PDA

View Full Version : Pompeii


MrRandomIDon'tCare
May 11th, 2007, 09:23 AM
Ok, this is the first poem I've posted on here


The things that happened in Pompeii
We cannot imagine in modern day

All those people trying to escape
Got taken mercilessly in Death's cape

The fire, the darkness, the angry mountain
All boiled up to an ash-filled fountain

The ignorant Romans got deprived
Of hundreds and hundreds of innocent lives

It didn't get discovered for a thousand years and more
But the people who found it hadn't heard of it before

So the looted, snooted, took all they found
While leaving most of it under the ground

But now we know exactly what occured
Thanks to what Pliny the Younger heard



24th August AD 79
Tremors were felt, they thought it was a sign

From the Gods, so they stayed inside their villa
But then got murdered by a natural killer

Vesuvius erupted, smoke spewed from the top
For almost a day, it didn't stop

Relentless, it's smoke getting higher and higher
The smoke as hot as burning fire

On poor Herculaneum, the mudslide falls
It turned into rock, covered the city walls

The people who stayed, the ash clinged to their skin
And after it cooled, it killed them within



But now, the event is a tourist attraction
People go to the crater, where the action happened

I should be going there, only next year
With my collegues, but for now I must stay here.


Thanks, comment if you like.


DMJ

Scotty
June 11th, 2007, 07:29 AM
Cool poem, any moral in the poem or not?

MrRandomIDon'tCare
June 11th, 2007, 07:30 AM
nah, it's just about what happened in pompeii.

Scarlet Weather
June 25th, 2007, 05:42 PM
Well.. I'm not a great judge of poetry, but it has a definite rhyme scheme and rhythm, which is always a plus.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
July 11th, 2007, 02:36 PM
Also, it counts with a constant structure and I find it natural. Great poem, just watch out for the metric next time. It's lacking at some places, like the last stanza.

MrRandomIDon'tCare
July 20th, 2007, 11:22 AM
oh ok, next time i write one, i'll be sure to take your comments into consideration.

Thanks.
DMJ