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Yesterday
April 2nd, 2007, 08:56 AM
At Night
when crickets chirp,

the moon hangs
(against the midnight blue
with little holes
that angels peep through)
tucked with gray clouds
cradled by darkness,

lulled to sleep,
with gentle whispers of the wind,
singing a lullaby through leaves
of trees

whose gentle sighs
wash away the dreams
of the slumbering moon

at Night
when crickets chirp.

DeM0nFiRe
April 2nd, 2007, 02:08 PM
Hey, nice job. Good use of a classic style without going cliché. Has some nice imagery and metaphors fundamental to any poetry.

slayeryu12
April 3rd, 2007, 07:15 AM
yea the metaphors are good, your poem really sticks in my head and reminds me of what i do every night

oni flygon
April 5th, 2007, 10:00 AM
Eh... not a fan of your unorthodox structures, like I mentioned beforem, but the poem is pretty good. Nice use of personification and some little dash of metaphors here and there. Overall sounds nice, and I like poems like these... mostly... and like mentioned above, it's not too cliche. It's not some boring poem going "ah the moon is shining silver blah blah" like what most people would do...

dstaley
April 6th, 2007, 09:32 PM
It's pretty good. The imagery and use of other literary devices really gives it some personality. The absence of a set rhythm is also an added plus.

Something offtopic: How can you really critic someone's poetry? Couldn't almost anything fall under "artistic liberty"?

Yesterday
April 14th, 2007, 02:23 PM
thankees for the commentsssss!!!!!!!! ^w^ its better than SOMEONE who dint comment at all... u.u