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SuperDeoxys
January 26th, 2007, 10:26 AM
i'll make legends of pokemon

Kyogre and Groudon

Legend has it that long time ago they had a fight everyone was terrified if caused waves on the citys and fire everywhere not many people survive and one of the people there was ashes brother name kenny he died cause the incedent when that happen a man came and said "Please don't fight be friends" they didn't listen and attacked the man the man was getting angry somehow he turned evil and summon something no one ever saw before it was rayquaza.the end (no one knew what happend then)

hope you like it i will only have this here for a while so read quick!

AC Coda X
January 26th, 2007, 11:58 AM
This is not a fanfic. This is a badly written paragraph. I apologize for my bluntness, but you really need to understand that this isn't what is meant by a fanfic. The forum rules kind of specify it needing to be longer. The grammar in this is kind of horrible as well... anyway, you need major improvement as a writer. Go read other fanfics, practice writing, etc. for a while and then come back. Until then, consider yourself the only writer to merit a one out of ten on the ACC scale. Meh.

Alter Ego
January 26th, 2007, 12:00 PM
Okay, I hate to be a minimod, but...this doesn't even seem like a proper fanfic. Four lines is the bare minimum for an accpeted RP post on the forums, it certainly isn't enough for a fic. You've also made a considerable amount of mistakes in grammar and spelling, your narrative is rushed, the plotline makes very little sense, and last I checked Ash didn't have a brother named Kenny. Also, how is this random person's alledged relation to the anime character I've grown to hate so much relevant to the story? Really...put a bit of effort and planning into it.

In short, please read the rules and the fanfic guide before you start a topic. .___. *Reports*

Scizz
January 26th, 2007, 12:21 PM
I don't see it necessary to repeat what has been said before, so, SuperDeoxys, please read the rules, before posting a thread here.

~closed~