what a standard poem should have. Good rhyme sheme. I don't see any errors that interfere with how the poem is. Nice job, continue writing.

Midori Chi
May 25th, 2006, 02:01 PM
Wow. Both were really really good. I loved it. ^_^
As Lily said, they're definetely original. Though, it's great! Please make more. They're all awesome.
Oh! And what do you mean by:

A love, Died 5/23/06

You dated it 2 days ago. Did something happen? 0.0

Sumomo & Kotoko
May 25th, 2006, 04:15 PM
Wow. Both were really really good. I loved it. ^_^
As Lily said, they're definetely original. Though, it's great! Please make more. They're all awesome.
Oh! And what do you mean by:


You dated it 2 days ago. Did something happen? 0.0
Haha, thank you.:)

Gah, stupid me, wrong date. *changes it*
There, it was ment to be the 21.

Uhh, and yes, something happend between me and a friend of mine. ¬_¬