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Persona
May 22nd, 2006, 07:47 AM
Alright, I decided to make a thread of where I can just post my poems in one place rather than make countless threads for them. Please comment, and I hope that Ozy posts here. He's really good at pointing out of what I need to work on.

Star Light, Star Bright:
Heart,
won't you lasso the moon,
kiss the prayer infested sky,
and forgive the stars
for shining so bright,
it's not their fault
you keep asking for foolish pride...

Wish a new wish for life
and grant your dreams
a reason to believe in reverie,
furnish your soul with hope
and faith shall bestow
your shark bitten heart...

Might it be a lover
echoing sweet balladry
with a beat that compliments
your own unique melody;
or a ratty old coffee cup
to console your icy cold fingers
into a poem of majestic quality,
whispering humanity rests
behind the pathetic words
of this so called prose...

Desires can be found
in four leaf clovers,
friends and sometimes even mothers,
behind the arms of time,
and dusty old bibles
sworn on by sinners crimes,
so latch on to your preference
and do your heartstrings right
wish a crucial wish, tonight...
_____________________________

My Mother: I look back on these years
To see how far I've come and grown,
I take a trip down memory lane,
And what I see has shown ...

That every step I've taken,
You have been there by my side ...
From infancy to being a teen,
We've stood the test of time.

You cradled me and nurtured me,
Through all these many years;
You held me and did comfort me,
Through happiness and tears.

You'd pick me up when I would fall,
You'd dust me off and then,
Encourage me to get back on
That horse and ride again.

Your constant care and loving,
And your warm inviting heart,
Has always been a treasure that
I knew would n'er depart.

If I could be "just half" the person
You have been to me ...
Then you have taught me well dear mom,
For in my heart I see ...

A woman whose most gentle soul,
Embraces me each day ...
A woman whom I dearly love,
Much more than words can say.

^ I made that one for Mothers day if you wondered why I posted it. I'll post a few more when I think of ideas. Thanks for reading ^^

DarkGreg
May 22nd, 2006, 07:52 AM
Those are nice poems, I wonder where you get your ideas form? I like the mother one the most

Persona
May 22nd, 2006, 07:56 AM
Those are nice poems, I wonder where you get your ideas form? I like the mother one the most

Thanks bro. It depends, when you want to make a poem about nature, think of the earth and its living things. I guess I just try to dig deeper on my topic to get ideas.

Naminé
May 22nd, 2006, 12:56 PM
Ah, so Mr. Roy Mustang does pick up the pen to write as well. Unfortunately, poetry is perhaps one of Naminé's many great weak points, so therefore she will have to refrain from commenting as she is certainly, inferior to the other poets who can give any true advice here. However, if Mr. Roy Mustang have wrote any stories, she'll love to glance over them at the very least. If it is a fanfic and it includes canons that she is familiar with, why she'll love to spend the time to slowly read over them as well~

Persona
May 22nd, 2006, 01:43 PM
Ah, so Mr. Roy Mustang does pick up the pen to write as well. Unfortunately, poetry is perhaps one of Naminé's many great weak points, so therefore she will have to refrain from commenting as she is certainly, inferior to the other poets who can give any true advice here. However, if Mr. Roy Mustang have wrote any stories, she'll love to glance over them at the very least. If it is a fanfic and it includes canons that she is familiar with, why she'll love to spend the time to slowly read over them as well~

I'm sorry Naminé, I don't really write stories. But, I could try. Thanks for commenting. Even though it wasn't entirely about my poems, it still means that you did take the time to read them.

Kyoko
May 22nd, 2006, 01:45 PM
Those were really good and that mothers day one was so sweet Ryan^___^ If I gave something like that to my mom she would be crying her eyes out!! Great job and can't wait to read more when you write them^^

fallen_angel
May 22nd, 2006, 02:33 PM
Hehe they are really good poems. Maybe I should make a poetry thread for myself too...

Envy
May 23rd, 2006, 03:24 PM
Way to go!
Great poems , make some more . I'm really looking forward for it . ^ - ^

Persona
May 24th, 2006, 04:08 PM
Thanks for the comments. I have a new one, hopefully I'll get as much comments as before ^^

As Long As Your're Gone:
You're still sleeping,
I'm waiting for it to end,
But for as long as you're gone,
My heart will never mend.

You're resting your head,
But no dreams haunt you,
I'm counting the years,
Pushing on through.

You're holding your hands,
So still together,
Six years you have been gone,
And it feels like it's been forever.

No tears will fall from your eyes,
I'm still trying to understand,
But my tears are falling,
And I still find it hard sometimes to stand.

I'm finding it unfair,
Still after all these years,
My heart is still bleeding,
I'm still wishing away my fears.

I still need you here,
I'm holding a picture of you,
You're my beautiful angel,
Moving on is all I can do.

It still hurts deeply,
It still feels so wrong,
This is tearing me apart,
Like it has been since you have been gone.

I'm singing a song about you,
Wishing I could hold you so tight,
I'm wishing you were here,
So everything could be all right.

But you're still sleeping,
I'm still waiting for it to end,
But for as long as you're gone,
My heart will never mend.

MegaFuz
May 24th, 2006, 05:38 PM
Dang. Never knew you wrote poetry, my man. That is most definately some awesome work though. The one about your mom sent shivers down my spine. o.O Star light, star bright is really good. It filled my mind with some wild, vivid images. The last one is really good as well. Great love poetry. XD Don't know what to criticise, really. Phenomenal work. Keep it up, bro. The Poetry section needs more of this.

Persona
May 24th, 2006, 05:46 PM
Dang. Never knew you wrote poetry, my man. That is most definately some awesome work though. The one about your mom sent shivers down my spine. o.O Star light, star bright is really good. It filled my mind with some wild, vivid images. The last one is really good as well. Great love poetry. XD Don't know what to criticise, really. Phenomenal work. Keep it up, bro. The Poetry section needs more of this.

Thanks megafuz, I'm really honored of what you said in the end of your post.

Kyoko
May 25th, 2006, 11:09 AM
;; WOW that was excellent, Ryan^^ your poetry is amazing and very well written! Keep it up^^

Persona
May 25th, 2006, 12:22 PM
;; WOW that was excellent, Ryan^^ your poetry is amazing and very well written! Keep it up^^

Thank you ^^

I don't know when I'll start my next one, I still have to get ideas.

Midori Chi
May 25th, 2006, 02:05 PM
OMG! They're great! ^_^
I seriously don't see anything wrong with them.
(even though I read them super fast XD)
Keep up the good work!

Persona
May 26th, 2006, 01:24 PM
OMG! They're great! ^_^
I seriously don't see anything wrong with them.
(even though I read them super fast XD)
Keep up the good work!

Thanks Midori. Though, there has to be some things wrong. Not anything is perfect. ^^

A Sign:
Something clear to see
But invisible to you and me
Something strong to grab hold of
But the eye can not see

It stands in front of them
But they are to blind to see
Open your eyes
Don't be a fool
Why can't you see
It's standing right in front of you

The truth is being shown to you
Grab hold of it take it by the hand
It might not come again
Show it to the ones that care
There is where its dreams come true

But only if you see
The truth within me
So open your eyes
Look inside
See the truth
See whats meant to be

People all around
Unable to see
People all around
Blind to what they see

People are hurting inside
People are invisible
People are forgotten
People are alone

Never noticed
Never seen
Never heard
Never spoken
Never whispered
Never wished

Always forgotten
Their lonely life
Nobody can see
Waiting for a sign from above
To set them free

Kyoko
May 27th, 2006, 02:34 PM
That's a sad poem ;; but also very good^^ once again keep up the great work, your poems are awesome^_________^

Emma
May 27th, 2006, 02:39 PM
Great stuff, I like your poems Ryan ='D You're awesome at them ^^;

Persona
May 27th, 2006, 02:43 PM
Thanks for the comments guys. ^^

*Hugs*

Kalylia
May 28th, 2006, 05:12 AM
That was indeed a rather sad poem, but lacking in your previous vocabulary. And that was one of the things I deeply admired about your first few poems. I admit that my vocabulary gets repetative when I don't consiously think about finding synonyms to substitute for things like "blade", "love", and "hurt".

Your weak work in the above poem was "eyes". You used it a lot and it started to lose it's initial impact. I realize that most people don't notice things like that when they read a poem, but I pride myself on decent poetry and being able to recognize the good.

I greatly appreciate the fact that you have a grasp on grammar. And spelling. And punctuation. Those are wonderful things that make my life much more enjoyable!!

My suggestions are thus -- keep working to make your poetry taste wonderfully by using words sparingly and mixing it up frequently. Keep up the nice flows and rhythms. I look forward to seein more!

*inserts catch-phrase* Keep up the good work!

Klippy
May 28th, 2006, 09:42 PM
Great poems Ryan. *Pats Ryan on head* I like yo' stuff, son.

Memory
June 9th, 2006, 03:14 PM
Oh, wow, the "As Long as You're Gone" poem really got to me. xD You are really good, ryan! ^__^ I could learn a thing or two, from you. xD

Persona
June 10th, 2006, 10:51 AM
Sorry that I haven't posted any poems in a while, I couldn't think of any. Though, thanks for the comments and leaving my thread alive. ^^

Walk With Me:
Walk with me, the path of life,
to explore every bend of the road
Enjoy with me the beauty of life,
along its wonderful way

Find comfort with me, in each other's arms,
when grief crosses our path
Find strength with me, in each other's strength,
when despair lies in wait

Laugh with me, a single true laugh,
to enlighten another's distress
Cry with me, a single true tear,
to understand true happiness

Cherish with me, the wonders of life,
as they need to be preserved
Rejoice with me, in the mysteries,
of what is yet to be

Find peace with me, in each other's souls,
when the world has gone insane
Find love with me, in each other's hearts,
until this life has been fulfilled

And when the path comes to an end
I hope we can say from within
We've known the beauty of true love,
our love came from within

Kyoko
June 10th, 2006, 12:00 PM
So cute <3 Ryan you're really good at poetry (I know my coment is sooo original)

even without a rhyme scheme it was a great poem, keep it up^^

Persona
June 18th, 2006, 11:21 AM
So cute <3 Ryan you're really good at poetry (I know my coment is sooo original)

even without a rhyme scheme it was a great poem, keep it up^^

Thanks Seraphia. I just wanted to try something different. ^^;

One of my friends (Whose a girl) won't be coming back, she's leaving for New York. So, I decided to make a poem for her before she goes. Tell me what you think about it.

Goodbye:
Come lay down your sweet and weary head,
My mind fears we've come to our journey's end.
But sleep now and dream of everything before.
The memories you remember are always yours.

Why do these tears spoil your face,
When I promise to see all your fears pass away.
Soon you'll open your eyes and watch them sail,
And what do you see on that horizon instead?

You might hear a familiar laugh,
Or glimpse a smile in the twilight.
Those are my ships crossing the sea,
And they're full of happy memories.

Memories carried on great ships,
With sails powered only by the love of friendship,
Cutting through the waves of time
With promises to carry you home.

Don't turn away and don't struggle,
Unbar your mind and let them surge in.
Remember feeling safe beside me,-
Remember all the good things, and try to smile again.

Let them carry you back over the deep ocean.
Underneath you can see shadows lurking,
Of ships who have fallen in time's storms.
But mine will go on because I made a promise:
To carry you between the smiles and the tears...
Whenever you wanted to come home.

Memory
June 18th, 2006, 11:32 AM
Very nice. You've inspired me to write a sad poem. xD
Keep it up! I love your poems!~

Kyoko
June 18th, 2006, 01:06 PM
That is both sad and very cute, I'm sorry your friend has to leave but you wrote her a great poem, did you acually give it to her??? Anyways as I said it was a great poem and I loved the last verse, very cute :)

Persona
June 18th, 2006, 01:09 PM
Thanks for the comments. ^^

Seraphia- I didn't give it to her yet. When she's at her last day of school, I will.

Amy-chan
June 18th, 2006, 01:16 PM
Your latest poem reminded me of this (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Into-The-West-lyrics-Annie-Lennox/429DFAB0CA2CFCFB48256E2700178396) song quite a bit, particularly in the first two verses. Don't ask me why. *coughs* O_O'

Anyway, I liked it, I guess...a nice little poem about farewells between friends. I would have some recommendations for you, but I'm too sleepy to think... @_@ Ask me later. xD Keep writing and practicing, and I'm very sorry my comment is so vague.... n.n

Persona
June 18th, 2006, 01:32 PM
Your latest poem reminded me of this (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Into-The-West-lyrics-Annie-Lennox/429DFAB0CA2CFCFB48256E2700178396) song quite a bit, particularly in the first two verses. Don't ask me why. *coughs* O_O'

Anyway, I liked it, I guess...a nice little poem about farewells between friends. I would have some recommendations for you, but I'm too sleepy to think... @_@ Ask me later. xD Keep writing and practicing, and I'm very sorry my comment is so vague.... n.n

I didn't notice that that's almost the same as this one, but it does look like it. o.o

Thanks. When you're not sleepy, feel free to comment again.

~Summer Queen~
June 24th, 2006, 08:12 AM
Aww there so cute i love the first one about the Stars.. ^^;

Persona
July 1st, 2006, 07:46 AM
Thanks for the comment.

I've written a new one, about two days ago before our graduation at school.

Graduation Goodbyes:
The moment slows its motion,
And as I look around this room,
I can't help but ask myself,
How could this happen so soon?

Everyone is smiling proudly,
Taking pictures and laughing together,
I know at times things seemed so slow,
But now I want this to last forever.

It's a scary yet joyful feeling,
Knowing we've made it this far,
Knowing that we'll always be friends,
No matter where we are.

Taking a last walk to the desks,
That we used to hate with a passion,
Remembering daily trips to the lockers,
In our loud, un-orderly fashion...

Now the sounds have changed,
No more high school bells will ring,
Instead the future calls our names,
And its time to discover what it will bring.

One by one we each walk up,
To receive diplomas with a smile,
Four years used to seem so long,
But honestly it only took a short while.

Suddenly our time is up,
It's time to fly from the nest,
Time to reach for the higher goals,
And to you I wish the very best.

So wipe away all the tears,
Tears of joy and parting sadness,
It's time to face the oncoming future,
And fondly remember our schools madness.

fallen_angel
July 3rd, 2006, 08:18 AM
^_^ That's a really good poem. Once I tried to write a poem about the end of school and it sucked. ><

Persona
July 4th, 2006, 03:39 PM
^_^ That's a really good poem. Once I tried to write a poem about the end of school and it sucked. ><

Thanks. You can always try next year. If you continue practising in making poems, you'll get better. Everyone starts out small, remember that. ^^

.Socks
July 4th, 2006, 08:35 PM
I enjoyed your Star Light, Star Bright poem.

You have quite a nice talent!

Kyoko
July 5th, 2006, 07:45 AM
Your Graduation Goodbyes poem was excellent, you really caught the feelings of graduating so people can relate =D Of course this is no suprise since you're awesome at poetry (I'm sure you have no problem with that unit in school XD) Keep it up =D

DarkGreg
July 6th, 2006, 01:31 AM
I like your Star Light, Star Bright poem and the Goodbye one aswell , you seem to have a good nack for these poems, keep it up

phantom_zangetsu
July 6th, 2006, 05:25 AM
haha! felt the same way on our last day of school.....*sigh* brings back good memories eh? haha!
its good its good......cant say much coz....its everything! haha!

keep it up!

Persona
July 8th, 2006, 11:02 AM
Thanks for all the comments, I didn't expect that many. ^^

In The Midst of Growing:

Life is nothing more than a correction,
We are here because of wrong.
Just as we die because of neglection,
We live because we are strong.

A plant grows when it is fed,
As so does a mind.
Without mistakes a person's dead,
Or living life blind.

There's a battle everyday,
That God helps us overcome.
He tells us don't go astray,
No telling what we can become.

We live life at a cost,
And we all have growing pains.
Sometimes it seems like what we have lost,
Far outweighs what we have gained.

Sometimes it seems like what is bad,
Should have been what is good.
If I'm to fall when I am sad,
I should have never even stood.

If I'm to lay on my back,
I'm definitely going to rise.
Even though I only see black,
I'll still open my eyes.

When I look at my reflection,
I'm gonna love what I see.
I'm what is called a blessing,
Kind of a profit to be.

I've overcome so much,
In order to get where I'm going.
I can feel an angel's touch,
And it's helped me with my growing.

I have sure seen a lot,
But I haven't seen a thing.
I guarantee I won't be shocked,
What it is life will bring.

We are only scared to die,
Because of how we live.
Either we are lifted and we fly,
Or we are grounded and we give.

MegaFuz
July 8th, 2006, 11:17 AM
Wow. Being a graduate this year, the graduation poem really stirred up some emotions inside me. That seriously sent shivers down my spine and I had goosebumps on my arms. Re-read that when your graduation rolls around, and I'm sure it will stir up some emotions inside you as well. Great stuff, Ryan. Keep it up. =]